Summer's Temptation (20 page)

As laid back as he seems to be, I could see that. We go quiet again, and it feels like one of those moments where I’m supposed to share something equally as meaningful. The problem is, I don’t want to. I’m afraid divulging my inner workings to him might make me want things I can’t have.

He plants his hat on his head and sighs. One hand reaches for the porch railing, and I know I’m going to lose the chance to be with an incredible guy. I can’t let him go without trying to make him understand why I won’t risk being with him. Even if it means doing exactly what I don’t want to—revealing a piece of myself.

I grab his arm just before he stands. “Aiden?”

He tilts his head toward me, a glimmer of hope lighting his face, and settles down next to me. “Yes, Cassie?”

“I’m with Tyler because he’s not someone I could ever fall in love with. Does that make sense?”

He studies me, mulling over my words. “And me?”

I nibble on my bottom lip, still clutching his arm. “I think you’re dangerous.”

His eyes go straight to my mouth, and something in their depths shifts. I don’t understand the change until he leans toward me and snakes his hand around my neck. He pulls me toward him. No invitation. No niceties. Just his lips on mine, hot and firm, as though he knows this will be our only kiss and doesn’t want to waste it.

Chapter 19

I
shouldn’t kiss Aiden back—there’s no future for us, and I don’t want to lead him on—but I can’t stop my lips from moving against his. His tongue coaxes my mouth open. I don’t fight him. He tastes of something sweet, like butterscotch. When he deepens the kiss, his tongue diving past my lips, all I can do is moan and twist my hands into the wool of his sweater vest, pressing him flush against me.

A hundred times, I’ve imagined this moment. In bed at night, I’ve closed my eyes and pictured my fingers threading through his curly dark hair, our bodies so close that not even a slip of paper could shimmy between us. I explored him with fingers, lips, and sliding limbs. He was a fire that threatened to engulf me, and all I wanted was to let him burn me. But now that his touch is real, I realize what’s happening isn’t a fire. It’s barely a flame.

He’s perfect
, I tell myself, my lips still moving against his.
This kiss is perfect.
So perfect, it’s all wrong. How that’s possible, I don’t know, but a truth can only be denied so long. I push gently against his chest, wanting to sever the kiss kindly.

Aiden must not notice the pressure of my palms. He kisses me harder, hands cupped around my neck. My breathing grows erratic, and not from passion. I can’t stop wishing he were Tyler. When Tyler kisses me, it’s like he’s pouring his soul into my body and demanding I surrender my soul in return. I hadn’t realized how much emotion Tyler had emptied into me until now. If Aiden’s the moon, cool and reserved, Tyler’s the sun, hot and explosive. I never knew how much I craved the heat from my sun.

I push against Aiden’s chest again, determined to end the kiss. At the same time, a clang sounds behind us, like the pinging of metal on glass. It’s not very loud, but given the silence of the night, it might as well be a detonating bottle rocket. Aiden jerks so hard, his teeth clack against mine. He pulls away and stares at me, his expression nothing short of dazed. The way he watches me makes me question if the kiss seemed like a blaze to him.

I blink the thought away and peer up at Liz’s window, the only one that overlooks the porch. The blinds are drawn tight, the lights off, but the noise came from her room. Since there’s only one person in the house, that can only mean Tyler was watching.

Will he be mad? Seems like an obvious answer. What man wouldn’t be angry, watching a girl who’s supposed to be with him, kiss another man? They’re all so territorial.

He has no right to be angry, but I can’t help wondering if I’d be upset in his shoes. I imagine Tyler and me getting hot and bothered on his bed. A pretty girl knocks on his door. He shoves me aside to talk to her and ends up kissing her on the porch. My breath catches at the thought. I’d be jealous as hell, but underneath the ice filling my veins is something else. An emotion I’ve been denying for far too long. I wouldn’t
just
be jealous—I’d be heartbroken. Tyler belongs to me, and I belong to him.

“You didn’t want that,” Aiden says.

I startle at his voice, lost in an epiphany that’s been a long time coming. I want to pick apart my emotions and figure out how Tyler tunneled into my heart, but now’s not the time. After a few deep breaths, I answer, “I thought I did.”

“I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry,” he whispers. “When you chew on your bottom lip, it makes me a little unstable.”

We sit for a minute while I compose my emotions. I see his hat has fallen to the step below my feet, and I grab the fedora with a shaky hand.

“I guess I mucked up the whole friendship thing,” he says.

“Did you really come here for a friendship, Aiden?”

He raises his gaze to mine and regards me with too much emotion for the short time we’ve known each other. “My father asked my mum out every week for a year. It wasn’t until he resigned himself to being her friend that she finally succumbed to his charms. I thought I’d go straight for the friendship and see what happened. Obviously, I need practice holding back.” He seems to be going for an impish grin, only it comes across as sad. “Care to allow me another try?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Not when I’m falling for the boy inside.

He takes his fedora and, in a quiet voice, says, “Yes, well, I was afraid of that.”

I press my fingers to my swollen lips and watch him stand, my mind a whirl of emotions. I want to tell him, “Don’t go, not like this. Maybe we can be friends.” I push my fingertips harder to the seam of my mouth to keep from uttering the words. I don’t have the energy to sort out two relationships in one night, and Tyler takes precedence.

Aiden smooths his hat and places it on his head. It’s slightly tilted to one side in an endearing way that would have made me swoon before our kiss. He bows slightly. “If you ever get tired of your… pseudo-boyfriend, I’ll be here.” Somehow he manages to smile through his pained expression. With a tip of his hat and a glance at the front door, he walks toward the silver Audi parked on the street and disappears inside.

When the engine turns over and the car purrs to life, a feeling of doom fills my tummy. I’m falling for Tyler Mason. It’s the nightmare Hannah warned me about. Deep down, I’d known it was a possibility. Tyler intrigues me in ways no other man has, but I’d thought the rules would keep my heart from becoming involved.

God, I’m stupid sometimes. Once bitten, twice shy, right? I need a violent mauling to learn my lesson, and maybe Tyler’s the one to do it.

I tilt my head toward the door, imaging Tyler sprawled on the couch, waiting for me with a whipped cream can clenched in his hand and a cocky smile. Or maybe he’s mad that I kissed Aiden. Then he’d probably scowl and point the can accusingly.

“I can’t do this,” I mutter. I hate myself, hate Wyatt, even hate Tyler for stealing my heart when I wasn’t looking. I don’t want him. I don’t want anyone. I want to yell my indifference down the street. Maybe that will somehow make it true.

As Aiden’s car pulls away from the curb and drives into the night, I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair. If I’m going to date again, it should be with someone like Aiden. Tyler’s the last guy I’d ever willingly give my heart to. I’ve never dated a player because they’d eat me alive.

Tyler wouldn’t just eat me up; he’d gnaw on my bones until nothing was left. He can’t be tamed. I know that. Everyone on campus knows that. Even if he does care about me, it won’t last. A prettier girl will come along who he won’t be able to resist. I can’t even hate him for it. It’s just how he is.

My stomach knots at the thought of losing him, but I have to tell him about my feelings. If we can’t find a way around them, this thing between us is over. Drawing my robe together, I stand and head inside. I expect to find Tyler on the couch, flipping through TV channels as if he hadn’t been snooping, but the living room’s empty.

“Tyler?”

Nothing but quiet greets me. Has he already left? I should feel bad if he has, but it’d be a relief to sleep on my emotions and hopefully see them in a new light in the morning. I shut the door and listen for him. Footsteps sound in the hallway to the bedrooms. Tyler turns the corner and stops beside the TV. Wearing only jeans, he crosses his arms, biceps bulging, and widens his stance as if he’s readying for a physical fight.

His nostrils flare as he stares at my mouth. We’re both silent. If it weren’t for the rhythmic rise and fall of his arms over his chest as he breathes, he’d be a perfect statue of masculinity. Strong. Virile. Angry.

“Tyler…” The house is as still as a tomb, and my voice pierces the quiet like a knife. “We need to talk.”

“Damn straight.” His nostrils flare wider, and the sharp line of his jawbone turns into a finely honed blade that looks capable of cutting through skin. “That was the teacher who asked you out?”

I nod.

The chiseled muscles of his shoulders go concave as they tense. “I take it I’m not enough to keep you from going out with him?” His tone’s pissed but laced with hurt. He wants to be enough. He cares.

We. Are. So. Screwed.

I step toward him, palms out in a submissive gesture I hope he takes as
I’m sorry
. “No, that’s not true.”

He steps back as though he can’t stomach being close to me. “So what is it then? You make out with Mr. Conservative and expect to come back in and fuck me? That’s real classy.”

“I didn’t want to kiss him.”

His jaw contracts so tightly, the muscle below his ear ticks. “That’s not what it looked like to me.”

I have no idea what he saw, but he obviously shut the blinds before the kiss ended. I need him to understand it wasn’t mutual, that he’s the only guy I want to kiss. “I ended the kiss, Tyler. I realized—”

Tyler pounds the wall with his fist. My confession gets caught in my throat, and I jerk away from him, plastering my back to the door. Never have I seen him so angry. I don’t know if I should be scared for my safety or worried he won’t listen long enough to hear my side.

Tyler lowers his hand, clenching and unclenching his fist. He draws in a deep breath as though he’s trying to regain control, but the fury in his gaze doesn’t abate. “Why, Cassie? Why did you stop him? Did you remember you left me in here with a raging boner? Were you afraid he wouldn’t be as big as me? Not as fun of a ride?” With each question, his voice grows louder. “Did you think he might actually want more than a fuck and that scared you shitless? Or are you planning on calling him after I leave?”

He’s shouting so loud, I cringe and clutch at the doorknob, fighting the urge to tear the door open and run. “It was a mistake. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“A mistake?” he growls. “You were practically sitting in his lap. I’m surprised you didn’t rip your robe open.” He spreads his arms wide. “Maybe you could have given
me
and all our
neighbors
a show, for Christ’s sake!” Sneering, he marches toward the bedroom hallway, the muscles of his back bunched hard.

As I watch him go, I draw the fabric of my robe tightly around myself. His words make me feel cheap. “I am not a whore,” I whisper to an empty room.

He has no right to make me feel like one because of one mistake that was only a kiss. A low boil of anger surges through my veins that quickly grows into a roiling fury. Who is he to judge me? He doesn’t care about me. I was stupid to think he might. He’s proving he’s an egotistical jerk with his angry outburst. I’ve deflated his self-esteem by kissing another guy, and I’m positive he’s furious a woman might choose someone else over him. But that’s beyond hypocritical. The only reason he’s here and not fucking another girl is because I’m so damn convenient.

I stomp after him. “For someone who called me innocent, you sure think I’m a skank.”

He stops in my bedroom and yanks his T-shirt on then crams his feet into his runners. “You’re worse than the random girls I fuck, Cassie. At least they have the decency to wait until we’re done before they chase someone else.”

I barely move in time as he storms into the hall. “Do you have a direct line inside my head? Because if not, you have no idea what went on out there,” I bark, pointing toward the front porch.

He strides through the kitchen toward the back door. “Save it.”

I reach for him, but he sidesteps me. Lunging forward, I grab his shoulder. “We need to talk!”

He shrugs my hand off and opens the back door. “We’re done.”

“Where are you going?”

“The bars. Maybe I’ll find a gem of a girl who won’t stick her tongue down another guy’s throat
when she’s supposed to be with me
!” With that, he slams the door.

I’m left on the other side wondering what the hell just happened.

Chapter 20

I
sniffle, sitting on the couch and staring at a blank TV screen. Tyler’s been gone for thirty minutes, and once my anger dissolved, the tears started. I’m blubbering like an idiot, just like I did over Jeremy and Wyatt.

Am I ever going to learn boys are bad? Or maybe they’re not. Maybe I have a sign on my chest that says,
Here’s my heart; break it, please.
The boys in Texas are so full of Southern chivalry, they have to oblige.

I stifle a sob and dab at my swollen eyes with a tissue. What a mess. Hannah tried to tell me this would end in disaster. If only I’d been smart enough to listen.

I glance at my phone, willing Tyler to call. He doesn’t. Phoning him goes against everything I’ve read about the power play in relationships, but technically, this isn’t a relationship, so to hell with it. I dial his number. It rings. And rings. And rings. When voice mail answers, I ask him to call me and hang up. I haven’t fallen to the level of groveling yet.

With nothing to do but wait, I thump my foot against the floor, counting the passing seconds until my toes get tired. I glance at my phone. Texting doesn’t count for pleading. Right?

My fingers get to work tapping out a message.
Can we please talk?

Nothing.

I didn’t want to kiss him. Please come back.

Nothing.

I tried to push him away, but he had his hands wrapped around the back of my neck and I couldn’t budge him.

Nothing.

And then something hit the window and he finally backed off.

Nothing.

I ponder the last text, realizing I never figured out where the noise came from. After I drop the cell on the coffee table and swipe tears from my cheeks, I drag my heavy body from the couch to Liz’s room. I don’t even have to turn the lamp on to see what caused the loud ping. Lying beside the baseboard under the window is the can of whipped cream that was supposed to be the star in our night of frantic thank-you sex. As I stare at it, I think back to something Hannah told me a few weeks ago.

She wiggled her eyebrows and said, “Dylan thinks Tyler has a secret girlfriend.” When I asked what made him think that, she replied, “He hasn’t brought a girl into his room in over a month.”

With all the time we’ve spent together, I guess I wasn’t surprised to learn I was his go-to girl, but it still gave me a thrill that sex with me was enough to keep him satisfied.

Tonight, that might change, and it makes me sick to think about him with another girl.

I grab the can and glare at it. Outside, I hear the low bass of guys talking. One of them has Tyler’s distinctive unhurried drawl. I slide apart two blind-slats and watch Josh and Tyler jump into Tyler’s pickup. They’re heading to the bars to pick up girls. I know it.

I step away from the window, fighting the urge to storm out there and make him listen to me. I don’t know what I’d tell him. That I care about him? That I want to be with him? The idea of Tyler and me in a relationship is absurd. We belong together like oil and water.

Doors slam shut, and Tyler’s motor revs. The engine rumbles as he backs up, then gears shift, and I listen to the rumbling fade away. With it goes a small piece of my heart I hadn’t meant to set free.

I take a deep breath and clench and unclench my fists to relieve the tension coursing through my body. I learned that trick after Wyatt dumped me. I remind myself that this is different from Wyatt. Tyler never bought me a perfect ring or promised me forever. Even though it hurts, this isn’t a betrayal. After a few more deep breaths, I head into the living room and pick up my cell.

When my sister answers, I say, “I’ll be home around midnight.” No point in staying here and dwelling on a boy I can’t have.

Sunday afternoon, after four days with my family, I come back to Lakewater. I’ve learned my childhood home is not always a better place to brood, and after moping around my parents’ house listening to my sister drone on about how great her boyfriend is, I decided to come back to school. Sometimes sulking is more therapeutic alone.

When I pull into my driveway, I note Tyler’s pickup is parked outside his house beside Hannah’s car. All weekend, I kept my cell close, hoping for a call. He never phoned or acknowledged the texts I left him. I hate that Tyler’s reduced me to a pining girl, but that doesn’t stop me from pulling up close to the garage so that my car’s in line with his living room window. While I park, I peek toward their house. The blinds are open, but the sun’s shining too bright for me to tell if anyone’s inside.

My phone rings, and I fumble for it, trying to see who’s calling.
Please be Tyler.
When I have it firmly in my grasp, I glance at the screen.
Dylan.
Maybe Tyler borrowed his cell.

Before I can even say hello, Hannah says, “I need to talk to you.”

I mask my disappointment with a cheery voice. “Well, hello to you too.”

“Sorry. I just saw your car and wanted to catch you before Dylan and I head out. Can we talk tonight?”

I reach over to the passenger seat and grab my purse. “We can talk right now.”

She hesitates. “I don’t want anyone overhearing.”

“Come over.”

“Can’t. I’m heading to a baseball game.”

In the background, I hear Dylan say, “Get that sweet ass out the door.”

I peer at their porch and see the door opening. Dylan steps out, Hannah behind him. He scowls when she waves at me, and his frown grows broader when she runs toward my car.

“Hannah! We’re gonna be late!” he calls.

“One second!” She skids to a stop beside my car as I’m getting out. “I’ll come over after the game.”

“It’s Sunday night. I’m going to the lake.” I slam the door shut and pivot toward her.

She peers over her shoulder at Dylan. “What time will you be back?”

“Ten-thirtyish.”

“Hannah!” Dylan yells.

She turns to me, and I notice worry has replaced her normal jolliness. “I’ll be over at eleven.”

“What’s so important?”

Her long blond hair whips in her face as she spins around and darts toward Dylan. He’s holding the passenger door to his SUV open and tapping his foot.

“I’ll tell you later,” she yells.

I shake my head, watching her go. Something must be eating at her because nothing comes between Dylan and his baseball games, not even her. For a split second, I wonder if it’s about Tyler, but I push aside the thought nearly as fast as it enters my brain. Hannah’s done her best to ignore my relationship with him. I’m not sure why that’d change now.

Maybe she got engaged? I peer at her left hand. Her fingers are mostly a blur as she runs, but I make out her normal silver ring signifying her celibacy until marriage. If she is engaged, Dylan forgot to get her a diamond, which I seriously doubt would fly with Hannah. I shrug and stroll to the back of my car for my suitcase. I need to unpack, eat dinner, and find out exactly how mad Tyler is at me.

A little before eight, I grab my telescope case and head outside, taking my sweet time strolling to the car in hopes that Tyler will see me. The sun’s no longer overhead, and if I tilt my head at the perfect angle, I could see into Tyler’s house, but I refrain, refusing to look desperate. After loading the telescope into the trunk, I remember I forgot my blanket. Well darn.

A minute later, I amble toward my trunk with a folded blanket beneath my arm. I tuck it next to the telescope and shut the trunk. Jeeze, it’s hot out here. I wipe sweat from my brow and decide I need a bottle of ice-cold water to take with me.

I mosey back inside, hurry to fill a bottle, and meander back to my car. After I place the water in the cup holder, I conveniently remember I left my duffel in the entrance. Another trip inside? Oh, drat. After two more trips to retrieve forgotten items, I decide if Tyler hasn’t seen me yet, I’m shit out of luck.

While I lock the front door, I tilt my head as subtly as possible and peer into his window. All I see is the shoulder of someone sitting on the couch. Could be Tyler or Josh. With a sigh, I take off for my car.

I finally pull out of the driveway, and halfway down the road, I look into the rearview mirror, hoping to see Tyler following me. The street’s quiet. There’s no sign of him, but I don’t lose hope. He knows the way. Maybe he’ll show up later.

A half-hour after I arrive at the lake, he’s still not here. The sun’s about to set, and I haven’t bothered to open my telescope. I should leave. I only came in hopes that Tyler and I could talk. I can’t help but wonder if his absence means that he hooked up with another girl and anything real between us is over. It’s for the best, I tell myself, even though it doesn’t feel like it. If I tried to turn Tyler into a boyfriend, he’d probably run for the hills or worse. Maybe he’d humiliate me the way he did when I asked him to be my fuck buddy. Even if he agreed to a relationship, which is highly doubtful, we’d probably last as long as a Hollywood affair. Any girl who falls for a player is in for a heaping serving of
hurt
. The sooner that sinks in, the better.

Gazing toward the deer trail, I try to decide if I should leave or not. It’s peaceful out here, warm and relaxing. If I head home, I’ll just dwell on Tyler between four walls. Though he might be next door, he’s still out of reach. I’d rather dwell on him out here, with a breeze to cool my skin and frogs croaking on the shore.

I rise from the blanket, deciding to dip my toes in the water for a few moments. To the east of the meadow is a rock ledge jutting out over the lake, the perfect place to sit. I take off my shoes, ball up my socks, and shove them inside the sneakers, then walk on the grass toward the lake. The sandstone ledge is warm against my soles, and I settle down, placing one foot at a time into the cool water. While sitting there, my thoughts go back to Tyler. As much as he’d overreacted the last time I stargazed alone, I really thought he’d come tonight. So much for him worrying about my safety. Now I’m worried we’ll never talk about what happened Wednesday night.

I can’t help wanting to explain myself. I don’t know what telling him the kiss with Aiden had been a mistake would accomplish. Maybe it’d make him less angry with me. Maybe I want him to know I care about him so we can end this relationship amicably. If he holds a grudge and avoids me for the next year, I’ll be devastated, which is strange. All I want is for Wyatt to fall off the face of the earth, but I’d rather shrivel up like an aged leather bag than go without seeing Tyler’s cocky grin for more than a day.

Seeking calmness amidst the chaos of my mind, I repeatedly lift my feet from the lake, letting the water slide between my toes. The dripping noise as the water rains down is soothing—not relaxing enough to clear my mind, but tranquil enough to take the edge off my sore emotions.

I lean back on my hands and tilt my head toward the sky. My face catches the last rays of sun while I listen to nature. Frogs serenade each other. Trees sway in the evening breeze. Birds sing their last song of the day. Over the pleasant din is a cicada that’s ruining the serenity with its insistent chirping.

The noise reminds me of a hyperactive toddler with a pair of maracas. I tilt my head further back to gaze at the tree limbs. Where is the annoying bugger? I’m not usually one for messing with wildlife, but this creature’s getting on my last nerve. Maybe there’re a dozen cicadas going off at once, but I doubt they’d be able to sing in such perfect unison.

In an effort to flush out the culprit, I swivel my head from side to side. Movement in my peripheral catches my attention. Only a foot away, I catch a glimpse of something brown and coiled. In an instant, I know the sound isn’t coming from a cicada.

Rattlesnake.

My heart threatens to pound from my chest as I jump up. My feet land on the rock with a loud thud. The snake jerks, probably startled by my sudden movement. My frightened reaction is the stupidest evasive maneuver I could make, but I realize that too late.

The viper’s triangular head strikes.