'Patrick speaks good English doesn't he? He is German isn't he?'
'Yeah, Adrian met him when they worked together out there, Frankfurt I think.'
'I always thought Germans were a bit uptight, you know?' Rebecca pondered, staring distractedly at two girls clattering along a cleared pavement, wearing skirts that were much too short and heels that were much too high considering the state of the weather.
Sonny shook his head as he changed lanes to head into the town centre.
'Aww man, I did some work in Germany for the US military and I had a great time out there, I mean, some of them are assholes but that's the same anywhere, most of the Germans I knew were good guys.'
He laughed to himself.
'Man, I gotta tell ya, some of those guys know how to drink!'
'So they're all pissheads heads then?' She chuckled.
'No, no, they just knew how to have a good time. We'd go out and get really shit-faced some nights but it was kinda different to over here, like, I never saw any aggression or fights or shit like that in the pubs, they just enjoyed themselves.'
'So were you in the army then?'
'No way man' Sonny harrumphed.
'I was a civilian contractor in the US Air Force and I was doing IT shit for them for about six years. It was a good time; I got to travel all over the world on projects but Anna, my wife, she wanted to settle in one place for a bit and because I was based at Lakenheath at the time we decided to stay here in England.'
Rebecca furrowed her brow.
'Lakenheath? Where the hell is that?'
'It's sort of up in East Anglia, kind of on the border between Suffolk and Norfolk.'
'That's miles from here. How did you end up down here?'
'It was just a contract that came up,' Sonny paused as he checked his mirror and started to brake slowly, 'after I stopped working for the military I was doing some work in London but I hated that, having to get the tube every day and all that crap.'
The car suddenly leapt forward as Sonny kicked down and accelerated quickly to swerve around a somewhat lethargic cyclist weaving dangerously away from the kerb.
'We'd bought a place down here because this is where most of the work is, then this contract came up and I thought Hell, its close, so I took it. It takes me, like fifteen minutes to drive into work and its all pretty relaxed, a nice easy way of life.'
'Fifteen minutes? I'm not surprised the way you drive!' she noted as Sonny simply grinned. 'Do you all do the same thing, you, Patrick and Adrian?'
He nodded.
'Yeah, pretty much, we all fuck about despite the management.'
They had reached the outskirts of the town and they drove in silence for a while as Sonny concentrated on the remnants of the rush-hour traffic, occasionally muttering an exaggerated
Shit!
as a tail-back started to grow and urging other drivers with an exclamation of Come on man!
'Patrick asked me out earlier.' Rebecca suddenly offered for conversation.
'He asked you out?' Sonny asked, turning his head to her in mild surprise.
'Well, I think so; I kind of had to do the asking for him though,' she laughed.
'Ahhh, well, I guess he really likes you, it's always harder to ask girls out that you really like,' he said philosophically.
'Oh yeah,', she smirked, 'and how would you know? I thought you said you were married? Something you want to admit to?'
Sonny chuckled and held up his left hand, thumbing the wedding band.
'No, no, I'm strictly a one-woman man now, but I was your age too, a few years back now admittedly but I kinda remember it.'
'Were you a
stud
back then?' she chuckled, emphasising the word in a faux Texan accent.
'Hell no, I was always the strong silent type, I guess the girls liked me because I was just so damn cool!'
'How old are you now then?'
'I'm thirty-nine in a couple of weeks time, 20th January,' he paused as he concentrated on negotiating the car in front as it pulled up sharply and attempted to manoeuvre straight into a space between parked cars at the kerb, 'we should try and get a few people out for a drink and maybe go somewhere afterwards.'
'Oh yeah! We can go to a club I know, you lot can all be my
biatches
,' Rebecca enthused.
Sonny laughed at the Jamaican patois and shook his head.
'I only wear a dog collar for one woman!'
They were now approaching the pub and Sonny slowed the car and indicated left, turning sharply as he palmed the steering wheel around and drove into the largely empty car park. Aiming for what he gauged to be a space marked out under the snow, he accelerated sharply and then braked heavily, feeling the car slide to a stop before quickly switching the engine off as he knocked the gear-stick into park in a fluid well practised motion.
'Right, let's go!'
Sonny held the door to the main bar open and let Rebecca enter before him. It had been a good couple of years since the senses could be affronted by the smell of tobacco smoke when entering a pub, the smokers ostracised and barred to the elements outside. Rather, since the law prohibiting smoking in enclosed public places had been passed the previously subtle nuances of the aromas of intoxicating spirits and beers had come to the fore, producing a much more inviting sensory effect.
Rebecca paused at the threshold and looked around. The place was practically empty except for a couple of burly men chatting to the barman and two young office workers playing a slot machine in a corner, looking somewhat bedraggled in their ill-fitting and crumpled suits, the whoops, sirens and bells of the beckoning machine mesmerising them except when they glanced at the door as it swung open, immediately noting Rebecca as she entered.
Wearing a shirt with a collar a couple of sizes too big and his tie at a skewed angle, one of them elbowed his compatriot gawker and nodded in her direction. She could not help but notice their barely disguised attentions, whispering together across the tops of their pints as they broke off from their play and poised their glasses ready for another gulp. Arching the left side of her upper lip into a grimace of exaggerated disgust, she gave a subtle shake of her head and rolled her eyes, displaying her disdain as she turned and walked over to the table where she had spotted Adrian and Patrick sitting.
As she approached she heard Adrian bellowing in good spirits, 'I don't think you're a fish monger at all! I think you've done a plop in the wrong lavatory!' He proceeded to guffaw at his own line but Patrick smiled uncomprehendingly at the joke although he appeared amused by Adrian's obvious delight.
'You've got to see it,' Adrian said, slapping Patrick's arm, 'it is so funny!'
He looked up as Rebecca arrived at his side, Sonny following up a couple of steps behind, a bemused look appearing on his face.
'What kept you? We had to start without you!'
'What?' responded Sonny, looking at his watch. 'Its only ten past ten, you can't call that late! I suppose you're on your second pint already Adrian?'
'Hah!' Patrick snorted, 'I'm still on my first drink, Adrian just gobbles it down!'
'Hey,' wailed Adrian, 'we'll have none of those accusations; I'm a married man!'
'Eh?' exclaimed Patrick, somewhat perplexed. 'What the hell are you talking about?'
'Never mind! German you see?' he noted to Sonny and Rebecca as he nodded at Patrick. 'Anyway, I'm driving back home this evening to the warm bosom of my wife and the surly embrace of my kids, so I don't have to worry about coming into work tomorrow. I can roll straight out of bed into my home office!'
Patrick dragged out a stool from under the table and pushed it toward Rebecca.
'Here, sit down,' he offered.
Adrian stood up and groaned as he stretched.
'I'm going to take a leak and then I'll get your drinks in, what do you want?'
Sonny looked at Rebecca.
'Oh,' she said as she straddled the stool and placed her handbag down, 'I'll have an Archers please!'
'A coke for me thanks Adrian,' Sonny nodded.
'Urghhh,' Adrian gurgled, 'you should have got your missus to drop you off; you could have had a drink then!'
'No, that's fine man, I've been trying to take it easy anyway.'
'Patrick?' Adrian asked as he started to back away.
Patrick shook his head to decline the offer as he took a sip from his drink and Adrian's voice trailed off as he turned to walk toward the bar. He started crooning to himself, launching into the opening lines of 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' before dodging into a side corridor to head to the lavatories, his baritone echoing of the walls of the narrow passage as he disappeared.
Sonny picked up a beer mat and started strumming it against his thigh as he made himself comfortable at the table.
'So what's everyone been up to then?'
'Not much, today has been pretty boring really, nobody seems to be in the office,' sighed Rebecca.
'Yeah, I had a bit of a rush on some documents for Hungary and Czech Republic last week but this morning I was just surfing the web,' Patrick chuckled.
'You been surfing porn again?' Sonny laughed.
'Hey, I was checking the news out, but I admit, I did have a look at YouTube, I was watching some videos about some weird witch thing flying in Mexico.'
Sonny looked incredulous.
'A witch? What the hell are you talking about?'
'They've got this video,' Patrick enthused, 'it looks like a witch riding a broomstick across these hills somewhere in Mexico, then, she lands on the top of one of them and they have a close-up of her and you can see her legs running along before she takes off again.'
'Awww man, that's just bullshit, probably just a bunch of balloons floating about,' Sonny said shaking his head.
'Ohhh, my brother loves stuff like that,' Rebecca said excitedly to Patrick, 'he's really into UFOs and stuff, you'll have to tell him about that when we go back to mine.'
'Whoaahh,' laughed Sonny, 'something you guys aren't telling me?'
'No, doofus,' she mocked, 'we're just going to get a takeaway later and eat it back at mine, don't get too excited!'
She fixed him with a stare and glared at him.
Knowing the conversation that they had had earlier, Sonny winked at Rebecca and turned to Patrick, adopting a fatherly tone.
'Patrick, if you need any advice, you know, about women, just give me a shout, you'll have her eating out of the palm of your hand I promise.'
Patrick laughed as Rebecca spun her beer mat at Sonny and he fumbled to catch it as it cart-wheeled out of his grasp to the floor and rolled to a stop against one of the legs of the adjacent table.
'Watch it Mister, I know where you work!'
'Hey,' Sonny intoned seriously but with a broad smile.
'I can't help it if I know how to charm the ladies; I just want to pass on my knowledge and its all good Karma.'
'Yeah, but that is the kind of Karma that gets girls pregnant!' Rebecca laughed.
Sonny smiled.
'Plenty where that came from babe!'
Adrian's tall frame loomed, and he banged two glasses onto the table.
'Here you go, Archers - Coke - Sorry mate, they didn't have any little umbrellas for you,' he quipped, sliding the drinks across to Rebecca and Sonny and leaving a wet trail from the bottoms of the glasses.
He settled on his stool and made an exaggerated sigh, lifting his glass in a toast.
'Cheers!'
The four friends lifted their glasses and clinked the rims together, Adrian quickly slurping a good mouthful and wiping his upper lip dry with the back of his hand before placing his glass on the table.
'What are we talking about then?'
'Some freaky witch shit,' said Sonny, 'Patrick has spent the morning surfing the web while you were busy working,' he chuckled.
'You bloody skiver!' Adrian blasted with mock affront.
Patrick stifled a guttural laugh and caught his glass to his lips as he tried to swallow a mouthful of beer at the same time.
'God damn! I spent a bit of time on YouTube but I was catching up on the news!' Patrick defended, shaking his head. 'I was trying to work out what is going on with your Prime Minister and all this talk about an election.'
'I shouldn't worry too much about it,' Adrian said, slurping from his glass, 'nobody else does and those politicians are all cheats and liars anyway.'
'Hey!' Rebecca suddenly interjected.
'Sonny, did you see any UFO stuff when you were in the airforce?'
Adrian sat alert.
'Sonny? You were never in the airforce!' he exclaimed. 'Well, maybe the Queen's Own Deserters! Isn't their motto I Surrender? What's that in Latin?'
'Adrian,' Sonny sighed, 'you may recall that we don't have a Queen in the US, we have a President, remember that whole Boston Tea Party thing? No taxation without representation?'
Adrian shook his head derisively.