Authors: Jean Ure
Anything but a thicko! Ha ha. All the dorks and drivellers gang up against her, so I might kind of cultivate her and see what happens. Just out of interest. I certainly don’t want her as a friend! Don’t want ANYONE as a friend. I can manage on my own, I can! I don’t need anyone. So I might not bother. I’ll think about it.
Thinks …
I s’ppose it might give me something to do. Take away some of the boredom. WHILE I’M THERE. She hangs out with this girl that’s a real slimeball. A right maggot mouth. But that’s no problem! I can deal with her. She’s just scum, like all the rest of them. Old Matchsticks has at least got a brain; sort of person
I could do something with. P’raps I’ll give it a go. See what happens. If she’s not interesting, I can always drop her.
The creep that takes English said to write an essay on My Family. What a stupid subject! My mum’s a vampire. She sucks blood…yeah, and my dad’s the invisible man!
One term. That’s all I give it. After that – who knows? Maybe they’ll just give up on me. Save us all a lot of grief.
Gonna write my essay now, about the vampire. Har har!
On my way into school next morning, I was ambushed by Brett Thomas. He must have seen me coming and laid in wait, cos he sprang out from behind a tree as I walked into the playground. It was quite scary. I jumped and gave this little pathetic bleat. Brett said, “Where ya goin’, Goofball?”
I said, “Going into s-school.”
I mean, where else would I be going?
“Wotcha got in yer bag?”
“N-nothing!” I clutched my bag very tightly with
both hands. “I haven’t got anything in it!”
“Wotcha mean, you ain’t got anyfink in it? Wotcha carryin’ it for?”
“It’s just
s-school
stuff.” I cast round, desperately, but the playground was empty. I’d done my usual trick of arriving late, after the bell. It was just me and Brett Thomas!
“Give it us.” He reached out and grabbed the bag from me. There wasn’t anything I could do; I had to let him have it. Brett Thomas was a real hard nut, he’d bash your head in soon as look at you. Even Karina, who didn’t mind giving a load of bad mouth to Julia Bone, wasn’t bold enough to stand up to Brett Thomas. Nor was Julia, come to that. Nobody was.
“Wossis?” He’d pulled out my lunch-box and flipped off the lid. I watched as he prised up a corner of one of my sandwiches and sniffed at it. “Peanut butter? Man, that’s some repulsive crap!”
All the food that Mum had put in my lunch-box went hurtling across the playground.
“What else yer got?”
“Nothing.” I said. “It’s just homework.”
“Homework?”
He upended the bag and shook out the contents. “Only nerds do homework!”
He was about to mash all my books and papers into the ground when a voice yelled, “You do that and I’ll beat you to a pulp!”
It was Shay. I couldn’t believe it! Shay, daring to threaten Brett Thomas…I felt like snatching up my stuff and making a run for it, but I knew I couldn’t leave her there. She didn’t know what Brett Thomas was like; she didn’t know what she was letting herself in for.
“Honestly, it’s all right,” I said, “it doesn’t matter, it’s not important, it —”
“Course it’s important!” She turned on me, fiercely. “Can’t let people get away with this sort of thing!”
“So who’s gonna stop us?” Brett brought his foot down on top of my maths book and began grinding it into the mud.
“I am,” said Shay.
“Oh, yeah? You an’ whose army?”
“Don’t need any army!”
Shay launched herself at him. He was bigger and stronger than she was, but she caught him by surprise and managed to throw him off balance.
I hastily scooped up my papers and rescued my maths book.
“Come on,” I said, “let’s go! Shay…
let’s go
!”
But she wouldn’t. She stood there, glaring, hands on hips.
“That is such
bad
behaviour,” she said. “What are you? Some kind of throwback?”
“
Please!
” I was hopping from foot to foot. There still wasn’t anyone else in the playground. “Leave him!”
“Next time,” said Shay, “just pick on someone your own size.”
We turned, and walked off across the playground. Brett came after us. He didn’t actually do anything, just fell in behind us, breathing over our shoulders and uttering threats.
“I’ll get you for this, bitch! You don’t know who you’re dealing with!”
Even now, Shay couldn’t resist answering him back. “I know
what
I’m dealing with,” she said. “Stone Age moron’s what I’m dealing with!”
By the time we reached our classroom I had this great big tremble running through me, from top to bottom, making my whole body shake. I sank into my desk, next to Karina.
“You look really freaked out,” said Karina. “Like you’ve been chased down the street by a horde of headless ghosts.”
I told her it was worse than that. “Brett Thomas snatched my bag and Shay said she’d beat him to a pulp and he was a S-Stone Age moron!”
“What a total idiot.” Karina craned her head to give Shay a contemptuous glare. (Shay had chosen to sit next to me, on the other side.) “Stupid thing to do!”
“Pardon me?” said Shay. She also craned her head. “You don’t think it’s right someone stands up to him?”
“Not unless they want to get themselves knifed,” said Karina.
“He’d just better try it!” said Shay.
“You wait. You’ll see! He’ll get you.”
“You shouldn’t have done it,” I said. “He’s a horrible boy! He’s been excluded once.”
“Really?” said Shay, but she didn’t sound too impressed.
“Yes, and then they went and let him back, and now he terrorises everyone.”
Shay tossed her head. “Doesn’t terrorise me!”
“But he’s dangerous,” I said. “He’s really mean.”
“So’m I,” said Shay. “I’m meaner than a hyena! He’s not gonna get me.”
And he never did. I don’t know what it was, whether he was scared of her, or whether he respected her, but after that he never came anywhere near her. He never came near me again, either, thanks to Shay. I don’t know how it is that some people can stand up for themselves and beat the bullies and others can’t. If I’d told Brett he was a Stone Age moron, I dread to think what he would have done. There was just something about Shay that warned people off.
When it came to lunchtime I didn’t have anything to eat, on account of all my food being scattered over the
playground. Karina, who also brought packed lunches, said that I could have half of one of her sandwiches, if I wanted, and a mouthful of yoghurt.
“But that’s all, otherwise I’ll get hungry, and if I get hungry I’ll feel faint.”
Shay then came over to sit with us, bringing a trayful of chips and curry, and a slice of cake.
“I tried to get two dinners but they wouldn’t let me, but that’s OK, we can share…look, I’ll divide it up.”
She actually drew a line with her knife down the middle of the plate and said that one half was for her, and the other half was for me. When I tried to thank her, she said I didn’t have to do that.
“We’re Sugar and Spice, right?”
She’d noticed! All by herself, without me telling her. Karina said, “What’s that s’pposed to mean?”
“Means we share,” said Shay.
“Why?” said Karina.
“Cos we do. Yeah?” Shay glanced at me for confirmation, and I beamed and nodded. I could see Karina was cross as hornets and didn’t want Shay sitting with us, but it wasn’t like her and me had sworn
eternal friendship. We hadn’t sworn any sort of friendship. We’d just drifted together out of convenience, cos being together had seemed better than being on our own. Maybe the three of us could form a gang. The Sugar and Spice gang!
It was a cosy idea, but I think I already knew that Shay wasn’t a cosy sort of person.
We had two lots of homework that night: French and biology. I’m not terribly good at French, but I am good at biology! I love to find out about the body and the way it works, even though some of it is gruesome. The intestines, for example. All those metres of tubing, all pulsating away like crazy, gulping and squeeeeeeeeeezing, like a big sausage machine, as they move stuff along. It’s really pretty disgusting if you stop and think about it. I mean, if all the time you’re imagining to yourself what’s going on inside you, all the gulping and the squeeeeeeeeeezing and the sausage-making. After we’d learnt about it that morning I’d looked at Brett Thomas and wanted to giggle. The thought of Brett Thomas’s innards! All churning about. Slurping and slopping and squirming like maggots.