Submerging (Swans Landing) (20 page)

The two turned their angry glares toward me as other people passing by stopped to watch too. Soon there would be a crowd of angry finfolk around us.

“Let’s go,” Callum said. I let him pull me away from the square. The finfolk parted to allow us to pass, but when I glanced over my shoulder, they still stared after us.

“Are you all right?” Callum asked softly.

“What was that?”

Callum shook his head. “Just their own fear.”

I pulled him to a stop in front of me. I looked up into his bright green eyes, refusing to break his gaze. “Callum, if you want me to help you and get out of here, you have to be honest with me. You have to tell me exactly what happened to cause your banishment.”

Callum studied me for a long time. Finally, he nodded. “All right. Follow me.”

* * *

We stood on a large dune, beyond the village. We had almost walked all the way back to where we had first arrived on the island. I wasn’t sure how long ago that had been. Weeks, maybe a month?

Morning mist still hung over the ocean on this part of the beach. The cold wind whipped at my hair and the robe Domnall had provided me with. I looked like any other finfolk girl in Hether Blether. But my eyes scanned the hazy horizon far out at sea, looking for the place I knew I could never see from here.

Maybe it was time to go home, but I couldn’t leave without Callum or my mama. Neither of them were in a condition to survive swimming that far.

“I used to come here to watch the sunset with my sister,” Callum said.

His cheeks were rosy in the cold air. “Pearl?” I asked, remembering the name of the person he had once compared me to.

He nodded. “She was older than me by several years. Our parents died when I was seven. A virus hit Hether Blether back then and a lot of finfolk died. I almost died along with my parents, but Pearl nursed me back to health. Our grandparents, an aunt, two uncles, and a cousin all died as well. And so then, it was just the two of us. Pearl raised me.”

“So what happened?” I asked. “What does this have to do with...” My voice trailed off as a thought hit me and I sucked in a sharp breath as a chill spread through me. “Did you...you murdered your sister?”

“
No.
” Callum’s green eyes bored into mine. “No. She meant everything to me.” His voice cracked and his chin quivered slightly.

“Then what?” I asked. “How did she die?”

“It was a mistake,” Callum said, squeezing his eyes shut. “A stupid, terrible mistake. I was fourteen at the time, and I thought I knew everything. I thought I knew what was best for Hether Blether. The virus that killed my parents was only a symptom of something that had been happening to the island for a long time.
We don’t get sick here,
Sailor. We don’t die of disease, it doesn’t happen.” His shoulders slumped. “Or at least, that was the way it used to be. Now, with the protection around the island failing, we’re being exposed to diseases we’ve never experienced before. But it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. We can live in the human world, we can be a part of it and use their medicine to treat ourselves. That is what I was trying to do that day.”

Callum took a deep breath. “But Pearl tried to talk me out of it. She worried that exposing our world to the humans would cause more trouble than it would help. I wanted to show everyone I wasn’t some kid with crazy ideas. I swam for Westray. I didn’t realize how rough the sea was that day. I grew tired quickly and couldn’t find my way back to Hether Blether. When I didn’t come home that night, Pearl went out looking for me. She found me, I don’t know how, but she had some kind of instinct that led her to me.

“But we were close to the shores of Westray,” Callum went on. “Close to the cliff, where the lighthouse is. It was so dark, we couldn’t see anything except the light shining high above us. The water got rougher as we swam closer to the island. I tried to hold onto her. If we had been able to stick together, maybe our combined strength could have fought back against the current. We could have found our way around the cliffs to safer ground. But I lost my grip on her. I called for her, but she didn’t answer. I stayed in that water all night, calling for her and searching.”

His shoulders shuddered as he sucked in a deep breath. I squeezed his hand and stepped closer to him.

“What happened?” I asked gently.

“When the morning came, I was able to follow the cliff around the island toward lower ground. And then I saw Pearl, washed up on shore. I went to her, but she was already gone. She’d hit her head on the rocks along the cliff. She lay there, with her eyes wide open and staring up at the sky. I wanted to bring her back to Hether Blether, but then I heard someone coming down the beach toward us. I got scared. I didn’t know what else to do, so I left her there and went back into the water.”

I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his shoulder. “What did they do with her body?” I asked. “Did they know she was finfolk?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Somehow her body had changed back to human form, so she had legs. I watched from the water as the man who found her called for help. They carried her off. After my banishment, when I returned to Westray, I found out from old newspapers that there had been news stories asking for information on her identity. But no one knew who she was, so eventually, she was buried in an unnamed grave.

“When I came back home and told everyone what had happened, Domnall convinced them that my actions were treason,” Callum said. “I had risked exposing all of them. And since my actions led to the death of my sister, I was labeled a murderer.”

“But it was an accident,” I said. “You didn’t kill her.”

Callum shrugged. “Her death is my fault. So Domnall was right to banish me.”

“And your leg?” I asked.

“It was the most severe punishment Domnall could give me. I can’t swim as well as a whole finfolk can. Cutting off my leg and taking away my ability to change was supposed to keep me from coming back to Hether Blether.” He smirked. “We see how well that worked out.”

“But it’s barbaric,” I insisted. “You never intentionally set out to hurt anyone. Cutting off your leg for that is wrong.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s what I deserve, Sailor. If I hadn’t been so stupid, my sister would still be here.” He shook his head. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

“You think I don’t understand blame? If I hadn’t been born, my mama might still be in Swans Landing and not stuck here. The humans back home might not be so afraid of the finfolk if my mother had never had me. Don’t tell me about guilt, Callum. I’ve lived with it every day of my life.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” he told me. “The actions of your parents don’t make you guilty of anything.”

I laughed. “Spare me the lectures when you’ve just insisted that you’re a murderer because of an accident.”

He dropped his head. “I have wished every day for the last five years that I could go back and change everything.”

“You know what my grandma would say?” I asked.

He raised his eyebrows. “No. What?”

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride,” I said in my best Gale Mooring impersonation.

He blinked at me for a moment, then laughed. “I don’t think I understand, but maybe your grandmother is a wise woman.”

“She is,” I said, sighing as I thought about her.

“Do you miss her?”

I nodded. “And I’m worried about her.”

“Then we should go back to her,” Callum said.

I raised my eyebrows. “We?” I asked.

“I brought you to Hether Blether and to Domnall,” Callum said. “So maybe it’s my duty to help get you safe again.”

“How?” I asked. “You can’t make that swim.”

Callum frowned. “I’ll figure out a way.”

A tingle started up my arm, spreading throughout my body. When he reached over to cup my cheek in his hand, I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of him.

His warm breath brushed across my lips and I opened my eyes again to find his face only inches away. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine.

“I shouldn’t want to kiss you,” he said. “I shouldn’t be allowed to feel something good after everything I’ve done.”

“You want to kiss me?” I asked, my heart pounding against my chest.

“Very much.”

I swallowed, staring back into his eyes. “I want you to kiss me,” I whispered.

He trembled slightly as his mouth moved toward mine. The sound of birds and the ocean around us vanished when our lips met. I no longer felt the cold, wet earth beneath my feet. There was only Callum and me, and the feel of his arms pulling me into him as he kissed me deeper.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Josh didn’t say anything when Callum and I returned to the suite holding hands and for that I was grateful. This thing with Callum was new and strange and exciting and confusing all at once. I had spent my whole life convinced that Dylan Waverly was the person I was always meant to be with. From the time I was born, it was always Dylan and me.

Now, I wasn’t sure of anything.

Later that day, I wanted to go see my mother. Josh and Callum and I had discussed quietly the idea of leaving as soon as possible. I refused to leave without Mama, but whether she could actually swim all the way back to Swans Landing was still the big question.

I sent word to Artair that I wanted to go to the peninsula, and I wasn’t surprised when we arrived at the bay to find Domnall waiting with his sentry.

“No one invited you,” I told the finfolk king.

He smiled, not looking at all bothered by my annoyed tone. “It is my duty to ensure your safety while crossing the bay,” he said.

Callum scowled. “I can ensure her safety,” he said. “Go back to the palace.”

Domnall looked coolly at Callum. “Need I remind you that you do not issue orders here?”

Callum’s glare deepened, but he said nothing as we all boarded the boat.

The extra weight in the boat made it sit low in the water, and the small waves lapping against the side sometimes splashed over, collecting at our feet. I could feel the tug of the change inside me as my feet soaked in the cold saltwater in the bottom of the boat, but it wasn’t enough to force the transformation.

Mama sat at her desk again when I entered. Josh and Callum stood on either side of me, while I felt Domnall’s presence in the doorway behind us. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the unwanted audience, and stepped across the room.

“Mama?” I asked softly.

She was drawing, her hand moving smoothly across the paper. It was a drawing of the Swans Landing lighthouse, rising above the beach where it stood near the northern end of the island. She had captured it with the eye of someone who had spent a lifetime looking at the lighthouse every day.

“Mama.” I knelt next to her, putting a hand on her bony shoulder. She didn’t flinch or move away. She didn’t seem to even notice I was there “Do you want to go home?” I asked as quietly as I could so Domnall couldn’t hear.

She kept drawing, her greasy hair falling over her shoulder and into her face. I pushed it back behind her ear, the way Grandma had always done for me. An overwhelming homesickness washed over me. I could see Grandma in Mama’s face. I could hear her voice in my head, even smell her in the air around me.

I wanted to go home.

“Mama, we’re going back to Swans Landing,” I whispered “I’ll take you home. I’ll take you to Grandma. We have to swim and we’ll be there”

Mama’s thin lips cracked open, though she didn’t look away from her drawing. “I have to go,” she said.

I nodded. “Yes, we’ll go.”

“I have to find it,” Mama said.

I blinked. “Find what?”

“I need it.” A crease formed between her eyes and she frowned deeply. “I promised I would find it.”

“What is it?” I asked gently. I hoped she wouldn’t become agitated like before and shut down again.

“I need the key.” Mama turned her head toward me, her eyes wide. “It will save us.”

I had no idea what she was talking about, but she looked on the verge of another breakdown, so I rubbed a hand over her head and nodded. “Okay. We’ll find it, then we’ll go home. I promise.”

She sat back, looking satisfied. Then she turned her gaze toward the window. “I think I’ll go swimming today,” she said.

She was back in her own world inside her head. I stood, trying not to let out the sobs that were building inside me. How could I take her on a swim all the way across the ocean in this condition?

But how could I think about leaving her here?

“Are you all right?” Callum asked as I turned toward him.

I avoided his gaze, but nodded. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”

Domnall gave me a sympathetic smile. “I am sorry for your mother’s condition,” he said. “It is a shame to see someone who should be so healthy and in her prime like this.”

“If you’re so sorry about it, why haven’t you done anything to help her?” I snapped as we left the cottage. Josh grabbed my arm, shooting me a warning look, but I shrugged him off.