‘I've never’, she said, kissing him, ‘been surer about anything.’
They walked slowly back to Emily's room, the brightness of the moon and the music from the ballroom making it seem even
more magical. Yet even knowing there were all those people nearby, Emily felt as if they were the only two in the world.In a daze, she let Mark into her room. For one moment they looked at each other stupidly, as if too hesitant to begin. But then they touched, and after that it was easy. Clothes were peeled away, caresses given, whispered promises made, and afterwards they lay silently holding one another, marvelling at what they had just done. While they might lack rhythm on the dance floor, there was no mistaking their compatibility in the bedroom. And when Mark eventually slept, Emily lay beside him clear-eyed and content, and watched the dawn rise, as close to heaven as she thought it was possible to be.
Chapter Twenty-oneKatie ran and ran. Kicking off her heels – why had she worn the bloody things anyway? – she ran out of the ballroom and onto the patio area outside. She kept running across the lawn until she reached the little stream at the end of the gardens. It was only there that she stopped and flopped down on the ground in despair.
How could she have been so stupid? All evening she'd been aware of Rob looking at her. And she could admit now, sitting out here on her own, feeling like a fool, that she hadn't been able to take her eyes off him either. The black dinner jacket he'd been wearing had transformed him into someone debonair, sophisticated … fanciable. She'd recognised the danger, which was why she'd avoided dancing with him for so long. Practising the rumba with him that afternoon, she'd resolutely ignored his snake-like hips. So Travoltalike. So desirable. So definitely, absolutely avoidable.
But in the end, fuelled by a sense of adventure and recklessness, which had had the unfortunate effect of kicking in just when Rob asked her to dance, she'd gone for it hook, line and bloody sinker. And how.
All those weeks of carefully maintaining the fantasy. That her home life was fine and dandy. That Rob was just a semi-harmless flirtation. And now she had to face up to facts. She fancied Rob. She fancied someone who wasn't her husband, and he (judging from the strength of that kiss) fancied her. Charlie
had let her have a precious weekend away from the family and she'd betrayed him. And the children. What on earth had she done?‘Katie.’ She looked up to see Rob standing over her. She stood up awkwardly.
‘Katie, I'm sorry.’ Rob took her arm and she let him hold her for a second. How could something that felt so right be so very wrong?
The tears fell then and she shook herself away from him.
‘No, I am, Rob,’ she said. ‘I shouldn't have led you on. I'm married. I have kids. It was wrong of me.’
‘It was my fault,’ protested Rob. ‘I got carried away. It's just you're the first person I've felt like this about for a very long time.’
‘We can't,’ said Katie, turning to go. ‘I like you. I really do. But we can't.’
‘I know,’ said Rob, with a sadness that was slightly unexpected, and she found herself pausing. ‘Despite what you think of me I'm not a
complete
bastard. And I don't generally make a habit of falling for married women.’That elicited a small smile from Katie.
‘And there was me thinking you were a serial commitment freak,’ said Katie.
‘I am,’ said Rob. ‘But I have my reasons.’
He sat down, and Katie sat back down next to him. She knew she should leave, go up to her room and pack, but she wanted so badly to stay.
Rob paused for a minute, and then put his head in his hands, and stared through his fingers for a bit. He had undone his shirt and bow tie, and he looked incredibly vulnerable sitting there. Waves of tenderness swept over Katie, which in a way were more terrifying than the lust she'd been feeling earlier. She couldn't let herself feel these things for Rob. She mustn't.
Eventually, Rob spoke.
‘I was in love once,’ he said. ‘Her name was Suzie. And she was a lot like you. Feisty. Fun. Pretty.’
He thinks I'm all those things, Katie thought in awe. When had Charlie ever said anything like that to her? Never, was the answer. Or not for a very, very long time.
‘What happened?’ asked Katie.
Rob didn't say anything. He sat staring at his hands.
‘It's difficult,’ he said, looking up again. ‘I've never really told any of this to anyone before. I don't know where to begin.’
‘The beginning, perhaps?’
‘Suzie and I met at college,’ said Rob. ‘We were interested in the same things – both studying history, keen on activity stuff, into the climbing wall, and both of us wanted to be teachers. So we got involved in the student community project group. We went into schools and did reading with kids who had literacy problems, set up team-building days for deprived children. That kind of thing.
‘During our last summer, before we were due to go to teacher-training college, we volunteered to help on a week away, camping in Wales. There were walks and climbing things set up. We thought it would be fun. And we were so in love. So stupidly in love, the way you are when you're young …’
Rob's voice broke off for a minute and Katie felt almost jealous of Suzie for having inspired such feelings.
‘Anyway,’ he continued, sounding strained, ‘to cut to the chase. One day we went on a long walk in the mountains. The terrain got more and more difficult, and I kept saying to the group leader that we should turn back. But she said they'd done the climb before and it was fine.’
Rob paused again and ran his hand through his hair. ‘Christ, this is difficult.’
‘Go on,’ said Katie, slipping her hand into his and squeezing it.
‘Then we got to this rocky outcrop. Suzie and I were ahead with one group, and I said we should wait for the rest to catch
up. Suzie and I were distracted and mucking around with each other, so we didn't see the kid at first. He was determined to show off, and just ran off and climbed up the rock face.’‘Then what happened?’ Katie asked.
Rob shook his head slowly.
‘I tried to call him back but he ignored me. Suzie said I should go after him, and I started to, but then he began to climb down. And then he slipped and fell.’ Rob stared into his hands, as if seeing the full horror of the moment for the first time. ‘He died, Katie. He died and I could have saved him.’
‘Oh Rob, that's awful,’ said Katie, involuntarily covering her mouth with her hand.
‘There was an inquiry, of course,’ said Rob. ‘But while they found the organisation had been negligent, they didn't attach blame to Suzie or me.’
‘Well, it wasn't your fault,’ said Katie.
‘No? I've thought about it every day for the last fifteen years. Wondered if things could have been different. If I should have done something different. Suzie blamed me. She said I should have stopped him. Our relationship never recovered. And I've been on my own playing jack the lad ever since.’
‘Sounds lonely,’ said Katie.
‘It is.’ Rob looked at her intently. ‘Which is why I need you.’
Katie let go of his hand as if it were red hot.
‘No,’ she said. ‘You don't. You need
someone
. Have you ever thought of counselling?’Rob pulled a face. ‘I don't need counselling. I need you.’
‘You can't have me,’ said Katie. ‘I'm sorry.’
‘Me too,’ said Rob. ‘Me too.’
Katie got up, kissed him on the top of his head, and walked away. Her last sight of him was as he sat on the grass, looking so lonely and lost. She wanted to go back, to comfort him. But she couldn't. She mustn't. She had her family to consider.
* * *
Mark woke up and blinked as the sun shone through the blinds, in an unfamiliar room, with an unfamiliar feeling. One he'd forgotten had ever existed. That feeling of sheer luck and good fortune that came from having fantastic sex with a woman you loved.
Emily was curled up next to him, breathing softly. Her dark hair had fallen slightly over her face. She looked beautiful, vulnerable, completely wonderful lying there. He bent over and gently kissed her neck. She opened one eye sleepily and smiled at him.
‘Hello you,’ she said.
‘Hello you,’ Mark replied.
‘You're still here then,’ said Emily.
‘Looks like it,’ Mark agreed.
‘Good,’ she said. ‘I'm glad.’
She snuggled up to him and he held her close. Two hearts beating as one. All the old romantic clichés came out at times like this; perhaps because they were true. Mark gave a deep sigh of contentment.
‘I never
ever
thought I'd feel like this again,’ he said.‘Like what?’
‘Happy, content. Feeling that I'm the luckiest man in the world,’ said Mark. ‘I'd forgotten what being in love is like.’
‘Wait a minute, did you just –?’
‘Use the L-word?’ Mark said. He pulled her close to him and kissed her on the mouth. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I did. Emily Henderson, I think I love you.’
Emily looked shocked before responding, ‘And I love you too.’
Mark hugged her tight. ‘Life really doesn't get much better than this,’ he whispered.
‘No, it doesn't,’ she whispered back. Then she said, ‘Why are we whispering?’
‘No idea,’ said Mark, ‘I just feel a bit like a naughty schoolboy.’
‘And I feel like a naughty schoolgirl,’ said Emily, giggling as
an arm snaked its way down her back. ‘A
very
naughty schoolgirl.’‘Now what do you suppose,’ asked Mark, ‘a naughty schoolboy might find to do first thing on a Sunday morning?’
‘Ooh, I don't know,’ said Emily teasingly as she traced a path down his spine with her fingers, ‘but I think I can guess.’
As Mark let himself explore Emily's body again, he gave silent thanks for having found her. It still seemed a miracle that somehow he had.
Rob was silent on the journey home. Mark had come down for breakfast with a jaunty look in his eye, and it was clear from his and Emily's body language how things had panned out for them last night. Katie, on the other hand, had cried off breakfast and he had only seen her when they were checking out. She'd looked red-eyed and tired, and had avoided his gaze. He couldn't altogether blame her. Something had happened last night that neither of them had been expecting, and while he knew, had always known, that she wasn't the sort of woman to abandon responsibility lightly, Rob also wished beyond all measure that things could be different.
Christ, he hadn't even told Mark all that stuff about Suzie, and Mark had been around at the time. Mark knew about the accident, of course, but he had no idea of the effect it had had on Rob, or how it had destroyed his and Suzie's relationship. For years Rob had cultivated a devil-may-care attitude towards women and relationships. And for years it had worked. But Katie had brought all that tumbling down, and now Rob wanted her with a fierceness and a passion he hadn't realised he was capable of.
‘You all right?’ Mark glanced at Rob, who was gripping the steering wheel hard as he drove up the motorway.
‘Yeah, fine,’ said Rob. ‘Just a bit tired. That's all.’
‘So who was the lucky lady?’ Mark asked.
‘No one,’ said Rob shortly.
‘No one?’ Mark laughed out loud. ‘There's always a lucky lady.’
‘Well there wasn't last night,’ said Rob.
‘There's no need to be shirty,’ Mark retorted.
‘I'm not being shirty,’ Rob replied, knowing he was. ‘I just sat up in the bar too late, having one too many.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Mark, ‘only it's not like you to be so grumpy.’
‘I'll be grumpy if I feel like it, so just leave it, will you,’ said Rob with unaccustomed savagery. ‘Would you look at that idiot?’ Someone had just pulled out into the middle lane without indicating. Rob hooted him, before flooring it and taking off in the outside lane. There was nothing like driving fast to ease his damaged soul. A pity that the effect was only temporary.
Emily hummed as she walked into work on Tuesday morning. The weekend couldn't have been better. Despite a distinct lack of improvement in her dancing skills, in every other way it had been fantastic. On the way home, Katie had been peculiarly reticent about the events of the rest of her evening, but was kindly and politely thrilled for Emily in the way only the best girlfriends could be. Emily had spent the remainder of the weekend with Mark. It felt like a whole new world was opening up before her. They had cooked together on Sunday evening. Laughed uproariously together at
Spaced
. Fallen into bed together with the joyous abandon of new lovers. It had been wonderful. Perfect. Better than perfect.‘Good weekend?’ John greeted her as she backed through the office door, trying not to spill her latte.
‘The best, thanks, and you?’
‘Not bad,’ said John, ‘but it would have been all the better for sharing it with you.’
‘Flattery will get you nowhere,’ said Emily, heading for her desk, which was piled high with files she'd not got round to clearing out on Friday. She didn't care.
‘By the way, did you hear about Andrew?’ John shouted as Emily started to pick her way through the chaos on her desk. Andrew was one of the partners who tended to handle all their most important media clients. He was away at present on a quad-biking holiday.
‘No, what?’
‘Apparently he's broken his leg,’ said John. ‘He's suing the firm he went with, of course.’
‘Of course,’ said Emily drily. Andrew was known for his propensity to sue anything that moved. The man didn't know the meaning of the term personal responsibility.
She turned back to the files on her desk. With Andrew away, presumably his workload would get shared out among them. As if she didn't have enough to do.
‘Emily, can I have a word?’ Mel popped her head round the door.
‘Yeah, sure.’ Emily followed her boss into the office, wondering what crap was coming her way due to the fallout from Andrew's accident.
‘you've probably heard by now about Andrew's unfortunate accident,’ Mel began.
‘Yes, is he all right?’ Emily asked.
‘He'll be fine.’ Mel waved away concerns about her colleague's health. ‘However, he obviously can't work at the moment, and there are one or two pressing things coming up. I wondered if you'd be prepared to take them on.’
‘Well, of course,’ said Emily, her heart sinking. She was frantic ally busy as it was, but Mel was a hard person to resist.
‘Of course, there may be something in it for you,’ said Mel with a significant smile. ‘We were all pleased with the outcome of the Brabham case, so who knows, maybe it's time you went up in the world.’
Emily saw the carrot. She'd fallen for this before, but maybe, just maybe, this time she could prove her worth and get on to
the next rung of the ladder. Heaven knows, her shaky finances and ever-increasing mortgage costs could do with it.‘I'll be happy to help in any way I can,’ she said.
‘Right, then. Here's the first case I want you to work on,’ said Mel. ‘It's already been in the papers. That woman from
Love Shack
– is it Jade or –?’