Sun & Moon - a contemporary romance (The Minstrel Series #1) (28 page)

She hated him for the power that he held over her. And she loved him. She wanted to rip his eyes out with her nails, while at the same time she wished she could kiss him hard on the lips.

She opted for clasping her hands on her lap and staring hard at her wet shoes.

He signaled and steered the Audi back into traffic. When he didn’t say anything, Katja finally asked, “Where are we going?”

Micah’s gaze darted to Katja and then back to the road. “My place.”

She couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice. “You have a place in Berlin?” She added smugly before he could answer, “Daddy got you another job?”

His jaw tightened. “Yup.”

She squirmed at the thought of being alone with Micah in another one of his apartments. “I can’t. I have a gig in an hour.”

“Simone Pellar is opening, so you actually have two hours.”

Katja turned sharply. “Are you stalking me?”

He smirked. “Define stalking.”

“You know what I mean.” She folded her arms in defiance. “Why would I want to go with you to your place?”

“Because it’s warmer. And I’d hoped we could talk.”

She grunted and looked away. “I have nothing to say.”

“Well, I do. Katja. I just can’t leave things the way we parted. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance to explain. Then if you want me to go, to leave you alone forever, I will.”

She rolled her eyes like it didn’t matter to her one way or the other, but in actual fact she was dying to hear what he had to say. Not knowing what had happened between Micah and Greta was like a worm in her mind, constantly wiggling through the mire and mud of her imagination.

They arrived at a modern, upscale apartment building and Micah tapped in a code on a number pad to enter the underground parking place.

Katja left her guitar in the car, knowing she was too far from her gig to walk now, and like it or not, Micah would have to drive her. “It’s safe here, I gather,” she said, noting the security cameras in the corner. Micah nodded.

They entered the elevator and Micah pushed the number ten.

“Wow, tenth floor. The very top. You must have a stunning view.” She was babbling. She didn’t care about the floor or the view. She just felt overwhelmed by the fact that Micah Sturm stood so near her, shoulder to shoulder, facing the door.

“Yes,” he mumbled, “it’s nice.”

It was more than nice. Katja fought to keep her expression blank when she entered and scouted it out, but she was astounded. The apartment was impeccably furnished with all the latest in interior design, with high glass windows overlooking the heart of Berlin. It made the flat she shared with her mother and sister feel once again like a hovel, when ten minutes ago, she was quite proud of what she’d done to make it livable and homey.

“We’re here,” she snapped. “Say what you have to say.”

“Can I get you a drink?”

“I doubt you have anything strong enough to satisfy me at the moment.”

Micah opened a cupboard and removed a bottle of her favorite red wine. He fished out a corkscrew from one of the drawers, opened it and poured her a glass. At her look, he explained, “I’d hoped to bring you here one day.”

He handed it to her, and she worked to keep her hand from quivering as she accepted it. She took a long drink and sat in the nearest chair in the living room. She set the glass down on the table beside her, afraid she might spill. She didn’t need to add to her list of embarrassments.

“So, talk.”

Micah pulled a matching chair closer, until he sat directly in front of her. He propped his elbows on his knees, which were nearly brushing hers, and tented his fingers. Her core temperature skyrocketed when he locked eyes with her. She felt captured, imprisoned. She wanted to flee, but felt helplessly trapped.

“I want to be completely honest with you,” he said, “so some of this will be hard for me to say, and for you to hear.”

Her hands gripped the armrests of her chair as if she were about to take off in a speeding jet plane. She’d never flown anywhere, but she guessed it felt like this: pulse rushing, palms sweating, senses screaming that the elevator floor had dropped out from beneath you.

Micah swallowed, then began, his words pouring out like paint onto the floor. “It’s true that in the beginning of our relationship, yours and mine, I was looking for a way to resolve myself of my sins. Consciously or subconsciously, I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter. I wanted, needed, to atone for losing Greta. I believed she was dead and that it was my fault.

“When I saw her standing there that night, alive, it was like I’d grabbed onto an electric fence and couldn’t let go. She was
alive
. You don’t know what that did to me, to find out once and for all that I wasn’t responsible for another person’s death.

“That should’ve been enough for me. I should’ve left her standing there and followed you into our flat. You don’t know how many times I’ve whipped myself for that.

“But Greta had this miserable hold on me for years. She’s manipulative and cunning and I was a sucker to her charms.”

Katja choked out. “Did they work on you again?”

Micah hesitated. “I could lie and say no, but her tentacles had me bound for a very long time. Even though I knew I should’ve left her immediately, I couldn’t stop myself from following her. I knew I was risking losing you, but I naively thought that you would forgive me. I just had to hear her out.”

He paused to run fingers through his curls, and took in a long breath.

“It wasn’t enough for her to find me. Even though she didn’t want me, she didn’t want to share me. I thought the timing of her arrival to be very coincidental. She eventually revealed to me that she’d been in contact with my mother. She
knew
I was going to ask you to marry me that night.

“I should’ve known by the way she looked at you that her goal was to break us up. She was stronger than I. For that I’ll never forgive myself.

“By the time she finished the convoluted tale of her selfish pursuit of self-discovery in the Swiss Alps, the sun was rising. I knew I’d blown it. Any sliver of affection I’d ever had for her had been ground to dust in the hours it had taken for her to recite her misadventures, and it had blown away into the Elbe.

“The only girl I could think of at that moment was you. You’ve been the only girl on my heart and mind, day and night, since. I’m still chasing a girl, Katja, but this time it’s you. It will always be you.”

Katja reached for her wine glass and finished drinking it in one gulp. Micah raised the bottle off the coffee table and she nodded. He filled it quarter way this time.

“She’s been in Switzerland all this time,” she said, “and never bothered to tell anyone?”

“She impulsively traveled there the night I passed out. She needed to ‘clear her head.’ Then, when she realized there was a manhunt for her, I guess it made her feel special and important. That was when she decided she’d let the legend grow.”

Katja was astounded. “She didn’t care what it was doing to you?”

Micah sighed. “Apparently not. She’d grown tired of me, and didn’t think I’d let her go without a fight. She was probably right about that. Eventually, she did contact her mother, but made her promise not to tell anyone.”

“Why did she contact your mother?”

“Her mother and my mother are friends. When I told my mother I was planning to ask you to marry me, she in turn told Greta’s mother, who told Greta.”

The whole story was just so warped and crazy. Katja rubbed her temples. She had to keep her wits about her, but she felt her defenses slipping. “How long have you been living in Berlin?”

“Two months.”

“Why didn’t you contact me earlier? You know where I live.”

“I didn’t think you were ready to see me.”

She worked the ring in her lip. “Why do you think I’m ready now?”

“You’ve started playing your guitar again.”

Oh, Lord. Micah really did know her.

“I assumed it would be tough for you here,” Micah said, leaning back. “It had to be. I wanted to help you, but I knew you wouldn’t accept cash. You’re stubborn that way.”

She huffed. “I’m not stubborn.”

“Believe me,” he said without smiling. “If there’s one thing you are, Katja, it’s stubborn. At least I was able to help your mother.”

“
You
got Mama that job?”

“She’s proven to be an excellent worker.”

Katja shook her head. Why was she not surprised? “So, if I move to Frankfurt, are you going to move there, too?”

Micah’s eyes darkened. “No. As I told you when I picked you up tonight. If you want me to go away, I will.”

Katja’s heart stammered, and her mouth grew dry. Her mind and emotions were like a ball rolling out of control down a hill.

“I’m going to be late for my gig,” she said quietly.

Micah gathered his keys. “I’ll take you.”

Katja could barely think straight. Her heart hammered in her chest during the whole ride to the club, and she couldn’t come up with one word to say to Micah. She’d spent every waking moment, and most of her sleeping ones, working hard to forget Micah. Not to forgive him. And yet, here he was asking her to do just that.

Micah parked and reached for Katja’s guitar before she could retrieve it. “I’ll carry it for you.”

She remembered all the other times Micah had carried her guitar for her, how he proudly proclaimed himself to be her groupie, and her heart softened a little.

“Are you coming in?” she asked when they reached the door.

“I’d like that,” he said, “a lot.”

They entered the darkened room in time to catch the last song of Simone’s set. The stage lights had a blue lens that cast a cool hue into the audience, making everyone’s face look whiter than normal. Matthias was there, and he rushed to her side when the song ended. “Where were you?” His ghostly expression chastised her. “I thought you said you’d be here for Simone.”

“I meant to. I just… ran into someone.”

Matthias’s gaze moved to Micah and to Katja’s guitar case in his hand. His eyes narrowed. “That’s not the jerk who dumped you on your engagement night for his old girlfriend, is it?”

“Matthias!”

Micah held out his hand. “It is, actually. I’m Micah.”

Matthias’s face twisted in disbelief. “Excuse me if I don’t shake your hand.”

Katja groaned.

Matthias wasn’t finished. “Do you want me to show him out?”

Did she? Matthias and Micah bore down on each other like two cocks wanting the same hen. Only one of them had claimed her heart. Only one of them still did.

“No.” She sighed. “He can stay.”

Matthias shrugged on his jacket. “Fine.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay.” He stuck his fists in his pockets. “It’s your call.”

Katja watched him as he headed for the door. He was stopped by friends before he had a chance to leave, and she hoped he’d change his mind and stay for her set.

“I like him,” Micah said with a grin.

“I don’t think he likes you.”

“He cares about you. We have that in common.”

The host motioned for Katja to get ready. When Katja had left her apartment that evening, she never in a million years imagined that the night would’ve gone like this. That Micah would be sitting in the room, and not at the back this time, but at a table front and center, watching her play.

She spoke with the manager of the bar and the guy who helped with the sound. She reviewed her set list. A song was missing. She knew how to end it now. Quickly, she took her new lyric notebook from her bag. She remembered the words of the song by heart, but quickly scribbled out the lyrics to the third verse. She smiled. It was finished now.

She waited for her introduction, then entered the spotlight on the small stage. She never felt alone when she had her guitar nuzzled against her belly. They were a team, and they could conquer any giant together. Including this one.

“Thank you,” she said as the welcoming applause faded. She ran through her set, sticking with covers and a few new songs that didn’t have anything to do with love, and telling humorous stories in between. She was good at what she did, and she quickly had the crowd engaged and listening to her every word.