Summertime Death (35 page)

The immigrant lads.

Karin Johannison not yet done with her examination of the dildo. But there’s a high probability that it matches the one used in the crimes, so maybe they’ll be able to take the day off tomorrow.

The lesbian line of inquiry.

A wicked man in Finspång. Where does this woman to woman love lead?

Slavenca Visnic. The kiosks. And the water.

The water.

Tomorrow will bring with it the hypnosis of Josefin Davidsson. Malin called Viveka Crafoord on her way home from their meeting with Svea Svensson, told her that they’d have to put it off, and Viveka had sounded disappointed, saying: ‘I think I can get something out of her, get her to talk.’

The road signs with numbers saying how great the distance between grief and longing is, how far it is until the distance is wiped out and only time remains.

Nyköping thirty-two.

Seventeen.

Skavsta.

Should I have brought Markus?

It didn’t even occur to me.

And Malin parks, goes into the arrivals hall, white beams seeming to float high up under a curved ceiling, a bare room full of peculiar dreams.

The clock on the wall says quarter past ten.

The plane is due in on time.

In two and a half hours the presence of love will replace grief, longing.

She’ll soon be there, Malin, your Tove.

We were up with her and Janne just now, and they were both asleep, exhausted by the long journey, by everything they have experienced.

They were both smiling.

It was a happy moment, just like you will be experiencing soon.

And us?

Sofia and I. We’re drifting somewhere below the ceiling of the arrivals hall, watching you and thinking that maybe it would be better if you were concentrating on us, on what has happened, instead of concentrating on your own nearest and dearest.

At least that’s what we’d like.

Worrying about your own concerns doesn’t disappear where we are. But it’s different, it encompasses more, it’s as if it encompasses everything that is or has been or ever will be.

Worrying about your own concerns becomes consideration for everyone.

Sofia and I are one and the same here. We are Josefin, Tove, and you. We are all girls and all who have been girls. But we’re boys as well.

Does that sound odd?

I can understand that, Malin. It’s all very strange, actually.

Where should you start?

Start with your nearest and dearest.

But who wouldn’t choose love, if the choice were between it and violence?

Can you hear me, Malin?

This is Sofia Fredén.

My mum and dad are sad, so sad, their sadness can never even be replaced by longing. Unless it can, if only time is allowed to pass? Now they’re sitting on the sofa in their flat in Mjölby. The television is on but they can’t see what’s on the screen.

Their eyes are full of tears.

And they’re crying for me, Malin.

You can do so much, Malin.

You can make their tears stop. Or at least take a different path.

Just take a brief moment to catch your breath before pressing on.

Tove is holding her dad’s hand, the pressure in her ears is giving her a headache as, metre by metre, the plane descends towards the runway, the lights of the houses in the forests outside the windows are growing, a strip of brightness is still lingering on the horizon and Tove wonders if the world is disappearing over there, but knows that it carries on for an eternity, that life on this planet is a vast cyclical motion, no matter what anyone might say.

Mum.

I’ve missed her.

A vibration in the plane as the wheels touch the tarmac. Lights from the hangars.

Dad squeezing my hand.

I wonder if she brought Markus?

I haven’t really missed him much. What does that mean?

‘Back on Swedish soil!’ Dad says, and he looks happy. ‘Now to see if your mum’s made it on time, or if she’s still at work.’

Their bags.

Janne hates this part of travelling.

But there they are. Almost the first ones to appear, nothing got held up in the transfer between Heathrow and Stansted.

Their baggage.

Everything as it should be.

‘Come on, Tove.’

It’s nice to come home.

Malin stares at the automatic doors.

Taps her sandal-clad feet on the white stone floor, around her she can see happy people, expectant, focused.

She runs her hands over her dress, pushes her hair behind her ears, feels that she needs to go to the toilet but doesn’t want to go off now, the plane landed a while back and they should be here.

Now.

And the door opens once more.

There.

There they are, and she goes towards them, running, and she can see that they’re tired, but when Tove catches sight of her the tiredness disappears and Tove runs towards her and Malin runs and the air lifts and their bodies meet.

Hands, arms around each other.

Malin picks her daughter up.

How much do you weigh now?

Three thousand, one hundred and forty-three grams when you emerged from me.

And now?

Malin looks at Janne.

He’s standing behind the luggage trolley, seems unsure of what to do now. Malin puts Tove down, beckons him over and then they stand in the arrivals hall, feeling a warmth warmer and more genuine than any summer could ever conjure up.

On the way towards the final room

I haven’t finished yet.

I know what needs to happen now.

Nothing can stop this summer from burning, nothing can stop our love from coming back.

The world, our world, will be pure and free and we shall whisper the mute snakes’ words in each other’s ears, feel how they make us big, invincible.

He must disappear, be wiped out, and you will dare to come back again.

Everything will be white. Burning white, and innocent.

No one will be allowed to stop me.

Claws scratching storeroom shelves, spiders’ legs moving over your face.

My summer angels.

They can rest now, and soon they’ll have the company and love of someone who shares their history. And the very same love that I shall also receive.

I shall find another girl. She will be you.

Everything will be put right. It won’t hurt. Because soon there will be no pain any more.

Tove safely returned.

She’s sleeping under a freshly laundered white sheet in her bedroom and Malin thinks that it’s as if she’s never been away, as if Indonesia and Bali and bombers and undercurrents and the other side of the world have stopped existing, even as a possibility.

A mute drive from Nyköping, Tove sleeping in the back seat, she and Janne united in an eternal wordlessness, a silence that never becomes uncomfortable, but which feels more lonely that real loneliness.

Intermittent words.

‘Did you have a good time?’

‘Are the forest fires under control?’

‘It’s starting to resemble a firestorm in places.’

Janne came upstairs with them, carrying Tove’s large green Samsonite case, Malin offered him tea and to her surprise he accepted, said he could ring for a taxi home whenever he felt like it.

Tove had dropped off before the water had boiled and they drank their tea in the kitchen, as the sound of a man and woman arguing rose from the street, and once they had fallen silent the only sound was the ticking of the Ikea clock.

Just gone half past three now.

‘We were never good at that,’ Janne says as he puts his empty mug on the draining board.

‘Good at what?’

Malin is standing as close as she dares, doesn’t want to scare him off.

‘At arguing.’

Malin can feel anger rising up inside her, but suppresses the pointless emotion and manages to locate her calm, her longing again.

‘Sometimes it feels like we never had time to really get started.’

‘Maybe we didn’t.’

‘It’s probably good to do a bit of shouting every now and then.’

‘You think?’

‘What do you think?’

‘I don’t know what to think.’

Then Malin tells him about the case she’s working on, that she feels like heaven or earth has opened up and released a desperate evil on the city, and that she doesn’t know how to stop it.

‘Just like the fires,’ Janne says. ‘It seems like they don’t know how to get to grips with the flames.’

Then they stand silently in the kitchen for a while before Janne moves out into the hall.

‘Do you mind if I call for a taxi?’

‘Go ahead.’

Janne picks up the receiver.

Malin goes towards him in the hall, and as he keys in the number of the taxi company she says: ‘You can stay here.’

Janne stops.

‘I prefer my own bed to your sofa, Malin.’

‘You know that’s not what I meant.’

‘You know it wouldn’t work, Malin.’

‘Why wouldn’t it work? Just go into the bedroom and lie down, it’s no harder than that.’

‘It’s stupid, Malin, what good would come of it? We’re all done with . . .’

Malin puts one index finger over his lips and his breath is warm against her skin.

Close to him now.

‘Shush, don’t say anything else. Can’t we just let tonight be tonight?’

Janne looks at her, and she takes his hand and leads him into the bedroom and he follows her without any further hesitation.

Hard or soft.

Punishment or reward.

That’s what physical love can be.

Janne’s chest against hers, one of her legs wrapped around his body and it was so long ago now, but she remembers exactly how his cock feels inside her, how it takes her over and how her body’s independent recognition makes her calm and feverish, knowing exactly how to move to be filled in a way that no one else fills her.

Drops of liquid merging into one.

Is that you or me breathing?

She shuts her eyes, then opens them and sees that Janne’s eyes are shut, as if they’re both trying to make their bodies believe that if they don’t look at each other, then this isn’t happening.

And they’re young again, far too young again, and a thin piece of rubber breaks and you are formed, Tove. Malin keeps her eyes on Janne, the lower half of her body is squirming, heating up with a pain that’s more pleasant than anything else she knows.

Awareness catches up with your body over the years.

The distance between feelings and thoughts of feelings disappears.

She lies back.

Soundlessly and heavy he follows her and her hands search his back, every square centimetre of skin a memory.

She lets go.

Becomes a woken child sleeping on its back with its arms above its head.

Come back to me now.

This is love.

Promise not to disappear again.

There you lie, dear Malin.

In the dawn light I see your lips twitch, you’re dreaming, aren’t you?

I’ve just pulled the sheet up over your body.

We won’t speak about this tomorrow, or any other day. We’ll pretend it never happened.

Goodbye, Malin.

Janne leaves the flat, but first he takes Malin’s car keys from the chest of drawers in the hall. Goes down to the street.

He opens the boot, takes out his case. Goes back upstairs and puts the keys back where he found them.

The dawn is warm, and the grey stone of the church seems to vibrate in the thin blue light of the rising sun.

A faint smell of smoke, hardly noticeable even to his trained nose.

He heads towards the station. Pulling his case behind him.

At the station he changes into his protective clothing and goes with the first engine up to the forest, to the fire, heading straight into the heat and fighting the inferno.

Daniel Högfeldt happened to see Janne, Malin’s ex-husband, come out of the door of the building where she lives.

A particular rhythm in his walk.

Daniel was on his way to the newsroom, early. He’d woken up in the middle of the night and been unable to get back to sleep.

Now he’s sitting at his desk and thinking about the rhythm in Janne’s movements, the way they exuded a softness and, oddly enough, love.

I can never compete with that, Daniel thinks, opening a new document on his computer and tossing the heap of articles linked by the word ‘rape’ into the waste-paper basket.

Can’t be bothered to do anything with them.

Can’t be bothered even to sit here.

I have to, Daniel thinks, fumbling his way back to feeling bothered, finding it again.

And being bothered is not going to happen if he concentrates on the history of violent sexual assaults in Linköping. Someone else can do that. Maybe you, Malin?

Last night’s dream.

A boy by her bed crying Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, help me breathe.

She cried back.

Can’t you breathe?

The boy replied.

No, help me, Mummy.

I’m not your mummy.

You are my mummy. Aren’t you?

No.

Help me breathe.

Why?

Because I’m your brother.

Can’t you breathe?

No. You have to show me how.

‘It’s so hot. Has it been like this all the time?’

Tove is drooping over a bowl of soured milk and cornflakes at the breakfast table. Malin is over by the sink, drinking her third mug of coffee, getting ready to force herself to eat a sandwich.

‘It’s been horribly hot, Tove. And they just said on television that it’s going to carry on like this.’

‘Great. Then I can go swimming.’

‘With Markus?’

‘With him, or a friend.’

‘You have to tell me who you’re going swimming with.’

‘Can’t I go swimming with who I want?’