Authors: Jennifer Lane
“How’d you know?”
“That’s what
I
wanted to do when…” His voice trailed off as he thought of Cam. “Never mind. You’re stalling. Call your mom.” Audrey bit her lip. “She’s got enough to worry about with my dad in prison. I don’t want to disappoint her.”
“I’m thinking your mom would be pretty mad if you went to the hospital without telling her.” Audrey looked down, and he continued,
“And though my mom doesn’t hit us, she’s a tough lady. Well, she used to be. She was a naval officer, and you want to do what she says.” Audrey reached for her purse and dug out her cell phone.
“Hi, Mom,” she said just a few moments later. “It’s an ambulance siren…I’m okay, Mom.” She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant…but I’m bleeding, and they’re taking me to the hospital.” She clutched the phone, listening to her mother. “I started bleeding about twenty minutes ago…It was a lot, Mom. I got blood all over the Scotts’ carpet.” Audrey shot a guilty glance at Jason. Then she gripped her belly with the hand not holding the phone.
“Yes, Mom. Mrs. Scott told me to call you, and Leo’s brother is with me right now.”
Audrey looked up and asked the paramedic, “Where are you taking me?”
“The Naval Hospital.”
She relayed that to her mother. “I was really hurting, Mom.
Then it got better. Now I think…it’s starting again.” She groaned and curled her knees to her chest on the stretcher.
“Your phone call’s over,” said the paramedic, moving in to check her vitals.
Audrey got out a quick goodbye before hanging up and handing the phone to Jason, along with her purse.
“We’re almost there now,” said the paramedic. “Take some deep breaths and try to relax.”
Jason could see panic in Audrey’s eyes.
He took her hand, and she squeezed it tightly with each wave of cramping. He was determined not to let another Scott girlfriend deal with a pregnancy by herself.
A doctor and nurse hovered over Leo while Mary stood by, clutching her canes in the curtained-off ER station.
The nurse had removed Leo’s shirt, exposing an array of angry bruises. The doctor now examined his torso, and anytime his palpations neared Leo’s belly, the half-conscious patient flinched. Leo groaned when the doctor squirted gel on his skin for an ultrasound, and the sound was like sandpaper against Mary’s eardrums.
Guiding Mary to the nurse’s station, the nurse gave her a sympathetic look. “How ’bout you wait here, ma’am? Dr. Anderson will be out when he’s done with his exam.” Mary could still hear the physician speaking to the nurse. “Class two hemorrhage…hmm…eighty-five isn’t all that high…looks like some involvement of the spleen.”
A few minutes later the physician emerged. “Mrs. Scott, I’m afraid your son has internal bleeding. As best we can tell, the source is a ruptured spleen.”
Mary held her hand to her mouth.
“It
looks
like internal bleeding, but he’s not as pale as we’d expect.
His pulse should be higher too.”
“He
is
pale, Doctor. His father’s Black.” She blinked rapidly. “And he’s a competitive swimmer. His resting pulse was fifty-two at his last physical, I think.”
“Good to know. We’ll be taking him to the OR when they’re ready for him. For now we’re administering saline through his IV.” Mary bit her lip, and the nurse poked his head out from the drawn curtain. “The saline seems to have improved his mental status.
Would you like to see your son before surgery?” Nodding, Mary made her way to his bedside. Leo’s eyes slowly fluttered open. He tried to focus. He attempted to sit up, but gasped at the effort.
“Stay down, Leo,” she said. “You’re at the Naval Hospital. You passed out in your bedroom, and they brought you here in an ambulance.”
“Where’s Audrey?”
Mary ignored his question. “You have a ruptured spleen, and they’re taking you to surgery. You’ve been really out of it.” His eyes darted around the room. “Why isn’t Audrey here?”
“Shh, Leo.” She took some tissues and gently wiped his sweaty forehead. “Everything’s going to be okay.” Two orderlies entered and began wheeling Leo’s bed away. He craned his neck back to look at his mother, his eyes frantic.
“I’ll see you soon.” She smiled bravely until he was gone, then stumbled to the waiting room and crumpled into a chair.
A couple of hours later, Jason appeared and Mary woke with a start from her fitful sleep. He kneeled and gave his mother a much-needed bear hug.
Leaning into his strong body was so comforting. Thank goodness he’d returned to Pensacola. “How’s Audrey?”
“They did a pelvic exam and an ultrasound.” Jason looked down.
“She lost the baby.”
“Oh! And her mother isn’t here. How awful.”
“I, uh, had to hold her hand during the exam, and it was kind of embarrassing, Mom. Audrey had me cal Elaine, but she’s not here yet.”
“And she called her mother?”
“Yes, ma’am. They decided to keep her overnight for observation because of all the blood loss. Where’s Leo?”
“He’s in surgery. They’re removing his spleen.” She looked away.
“He kept asking me where Audrey was, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him.”
Jason rubbed his hands over his hair. “How’d this happen, Mom?
Leo was supposed to be the good one, never getting in trouble.”
“He
is
the good one. And you’re the good one too, Jason.” He looked down, and she knew he didn’t believe her. “It’s just that
nobody’s
ever good enough for your father. Even he himself isn’t good enough.”
“I wonder what’s happening to him,” Jason said softly.
Her face felt hot, and she clenched her teeth. “He’s caused so much damage. Whatever they do to him will never be enough.”
It had been a long night.
James rubbed his eyes, careful not to smudge his face with the ink on his fingertips. Being fingerprinted and photographed before being stuffed in this holding cell was to be expected, but he was fairly certain the full body-cavity search wasn’t standard procedure. He bet that witchy detective had put them up to it.
Dozing men had littered the dingy holding cell as he entered, each attempting to get comfortable on the hard metal benches along the walls. The fetid stench of body odor hung over the space. Continuing his reconnaissance, James’s eyes had landed on a huge white guy across the room, and he was startled to find the man glaring at him.
James defiantly returned his stare. Eventually the man averted his gaze. James exhaled.
He could barely keep himself still and was filled with restless energy, craving a good run — the only thing that would quiet his racing mind. Since that wasn’t an option, he’d dropped to the floor to pump out some pushups, but after just a couple he realized this position left him too vulnerable.
So he’d sat on a bench. And sat, and sat, eventually overwhelmed by the images and sounds filling his brain. Repeatedly he saw Mary’s face contorted with rage as that detective hauled him out of Leo’s bedroom in handcuffs. Over and over he heard Leo’s whimpers, barely audible above the current of adrenaline rushing in his body. The vision of Leo’s prone form, the fight finally knocked out of him. Jason’s heated words: “You’re a monster!” Leo’s flinch when he’d hugged him at the state meet.
James stared at his shaking hands, the hands that had caused such damage to those he loved. He shoved them into the pockets of his pants, disgusted by the sight of them.
More haunting visions flickered in his mind. He saw Mary standing in the doorway of that petty officer’s apartment, devastated by his betrayal. He’d never wanted to hurt her like that again, but he felt desperate when she’d refused him repeatedly after the accident.
Forced to look elsewhere for comfort, he’d sampled lots of options, then found the perfect candidate. But she’d wanted nothing to do with him. If only she’d submitted, things would have been so much easier.
A wave of anger washed through him, and suddenly he remembered the days following his parents’ death when he was eleven. His lone remaining adult relative, his father’s sister, had refused to take him in because she was a single mother raising four children herself.
James was still furious with his aunt for closing her door, and since then he’d had no contact with his cousins, one of whom was now in prison.
In the time it took a semi to slam into his parents’ car on the highway, James’s life had transformed from happiness to horror. A social worker had led him straight from the double funeral to a boys’ home, where the other boys had eyed him greedily. He was fresh meat, and they were hungry.
He’d learned to use his fists to survive. By the time he was placed in a foster home three years later, he was full of rage and had multiple arrests for assault. His foster father was a naval lieutenant who literally whipped him into shape. And though James had hated each strike of the belt, the structure of his new home forced him to apply himself to school, where he found success in both academics and athletics.
His foster father’s mantra had been “rise above,” and James had done just that. He’d risen above his grief and criminal history to earn a scholarship to the Naval Academy. There he’d met Mary.
He surveyed the pathetic group in the holding cell once again.
He was so different than them. He was a father determined to help his son succeed.
Six hours later Mary and Jason dozed in chairs next to Leo’s bed in the hospital room.
“Mom?” Leo croaked.
Mary opened her eyes. “What is it, Leo?”
“Where’s Audrey?”
Leo’s question also woke Jason, who yawned and stretched his arms over his head. Mary cleared her throat, smiling sadly. “She’s in another hospital room.” His confusion was evident, and she continued, “Audrey had a miscarriage, honey.” His eyes welled with tears. “No…no. It’s all my fault. And I wasn’t there for her.”
“I stayed with her, buddy,” Jason said. “Audrey knows you would’ve been there if you could. But you were in surgery.” Mary studied her younger son, who seemed small and so tired against the bank of pillows behind him. “You and Audrey both need to get more rest. Then you can see her for yourself.” Leo continued to cry, but it wasn’t long before the aftereffects of anesthesia and blood loss took over. Mary watched him finally give in. He’d be brimming with self blame again when he woke, she knew.