Read Something Borrowed Online
Authors: Catherine Hapka
I didn't worry about his behavior for long, though. After all, with Teresa away I wasn't going to have to see Jason for at least a month. Besides, I wasn't about to let him ruin my last day with Teresa before her trip. We spent a while picking up a few last-minute things she needed, then headed to the sushi place for lunch.
“But enough about my trip.” Teresa grabbed a piece of yellowtail with her chopsticks. “Tell me more about your date. I can't believe you and Rocco made out!”
“I know.” I shivered as I thought back. “It was amazing. You know how some guys are kind of, you know, selfish kissers?” For a second I flashed to an image of her and Jason making out. Not that I'd ever seen
them do more than trade a good-bye peck on the lipsâTeresa was private that way. “Um, anyway,” I continued, a little flustered. Why was I still wasting time thinking about Jason? “Rocco isn't like that. He's totally tender, and would sort of wait for me to take the lead sometimes, and . . .”
I trailed off as I noticed that Teresa was staring over my shoulder toward the restaurant entrance. “Here's Hot Lips now,” she said.
“What?” I turned around in my seat. Sure enough, Rocco had just entered. His bulk practically filled the doorway as he stood there looking around. He was wearing a Nittany Lions T-shirt and an anxious expression.
Then he spotted me. He waved to me, looking downright frantic now.
“Wow,” I said, putting down my chopsticks. “He seemed kind of eager to see me again, but this . . .”
Rocco moved surprisingly fast for such a big guy. He dodged between the tables and was at ours in seconds flat.
“Ava,” he rumbled breathlessly. “I was hoping I'd find you here.”
I wavered between being incredibly flattered
and a tiny bit annoyed. “Um, I thought we were going to do something later,” I said. “Teresa and Iâ”
He barely glanced at Teresa before stepping closer and reaching for my hand. “I'm sorry, but I just couldn't wait until later,” he announced. “I had to talk to you
now
.”
His deep voice was never particularly quiet, but it was rising dramatically with every word. I winced as people all over the quiet restaurant glanced our way in surprise.
“What is it?” I hissed, as if talking more quietly myself might give him the hint.
It didn't. “There's something I've never told anyone before,” he said, clutching my hand so tightly that it started to throb a little. “Something important that I wasn't sure I was ready to handle.”
“Uh-huh.” I was barely listening, all too aware that more eyes were on us with every word. I wasn't the shy and retiring type, but it was still a bit embarrassing to have a guy about to loudly declare his love for me in front of a roomful of lunching ladies and hungry shoppers. Not to mention Teresa, who was still eating her sashimi and looking on with interest.
Rocco took a deep breath, dropped my hand, and straightened up to his full, impressive height. “Here goes,” he said. “I'mâgay.”
I blinked. Whatever I'd been expecting him to say, that wasn't it. “Umâhuhâwhat?” I burbled, waiting for the punchline.
“I'm gay,” he said again, then smiled. “Whew! That wasn't as bad as I thought. I'm gay. I'm gay!”
All around us, people were chuckling. The twentysomething couple at the next table started to clap, and within seconds the entire restaurant was applauding.
Rocco grinned, looking sheepish as he glanced around. “Thanks,” he said. “Sorry to interrupt your meals.”
“No problem, young man!” a dapper older gentleman at the sushi bar called out. He raised his glass in Rocco's direction. “Welcome to the tribe.”
“Wow,” Teresa said mildly. “That's big news, Rocco. I had no idea.”
“Nobody did, I guess.” He took a deep breath. “I'm going to tell my folks next. But I wanted to let Ava know first, since she was the one whoâwell, you knowâhelped me realize it.”
“I did?” I was still stunned. Rocco the Jockoâgay? Okay, maybe there were a few little hints. Like the way he'd never seriously dated anyone in high school. Or the sweet, tender, caring way he'd kissed me last night . . . “Wait,” I blurted out. “You mean you realized it, umâwhen we, you know . . .”
He pulled out one of the empty chairs at our table and perched on the edge of it, gazing at me earnestly. “I've been coming to terms with this for a long time now,” he said. “I just maybe wasn't ready to accept it, you know? But when I kissed you last night, I finally had to face up to it. I was just trying too hard to be someone I'm not.” He shrugged his massive shoulders. “And then I just felt too guilty hiding the truth from youâand the rest of the worldâfor one moment longer.” He glanced at Teresa again. “Sorry to mess up your good-bye lunch, T.”
“Don't worry about it.” Teresa stood up and hurried around to give him a hug. “We totally understand. Right, Ava?”
“Right,” I said blankly. Oh, well. So much for more of those great make-out sessions.
But I did my best to shrug off the twinges of disappointment. This wasn't about me. Besides, it was really no big deal. In fact, in a lot of ways a hot gay date was even better than the alternative. He was sure to arrive perfectly groomed and look great in the pictures, plus I wouldn't have to worry at all about hurting his feelings by flirting with other guys.
Realizing that Rocco was still staring at me with concern, I smiled reassuringly. “I'm glad you told me,” I said, taking my turn at hugging him. “I know it must have been hard for you. But don't worry, you're such a great guyâI'm sure everyone will be really supportive when you tell them.”
“I hope so.” He looked relieved. “Thanks for being so understanding, Ava.”
“No problem,” I said, stepping back and sitting down again. “Just let me know if you want me to keep quiet about it for now or what. You know, on Saturday.”
“Saturday?” The look of worry returned. “Ohâbut I thought you understood. I can't go to the wedding with you.”
“What?” I'd been reaching for my water glass, but now my hand froze in midair. “What do you mean, you can't go?”
He'd sat down again too, but now he stood up, gazing down at me from his full height. His face was sorrowful. “That's why I didn't want to wait to tell you. I hate to disappoint you, Ava, especially after you've been so good to me. But I can't go to that wedding with you.” He put a hand to his heart dramatically. “Now that I finally know who I am, it would be like purposely living a lie!”
“No, it wouldn't,” I argued, feeling desperate. “Anyway, it would only be living a lie for two more days.”
“I'm sorry, Ava,” he rumbled. “I can't do it for two more days. I couldn't even do it for two more seconds! I'm really sorry. I'll leave you guys alone now.”
He turned and rushed off. “Rocco, wait!” I called.
But it was no use. He was gone.
I turned to stare at Teresa. “The wedding is the day after tomorrow,” I exclaimed. “
Now
what am I supposed to do?”
I was tempted to call Rocco after he left and beg him to change his mind about going to the wedding. But Teresa quickly talked me out of it.
“He's going through a rough thing right now,” she reminded me as we left the sushi place and sat down on a bench in the mall aisle. “This is bigger than some stupid wedding date. Leave him alone.”
“Yeah, you're right.” I sighed. “Okay, then help me figure out who else is left to call.”
“You could justâ”
“Don't say it!” I interrupted warningly. “I know I could go stag. But I don't want to, okay?”
She shrugged. I could tell she thought I was being ridiculous, but she was friend enough not to say so.
To be honest I wasn't even sure why I was being so stubborn about it. Maybe it was pride. It would be one thing if I'd decided to go alone on purpose. But at this point it would be more like giving up. And I didn't do that easily.
We talked it over as we headed outside to wait for Jason to pick us up. But it was hopeless. Every guy we knew already had a date.
“There's not even enough time to try to pick up someone new like I did with Zoom and Oliver,” I moaned, flopping down on the sun-warmed curb.
“Besides, with your luck lately, whoever you found would probably get diagnosed with the bubonic plague twenty minutes before the wedding,” Teresa commented.
I squinted up at her. “You're not helping.”
“Sorry.” She shrugged, setting down her shopping bags and checking her watch. “Jason should be here soon. Maybe he'll have some ideas.” She smiled. “After all, he wants every other guy in a ten-mile radius to be at that wedding so he'll have
Burrito Moe's all to himself, remember?”
“Yeah, right.” I knew she was just trying to cheer me up. But I certainly wasn't going to leave my social fate in Jason's hands, especially after his behavior earlier. “Hey, speak of the devil,” I added as I saw a blue Prius heading our way.
“Hi,” he said to Teresa as we climbed in. “What's with her?”
I guess my gloomy face had given me away. “None of your business,” I said at the same time as Teresa replied, “Rocco's gay.”
“Huh?” Jason said.
Despite my protests, Teresa quickly filled him in. She made him promise not to tell anybody else, though I'm not sure why, considering it was already old news to an entire restaurant full of people. “So now Ava's dateless again,” she finished.
I waited for the joke, but Jason just shrugged. “Bummer,” he muttered.
We didn't talk much on the ride to Teresa's father's office in Radnor. Jason was dropping her off there to meet her dad for a few more errands, then driving me home afterward. I wasn't relishing the thought of being alone with him again, but I forgot all about that as we arrived in the parking lot
of the office complex and Teresa got out of the car. This was good-byeâI knew she and Jason had dinner plans that evening, and then she was leaving early the next morning to be at the airport in time for her connecting flight to New York.
I hopped out of the car, all thoughts of Jason, the wedding, and everything else seeming inconsequential for the moment. “I can't believe you're really leaving!” I cried, throwing my arms around her.
She hugged me back tightly. “I know,” she said, her voice muffled by my hair. “It's crazy, right? Meâin Germany.”
“You'll do great.” I pulled back, keeping my hands on her arms as I gazed at her fondly. “But I'm going to miss you like crazy. E-mail me every day, okay? And send lots of postcards!”
“I promise.” She hugged me again. “See you when I get home.”
“You can count on it.” After one last squeeze I reluctantly let her go. Jason was still in the car, his arm resting on the frame of the open window. He waved at Teresa. “I'll pick you up later,” he called to her. Then he glanced at me. “All aboard. This train is leaving the station.”
“I'm coming.” Blowing one last kiss to Teresa, I got back into the backseat.
“You could sit up front, you know,” he said, sounding almost hostile.
“No, thanks. This is fine.” In truth I'd climbed into the back automatically. If he'd turned it into a joke and called me a ditz, I probably would have laughed it off and switched to the front. But if he was going to be a jerk about it, two could play that game.
“Whatever,” he muttered, jamming the car back into drive and pulling away.
As we sped along toward home I slumped in my seat, running over my optionsâor lack thereofâin my head. There just didn't seem to be a good solution, unless I wanted to try trolling the local under-fourteen crowd for a date. Which I didn't.
Why did Lance have to do this to me?
I thought.
I wish I'd told him off when he came to the store the other day.
I blinked and sat up so fast that my seat belt almost cut off circulation in my stomach. “Hey, wait,” I blurted out. “That's it!”
I smiled, suddenly sure that I'd found the perfect solution at last. Maybe I hadn't fully appreciated what I'd had with Lance. But if he was willing to seek me out to
talk about it, maybe there was still a chance for us.
“What's it?” Jason glanced at me in the rearview. He still sounded kind of gruff and unfriendly, but I hardly noticed.
“Listen, Jason.” I leaned forward and grabbed his shoulder. “Can you do me a huge favor? Drive me over to McNeilly's Garage.”
“You mean now? Why?”
“I've got to talk to Lance, and it can't wait.” I was talking fast now, certain that I'd finally found the answer. “See, he came to the store the other day while I was working. And he showed up at the pool party alone too. Why else would he do that if he wasn't hoping to rekindle things with me?”
“Wait, you want to talk to that Lance jerk?” Jason sounded a little more like his normal self. “Ava, I'm not sure that's a good idea.”
“It's a great idea,” I insisted. “He probably regrets breaking up with me. And if he does, he'd probably be thrilled if I told him we could still go to the wedding together!”
I could already imagine the delicious look of surprise on Lance's face when I turned up at his work just like he'd turned
up at mine. And that surprise would turn to joy when he realized why I was there. . . .
Jason glanced back at me, biting his lip. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “That Lance guy was never good enough for you anyway.”
“Look, are you willing to help me out or not?” I was practically bouncing up and down by now. “Because if you're not, just take me home and I'll find another ride.”
He sighed. “No, it's okay. I'll take you.”
I kept busy for the rest of the short ride practicing in my head what I was going to say. When Jason pulled into the parking lot of the garage, I spotted Lance immediately. He was standing at the edge of one of the bays, in front of a car raised a few feet up on a lift, talking to the pair of overall-clad legs sticking out from beneath it.