Swallowbrook's Winter Bride (2 page)

He’d needed to know if it was because of his leaving that she was marrying the pleasure-loving owner of the local stables…on the rebound. Or if the feelings that she’d said she had for himself had been just a passing attraction that she’d soon moved on from and there was no longer any need for him to carry the burden of guilt that his leaving her had created.

A delayed flight had denied him the chance to clear the air between them and he’d arrived at the church just as the vicar had pronounced them man and wife. As he’d watched Libby smile up at her new husband he’d turned and departed as quickly as he’d come, deciding in that moment he had his answer. Her feelings for him
had
been a passing fancy and a prize fool he would have appeared if anyone had seen him hovering in the church porch for a glimpse of her.

When he’d reached the lych gate in the churchyard a bus had pulled up beside him on the pavement and he’d boarded it, uncaring where it was bound in his haste to get away before he was seen.

As he’d waited for a flight to take him back to where he’d come from he’d thought sombrely that his arrogance all that time ago when in her despair at the thought of him going away Libby had confessed her love for him and been told he wasn’t interested, had only been exceeded by him expecting her to want to talk to him of all people on her wedding day.

She had turned up at the airport on the morning he had left for Africa and been the only one there. He’d said his farewells to his father the night before and told everyone else he didn’t want any send-offs, so it had been a surprise, and he’d had to admit a pleasant one, to see her there.

They had been due to call his flight any time and during those last few moments in the UK Libby had begged him not to go. ‘I love you, Nathan,’ she’d pleaded. ‘I always have. Until I awoke this morning I had accepted that you were going out of my life. Then suddenly I knew I had to see you just one more time.

‘I know the importance of the work you are going to do in Africa, but there would still be time for that when we’d had
our
time, some life together in happiness and contentment and maybe brought up a family.’

She had chosen the most inopportune moment to make her plea, with only minutes to spare before he boarded the plane,
and
with the memory tugging at him of a failed engagement not so long ago that had done neither he nor his fiancée any credit.

There had been tears in her eyes but instead of making him want to comfort her he’d reacted in the opposite way and been brusque and offhand as he’d told her, ‘How can you face me with something like this at such a time, Libby? I’m due to leave in a matter of minutes. Just forget me. Don’t wait around. Relationships aren’t on my agenda at present.’

Then, ashamed of his churlishness, he’d bent to give her a peck on the cheek. Instead their lips had met and within seconds it had all changed.

He’d been kissing her as if he’d just walked into light out of darkness and it would have gone on for ever if a voice hadn’t been announcing that his flight was ready for boarding.

As common sense had returned he’d said it again. ‘Don’t wait around for me, Libby.’ And almost before he’d finished speaking she’d been rushing towards the exit as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

Aware that his behaviour had left a lot to be desired, and cursing himself for trampling on what was left of her schoolgirl crush, he’d vowed that he would phone her when he arrived at his destination and apologise for his flippancy, but in the chaos he’d found when he’d got there his private life had become non-existent, until he’d received his father’s phone call some months later to say Libby was getting married on the coming Saturday.

Then it had all come flooding back—her tears, the loveliness of her, and his own arrogance in brushing to one side her feelings for him by telling her not to wait for him, indicating in the most presumptuous way that
he
wasn’t interested in
her.

But, of course, by then it had been too late. How could he ever forget how happy she had looked when the vicar had made his pronouncement to say Libby and Ian were man and wife? And he’d thought how wrong he’d been in considering that she might be marrying Jefferson on the rebound.

Now, as he looked down at Toby, young and defenceless beneath the covers, he knew that there would be barriers to break down in coming months and bridges to build, not just in one part of his life but in the whole structure of it, because his contract in Africa was up. He was home for good, and coming back to Swallowbrook was his first step towards normality.

He’d done nothing when he’d heard that Jefferson had died. To have appeared on the scene then might have seemed like he’d been waiting in the wings and it would not have been the case. But now he’d had no choice but to come back to England because his best friend and his wife had been amongst tourists drowned on a sinking ferry somewhere abroad. The tragedy had changed his life and that of the sleeping child for ever.

As she sat hunched over the teapot Libby was thinking what a mess her life had turned into in the three years since she’d last laid eyes on Nathan. Anxious to prove to the world, but most importantly to herself, that her feelings for him were dead and buried she’d turned to Ian Jefferson, someone who had already asked her to marry him twice and been politely refused.

And so six months later, with Nathan’s never-to-be-forgotten comments at the airport still painfully remembered, she’d agreed to marry Ian at his third time of asking.

They’d been reasonably happy at first, living in Lavender Cottage, across from the surgery, but as the months had gone by she had discovered that Ian had merely wanted a wife, any wife, to give him standing in the village, and the blonde doctor from the practice had been his first choice.

Marriage hadn’t made him any less keen on spending endless hours on the golf course, sailing on the lake by Swallowbrook and, while his staff looked after the stables, riding around the countryside on various of his horses, which had left him with little time to comprehend the burden of care that Libby carried with her position at the practice, a position that left her with little time or energy to share in his constant round of pleasure.

It had been one night whilst out riding that he had been thrown from a frisky mare and suffered serious injuries that had proved fatal, leaving her to face another gap in her life that was sad and traumatic, but not as heartbreaking as being separated from Nathan.

When she’d drunk the teapot dry Libby went to bed for the second time and after tossing and turning for most of the night drifted into sleep as dawn was breaking over the fells. She was brought into wakefulness a short time later by voices down below at the bottom of the drive and when she went to the window the dairy farmer who delivered her milk was chatting to Nathan, who, judging from the amount of milk he was buying off him, was making sure that he and Toby would not have to go begging for his bedtime drink again.

Not wanting to be seen watching him, she went slowly back to bed, grateful that it was Saturday with no need to get up if she didn’t want to, and as a pale sun filtered into her bedroom she began to go over the astonishing events of the previous night.

Nathan is back in Swallowbrook,
a voice in her mind was saying,
but not because of you. He has a family. He has made his choice and it has to be better than the one you made.

She surfaced at lunchtime in a calmer state of mind and, dressed in slacks and a smart sweater, went to the village for food and various other things she needed from the shops after being away.

There had been no sign of anyone from next door when she’d set off, but Nathan’s car had still been in front of the cottage, so either they were inside out of sight or had ventured out for the boy to see where they had come to live, and the man to reacquaint himself with the place where he had been brought up amongst people who had been his patients and friends.

To make her way home she had to pass the park next to the school that strangely for a Saturday was empty, except for Nathan and the boy, who was moving from one amusement to another in the children’s play area.

Don’t stop,
she told herself.
Nathan has had all morning to see you again if he wanted to, so don’t give him the satisfaction of thinking you’ve followed him here.

The two of them looked lonely and lost in the deserted park. He was pushing Toby on one of the swings, but on seeing her passing lifted him off. Now they were coming towards her and she was getting a better look at the prodigal doctor than in her mesmerised state the night before.

His time in Africa had taken its toll of him, she observed as he drew nearer. He was leaner, giving off less of the dynamism that had so attracted her to him over the years, but his hair was the same, the dark thatch of it curling above his ears, and his eyes were still the unreadable dark hazel that they’d always been where she was concerned.

‘I can’t believe you were going to go past without speaking,’ he said as they drew level.

‘Why?’ she asked steadily. ‘What is there to say?’

‘On my part that I was sorry to hear of Jefferson’s fatal accident, and for another—’

He was interrupted by the child at his side tugging at his hand and saying, ‘Can I go on the slide, Uncle Nathan?’

‘Yes, go along,’ he replied. ‘I’ll be with you in a moment.’ As Libby observed him in a daze of non-comprehension he explained, ‘I’m in the process of adopting Toby. Both his parents are dead. They were lost when a ferry sank while they were touring Europe. Thankfully he was saved. His father was my best friend and I am the boy’s godfather.

‘I went out to bring him home when it happened and applied to adopt him as there were no other relatives to lay claim to him. The paperwork is going through at the moment and soon he will be legally mine.’

‘How do you cope?’ she asked as the heartache of thinking that Nathan had a family of his own began to recede.

‘It was difficult in the beginning because although Toby knew me well enough, naturally it was his mummy and daddy he wanted. He is adjusting slowly to the situation, yet is loath to ever let me out of his sight.’

Poor little one, she thought, poor godfather…
poor me.
How am I going to cope having Nathan living next door to me with the memory of what he said that day at the airport still crystal clear? He has never been back to Swallowbrook since and now, as if he hadn’t hurt me enough then, he has chosen to live in the cottage next to mine.

He was observing her questioningly in the silence that her thoughts had created, and keen to escape the scrutiny of his stare she asked, ‘How old is Toby?’

‘He’s just five, and the ferry catastrophe occurred three months ago. You might have read about it in the press or seen an account of it on television.’

That was unlikely, she thought wryly. In the mornings it was a quick breakfast, then across the way to the practice, and in the evenings the day’s events had to be assimilated and paperwork brought up to date.

‘What will you do now that you’re here?’ she asked, trying to sound normal. ‘Enrol Toby at the village school?’

‘I’ve already done so and am not sure how he is going to react to yet another change in his life. I have to tread softly with his young mind. He soon gets upset, which is to be expected, of course.’

She felt tears prick. It was all so sad that Nathan had been forced to take on such a responsibility
and
felt he had to return to Swallowbrook for the child’s sake if nothing else.

As they went to wait for Toby at the bottom of a small slide the man by her side was smiling, which was strange, as given what he had just told her he hadn’t got a lot to smile about.

CHAPTER TWO

I
T
WAS
a lot to take in. Only yesterday she had been flying home from two refreshing weeks in Spain with Melissa. Today she was in the park with Nathan and a child that he was adopting, and though she felt great sympathy for their loss she couldn’t help but feel relieved that Nathan hadn’t found himself a ready-made wife and family during his time in Africa.

If she had known he was coming back to Swallowbrook in the near future she would have had time to prepare herself for meeting up again with the man who had made it so painfully clear on parting that he didn’t return her feelings. But instead it was as if she’d been thrown in at the deep end.

She was bending to pick up the bag with her food shopping inside when he forestalled her by saying easily, ‘I’ll take that,’ and to Toby, who was coming down the slide for the umpteenth time, ‘Time to go, Tobias.’

When the little one had joined them they walked back to their respective properties in silence. As they were about to separate Libby asked, ‘Have you been to see your father?’

He nodded. ‘Yes, we went to see him yesterday in a gap between deliveries of furniture and other household goods, and before you came back from wherever you’d been.’

‘I’d been to Spain for a fortnight with a friend for a much-needed break,’ she said coolly, ‘and hope to be on top form at the practice on Monday.’

‘Ah, yes,’ he said vaguely, as if he had only a faint recollection of the place. ‘Dad told me he plans to hand the practice over to you.’

‘Yes. I’m delighted to have his trust. I think I love that place almost as much as he does. I couldn’t bear to see it close down with his retirement and said as much to him.’

‘So you’ll be a doctor short now that Dad’s gone,’ he commented as she fumbled around in her handbag for the door keys.

‘Yes. John and I have seen one or two hopefuls, but he was strangely reluctant to make a decision and now I see why. He’s been waiting for you to come home.’

He nodded. ‘Possibly, but Dad has only just found out about Toby and now realises that it wouldn’t work. I need to be there to see him into school in the morning and to be waiting when he comes out in the afternoon.’

‘Part time?’

‘Yes, unless I was to employ a nanny, but he has had enough changes to put up with already without my putting him in the charge of a stranger.’

She had the keys in her hand now, but before putting them in the lock had one thing to say that hopefully would end this strange moment.

‘Your father might want you back in the practice, Nathan, but I’m not sure that I do.
I have my life planned and it doesn’t include working with
you.
At the moment the doctors in the practice are myself and Hugo Lawrence, who came to us from general practice in Bournemouth to
be where he could give support to his sister and her children. She was widowed some time ago and isn’t coping very well.

‘There are three nurses, three part-time receptionists and Gordon Jessup is still practice manager from when you were there before, and with a district nurse and a midwife attached to the surgery we have an excellent team with just one more doctor needed to make it complete. I’m not enjoying the interview process much—it’s not really my area of expertise. Also it’s proving difficult to fill the vacancy. We face stiff competition from urban practices, lots of younger doctors seem put off by the remoteness of the community, but we don’t want anyone too near retirement either. The patients and the practice need stability. I’ve already heard a few rumblings from those concerned about your father’s departure.’

‘But you don’t want me?’

‘No, not particularly, but as the senior partner I suppose I should forget personal feelings and consider the best interests of the patients. They would most likely be thrilled to see the Gallagher name remain above the threshold. And I suppose you working part time might work very well for us—it wasn’t something I’d considered before.’ In a voice that sounded as if she was reciting her own epitaph she went on, ‘So, yes, if that is what you want, come and join us.’

‘Thanks a bunch,’ he said with a quizzical smile, knowing she felt he deserved her lack of enthusiasm. Though would Libby still feel the same if she knew about his last-minute attempt to speak to her before her wedding? But no way was he going to use that to turn her round to his way of thinking.

Apart from the practice, which she would serve well as head, there must be little for her to rejoice about in any other sphere of her life now that Jefferson was gone.

He hadn’t been expecting a fanfare of trumpets on his return to Swallowbrook, or Libby throwing herself into his arms, but he had been hoping she might have forgiven him for what he’d said in those moments of parting long ago.

It had been partly for Toby’s sake that he’d come back to Swallowbrook, but always there had been the hope that one day he and Libby might meet again and a chance to make up for the past would present itself.

‘Do you want to come to the practice on Monday morning to discuss your hours? I could make sure I’m free at ten o’clock,’ she was suggesting.

‘Yes, please.’

He’d said it meekly but the glint in the dark eyes looking into hers said differently.

He hasn’t changed, she thought. Nathan Gallagher is still a law unto himself. She put her key in the lock and told him, ‘So ten o’clock on Monday it is.’

Bending, she planted a swift kiss on Toby’s smooth cheek and said in gentle contrast to the businesslike tone she’d used to Nathan, ‘We have a lovely school here, Toby, I’m sure you’ll like it.’

He was a wiry child with a mop of fair curls, and so far hadn’t said a word to her, but that was about to change.

‘Are you my uncle’s friend?’ he asked.

Aware of Nathan’s gaze on her, she said carefully, ‘No, I am just someone he used to work with.’

Having satisfied himself on that, Toby had another question that was more personal.

‘Have
you
got any children?’

‘No, I’m afraid not.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I have never found anyone nice enough to be their daddy,’ she told him.

‘So why—?’ The small questioner hadn’t finished, but didn’t get the chance to continue the interrogation as Nathan was taking his hand and preparing to depart.

‘Say goodbye to Dr Hamilton,’ he said, and with half a smile for her, ‘Until Monday, then, at ten o’clock, Libby.’

She nodded, and with sanctuary beckoning opened the door and went inside.

It seemed as if Sunday was going to be a non-event day and Libby was thankful for it. While she was having breakfast she saw Nathan and Toby go down the drive and get into the car with fishing rods and surmised they were going to spend some time with his father at the pine lodge he’d recently moved into.

When they’d gone she did what she’d been doing ever since their discussion about Nathan coming back into the practice, which was wishing she hadn’t been so overbearing in her manner.

She’d made it clear without actually putting it into words that she hadn’t forgotten that day at the airport, and wasn’t going to fall into the same trap ever again where he was concerned. Yet if that
was
the case, why had she been so happy to discover that he wasn’t married with a family?

What he was doing for Toby was so special it brought tears to her eyes every time she thought about it. Through no fault of his own Nathan had taken on the role of single father with the burden of care that went with it, and all
she
had done so far was cut him down to size about working in the practice, which was where he belonged now that the African contract was finished.

He’d said he was sorry to hear about what had happened to Ian and she’d thought that he didn’t know that disillusion had followed swiftly after a marriage that had been a mistake from the start. Remembering Toby’s curiosity of the day before, the answer she’d come up with for not having children had been true. She wouldn’t have wanted a child from a union as empty as hers and Ian’s had been.

With the afternoon and evening looming ahead, she decided to resort to one of her favourite pastimes, a sail on one of the steamers that ploughed through the waters of the lake countless times each day, and on disembarking at the other end would have her evening meal at her favourite restaurant beside the moorings.

The boat was full and she stood holding onto the rail, taking in the splendour of the new hospital on the lakeside as they sailed past and gazing enviously at houses built from the pale grey stone of the area with their own private landing stages and fishing rights.

She could see farms in the distance, surrounded by green meadows where livestock grazed, and high up above, towering on the skyline, as familiar as her own face, were the fells, the rugged guardians of the lakes.

Had Nathan the same love of this lakeland valley as she had? she wondered. Had he ever longed to be back in the place where his roots were during those hot days in Africa? If he had it would be at least one thing they had in common, she thought wryly, and wondered how many fish he and Toby had caught in the river beside John’s pine lodge.

The answers to the questions in her mind were nearer than she thought as his voice came from behind and as she turned swiftly he said, ‘I used to dream I was doing the round trip on one of these boats when I was far away. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept me sane.’

Before he could elaborate further Toby was tugging at her sleeve and announcing excitedly, ‘We’ve caught some fish, Dr Hamilton.’

‘Really!’ she exclaimed, suitably impressed. ‘How many?’

‘Two. A salmon and a pike,’ he announced.

‘But we had to throw the pike back into the water because it is a special fish,’ Nathan explained.

‘And so where is the salmon now?’

‘Dad is cooking it for us for when we get back,’ Nathan informed her, ‘but first I wanted Toby to sail on the steamer.’ In a low voice he added, ‘I’m sorry if you feel that I’m everywhere you turn, Libby. I had no idea you were on board. Would you like to come back and join us? There will be plenty of fish to spare.’

Temptation was staring her in the face, but she was not going to succumb. It was going to be a strictly working relationship that she had in mind for them and nothing else, so she said politely, ‘Thanks for the invitation, but I have a regular table booked at my favourite restaurant and wouldn’t want to let them down.’

He was getting the message, Nathan thought. Not exactly the cold shoulder, but the ‘I have not forgotten’ treatment, and he wished, as he had done many times before, that he had got in touch with Libby the moment he’d arrived in Africa and at the very least apologised to the beautiful girl whose heart he had broken.

But the timing had been wrong all along the line, beginning with him discovering at the airport that he wasn’t as indifferent to Libby Hamilton as he’d thought he was, followed by the knowledge that his flight was due to be called any moment, and overriding everything else, at the forefront of his mind, had been his commitment to the hospital in Africa.

The outcome of it had been that he’d been dumbstruck by the suddenness of it all, and had sent her away, then months later there had been his dash across half the world to speak to Libby before she became Jefferson’s wife but he’d missed his chance by seconds and returned to Africa with his questions unanswered.

But now
he
was home, back in Swallowbrook once more, and s
he
was minus a husband, though undoubtedly still reeling from grief, and he was still no nearer to knowing how deep her feelings had been that day at the airport. It could have been a carry-over from her schoolgirl crush. In fact, it must have been a short-lived infatuation judging from the speed with which she’d married Ian Jefferson, and there had certainly been no chemistry between them since he’d turned up out of the blue with Toby. Plenty of being put in his place but no rousing of the senses for either of them as far as he could tell.

‘Fine,’ he said easily in answer to her refusal.

She’d looked so solitary standing by the rail, watching the steamer cutting its way through the water on its journey across the lake, that he hadn’t been able to resist inviting her to join them at his father’s place but again the barriers had been up.

When they arrived at the moorings at the far side Nathan and Toby stayed on the steamer in readiness for sailing back and Libby, after a brief goodbye, went to dine at the restaurant that she’d used as an excuse to refuse his invitation.

The fact that she’d already been on her way there didn’t make her excuse to Nathan any less untruthful. Although she dined there frequently she didn’t have a table booked on a regular basis, and for once she didn’t enjoy the food that was put in front of her.

She caught the last steamer back before the light went and then made her way to Swallowbrook in a sombre mood with the thought of starting work as senior partner with Nathan as her newest employee the following morning.

A knock on the door of her consulting room at precisely ten o’clock announced Nathan’s arrival and Libby pushed back her chair and went to let him in.