Soul Crossed (17 page)

Tommy whimpers, and I tighten my grip around his body. Cam’s face is flushed with excitement as he waits for my admiration. I feel ill. There’s absolutely no mistaking that this is meant for a human being.

“Wicked,” I say. He takes the compliment and sits back on his heels.

“It was difficult to make. I had to steal the needles from my mom’s hospital a few at a time, and it wasn’t easy making up excuses to go visit.”

“Understandable.” I can’t seem to get out more than a word at a time.

“Are you ready to try it out?” he asks. For a minute I think he expects me to climb in. Maybe he did before Keira told him Grace broke my heart, too. But then he gets up and pulls Tommy from my grasp. I should have known. It’s almost as good as putting Grace herself in that thing.

“It’s not designed for a dog,” I say. I can’t think of another argument.

“It’s just a dry run.” He puts the dog in the box and ties it down with the waist belt. I’m shocked at the level of obedience Tommy displays. He only whimpers louder, never tries to bite or bark. I wonder if Grace glamoured the dog to behave for Cam. My hand twitches.

“Too bad animals can’t beg,” he says.

“What?”

“If Tommy here were human, he would do anything to get me to stop. I could give him hope and then take it away. It’s a whole different level of suffering.”

So physical torture isn’t enough for him. I fight back the bile that rises in my throat.

“The dog’ll do for now,” he says, and I meet Tommy’s eyes. Just like the rabbit, I get the sense he knows precisely what’s happening.

Cam goes to close the lid, and I jump from my seat. I can’t let this happen. It’s one thing to shoot a rabbit with an arrow. But this is evil. Pure, unadulterated evil.

“Something wrong?” he asks, pausing to look up at me. Is that contempt in his eyes? “Stomach too weak?” He’s goading me. Bad move, Camden. Bad move.

His expression melts from superiority to horror at the glint he sees flash in my eyes. Not so sure now, are you, Cam? Not so full of yourself? I grin. But as I step forward, with every intention of tearing the device apart—and maybe Camden, too—I feel a familiar slicing pain inside my stomach. I double over instantly, barely managing to fall back on the bed instead of into the box.

The pain stops almost immediately, but I am still shaking all over. I grimace and roll toward Cam, not wanting him anywhere out of my sight. He looks confused but far from concerned. What can I do? The Boss is watching.

“I’m not feeling too well,” I say.

“You looked pretty weird there for a second,” Cam agrees. “Your eyes…but it must be the light.”

“Yeah, that lava lamp doesn’t exactly brighten up the room too well.” He nods and turns his attention back to Tommy, who gazes up at me as though begging for help.

I’m sorry, Bud. It’s either you or me
.

I’m waiting for my cue to go on for our final performance. I’m dressed in a sweeping, petal-pink gown Miss Adams rented from a local costume shop to replace the damaged one. I feel like a crystal vase on the edge of a shelf in the middle of an earthquake. I haven’t seen or heard from Josh since he ran into his bedroom nearly twenty-four hours ago. I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling, and all I want to do is hold him in my arms and tell him we will find a way.

I’m convinced the problem is that I’ve been going it alone. We need to work together, pool our knowledge. Then the solution will present itself. Because I’m certain there is a solution, I just don’t know what it is yet.

Shelby calls “places,” and I hurry to the wings. My heart lightens at the sight of Josh. He stands on the opposite side speaking with Shelby, his back to me. His replacement rental is a size too small and hugs him like a bodysuit. The heat rises to my cheeks as memories of the night before flood through my mind. It’s all I can do to stop from running across the stage and tackling him where he stands.

He turns, and a lump rises in my throat. His face is like a ghost. His skin is paler than usual, and his eyes lack their mischievous shine. I have no idea what has happened, why he felt he had to run from me last night, but I vow right now that it doesn’t matter. That whatever it is that’s eating away at him doesn’t matter. If I can accept the fact that he is a Demon, I can accept anything. And I’ll make him accept
that
.

Numb. That’s what I am. I go through the motions, reciting my lines on autopilot. I feel like a sleepwalker, wading through life while not really experiencing it. The only thing that breaks through my cocoon is Grace. When I touch her, when it comes time to kiss her, that familiar tingle pulses through my body, bringing me back to life. But the moment she lets go is the moment it fades, and the world is gray once again.

I stayed with Cam all day. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t planning on hurting her again. I know it would be all but impossible unless he had another cursed blade, yet still I worried, afraid that if anyone could manage it, it would be him. The sick bastard.

Turns out his high from torturing Tommy proved enough to keep his mind off of her. I wonder now, though, as he watches from his darkened booth, what he’s thinking. Is he wallowing in self-pity, eager to strike at her again? Or is he content to watch me suffer through kissing the woman who’s supposedly spurned us both?

Suddenly Romeo doesn’t seem as much of a wuss. His life would be a living Hell without Juliet, and he couldn’t take it. Of course, the real tragedy would be him ending up with Satan, tortured for all eternity, his true love forever out of reach.

The standing ovation seems over the top, but I smile and bow with the rest of the cast, accepting a bouquet of scarlet roses from Miss Adams. I receive congratulations from what feels like a hundred people, each time being pulled farther and farther from Josh. I keep him in my sights the best I can. He’s going through the motions, too, accepting his praise, bestowing his smile on all the fawning high school girls. But that sparkle still eludes his eyes, and the longer I wait, the more concerned I become.

I spy Cam, still sitting in the tech booth, feet propped up on the controls. I make eye contact and a chill spreads down my back. I make my way up toward him, stopped by another dozen admirers on the way. He waits patiently, curious, I think, to see what I’ll say. I’m still not sure myself. All I know is that I can’t give up. I’m not ready to abandon Josh, and we could be pulled apart if I lose Cam. Besides my personal issues, the world is at stake.

“Hi,” I say when I reach the booth.

“Hey.”

“So, last night was kind of crazy with my passing out and all, and I haven’t really had the chance to talk to you since—you know.”

“Yeah. I know.” He isn’t going to make this easy.

“Well, I feel pretty bad about where we left things. I don’t want to lose you, Cam.” I let him see the sincerity in my eyes, being careful not to glamour him. He has to come around on his own. Besides, I mean it. I can’t lose his soul. I won’t.

“Are you willing to give us a try?” he asks.

“I can’t date you, Cam. It wouldn’t be fair, because I’d just be leading you on.” I have to be firm on this point. He winces but stays in his seat.

“You already did that,” he says.

“I didn’t mean to. I never meant to hurt you.”

“And I never meant to hurt my sister. But that doesn’t matter. She’s just as dead.”

“Cam—” I reach out to touch him, but he pulls away and stands. I feel a presence behind me and turn to find Keira standing in the doorway.

“Hi, Cam. You ready for our night out? I can’t wait to show you how a real woman parties.” My arm burns when she brushes past me, and it hurts, unlike the pleasant spark I feel with Josh. I can’t stop my mouth from hanging open as she laces her arms through his and smiles admiringly up at Cam.

“I can’t wait,” he says and then he kisses her. And it isn’t a peck, either, it’s a full-on, tongue-wrestling, drool-exchanging, shouldn’t-be-done-in-public kind of kiss.

I turn and run, but I feel his eyes on me all the way across the auditorium. I nearly bump into Josh as I tear around the curtain toward the dressing rooms. His strong arms catch me and hold me. I melt into him, crying onto his chest.

“What is it, Grace?” he asks. His voice is so gentle, so full of love. I look up into his eyes. What was once a brilliant blue, beautiful and fierce as the ocean, is now foggy and polluted like a puddle on the side of the freeway.

“Lets go somewhere and talk,” I say. Tears snake down my cheeks, and I let them fall where they may.

“Wherever you want,” he says.

“Your place,” I say. Cam and Keira are going out, so we should have the place to ourselves. It’s all I can come up with, really. “Just let me get changed.”

I hate to leave him, even for a moment, I am that worried. Everything is crumbling around me, and no matter what I do I can’t seem to keep any of it from slipping through my fingers. My chance at visiting my family, finding a way to save Josh, not to mention saving Cam’s eternal soul. I continue to cry as I switch back to my own dress and take off the thick stage makeup that is now streaked all over my face.

Josh waits for me in the exact spot I left him, looking like a lost puppy. I take his hand gently, like I’m afraid it might shatter, and lead him to my car. He doesn’t say a word, just watches me all the way there.

“What?” I ask.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Josh, I don’t know what happened last night.” I fight back the embarrassment and press on. “But I want you to know that I choose this. I choose you. And there is nothing you can say or do that will make me change my mind.”

“Grace—”

“Let me finish. I believe in you, Josh. I can see how this whole thing is tearing you apart, and I will not be the cause of that. I accept you as you are, and I will do everything in my power to help you through this. I want to be with you, no matter what.”

We sit in silence while I pull into a spot and throw on the brake. I get out of the car and wait for him to join me, shivering in the frozen December air. The stars are hidden tonight behind a blanket of clouds. I don’t need to look up to know they are the same heavy iron ones that have been looming above us all day, threatening the first storm of the season.

As if reading my mind, a single snowflake flitters down to my jacket sleeve, glinting bright and white beneath the parking lot lights before melting into nothingness. Josh is by my side, and he squeezes my hand tight. I feel hope spread through me, filling some of the hole that’s been eating away at me since this morning. Together we go inside.

The moment we walk through the door I know this is it. I can’t explain how I know—maybe it’s the way Cam’s gone off the deep end—but tonight is my last chance to be with Grace forever. I didn’t think I could do it until she gave me that speech in the car. She basically admitted she would give anything to be with me. Even her soul.

We peel off our coats and scarves and settle onto the couch. Memories of how we lay here last night set my body on fire. I long to touch her again, to feel her. I reach out and stroke her cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into my hand.

“You wanted to talk,” I say. I won’t blow this. I’ll take it slow.

“Cam is with Keira,” she says. I can see how the idea disturbs her. I won’t tell her about her dog. It would destroy her.

“She’ll probably seduce him,” I say. No news flash there.

“I’m supposed to be saving him.” Anguish pulls her back. “But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make it happen.”

“I’m not sure it’s possible anymore,” I say. I’m as gentle as I can be, but I have to let her know. If she gives up on this crusade of hers it will save her heartache and pain. But it doesn’t really matter. She won’t have to worry anymore after tonight.

“If it weren’t possible to save him, I couldn’t still be here.” Her eyes blaze like golden suns, and it takes my breath away. I can’t hold back any longer. I lean toward her for a kiss, and she responds, drawn to me with irresistible force. She’s as hungry as I am.

“Are you sure you want this?” I ask, pulling away from her lips. I know she doesn’t entirely understand what she’s giving up, but she continues to kiss my cheek, my chin, my neck in response, and I lean back into the cushions, closing my eyes and letting her. I force myself to try once more.

“Grace, if we do this, we don’t know what will happen…” It’s the closest I can come to telling her. I’m selfish…and that’s why I’m the Demon.

She places her mouth around my earlobe and tugs with her teeth. A moan escapes my lips. Her breath is hot and sends waves of pleasure traveling down to my toes.

“We’ll find out together,” she whispers. When she moved back to exploring my mouth, I have no more opportunity to hint at the consequences. Before I know what I’m doing, her dress is off, my lips never leaving hers. I run my hands down her back and she gasps with desire.

I sweep her into my arms, and she smiles up at me, drawing her hands over my shoulders. She doesn’t wait until we reach the bedroom to start unbuttoning my shirt. By the time I lay her on the mattress she has relieved me of it entirely. The way she bites her bottom lip drives me mad.

I force myself to go slow, to enjoy every inch of her until we are entwined on the bed, our remaining clothes spread out around us like a fan. There is no way to stop it now, I am lost to our passion and can hold back no longer.
For us. Forever
, I tell myself, repeating it like a mantra in my mind, and together with Grace, I finally touch Heaven.

I know the meaning of the word ecstasy now, and I cannot say I’m sorry. For a few precious minutes, I am relieved of all worry, of all thought, and there is only Josh and me, joined together. I wish this feeling could last forever. Not wanting it to end, I curl into his side, stroking his chest and lacing my leg over his.