Suddenly, Kira realized there were tears running
down her face. She couldn't stop it. She had told herself she
wouldn't let herself be weak, not in front of him. But now...
His eyes widened, his face somewhat alarmed. She
looked up to see his mouth tighten, and then watched as his tongue
ran quickly over his lips. Before she could stop him, his mouth was
covering hers, pulling her in. She felt his huge, powerful arms
holding her tightly against his chest.
Her lips were soft, pliant and she was so very
willing to let him take her softly with his hard mouth. The sailor
ran his hands up and down her back, keeping her tightly pinned to
his taut body.
Kira felt his kiss go deeper, playing softly at the
corner of her lips and then tempting her to open up for his
aggressive tongue. Kira felt heady, spinning in a whirling cloud of
sensations. She let her head rock back, as he placed his strong
hands at the nape of her neck. Then as quickly as it begun, it was
over.
“
I can't do this.” He pushed her
away with force, looking ashamed and confused. He whirled on his
heels, opened the door and disappeared up the stairs. Kira was left
shell-shocked, gaping at his back.
Confusion
Kira spent the night huddled in the fetal position.
Everything about her life since the docks was confusing, terrifying
even, but this, this was something different. He seemed so ashamed
to have been touching her. And she didn't know what to think.
Her mind noted the irony of spending so many nights
afraid that he would come to her bunk. And now that he had, well,
now she felt the ache of rejection.
She hugged herself tightly in the darkness,
wondering if she had lost herself. Wondering if it was right to
want a man that had bought her outright. From a pirate, no
less.
Kira's confusion led to an aching sense of
loneliness. She wanted him to want her. She wanted him to watch out
for her. The way her father used to. The way he no longer
could.
~~~~~~~~~~
Below deck, the sailors crowded around a worn
table, watching their Captain take on a burly sailor named Tiny.
Hands clasped tightly, both of the sailors roared and grunted,
wrestling against the strength of the other. Shouts and jeers went
up from both sides, as the tide tipped in Marcus' favor then
quickly turned back.
Half of the sailors looked delighted at the idea
that their fearless leader might find himself defeated in this
simple game, the other half cheered loyally for their captain.
Marcus could feel sweat trickle down his face, his
entire body tightened in defiance of Tiny's foreboding strength.
The intensity emanating from both men was enough to keep the room
alive with energy, and the sailors found the distraction from
everyday life at sea to be a welcome one.
Marcus struggled to keep his focus, trying not to
let the distraction that was living in his bunk get to him. He
watched Tiny's wide jaw tighten as he tried to flatten Marcus' hand
to the table. Marcus' vision blurred and he tried to blink away the
image of Kira's tear-stained face framed in perfect auburn
locks.
He could still feel the softness of her frame in
his arms, still remember the taste of her mouth. Guilt started to
seep in as he tried to push the memory away.
A wave of frustration moved through his whole body
and he let out a primal yell, “Aghhh!” This burst of untamed energy
took Tiny by surprise and Marcus pinned his arm to the table with a
defiant expression on his face.
The room let out a unified roar of shouts as
sailors reached out to pat Marcus on the back. Tiny nodded with a
bashful smile, accepting his inglorious defeat. The two shook
hands, sweatily acknowledging the other's efforts.
Slowly, the energy dulled as some sailors climbed
into their hammocks for sleep. Others gathered in small groups,
talking and playing games.
Marcus made his way to his hammock, a small
reminder of the comfortable bed that was currently occupied by a
slight, warm body. An ironic smile eased across his face, followed
by a slight grimace.
Marcus was troubled by his thoughts, troubled by
the temptation he felt when he looked into her eyes. Conflicting
feelings of guilt and desire overwhelmed him, as he tried to deny
the inexplicable pull he felt for the elegant dock girl.
“
Much on your mind, Cap'n?”
Johnson's thin voice cut through Marcus' reverie. He looked up to
see Johnson leaning against the wall, settled on the top of a
crate.
Johnson was a wiry fellow, with a bright and
cheerful perspective which often resulted in playful mockery from
the other men. Still, he was unapologetic about his view of the
world.
Marcus started gruffly, “Just the same as always,
Johnson. Too many fools to keep in line on this ship.” Marcus
looked up wryly to see Johnson smiling good-naturedly. “Ok,”
Johnson nodded,
“
Sure, Captain. I mean, all due
respect, but if I was looking all googly- eyed like you, all
because of sailors...” Johnson guffawed lightly, hoping he hadn't
overstepped. A quick glance at the Captain showed him he
had.
“
Sorry, sir,” Johnson scrambled,
worried his big mouth had finally done him in. He hopped off the
box to escape Marcus' angry glare but was stopped. “Johnson, sit
down,” the Captain came back forcefully. Johnson wiped his brow and
turned around.
Here we
go
, he thought.
Johnson sat on the crate and looked up anxiously.
“Sir...” Johnson was surprised to see Marcus's chiseled face fall
into his hands, as he tried to brush his hair out of his eyes.
Marcus leaned over, staring at the wooden floor below as if in a
trance. Johnson looked around awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
“
I didn't mean to overstep, Cap'n.
I imagine you're looking forward to seeing Lady Luciana again.”
Johnson gulped, trying to figure out where he stood. The Captain's
brooding attitude had him worried.
Marcus looked up distractedly, registering
Johnson's words slowly. “I don't know, Johnson.” Marcus tried to
smile, his thoughts whirling. “Luciana is a beautiful woman. Any
man would be lucky to be in my place.”
Confusion washed over his face and
Johnson looked at him with sudden understanding. He imagined few
men on the
Reliance
had been able to avoid the distracting beauty and gentle
demeanor of their female guest.
“
You're just not sure that's a
place you want to be.” Johnson said, questioningly. Johnson
scratched his head, trying to imagine having a choice between two
beautiful women. It was certainly nothing he'd ever have to worry
about, but he could see that the Captain's dilemma was tearing him
up.
“
Well, I don't know much, sir, but
I always try to go by that feeling in my gut.” Marcus looked up to
see Johnson treading carefully. “A whole lotta people will tell you
what's right for you, but you're the only one who can really answer
that question.”
Marcus gave Johnson a terse smile, nodding to him.
He felt the tension ease slightly, having acknowledged his
confusion. But answers seemed just as far as ever.
Johnson relaxed a bit on his crate. “I've gotta
girl back home. Her name's Sally.” He grinned with a child-like
delight, recalling the washer girl with the airy voice and
heart-shaped lips.
“
Now how I got her to pay
attention to me, I'll never know. But I'm sure glad she did.” The
boat rocked lightly back and forth, and a long strand of moonlight
made its way onto the floor through a porthole.
“
She's not fancy or anything like
that. No shiny dresses or balls for her, but that doesn't make her
less of a goddess to me. There's just this light in her eyes, and
when she talks, I feel like I'm the only man in the world.” Johnson
could feel himself blush, knowing that if any of the other sailor's
could hear him, he'd never hear the end of it. But he knew the
Captain would never mock him.
Marcus smiled. He saw the look of young love on
Johnson's face and it made him a bit jealous. The world he lived in
wasn't as simple as that. It was never just two people who wanted
to be together.
There were things to consider. His position in the
Naval Fleet, his reputation on land. He had been a reckless,
charming rogue for the longest time, melting women at the sight of
his mischievous smile.
Luciana had been the first woman to hold his
attention for longer than a month or two. He knew that anything
that happened between the two of them would be fodder for every
wagging tongue in London. And he was trying his best to be true and
honest. Upstanding. Leaving Luciana out to dry would only make a
mockery of them both.
Marcus sighed. He could feel something painful
tearing inside him. He was duty-bound to be honorable. Not a rogue.
So why did his thoughts betray him?
~~~~~~~~~~
Kira awoke one day to find the whole ship in a
stir. Excited yells and hollers from the men could be heard from
her place in the galley. Kira wondered what had everyone stirred
up. She waited patiently for Malcolm to show his bespectacled face,
then proceeded to ask. “What's all the excitement for?”
Malcolm looked at her with new awareness and then
smiled, as if remembering that she in fact did not actually belong
there. “Port. The ship is going to port soon. London.”
Kira drew a deep, startled breathe. She'd never
been to London but she'd heard such glorious things. She wondered
if she would be freed. Or was she free already? Kira couldn't be
sure but she felt an excitement and nervousness well up inside
her.
Malcolm smiled patiently, then nodded at a large
heap of carrots. “Stew..get to work.” Kira could feel her mind
racing at the possibilities. And even as she started to imagine
what London would be like, she felt a deep pang inside her chest.
Her father was dead.
She had tried so hard to convince herself it had
not been so, but there was no getting around it. He had died saving
an innocent from a fate worse then death. He was a brave, brave man
and she knew her mother would be proud. Kira felt a teardrop slide
silently down her face when someone cleared their throat behind
her.
Kira whirled around in embarrassment. Somehow
Malcolm had slipped out while she was lost in thought. At the door
to the galley, Marcus stood looking at her tentatively. Kira
brushed the tear from her cheek, trying not to roll her eyes in
frustration that he always seemed to find her crying.
“
Captain...” Kira said, mustering
up her most pleasant smile and voice. She tried her best to conceal
the confusion and hurt she felt over his rejection. Her mind kept
moving back to that awkward moment in her cabin, and Kira could
feel herself growing red and flustered.
Marcus noticed the bright flush of her cheeks and
felt his pulse start to race. He cleared his throat once again,
trying to ignore her state of distress.
“
Malcolm's told me you've become
an invaluable aid down here in the galley...” he started, hearing
the awkward cadence of his voice as he tried to make normal
conversation. He took a step forward leaning against the long table
in the middle of the room that was covered in
vegetables.
Kira used the table as a shield,
stepping back towards the far counter. “Oh, I'm just doing my job,”
Kira said curtly, trying her best to avoid eye contact.
I can get through this
,
she thought.
Just don't look at
him
.
Kira knew all bets were off if she let her gaze
lock on him, his gorgeous green eyes always bearing into her like
the heat of the summer sun.
“
Well, that's not what I hear...”
Marcus started with a playful smile. Despite himself, he felt the
urgent need to make her laugh, to fix this awkwardness that he had
created. Still, Kira persisted in keeping her eyes down, fixed on
an ever-dwindling carrot.
“
The men haven't complained about
the food for at least two weeks. That's a record.” He continued to
grin at her, knowing she had to look up at some point.
“
I...um,” Kira looked up to see
his crinkled eyes laughing merrily. The sight of his smile hit her
like a bucket of cold water, paralyzing her. She felt like she was
being drawn in, despite her staunch effort to avoid his
gaze.
Seeing his chance, Marcus flashed her the biggest
grin he could. “Complaining about the food is most sailors' chief
amusement. I can't tell you what you've done.”
Kira felt herself laughing despite herself. The
image of the rough sailors, looking downtrodden because they had
nothing to complain about seemed ridiculous to her. “Well, you
know, my mother taught me a lot. How to make the most of any kind
of food.”
Kira's eyes showed a flash of sentimentality as she
recalled her mother's slender hands sorting precious herbs for
their stew. Marcus' gaze settled on her lovely eyes, furrowed in a
brief moment of reflection. He felt his heart constrict for a
moment, too tightly to breathe.
Kira's eyes flashed up at him, realizing she had
revealed more than she ever intended. The tender look on his sharp,
chiseled face made her want to give up entirely. How could she
pretend? Didn't he know it hurt? She dropped her eyes just as
quickly, attempting to conceal her emotion.
“
And, you know, it's just not that
hard to outdo a man in the kitchen, “ Kira covered, trying to move
on from the breathless feeling in her chest. She turned her back to
him, reaching for more carrots in a slow and steady manner. She
watched her hands, trying to still the soft shaking of her fingers
as she resumed slicing.