Splendid (33 page)

“Oh, Alex,” Emma moaned, placing her face in her hands. “I'm so confused. I think I've been confused since the moment I met you.”

“You've been confused?” Alex said, turning around as his lips twisted into a wry smile. “You've turned my entire life upside down. Do you know how many damned balls I've been to in the last two months?”

At her blank stare he continued, “More than I've been to in the last ten years! I don't like
ton
parties. I hate
ton
parties. But I went to all of them—gladly—just to be near you.”

Emma blinked up at him through watery eyes. “I wish I knew what to do,” she said sadly. “Could— could you just—” She bit her lip, fumbling for words. “Could you just hold me? Just for a little while?”

Alex's head rose at her request, and his heart began to beat rapidly. He walked across the room, sat down next to her, and wrapped his arms around her, his lips settling on the tender skin just next to her ear.

Emma closed her eyes, lost in the comfort and solace she found in his arms. When she found her
voice, it was very small and quite uneven. “I think that if you keep holding me, maybe I can forget how much I'm hurting.”

Alex tightened his hold. “I'm so sorry, Emma,” he murmured. “So very sorry.”

Emma nodded, finally allowing the tears she'd been holding back all evening to trickle down her cheeks. “I know. And I'm sorry that I worried you so much tonight. I'm not sorry I did what I did,” she added with a sniffle and a sheepish smile. “But I am sorry that I worried you.”

Alex crushed her to him. “Oh God, Emma,” he said hoarsely. “Please don't ever put me through something like that again.”

“I won't. I'll try not to.”

Alex drew back so that he could see her face. “I've made you cry,” he whispered, touching her cheek. “I'm so sorry.”

Within the warm haven of Alex's arms, Emma let loose all the tears which had been brimming up within her for the past two days and which she had valiantly fought to conceal from the concerned eyes of her relatives. As each tear fell, it seemed to her that a weight had been lifted from her soul, and she slowly felt the tension leave her body. At some point her tears trickled to a halt, and Alex laid her sleepy body down upon his massive bed. With a contented smile on his face, he slipped off her shoes, pulled the covers up, tucked them under her chin, and kissed her goodnight.

Chapter 19

A
few hours later, Emma's eyelids fluttered open, and she groggily took in her surroundings. She took a deep breath and let out a catlike yawn, blinking a few times as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. A faint smell of musk hung in the air, and she sniffed a few times, unused to such a scent in her bedroom. Taking another breath of the heady aroma, she yawned again, squeezing her eyes shut as she twisted her body around, turning onto her side. With a soft sigh, she opened her eyes again. And then she opened them wider, finding herself mere inches away from Alex's face.

That was when she realized that the heavy weight across her hips was Alex's leg. She sucked in her breath, startled by the intimacy.

“Oh my,” she breathed, holding herself very still, lest she wake the man sleeping next to her. She hadn't any experience with this sort of situation. If she moved, she'd probably wake him up. On the other hand, her heart was beating so rapidly she knew that there was no way she'd be able to fall back asleep.

It seemed to her that she probably ought to scream. Or faint. That, she imagined, was what a well-brought-up lady was supposed to do in such a situation. But then again, a well-brought-up lady wasn't supposed to
be
in such a situation. Anyway,
she didn't really see how screaming would solve anything. And swooning seemed a rather stupid endeavor; one couldn't really
do
anything while unconscious, and once she awoke, she'd be in the same place in which she'd started. Besides, Emma thought wryly, she really wasn't much good at fainting without a sufficient blow to the head.

There would be a scandal, she supposed, unless Alex and her family behaved with the utmost discretion. Actually, there was a very good chance that Uncle Henry and Aunt Caroline hadn't yet noticed her absence. When they left for Lady Mottram's ball, Emma had let them think that she was retiring early with a headache. They had been very worried about her because she had seemed so depressed and tired for the past couple of days. They told Emma to get some rest, and she was sure they wouldn't bother her when they returned. Ned would know, of course. And Belle, too, who would almost certainly ferret out the information from her brother the minute she got back home.

She'd be all right as long as she made it home before sunrise, when the servants started going about their daily chores. Her cousins had probably left the front door open for her. She smiled wryly. Belle and Ned were probably waiting for her in the front parlor, taking turns keeping watch through the window so they could let her in. They wouldn't want to miss whatever story Emma offered to explain her lengthy absence.

Emma twisted her head and squinted at the dock that sat on Alex's nightstand. It was quarter to four in the morning. Henry, Caroline, and Belle had probably returned from Lady Mottram's sometime in the last couple of hours. She still had plenty of time. It didn't really matter if she left now or in a
half an hour. Whatever damage she had incurred was already done.

Having duly justified her silence, Emma was content to lie in the big bed, studying Alex's face. He looked very boyish while he slept. His dark lashes were sinfully long as they rested against his cheeks, and Emma found herself wishing, not for the first time, that she had lashes like that to frame her own eyes. His hair was rumpled by sleep, and his lips were slightly parted as he breathed steadily.

Alex had thrown a bare arm over the blankets, and Emma could see the very top of his chest. She had never before seen him without a shirt, and she flexed her hand, longing to place it on his chest just to see what it felt like. Her eyes followed his skin to where it disappeared under the covers. He had definitely taken his shirt off, but what about his breeches? Emma gasped. Dear Lord, he wasn't
naked?

The leg that lay across her hips suddenly felt very strange. Emma caught her lower lip between her teeth as she tried to figure out a way to wriggle out from under him without waking him up. Alex made a sleepy sound as he shifted his weight. He rolled toward her, and Emma found herself even more firmly pinned underneath his leg. There seemed to be only one way to determine the state of his undress. Taking a deep breath, she slipped her hand beneath the covers and slid it down until she reached the soft springy hair on his knee. Emma quickly pulled her hand away. He definitely wasn't wearing breeches.

If he wasn't wearing a shirt, and he wasn't wearing breeches, there was only one other place he could have remained clothed so as to protect her modesty. Emma swallowed. She certainly wasn't
going to slide her hand under the covers and touch him
there
. She wasn't even entirely sure what to expect.

She tried a different tactic. Very slowly and very carefully, she lifted up the covers, taking great care not to disturb Alex. Once the blanket was higher than her eyes, she peered in, but she couldn't make anything out amidst all the shadows. Summoning all her courage, she dipped her head beneath the cover, still holding it far enough up to let in the slight glimmer of moonlight that bathed the room. It was still too dark to see anything. Emma grimaced and resigned herself to defeat. If she moved her head any further under the covers, she might crash into something, and she certainly didn't want that. She slowly unfolded herself, returning her head to its original position on the pillow beside Alex.

His eyes were open.

Emma caught her breath and looked closer. His eyes were definitely open, and even in the darkness of the room, she could see humor lurking in those green depths.

“I did not remove my undergarments, if that's what you were trying to discern,” he said, and Emma swore she could hear a smile in his voice. “I'm not a complete cad,” he continued.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“You fell asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. You're quite adorable when you're sleeping.”

“So are you,” she could not help saying.

“Thank you,” he said, just as sincerely. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long.”

“You were warm enough?”

“Oh, yes,” Emma said mildly, marveling at the
absurdity of her situation. Here she was, lying next to a man in bed, in
his
bed, at nearly four in the morning, and they were conversing as politely as if they were in a drawing room. She sighed, letting her gaze float across the ceiling. “We'll have to be very careful when you take me home,” she finally said. “If we're very quiet, we won't wake anyone up, and we'll be able to avoid a scandal.”

“Don't worry about it,” Alex said offhandedly. “I'll take care of everything.”

Emma rolled onto her back. Alex made no attempt to move his leg, and it settled into the crook between her leg and hip. “It's very cozy in here,” he remarked. “I'm not used to sharing this bed with anyone.”

“Oh, really, Alex,” Emma scoffed. “You've had scores of mistresses. It's common knowledge.”

Alex grinned widely. “Jealous, are we? Now that's a good sign.”

“I'm not jealous.”

“As it happens, I haven't had
scores
of mistresses. Even I'm not man enough for that. I admit that I haven't lived the life of a monk, but I haven't kept a mistress for quite some time now.”

Emma turned her face to his, her eyes questioning.

“It's been at least two months now, I imagine.”

That was just about as long as they had known each other. Emma was absurdly pleased.

“And,” he continued, “I certainly never brought any of them here. You, my darling, are the first to grace my bed.”

“You make it sound as if we have done something that we haven't.”

Alex declined to comment; he just took her arm and pulled her to him. “You're too far away,” he murmured.

Emma gasped as she was pressed up against the hard length of his body. Cocooned under the bedcovers, his skin had grown very warm, and the heat was melting through her clothes. “Maybe,” she allowed. “But now I think I'm a bit too close.”

“Nonsense,” Alex sighed, sinking his hands into her thick hair. “You smell lovely.”

“Rose-scented soap,” she said shakily.

“I think I love rose-scented soap.” He pressed his lips against the tip of her nose. “I also think you have far too many clothes on.”

“Now
that
I know is not true.”

“Will you hush?” Alex moved his lips to her face and kissed her eyes shut. Emma felt her resolve begin to melt, and she realized that she wanted to be seduced every bit as much as he wanted to seduce her. As he continued to rain light kisses across her face, she tried to rationalize her position. She knew what she was doing was wrong. Or at least everyone told her it was wrong. But something inside her told her that this was very right, that she belonged here with Alex, lying in his arms. It was as if all the warmth in the world had accumulated inside of him and was now shining out of his emerald eyes onto her. And was she really such a sinner for loving him so much? Emma didn't think so. She deserved this one moment of bliss. Her decision made, she took a deep breath and tilted her face up to his, parting her lips slightly when his mouth settled on hers.

Alex sensed the change in her instantly, and the desire that he'd been almost afraid to feel rocked through his body once he realized that she wasn't going to reject him. “Oh God, Emma. I want you so much,” he moaned. “I've wanted you for so long.” As he began to unbutton the man's shirt she was
still wearing, he realized that his fingers were shaking, and he smiled sheepishly, feeling very much like a green boy. As each button slipped out of its hole, Alex got the feeling that he was unwrapping a delicate treasure. His breath caught in his throat, and he realized that he had never before felt this kind of nervous, exhilarating anticipation. Finally, the last button popped free, and he parted the shirt, revealing a silky chemise that bared more than it hid.

He placed his strong hands on her midriff and slowly pushed the chemise upward, the silky material rubbing sensually against Emma's glistening skin. She shivered, unable and unwilling to contain her response to the strange and beautiful feeling of Alex's hands through the thin silk of her chemise. Dear Lord, how she wanted him, wanted this. Her entire body felt aflame, burning up with weeks of unfulfilled need.

Alex paused when the bottom of the chemise was settled just below her breasts. He raised his eyes to hers, offering her one last chance to stop him, but all he saw in those violet pools was desire and trust. “Sit up for a moment,” he said huskily. Emma did so, and he pulled the chemise up over her head, sucking in his breath as her full breasts were finally revealed to him. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured, gazing upon her with reverence. “So beautiful.”

Emma flushed under his intense gaze, her skin tingling in anticipation. When his hand settled around her breast, she gasped, barely able to comprehend the sensations that shot down to her abdomen. And then he squeezed, and she knew she was lost. “Oh Alex,” she moaned, awash in pleasure. “Kiss me. Please kiss me.”

Alex's chuckle came from deep in his throat. “As
you wish, my darling.” He leaned down and captured her rosy nipple between lips, sucking gently as his hand continued to massage her other breast.

Emma nearly screamed. “Oh my God!” she burst out. “That wasn't what I meant.”

“Mmm, I know, but it's very nice, isn't it?”