Strapped: A Second Chance Mafia Romance (11 page)

5
^th
October 2014

A
s the sobs
rack through my body, I don't know what I’m going to do next. I had my hopes a little higher than they should have been that everything was going to turn out okay, and it’s devastating that it isn’t going to go that way at all. It was naive of me to believe that just because Marco and I love one another, that everything would work out for us.

“What... where are we going?” I ask through the tears, looking at the road flying past me in the window. We’re definitely speeding, but that isn’t troubling me right now. In fact, getting pulled over would probably be the best thing for us.

“We need to get the fuck out of here,” Marco tells me with terror flooding through his tone. “We need to leave New York, to go on the run before any of those fuckers catch up with us.” The fact that he’s so scared works me up even further, but it’s more his words that I’m currently focusing on.

What? Run away?

My mind reels, panicking terribly about this. I can’t just up and leave – I have a life here. An apartment, a job (if I still have one after all the time I’ve taken off ‘sick’), a future... I can’t just leave that behind.

“Wait,” I shake my hands in front of my face. “No, no we can’t just run. That’s insane.”

“We have to,” he shoots me down as if I don't quite get it. I do, I really do, but that isn’t all that I need to consider. Yes, our lives are in danger, but I’m honestly not sure that running is the answer. They’ll find us eventually and that will make it a thousand times worse.

“Stop,” I try to sound calm with my response so that he will take me seriously, but somehow my words come out a little too hysterical. “We need to stop. You need to pull the car over.” I tug at my hair, probably adding to my already slightly crazed look, as he continues to ignore me. “Please, Marco, this isn’t right, we can’t do this. Where would we even go? What would we even do? We need to stay, to find some other way...”

“There
is
no other way,” he suddenly explodes. “Don’t you understand, if they catch us we will end up fucking dead in a ditch somewhere. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not,” I scream back. “But going on the run in this shitty t-shirt with no cash or anything to our names doesn’t exactly seem like the sensible answer either.”

“Fuck,” he mutters, swerving the car off to one side of the road. “Fucking hell.” He slams his fist against the steering wheel as he starts to realize that I must be right.

“It’ll be okay,” I touch his arm softly, wanting to comfort him somehow, but before I can blurt out my plan to go to the cops, he pulls my body up against his, hugging me tightly to him. He holds my face against him, and I actually find warmth in his embrace. He’s oddly comforting in among everything, and for the very first time I find myself glad that he’s so accustomed to violence – it has saved my life more than once. It might not be the right way to act, but when it’s helped us both to survive, I can’t be mad about any of it.

As he pulls back to look at my face, I can see a new expression there – one that’s filled with clarity. “Look, Liv, we really do need to go,” he pleads. “Umberto, the head of the mafia, he has the cops in his back pocket so they will be no use to us. They are scary guys Liv, and there’s no way to tell what they’ll do to us if they find us. We really do have to escape.”

I try to quickly come up with some other plan, but my mind remains frustratingly blank. Seeing where my brain is headed, Marco speaks out once more.

“Trust me, I don't like this either. If there was any other way, I would take it.”

His words are so genuine and pure that I find myself nodding and agreeing with him. He’s turned his back on his own men for me, so maybe I should put some faith into him for once.

“Okay,” I concede. “But I meant what I said. We can’t do this with nothing.”

“We’ll swing by my apartment on the way,” he nods decisively. “I don't expect Carmine will think that I’ll be dumb enough to go there, so we should be able to sneak in and out with no trouble. I have everything that we’ll need in there.”

“But what about me?” I plead, feeling silly with my request. I just can’t go on the run with absolutely no clothing – which might be a stupid worry, but it feels valid enough to me. “I can’t survive in your t-shirts forever.”

“Can I buy you some new stuff?” He asks tentatively. “I don't know if we can risk going to two places, and I’m pretty sure you don't have any guns locked away in your home, do you?”

“No,” I shake my head despondently before realizing that I don't really have anything in my apartment that I desperately need. I moved here with the idea of a brand new, fresh start so everything from my past has been left at my parent’s home. I guess I don't have anything worth going back for, which is pretty sad when you think about it. “That’s fine, we’ll go to your place.”

“Okay, so we finally have a plan,” he announces, pulling back onto the road, and I don't like to bring up the fact that we actually don't have any kind of plan at all. We know where we are headed next, but we have no idea where we’re going after that.

As Marco races through New York, I mentally say goodbye to the place all over again. The last time I left, I looked out of the car window only thinking of my lost love, whereas this time I’m saying goodbye to the person I could have been had I just stuck to the plan. I should have been working my way up the corporate ladder, not running from a bunch of terrifying criminals. Sure, Marco is worth the sacrifice, but I still feel like I need to have a little bit of closure.

After all, I’m pretty sure that once we leave this place and head out on the run, there won’t be any turning back.

Goodbye, New York.

Goodbye, career.

Goodbye, Ryan and everyone at Elite Advertising.

Goodbye, Marissa – again – I hope that you manage to sort your life out in the end, and I’m sorry for any part I played in your downfall. Even if I didn’t directly do anything, I wasn't there for you, and I feel bad about that.

“Shall I come in?” I ask Marco nervously as we arrive. I know he said it wasn't likely that Carmine would be there, but we can’t be completely sure about that. He could be in there... waiting for us... ready to pounce at any damn moment...

“You need to,” Marco nods. “I can’t leave you out here alone, not now. There’s no way.”

“Right okay,” I nod, trying not to let the terror show across my face. Then again, I suppose neither option is preferable, they are both dangerous. At least if I go inside I won’t be by myself like a sitting target.

As we step inside, I’m shaking all over, but as soon as Marco has done a quick scan of the place and seen that we truly are alone, we switch our focus to business. We need to grasp hold of all that we can before it’s too late, before we get caught. I try to concentrate only on what needs to be done, which is made much easier by what happens next.

“Here,” Marco hands me a suitcase. “Hold this open.”

I do as I’m told, expecting him to fill it with clothes, but instead he begins to toss reams and reams of money inside. My eyes bug out as he continues to pile it in, shocked to see how much he has. I’ve never seen so much money in my life – I have no idea how much is even there. All I know for sure is that it’s an insane amount.

“Whoa,” I hear myself gasp in surprise. “I guess crime really does pay.”

Marco ignores my comment, and next moves on to guns, which it seems that he also has a stockpile of. He pulls all sorts of weapons out and stuffs them into a long bag, while I stare on in surprise.

“Can you grab some clothes and stuff?” He asks me casually, as if what I’m seeing is no big deal – which I suppose to him it isn’t. “Grab whatever you think we’re gonna need for at least the next few days. Don’t worry if you forget anything, we can pick whatever up along the way.”

“Right,” I snap into action with a task to keep me going. “I’m on it.”

I race around his home with my brain all over the place, grabbing random items and shoving them into a huge bag. I think of clothing and toiletries, but I keep getting the awful, cold sensation that I’m forgetting something.

It isn’t until I’m about to leave the bedroom, to turn my back on New York forever, that I remember Marco’s photo of his grandmother that I saw on my first night, so I run back for it and stuff in underneath everything else. That isn’t the sort of thing that Marco will ask for – he’s far too practical for that – but I know he will thank me later for remembering it. He needs the memory of her to keep him going, she was the one constant in his life when everything else was shit, and she really doesn’t deserve to be forgotten.

“Are you ready?” Marco yells across the apartment. “We need to get out of here.”

I suck in a few deep breaths, trying to steady myself before making this bold move. I know that my life is in danger too – probably more than Marco – but this feels like the moment that I really am choosing him over everything else, and that thought is as exhilarating as it is terrifying.

“I’m ready,” I tell him determinedly, ultimately happy with my choice. “Come on, let’s go.” It’s him, it’s always been him, so there’s no pretending to myself that there’s any other valid choice.

With that, we race from his home and get into his car, before racing through the city once more. This time I feel more comfortable with our decision – we have the supplies we need, and my mind has steadied itself to know that this is the only way for us both to live. It might be crazy, totally insane, but it also feels right.

Look at me now, dad,
I think to myself, far more pleased than I should be.
You spent all your time and effort trying to keep me and Marco apart, and we found our way back to one another anyway.

I wonder what he would think of me now, going through this life crisis. Would he sympathize and want to help me out, or would he play the
I told you so
card? And what would my mom do? I really don’t know for sure, but I feel like by picking Marco I’m also turning my back on them too. Sure we haven’t always been close, but it’s a heavy thing to have to accept.

I just hope that it’ll all be worth it, and that Marco and I survive. I would hate to sacrifice so much just to end up dead anyway – that would be absolutely gutting.

5
^th
October 2014

I
don't let
Olivia see it, but I’m fucking furious about everything that has gone on with Carmine. I want her to think that my mind is only on the task at hand, but I can’t stop my thoughts from drifting into very dangerous territory as I drive. I keep gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter as we whiz through country lanes, wondering how the hell the men that I considered family could turn their backs on me so easily.

When I think about all the shitty jobs that I’ve done for Carmine, all the fucking times I’ve had his back, it makes me madder than ever. He should know by now that he can trust me, and if I say that Olivia is okay, he should understand and believe my words.

I feel like I want to spin this fucking car around and finish what I started. I want to kill Carmine for what he’s done, and I’m regretting that I only broke his nose. That much is going to get me killed anyway, so I should have just gone the whole hog and gotten it done.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Liv glances over to me anxiously. “Do you have a plan in mind?”

“I know a small mall on the edge of the city,” I tell her, making my mind up as I go along – but at least it makes me look like I’ve come up with a plan. “We can pick up some clothes for you there and then get a motel or something.”

“We don't need to stop for me now,” she insists, shaking her hands in front of her face. “I was silly to panic about what I was going to wear – we should get ourselves safe first.”

I don't reply because I’m not in the right frame of mind for an argument, plus I already know what I’m going to do so there’s no point anyway. Instead, I fix my eyes back on the road, desperately trying to plan where we can hide. Even if I pick somewhere today, it won’t suffice forever. We need to actually make some fucking decisions about where we’re going to settle now that we can’t stay in New York.

Everything that I’ve been considering hypothetically really comes to the surface now. I already realized that I have no skills to offer the world except for my criminal activities, and without the mob behind me I can’t keep that up.

Maybe I should take Olivia to Jackson, explain to her parents what has happened and allow them to get her back on her feet. Maybe I was right the first time around when I let her go... maybe I should have stuck to that decision.

“Stop it,” she replies angrily from her side of the car. “I can see where your mind is going, and I want to tell you to stop it right away.” I send her a shocked look, but that doesn’t deter her one bit. “It’s written all over your face, you want to let me go again.” Am I really that transparent? “You don't love someone for half your life, and not know how to read them! I know that you’re thinking that I’m better off without you, blah, blah, blah... but this isn’t your choice anymore. I want to be with you, I chose to be here, and you aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”

“But...” I try to interject, but she isn’t letting me get a word in edgewise.

“No, Marco, just get us both the fuck out of here. We’re in this together now, so let’s just keep that in mind. If we keep going back and forth like this, deciding whether or not we want to be together, we will both end up dead. I love you, you love me, it really is that simple. Now we just need to get going forward, start focusing on the future.”

“Okay,” I reply, suitably chastised. She is right on that front, we have spent too much time worrying about whether or not we’re right for one another. Now isn’t the time for that – we
are
together and that’s the end of it. “I won’t think like that again.”

“Good,” she smiles lightly, before settling down more comfortably in her seat.

As we glide along the road, I can see the emotional exhaustion becoming too much for her, and her eyes begin to flicker shut. Sleep comes for her and quickly consumes her, causing her head to loll forwards. When she’s finally asleep, I let out a sigh of relief that she’s at least getting some comfort. This has all been too much for her, and I know that all she needs is a decent rest.

If we hadn’t just had that conversation, I might be considering driving to Jackson now while she isn’t aware, but she’s made me see that I can’t betray her like that. I need to do what she wants too.

She’s probably safer with me anyway – the mob might have already tracked down her relatives and they could be on the way there as we speak. Maybe this is just the way that it’s meant to be...

* * *

O
ver an hour later
, I finally pull up by some stores where I feel like we’ll be safe for a little while. I know that Olivia isn’t too keen to buy some new clothes right now, but that t-shirt of mine is already looking ratty on her, and she’s right – she can’t survive in my clothes forever. This might be the start of a very long time on the road, so I need her to be comfortable.

“Liv?” I shake her gently, waking her up. “We’re here.”

She jumps up as if she’s been electrocuted and glances around wildly, proving that her time asleep hasn’t allowed her to forget what we’re going through, even for a second. Her arms wrap tightly around her as she protects herself, and I have to lightly tug at them so she can let herself go.

“Don't worry, we’re miles away. We’re safe now.” I tell her calmly, holding on to her shoulders. “They won’t think to look here, we’re in the middle of nowhere.” I don’t tell her that we haven’t really been driving for that long because I need her to relax, and thankfully she nods, trusting me. “So let’s go and grab you some clothes – that t-shirt won’t last much longer.”

“Okay,” she whispers, following me as I exit the car.

Once inside the shop, I tell her to get whatever she wants, but she doesn’t look fully enthused. It’s as if this shopping trip is much more torturous than pleasurable, so I take the reins and grab some stuff that I’m sure she will look good and feel comfortable in.

“I don't need so much,” she tells me weakly. “I’ll be fine.”

But I don’t pay any attention to her. Neither of us knows how long we’ll be on the road for, so I would much rather be safe than sorry. I don't mind anyway, I can afford it and it is my fault that she couldn't go home.

One I have rung everything up at the checkout, and paid for it in cash, I hand the bag to her and watch as she scurries into the bathroom where I’m sure she’ll be relieved to get changed.

While she’s there I make the huge mistake of checking my phone, just to see if anyone has been in touch. I instantly regret my decision, but it’s too late, it’s been done. Alongside the hundreds of missed calls by various mob members, there are messages too:

Carmine: ‘You’re fucking dead bro. After everything we’ve done for you, after the life we’ve given you, you turn your back on us for some prissy bitch? You’re gonna fucking pay for what you did... don't you forget it.’

Diego: ‘Dude, what the fuck did you do? He’s gonna fucking kill you, I suggest that you run.’

“Already on it,” I mutter to myself as I move on to the next one.

Luke: ‘Where are you, Marco? I think if you come back and talk this through, we can all sort it together. I’ve been reminding everyone of what a good guy you are, and I think if you face the music it can all be sorted.’

“Always the optimist,” I shake my head in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” Olivia interrupts my thoughts, and I glance up to see her in a plain white t-shirt combined with black leggings. She has scrubbed her face and is looking a whole lot cleaner – more like her usual self.

“Oh nothing,” I brush her off, shoving my phone back into my pocket. “Come on, let’s go.”

We drive to a nearby motel, one that’s grimy and kind of shitty – certainly not the sort of place I would like to take Olivia, but it’s also not the sort of place anyone will expect to find me.

“Is this where we’re staying?” Liv asks, with concern across her face. “Are you sure they won’t get us here?”

“I’m positive,” I tell her determinedly. “Now let’s go and check into a room. We’ll be fine here for the night.”

Once we’re inside a very small room, I order some room service from the tiny kitchen on offer. It isn’t the five-star treatment that I’m used to while travelling, but a sandwich will do just fine while our lives are so in danger.

I watch out of the corner of my eye as Olivia nibbles around the edge of hers, but doesn’t consume too much. She’s clearly distracted, her mind is all over the place, and I wish for a second that I could just climb into her brain and calm her down.

“Are you alright?” I ask anxiously, knowing that of course she isn’t. “I’m sorry this isn’t great...”

“No, no,” she shakes her head. “It’s just fine... I just can’t help feeling on edge. It’s all so weird.”

The urge to kiss her begins to overpower me, but I already know this isn’t the time or place for that. I can’t be thinking about solidifying what we have when everything else is so up in the air – it just wouldn’t be right.

“Did your grandma know about everything in your life?” She asks all of a sudden, completely blowing my mind. “Only... I can’t imagine her accepting this side of you, especially after what happened with your parents.”

“She suspected,” I tell her honestly. “But we never outright discussed it. I think that by the time she realized that I was going down a wrong path, Johnny had his claws too deeply into me.”

“Johnny?” She asks curiously, which reminds me that I never actually introduced them to one another. I barely discussed him in front of her either, already keeping the two sides of my life separate.

“My cousin... he sort of got me into all of this.”

“Is he a part of it now?” She asks curiously. “Do you think he might help us?”

“I don't know,” I exclaim, that idea suddenly hitting me. He’s higher up in the organization now, he has much more pull than me, so if there is anyone out there who could give us a hand, it’s him. But I wonder if he will want to help me after all of this. I might be family, but it’ll reflect badly on him if he sticks up for me.

Then again, it could be worth a shot. I certainly don't have any better plans rolling around in my brain at this moment in time.

“But I will certainly look into it.”

She snuggles into my side, and I hold her closely against me, all the while my mind is reeling. Finally I have something to cling on to, finally I have some sort of option. I just hope and pray that it pans out for us...