Stalk Me (36 page)

“It sounds like a prison,” I mutter. 

“It was designed to keep terrorists out. Inside, you can't tell. It's a beautiful campus. The dean was in a bind a few years ago that I helped him out of. It's very difficult to get accepted, but I'm sure he'd make an exception. He owes me.”

Garrett turns to Mr. Moran. “I’d like to hear more about this school. That might be our best solution. It could allow her some semblance of normalcy while still keeping her safe.”

Brooklyn, who has been sitting quietly, finally speaks up. “Boarding school won't be so bad, Keats. I haven’t told you yet.” He sighs. “I didn't want to tell you until after your birthday, but I leave next week.”

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Is that why he wouldn’t commit all summer long? He planned this? He used me? 

I can't breathe again. 

I barely get out the words. “When were you going to tell me? After you'd left?”

I run into my room, slam my door, sit on my bed, and cry. 

Cry over Brooklyn, the boy I thought I was so in love with. The boy I spent all summer with thinking we were in love. I cry again for being so stupid about Vincent. I open my eyes and see another photo of my little sisters. In this one they are all dressed as princesses. 

I cry some more.

Go to boarding school
, the voice from the club tells me.
You’ll be safe. They’ll all be safe.

I can't put them in danger. I'd die before I'd let anything happen to those innocent smiles. 

I think about how Vincent picked me up. 

How he touched this dress. 

How he touched my skin. 

I run in my bathroom, turn on my shower, and stand under the hot water. 

Then I realize I’m still wearing my party dress.

 I rip it off, throw it to the ground, and drench my body in soap. 

And then I scrub my skin until it feels like it might fall off. 

When the hot water runs out, I grab a towel and dry myself off. 

I walk back into my room, take a deep breath, and pull myself together. 

I see the boots Cush gave me lying on my desk, so I pull them on my feet. 

These boots are the new me. 

The me that can handle anything. 

The me that is in charge of my life and isn’t going to let people tell me what to do anymore.

I grab a pair of jean shorts and the soccer shirt I was going to give back to Cush and pull them on. I'm cleaning up the mess that is my face when Brooklyn walks in.

“You don't have to explain,” I say icily. “I get it. You need to do what's right for you, and so do I.”

“That’s it? That’s all you're gonna say?” 

“Yeah. It’s all I can say. I encouraged you. Although,” I add snidely, “for someone who wants me to avoid the spotlight, I find it funny that you're heading straight toward it.”

“I’m not doing it for the money, the fame, or the spotlight. I'm doing it for me.” 

“And I'm going to boarding school, but I'm
not
doing it for me. I'm doing it for them.” I point to the picture of the girls.

Brooklyn nods his head, gets tears in his eyes, and pulls me into a hug. 

I hold my shoulders stiffly. I don't want to let him in. 

“Keats, this is not the way I wanted this to go down. I had an amazing summer with you. The best summer of my life.” 

“Is that why you didn’t ask me to be your girlfriend? Because you didn't want to have to break up with me? Because you’ve been planning this all along?” 

“You’ve been my girlfriend all summer, Keats. I thought when I told you I loved you that you knew that. And I didn’t plan it all summer. I mentioned it to my dad, and he got the sponsors all set up. He told me when we were in London that he thought it might all pan out, but I didn’t know for sure until we got home. I didn't tell you, because I didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”

“I didn't know how you felt.”

“How could you not know how I felt? I've told you a million fucking times this summer that I love you.”

“Well, maybe you need to learn to communicate better.”

“Maybe you need to grow up. Stop worrying so much about what people think and start worrying about what you think.”

I immediately get tears in my eyes.

I swear, I'm normally not such a crybaby.

“Don’t yell at me. I can't take it.”

He grabs me. Hugs me tight. 

I lay my head on his chest. The place that used to feel so wonderful now feels foreign. “So we were already going out?” 

“I told you, I love you. We were together because we wanted to be. That's all that mattered.”

“No, knowing where you stand is what’s important. And after tonight, I knew exactly where I stood with you. That’s why I broke up with you even though we weren’t actually going out. And I kissed Cush.” 

He purses his lips. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you kiss him?” 

“Because you didn't like me enough to want to date me. We had sex the other day, and you said
I'm glad we can chill together.
That’s why. So are you telling me that we were in a relationship? Like you were my boyfriend?” 

“Labels matter way too much to you. All the way down to the ones in your thousand dollar boots.”

I look down at the boots Cush gave me for my birthday. 

Be bold, Keatyn. 

I raise my chin up, stand up tall, and put my bitch on. “Lots of guys tell you they love you just for sex; even my mom, who is in a we’re-together-but-don’t-label-it relationship, asked me about my birthday. Wanted to know if you asked me out. If you gave me a ring or anything.”

“A ring?” 

“Not like engaged. Just something to show the rest of the world you wanted to be with me.” 

He flips his hand over and shoves his fresh tattoo in my face. “Tattoos last forever, Keats. I thought we would too.” 

I start crying again. 

“You should’ve known,” he pokes my chest, “in here. You don't know if I'm the one, do you?”

“I wanted you to be the one. I've loved you since the day I met you.” 

“You had a crush on me. That’s different than true love.” 

“And you’re telling me you feel that way about me? You can’t. You just decided to leave me for a
year
. You didn’t ask me to be your girlfriend, and you only like me when I’m your laid-back surfer girl. When I’m me, you don’t really like me that much. You want me in your world, but you don’t want to venture into mine.”

He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. “I know everything you’re saying is true. But I did love you. I mean, I do love you. I wasn’t lying. I just figured if fate wanted us together it would figure out a way, because I couldn’t figure it out myself. I couldn’t figure out how I could have my dream and you too.”

“Well, you pushed fate along. You didn’t dance with me. You didn’t try to be nice or meet any of my other friends. You make fun of my amazing shoes and called my gorgeous dress slutty.”

Brooklyn nods his head. He knows what I’m saying is true. “So what are we gonna do?” 

“You’re going on tour, and I’m going to boarding school. I’m going back out there.”

Mom looks surprised to see me back out in the family room. “It's late, Keatyn; why don't you get some sleep? You’ve been through a lot. We can figure this out in the morning.”

“Mom, I’m not going to be able to sleep. Probably ever again. Besides, it is morning. I feel better since I took a shower and talked to B. I finally know where we stand.”

I sit down next to Mr. Moran and hand him Tommy’s laptop. “Would you mind showing me the school’s website?” I ask politely. 

He types in an address and turns the screen to face me.  

I click through the site. 

“That looks very nice,” Mom says, hovering behind me. “Look at the gorgeous trees.”

Mr. Moran continues his sales job. “It's a beautiful campus—a lot like a college. And it's very exclusive. Most of the kids go on to Ivy League schools.” 

I click on the soccer page. 

Mom says, “Look, honey, you could still play soccer.” 

“Yeah, it looks nice. Mr. Smith, if you think it’s safe, I’d like to go there.”

My phone has been vibrating all night. While they are still talking about boarding school and clicking through the website, I take it out of my pocket, plop down on the couch, and read the texts. Lots of people have asked about the after-party. They wanted to know if it was rescheduled. 

So far, no one has asked about me. 

Then there are the texts from my best friends.

Vanessa:  I thought you picked Cush and that things would be back to normal this year, but canceling the after-party without any explanation is the last straw. Everyone has been asking me about it, like I’m your social secretary. I told them all to fuck off. I had your back on the Cush thing, but you can't be trusted anymore. I’m giving away your seat at our lunch table. You’re through.

Vanessa:  And p.s. I decided I’m going to keep Cush for myself. That boy is fine. 

RiAnne:  Vanessa says we’re done being friends. Just wanted you to know I seconded the motion. 

Cush:  Keatyn, are you okay? Someone said you were on the ground throwing up, and then they announced that the after-party was cancelled. Are you sick? Vanessa is telling everyone the surfer got you hooked on drugs and that you almost overdosed, but when we danced and stuff, you seemed fine. I tried to come to your house to check on you. I don’t know if they told you, but the same guard wasn’t at the gate, and they wouldn’t let me in. I’m worried about you. I love you.

I quickly reply to Cush. 

Me:  Can’t talk right now. Major family drama. You’re right. I’ve never done drugs. Never will. I threw up because I was very upset. Vanessa is pissed I canceled the after-party. Says it’s the last straw, that she’s giving away my place at our table . . . And that she’s going after you :(

Cush:  Well that was easier than we thought :) Now we can sit wherever we want. Hope everything’s okay. Call me as soon as you can. No matter how late. I’ll be waiting. I had so much fun tonight. And you told me you love me, so that makes it the best night of my life. Even better than the night at the hotel.

He’s so sweet. I start typing my reply.

Garrett practically rips my phone out of my hands. “What are you doing? You can’t have this.”

“I need to talk to my friends. Explain to them what’s going on.”

He sits down next to me. “This is going to be the hard part. You can’t talk to your friends. You can’t tell them anything.”

“I can’t just leave. I have to explain it to them. Like Cush. He and I . . . like, I can’t just disappear with no reason.”

“You have a very big reason why you need to do just that. Was he the other boy in the photos?”

“Yes, that was him.”

“What does Vincent think your relationship with him is?”

“Um, Cush was my date at one of the parties in the pictures, but I told Vincent he was just my friend . . . wait, do you think he’s in danger? Do you think my friends could be in danger?”

“I think he will use any means necessary to find you.”

“Last Vincent heard, I was dating Brooklyn. I told him about our summer in Europe.” I think about Cush and how happy I felt tonight. I lower my voice so only he can hear. “You don’t understand. I told Cush that I loved him tonight. We’re getting back together. Like, I finally figured out who the right guy for me was. Please don’t make me leave without talking to him. I can’t do that to him. He would be so hurt. He got hurt once because of me already. Please, I’ll lie to him if I have to, but I have to talk to him. I have to.” 

Garrett pulls up my last text and shakes his head. “You already told him too much.”

“People are saying I’m a drug addict.”

“The more false rumors about you the better.”

Tears start streaming down my face. 

Garrett leans closer to me. “You care a lot about him, right?”

I nod. “He loves me. All of me.”

“Why did you agree to boarding school? Why, when your mom wanted you to go somewhere with them, did you agree to go off on your own?”

“Because I’m afraid for my little sisters. I’d rather leave them and never see them again than have anyone hurt them.”

“You should be afraid for Cush too. If you love him, you won’t talk to him. I know it’s hard. It’s awful, but he can’t know. Sometimes when people enter witness protection we have to make their families believe they’re dead. We hold real funerals, the whole deal. If killers see real emotion from the family, the family is safe from harm.”

“Are you going to say I died?”

“No. If Abby Johnston’s daughter died it would make the news. We have to keep the press in the dark. In a few days we’ll have a plan worked out. I’m personally going to check out this school and make sure the security is good enough.”

I wipe my tears and smile a bit. “Thank you.”

Mom sits down next to me and wraps her arm around my shoulder. 

Garrett says, “And when it’s all over, we’ll tell everyone the truth.”

I say softly, “And when will that be? After he succeeds in kidnapping me, or when I’m dead?”

“Keatyn Elizabeth!” Mom screeches. “Don’t you dare say such a thing.”

“It’s what everyone is thinking, Mom.”

Tommy steps in. “Abby, try to stay calm. She’s right. We all thought it, and we all pray that never happens.” He turns to face me. “You seem better. More sure of yourself. You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you? You have that same stubborn look Gracie always gets.”

“Yes, I have. It feels like the right thing to do.”

Garrett says, “We’ll figure this all out. If you go to boarding school, which I think is an excellent idea, you can’t go as yourself. Mr. Moran,” he turns to Damian’s dad, “you can’t even tell your friend who she really is. You can't tell anyone who you are, Keatyn. Not only can you not use your phone, but I also want a list of all your social media profiles and passwords. We’ll change your passwords, so you won’t be tempted to get on, and we’ll monitor them.”