Susan Boyle (24 page)

‘After mum died it didn’t fully register until maybe six months after. That’s when the loneliness set in and there was nobody around except my cat Pebbles. When you lose someone as powerful as your mum you feel as if a part of you is taken away and that does things to your confidence.’

She said music was ‘a complete emotional release’ from the problems she encountered in her youth, explaining, ‘This feels like a good way of making up for that – a very, very enjoyable way of making up for it as well.’

That wasn’t, of course, the only interview that Susan gave. In contrast to the anodyne conversation she had with American television, she was remarkably candid in a talk with Ian ‘Molly’ Meldrum for Australian television. His down-to-earth, low-key questioning
allowed her to reveal much more of the torment she had been through at various stages in her life, than the fairly saccharin approach of interviewing in the US.

She expanded on the points he had raised in the
Mirror
: ‘When people are a wee bit slow, others pick at them,’ she said. ‘My life was made absolute hell.’ She said she was constantly ‘made a fool of’ at school, and admitted that the jibes have left her emotionally scarred and holding on to a lot of anger.

‘I can be up and down like a yo-yo. I can be depressed. I can be a bit funny after being tired, but when I go on stage I forget all about that. I feel I’ve got a communication with the audience. I’m told I’m a different person on stage.

‘I know I’m taking a big chance telling people this, but you have to be honest. I used to be made a fool of at school. It was psychological bullying and that leaves a scar and it also cultivates a lot of anger.’

When Meldrum pointed out that she had given hope to others with her success, she took up his theme by saying, ‘Especially those who tend to be the underdog like myself. I have a slight disability and people have always been saying to me “you can’t do this and you can’t do that, or you can’t take this job” or whatever. It made me so annoyed and angry and frustrated. I like to think that people who dare to dream a dream can have that dream come true through their own determination.

‘So when I went on
Britain’s Got Talent
it was a chance to prove myself. I had a lot of friends in the community who said I had a reasonable voice and obviously I had the support of my mother and members of my family, which is very important.

‘In some ways I had a conflict with my mother. Everybody argues, everybody does things they should not do. And it was really was poignant and it did make me cry, and I’m trying not to do that now, that she is not alive to see how proud I would have made her. I know she would have been proud of me.’

When Meldrum pointed out her success around the world, her response was simple: ‘All I did was open my gob and sing. I just made a noise. Everybody does it you know…’

Was the pressure too great? ‘Pressure is good because it makes you work hard, but it works against you when you get a bit tired, you need rest periods in between. That’s the only way I can handle it. But other than that it’s been good fun.’

She added, ‘If people didn’t recognise you I might end up saying, “What am I doing wrong?”

‘Everybody goes through phases where they think should I give up and if I hadn’t made that promise to my mother then I probably would have given up… I did not have a path in life. I did not have anything set out for me. A lot of people have their lives mapped out for them, mine was not. I did not know what I wanted to
be. I did not know what I was good at. I wasn’t told I was good at anything. I was always kept down. So the question there was what was I going to be, what was my goal, what was my place in life.’

It was a remarkable interview by the grizzled Aussie, who had coaxed more out of Susan than anyone before.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom, though, Susan was quite perky throughout it too, and at one stage when Meldrum asked her jokingly if she would replace Mick Jagger in the Stones for a version of ‘Wild Horses’, she reduced him to laughter with an impromptu impersonation of the Stones’ singer.

Although ‘SuBo mania’ was still as strong as ever, and there had been the rendition of ‘Wild Horses’ in the US, Susan had not sung in public or on-screen in the UK for some time. Therefore, a story about her singing ‘Wild Horses’ on the
The X Factor
at the time of her album release towards the end of November was billed as ‘ a comeback’!

It would be the first time she had been back to Fountain Studios in Wembley – the original home of many classic TV programmes such as
Ready, Steady, Go
and
No Hiding Place
and where she had lost out in the
BGT
final to Diversity.

It was a wonderful return to the stage for Susan, who received a standing ovation from the audience before she’d even sung a note. She said it was ‘bloody great’ to be back, and added, ‘I feel at home and I loved
performing. The public should watch out for the album.’

Simon Cowell told her, ‘I feel so proud of you and it’s lovely to have you here.’

She was struggling with a cold and needed two ‘takes’ to get ‘Wild Horses’ right as she coughed during the first version of the song. Fortunately it was pre-recorded so when it was transmitted the rendition was described as ‘flawless’ by critics. The
Daily Mirror
said she had ‘made a triumphant return to British TV.’ Pop diva Mariah Carey had also pre-recorded her number for the show, and for the same reason as Susan – being double-booked. Susan had to fly to America on the day the
The X Factor
was being televised in order to plug the new album and it was impossible for her to be in two places at once.

Reuters News Agency circulated a story that weekend which summed up the fever-pitch feeling as the minutes ticked by until the official release of Susan’s album:

‘Scottish singer Susan Boyle, one of the biggest stars of the Internet age, seeks to turn global celebrity into record sales next week with the release of her debut album
I Dreamed a Dream
.

‘Named after the song from the musical
Les Misérables
that made her famous, the 12-track album is a mix of pop covers like Madonna’s “You’ll See” and The Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” and Christian stalwarts like “Amazing Grace” and “Silent Night”.

‘The Sony Music record hits stores in Britain on
Monday and in the United States on Tuesday, and the early commercial signs are promising.

‘The album is the largest ever global CD pre-order on online retailer Amazon.com, with sales reportedly in excess of 100,000, and is the bookmakers’ favourite to top the British chart over the lucrative Christmas period.’

The story did end with a rare downbeat note, however, when it added: ‘Early reviews have been unfavourable… with
The Times
newspaper calling it “an uncomfortable package” in a two-out-of-five star review, the same rating as the
Guardian
.’

If that was a slightly downbeat end to the item, the same could not be said of many of the other reviews. The
Scotsman
, for example, said: ‘
I Dreamed A Dream
has become the most pre-ordered album of all time and her unexpectedly accomplished version of The Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” is ubiquitous. The camera may not have loved her on her initial TV appearance but, on this evidence, the recording studio does seem to.
I Dreamed A Dream
is certainly better than it needed to be for such a sure commercial thing, with some thought invested in the song selection.’ The review continued by saying that Susan ‘tests her chops on the seminal “Cry Me a River”, revealing classiness, sassiness and an understanding of phrasing along the way; and displays some devotional fervour on Patty Griffin’s gospelly “Up To the Mountain”, inspired by Martin Luther King’s “I’ve been to the mountaintop speech”.’

Julian Monaghan, head of music buying at Amazon.co.uk, said, ‘Just eight months ago, no one was aware of the talents of Susan Boyle. Now, she has generated more Amazon pre-order CD sales globally than any artist. That is an incredible achievement and is testament to the fact that she has captured the hearts of people all over Britain, America and the rest of the world.’

Susan had been to the US before, for that appearance in Los Angeles, but now New York was in her sights as she flew out to promote the album. She was welcomed by a crowd of fans straining at the barriers at JFK airport, some of whom were waving pictures of her, others tartan banners and Scotland flags or posters declaring their love for her. No wonder Susan was moved to say:

‘It was really knockout actually. Especially at the airports. It’s quite a lot to take in and it’s a bit overwhelming at times – I’ve got to be honest here.’

Many of the admirers who came to greet her at JFK were middle-aged women – one of her core groups of fans – and they wore red scarves similar to the ones Susan had been seen in as a gesture of solidarity with her. One internet fan site alone had 37,000 registered fans – and the number was rising by the day. Interestingly, as well as Susan’s much-discussed appearance and voice, her religious faith was also said to be one of the reasons Americans had such an affinity with her.

She was to sing three songs from the album. Wrapped
up tight a cold New York wind, Susan sang ‘Wild Horses’ plus ‘Cry Me a River’ and ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ on an outdoor stage at the Rockefeller Plaza for millions watching on television.

Interviewed by
Today
presenter Matt Lauer, Boyle said she had changed since that first performance which became the massive YouTube hit.

‘I’ve grown up a bit,’ she said. ‘I’ve become more of a lady. I don’t swivel my hips as much, you know?’

She added that one of the songs on her album, the cover of Madonna’s ‘You’ll See’, was her answer to those who she says bullied her at school. ‘That was a statement I was trying to make, because I was bullied a lot at school: “You may have done that to me when I was younger, but you can’t do it to me any more. I’m grown up now.”’

She was backed by an orchestra and hundreds of fans – many who had travelled across the country to see her – surrounded her as, at one point, she whooped loudly and waved her scarf in the air.

The whistle-stop visit was not without incident, however. At one stage Susan sucked her thumb and was apparently staring into the distance. And, finally, she burst into tears with her head in her hands. It happened after she was given a patchwork quilt that had been stitched together by hundreds of people, from 28 countries including the UK, USA, Australia, Canada, Mexico, Poland, Japan and Antarctica.

One source said, ‘Everyone around her is acutely aware how susceptible she is to becoming emotional when under stress. She has just undertaken a tour of America, which would put anyone under enormous pressure.

‘It seems to have taken its toll and she was upset. She is being closely monitored and given all the support she needs.’

A spokesman for Susan played down the incident, saying, ‘She was just overjoyed and extremely touched with the reception she has had from everyone in America.’

Afterwards she went up the Empire State Building to film some footage for an ITV special due to go out mid-December. And the next day she was taken to CBS for a pre-recorded interview and performance. She then went for lunch to the Tavern on the Green with her entourage – her publicist, personal assistant, record company executives and bodyguards.

By the end of the week Susan was back home in Blackburn. She had swapped the luxury of her £2,800-a night suite at the Ritz-Carlton, with its French linen bedding and yellow chintz furniture, for the place she really called home.

Back behind the mock-Georgian white door of her pebble-dash council home she was said to be making plans to leave her London flat and relinquish her gym membership and chauffer-driven car. She was swapping the granite kitchen and cream walls of that luxury apartment for a pair of well-used beige velour
armchairs, a collection of brass teapots on the fireplace and a dusty whisky jar filled with loose change.

One of her public relations team said, ‘Home is the one in Blackburn that she grew up in, and that is the home she wants to live in. She will not be buying a house in London. Her London pad, which is rented, is convenient for the time being. Because of Susan being in London to work on the album she has been splitting her time, but she will be back in Scotland very soon, with Pebbles.’

Those thumb-sucking pictures and the tears in New York had led some observers to speculate that Susan was on the brink again, but she denied this once she had settled in back home. She said that one the fans had asked her how her career was progressing and she replied she was taking things slowly and progressing in ‘baby steps’ and put her thumb in her mouth as a joke. She couldn’t believe it when photographs of the incident were later accompanied by text suggesting she could be having a breakdown.

The tears were simply that she was moved by the caring nature of her admirers who had taken so much trouble to make her a quilt. ‘I’m happy and doing fine. I have never been accepted by the world before. Now I do feel part of it and I find it really exciting. I feel very content within myself, and as I’m finally achieving my dream I feel so lucky and privileged. I keep asking myself, “Is this really happening?” And I keep expecting someone to say, “Ha ha, love, we’re kidding.”’ She
insisted she was loving being famous, saying, ‘Everyone has fears but mine is probably that this will all disappear. I want it to keep on going as long as possible. If it did all go away tomorrow, I know that I’ve enjoyed every moment of living the dream now.’

The acceptance that she was now receiving was the best aspect of her fame, she felt, after being taunted in her childhood. ‘It means I’m a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. But I’ve got a great deal more ability than people give me credit for. At school, I felt very frustrated, very lonely – people didn’t want to sit next to me in class. I was often bawling my eyes out and it does tend to chip away at your personality.’

And as for her new appearance: ‘I keep reading that I’ve had all this Botox, the teeth whitening… but I haven’t had that at all. I’ve been working hard and lost a bit of weight which has been good for me. The whole process has been good for me.’