Authors: Katlyn Duncan
Each time I had seen Jackson, shortly afterward I had experienced a memory. The wooden owl flashed before my eyes. When I’d touched the owl I had seen the memory of looking for it with Jackson.
My eyes opened and I stared at the space Cooper had just occupied. When I saw him again memories of my after-life had flooded back to me. Maybe I needed some sort of trigger to bring my memories back?
Cooper’s shadow appeared under the door breaking me from my trance and I headed quickly to the bathroom.
The tile was cool against my bare feet, so I sprinted across the floor stepping onto a rug near the vanity. As my feet warmed up, I glanced around the bathroom. Even without memories, I knew I had never been inside this room. The servants’ quarters had been strictly off limits, but I was more than surprised by the size of the room. I’d thought Ally’s bathroom was excessive, but this one made it seem miniature in comparison. The high ceilings magnified the size of both rooms and the adornments were simple, yet elegant. Paintings clung to the walls and each piece of furniture was intricately carved, making them decorative pieces themselves. To one side of the bathroom was a claw-foot tub enclosed by a curtain.
Looking into the large mirror over the vanity I noticed that my soul form had mirrored my body exactly with one minor difference. The Prognatum favored the looks and otherworldliness of the Caeleste, something I never found in myself even after finding out I was one of them, but the reuniting of body and soul had brought back those similarities. Even though my brunette hair was disheveled from sleeping, it shone against the sunlight streaming in through the windows. I leaned on the chair in front of the vanity, bringing my face closer to the glass. My blue eyes were brighter and full of life, reminding me of Leha.
My chest tightened and pinpricks touched the corners of my eyes. Before I knew it, the girl in the mirror was blurry and hot tears ran down my cheeks. In soul form I didn’t have all the functions that a human did, crying included. I had been devastated over Leha’s death but now that I was human again, with it came the rush of emotions. My shoulders shook as sobs caught in my throat, making it hard to breathe. I sank to the floor, my tears dropping onto the tiles in tiny puddles.
Strong arms appeared under my arms and lifted me to my feet. Cooper’s gray eyes searched mine as he tightened his grip, pressing me against him. I buried my face into his shirt, feeling the vibration of the soothing sounds in his chest and felt his fingers comb through my hair while I cried. Each stroke unraveled the tight knot in my chest.
Cooper murmured something against my hair and I was transported to the warehouse once more. The sadness that had crippled me slowly turned to burning hatred as I replayed Hannah taking Leha from me. My chest ached. I pushed away from Cooper, slightly embarrassed and swiped my hands over my cheeks, before mustering up a brave smile. “I should, um—” I pointed to the shower.
His eyes narrowed as if judging my ability to make it there in one piece.
In response, I went to the shower, leaned over the tub and turned the nozzle. When the water was warm against my hand, I glanced over my shoulder to find Cooper was gone.
***
I took special care to wrap a towel and robe around me after I exited the shower in case Cooper surprised me again. Pressing a hand into the crook of my neck, I stretched. The pressure of the water had pounded the remaining tension out of my body. My limbs were light and the contrasting cool air outside the shower sent a shiver across my skin. I plucked a comb from the vanity and tilted my head to the side, sliding the teeth through the strands, pulling the roots of now luminous and shiny hair.
A soul really did do a body good. Especially a Prognatum one. I remembered how lifeless this body looked in the freezer and now I was living in it. And I would for a long time. A lightness in my stomach sent waves of satisfaction through me. I never would have dreamed that I would have been human again, at least, not a human with all of my memories.
Well, some of them.
I ventured out into the bedroom. Cooper stood by the window, looking lost in thought. He lifted his head as the door knob lightly bumped the wall, but his gaze was still far away. Shaking his head, he ushered me to a closet. I opened the two doors revealing an extensive collection of dresses. I reached out to touch the soft fabric, one or two hazy memories surfacing as I picked through them. These were my clothes.
Maybe Cooper had been right and it would just take a little time for me to remember, especially if I had items from my past to remind me.
“Do we have anything less…formal?” I inquired, sifting through the seemingly never-ending supply of dresses.
Cooper smirked. “I figured you wouldn’t be happy with Sophia’s choices.” He walked toward the bed and kneeled beside it, momentarily disappearing. I walked to the bed just as he stood up holding a suitcase that he placed on the bed and unzipped, revealing a set of more modern clothes.
“Ally had a little too much fun shopping for you.”
Reaching into the case, our fingers brushed and I pulled my hand away as he stepped back, allowing me to see the clothes. As I picked through them, the touch of his fingers still lingered on my skin.
I lifted a pair of jeans from the case, sizing them up against my body. Underneath were several pairs of underwear. I threw the jeans back onto the case and spun around, my face flushing.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Cooper muttered and disappeared.
I stared at the empty space next to me. With my new status and body I wouldn’t have access to a soul’s quick transportation method, at least not until my transformation. I was reduced to human status, which was a weakness, especially if I was to somehow infiltrate the Shadowed. Wiggling my fingers, I tested the power within me but it was silent. I assumed that was all part of the human package.
Picking through the underwear and bras that Ally had chosen for me, I piled the robe and towel onto the bed and slipped on the least lacy underwear that I could find.
“Thanks for that, Ally,” I mumbled. I’d definitely have to do my own shopping from now on. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a fitted tank top I went to the standing mirror near the bathroom and inspected my outfit.
Not bad for a new human.
For a century I’d only worn the white Soul Collecting outfit and more recently the black Guard uniform. I’d tried on Ally’s clothes only a few times on our last mission but it was different to wear something that actually fit.
With thoughts of the mission, a bubble of regret and sadness resurfaced, threatening to drown me again. I swallowed it down, bringing forth another rumble in my stomach. It was time for food. As I made my way to the door, I remembered Ally’s housekeeper, Marie, and her cooking. I hoped she and Henry were safe, wherever they were.
I opened the door and Cooper came to stand beside me. My gaze flitted to a painting on the wall behind him. It depicted a horse riding through a forest. Another sudden barrage of memories struck me and I fell against Cooper, too distracted to worry about how embarrassed I felt.
Memories of Gemma and I playing in these halls when we were kids flooded my vision. My mind filled with memories of my sister and me along with shorter memories of the staff members catching us in their sacred space.
“Are you okay?” Cooper asked.
I nodded, grinning widely. “I remembered a few more things.” I pointed. “Gemma and I knocked over that painting once and it was an intense ten minutes getting it back on the wall before someone saw.” I clasped my hands over my mouth, laughing at my memory of our clumsy fingers grappling with the frame.
Cooper chuckled. “Anything else?” I nodded, but nothing important to the mission.
As we wandered the halls, my legs regained their proper strength, but Cooper held me tight against him, mumbling something about not wanting me to fall again.
I glanced up and the corner of his mouth twitched. “Let’s just get you downstairs in one piece.”
“Okay,” I said, my heart picking up an extra beat at our proximity. The only time Cooper had ever touched me while I was human was through Ally. It seemed that all my senses had been heightened after I returned to my own body. Or maybe I just needed to get a grip! Cooper was a loyal friend and protector, I had to focus on the mission and not the way his eyes mirrored what confusing sensations I felt inside.
Each step was easier as the memories slowed down. “Gemma and I. We used to play here.” I smiled. “Away from our parents.”
I could almost see a younger Gemma skipping down the hall as if she were a superimposed memory against the backdrop of the present. Suddenly I couldn’t help but smile, until I remembered my theory on bringing my memories back.
“Jackson,” I choked on the name of my betrayer and I felt Cooper stiffen. “He gave me a small wooden owl when I was inside Ally. It had been a gift in my human life. It showed me a memory of when we first met.” Cooper didn’t know the real reason why I went to see Jackson one of the nights I was inside Ally. The night I realized I’d done something horrible in my past. “I need a trigger to recall my memories. When I saw you for the first time after waking up I remembered the After.”
Cooper listened, even though I noticed the clenching and unclenching of his jaw. He’d despised Jackson for a long time and had just started to trust him, as I had. “That’s something to bring up with Sophia.”
I nodded. We walked silently down the hall, our footsteps muffled by the carpet. Oil paintings adorned the walls, each sparking memories, filling in the gaps in my head. I ran my finger across a smooth table, the glass surface glistening against the light filtering through the high windows. A tall vase with a bouquet of flowers stopped me in my tracks.
“My mother insisted on fresh flowers throughout the house.” I lightly pinched the silky petals between my fingers. The thought of my mother brought forward the last night I saw her. Even though she was my step-mother, she’d been there for me since I was a child, filling in the motherly role for my father and myself. She’d been so frantic that night, witnessing both daughters’ deaths in the same night.
I swiped at my eyes and tugged Cooper along, away from the hall and my haunting memories.
Cooper led me down the main stairwell and I gripped the bannister for support, flickers of memories of Gemma and me sliding down them during our childhood games.
“Are you okay?” Cooper asked.
I exhaled a breath I’d been holding. “Just taking it all in.”
We rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs and stopped at the door to the dining room.
Cooper dropped his arm and leaned closer, our faces inches from each other. I clamped my lips together, very aware that I’d forgotten to brush my teeth.
He crooked a finger, bringing it up to my chin. His touch sent an electric pulse through me. “Maggie, you won’t go through this alone.”
“I know.”
He cocked his head slightly, as if gauging my response.
I smirked. “Thanks for being here. I know there are other more exciting missions you could have taken.”
Cooper laughed. “Any case that you are involved with is exciting enough.”
He held my gaze until the door in front of us swung open, revealing a familiar face.
Thomas scooped me into a firm hug and I felt a few of my vertebrae pop and my breath whoosh out of me, bringing with it an unladylike squeak.
The stubble on his cheek scratched against mine. “You’ve recovered nicely.”
I leaned back, taking in the grinning face of my relative. “Thank you.”
He spun us around several times.
“Thomas,” a stern female voice called from inside the room. “Please don’t make her throw up on her first day as a conscious human.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Yes, mother.” He called over his shoulder before kissing me on the cheek and setting me on my feet.
His heavy hand rested on my shoulder directing me into the room. I looked back at Cooper and he followed close behind, his head tucked against his chest. A hint of a grin tugged his lips upward. I guessed Thomas had to be reeled in frequently.
I knew the room before I stepped inside. Mahogany cornice outlined the space. I’d always loved this room. It was gothic and dark at night but during the day the ceiling-height windows streamed large beams of light into the room. Someone had opened them, the lace sheers billowing upward as a delicate cool breeze brushed across my skin like a whisper.
Sophia stood from her seat at the other end of an extended table that could seat twenty people comfortably. My father had hosted many parties at the house and I briefly wondered if I’d been oblivious to other Prognatum visiting our home in the past. Sophia indicated the seat next to her. Her short hair was damp, making her appear more human than she’d been in my tomb and a tight smile touched her lips before they smoothed to an impassive line. She was all business today.
So was I.
The moment I sat down, a plate was placed in front of me. I turned to see a woman dressed in a white shirt and black pants retreating to the kitchen. The scent of bacon overwhelmed my nose. Thomas sat down in the opposite chair from me and I twisted around to find that Cooper was nowhere to be seen. My stomach flip-flopped; he said he wouldn’t leave me.
Suddenly, Cooper appeared corporeal a few feet from the table. “Sorry, I forgot you can’t see us now.”
Turning in my chair to face Sophia, I asked, “What does he mean I can’t see them? He’s standing right there.”
Sophia’s eyes narrowed and she pressed her lips together before answering. “This process has no precedence, but I think that since you are back inside of a non-transformed body, your view of the After beings is unable to be interpreted.”
“At least when we are non-corporeal,” Cooper interjected.
“How am I supposed to infiltrate the Shadowed if I’m not able to see them?” My stomach churned and the food in front of me no longer seemed appetizing. What had I done? At least in soul form I was able to defend myself, now, in this body I was helpless.
“It’s the price you pay,” Sophia said calmly. “You will be human for a little while but the transformation will be worth it.”