Someone Like me (9 page)

chapter 17

A beeping noise was piercing my head. I pulled the pillow over my ears. It didn’t go away. I
realised it was my alarm. I stretched my arm out of bed, picked up my phone and turned it off. My head felt a bit thick. I had woken up in the night and been unable to sleep for ages, before falling into a nightmare about being lost in a foreign country, desperately trying to find the Eiffel Tower, but nobody could understand what I was saying.

It was eight thirty, half an hour to go before I had to meet Mark. I ran my hands over my head. The uneven tufts reminded me. The hair cut.
Why Jasmine?

I had a quick shower and dressed in dark jeans and my
favourite grey sweatshirt. I attempted to dry my hair into some sort of style, failing miserably. I pulled my beanie over it in disgust. I pulled on my red converse and grabbed my keys. Mum had left me some money on the table, which I dropped into my purse. At least she hadn’t forgotten that.

Mark was already sitting in the café, a plate of sausages, bacon and beans in front of him. I ordered a tea and a chocolate croissant. He was wearing dark jeans and a t-shirt; I had rarely seen him wear anything else. The same hat he had been wearing last night covered his short dark hair.

‘Are you practising for France?’ he asked, nodding at my chocolate croissant. ‘Un pain au chocolat pour Mademoiselle.’

‘Do you speak French?’ I was impressed.

‘Hardly. It’s one of the few things I remember from school. ‘A croque-monsieur is the other, but I couldn’t tell you what it is.’

‘I’ll find out and let you know,’ I said, biting into my pastry, brown flakes snowing down over my plate. ‘Thanks for saying I can stay, by the way.’

‘No worries.  Are you looking forward to going to France?’ he asked.

I pulled a face. ‘Not really. Well, kind of. It’s complicated.’

‘I like complicated,’ he said, grinning.

‘Well I’m spending a few days with my dad and his wife in Paris, but remember, this is the dad who abandoned us when I was a baby and I haven’t seen since.’

‘You must have spoken to him at least, surely?’

‘He’s emailed me and we talked once on Skype. It was weird. Part of me wants to go, but most of me
hates him for leaving us. I’m a bit scared, to be honest. I don’t want to meet his wife, although I’ve seen a photo and she looks really nice. Plus I’d much rather be in New York – although not necessarily with Mum.’

Mark took a swig of tea. ‘I thought Tess said you wanted to stay with us?’

I put my hands over my face. ‘You must think I’m so rude,’ I said. ‘I really do want to stay with her – and you – I was only joking about New York . . .’

‘Forget it,’ he said, ‘I’m only teasing.’ He mopped up his plate with a piece of toast.

‘So what did you think of the band?’ he asked. I was grateful for the change of subject.

‘Not bad,’ I said. ‘You’ve improved a lot since that gig at school.’

He laughed. ‘Khaled’s the reason,’ he said. ‘He makes us work really hard. He wants to make it big.’

‘I’m surprised,’ I said, ‘he doesn’t seem that serious about anything. He didn’t seem bothered about splitting up with Fiona.’

Mark shook his head. ‘I knew that was going to happen. He wasn’t that committed to her.’

‘Why do you say that?’

    ‘I’m not sure I should talk about it really.’ He scratched his head. ‘Well, just don’t say anything to Tess, OK?’

‘No worries.’

‘You know that weekend we went away together, to stay at my mates’ flat in Camden?’

I nodded.

‘Well I think he was seeing someone else. We went to the concert together but he left early and wouldn’t tell me where he was going. I think he was worried I would tell Tess and Fiona would find out. He came back really late – in the early hours of the morning. His boots were covered in mud – I don’t know what he’d been up to. He got annoyed when I started teasing him about it so I haven’t mentioned it since. I’m glad Fiona knows the truth; she’s better off out of it. I would never two-time someone. What’s the point? I would only go out with someone if I really liked them, so why go off with someone else? Idiot.’

‘I’m glad he’s told Fiona too,’ I said.

‘I thought you two didn’t get on?’

‘We didn’t get on at primary school, but…’ I glanced at my watch.

‘Do you have to go?’ asked Mark.

I nodded. ‘I’ve got to buy some stuff for France and I need to pack, and…’

‘No worries.’

We hovered awkwardly outside the café. ‘Which way are you going?’ he asked.

‘Into town. I need some hair dye.’

‘What
colour will it be this time?’

‘Brown.
I’m sick of this red.’

‘It will suit you. To be honest, your hair looks too much like that Sadie’s – you know the one who caused all the trouble with Khaled, although I think he just used that as an excuse to break up with Fiona. You don’t want to look like her.’

Colour rushed into my cheeks. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘She’s so
fake. Her brother’s thinking of joining our band so I’ve run into her a few times. She’s a bit snooty. You’ve got lovely hair, it will look better brown.’

He wouldn’t be saying that if he could see my effort at DIY hair styling.

‘I think Sadie looks good.’

‘She’s not original, though, is she? She looks like a hundred other girls. I prefer people who stand out from the crowd.’

His words were running through my head as I set off towards the town centre. Nobody had ever called my hair lovely before. The chemist was fairly empty as it was still early and I spent ages looking at the vast array of boxes of hair dye in front of me, each with a pretty girl and a plastic smile on the front. I settled for a chocolate brown colour, that should be dark enough to cover the red. Mark had got me thinking; I was going to be quite anonymous in France. It would be good to cultivate a new image for a couple of weeks, a sort of trial run.

I
loaded  up  my  basket with travel stuff for my trip, lots of cute miniature creams and gels.

‘Going on holiday?’ asked the sales assistant.

I nodded, although I wasn’t sure exactly how much of a holiday it was going to be. I spent the rest of the morning buying clothes, mostly boring items such as tights and underwear, but I did buy a cool pair of turquoise jeans. They would look great with my new black boots. It struck me that this was the first thing I had bought for ages that wasn’t recommended by
Sadiestyle
. It felt wrong somehow, but also liberating. Was it because of what Mark had said? I didn’t think so. What did he know about fashion after all?

My phone rang as I left the store. I put my bag on a nearby bench and sat down to take the call. It was Tess.

‘You’re off tomorrow aren’t you?’ she asked. ‘Do you want to meet up?’

I made my way over to the café in the precinct. The walls were lined with books and there was a stationery shop where you could browse as you waited for your food. I ordered a sandwich and an apple juice, then sat down to wait for Tess. I chose a seat next to the window and  watched  the  people  going in  and out of shops, stopping to chat, light a cigarette or take a call. I saw Tess approaching but she wasn’t on her own, Fiona was with her. I breathed deeply as I waved at them and seconds later they had joined me at the table.

Tess went off to join the queue and Fiona sat down. Her make up looked thicker than usual.

‘I spoke to Mark,’ I said. ‘Khaled did go off that weekend, so he hasn’t got an alibi for the whole night.’

‘So it could have been him that went off to meet
Miriam.’ Fiona’s eyes flashed. ‘How can we find out?’ ‘I’m working  on  that,’  I  said.  ‘But  you  know  I’m going to France tomorrow so we’ll have to stay in touch online. Give me your email address and how to get in touch with you.’

‘I’ll text it to you,’ she said and started pushing buttons on her phone. Tess came back to the table with two cans of diet coke, glasses and straws.

‘So you two are friends now?’ she asked, looking from me to Fiona.

She shrugged. ‘We’re helping Helen out, and Jasmine is seeing to a bit of unfinished business for me.’

My phone pinged as Fiona’s message came through.

‘Have you heard from Helen?’ I asked.

Fiona rolled her eyes. ‘Only about every other minute. She thinks we’re the Famous Five. Except there’s only three of us.’

‘Four,’ said Tess indignantly. ‘I brought you all together remember? Besides, when Jas is in France I will be taking over the operation.’

‘Operation! I thought Helen was bad enough,’ said Fiona.

‘Look, if you don’t want to do this…’ I glared.

‘Calm down,’ said Tess, ‘let’s just chill out, for God’s sake.’

I took a mouthful of apple juice and finished off my sandwich.

‘I forgot to tell you Fiona, I checked on Facebook and I don’t think there is anything going on between Khaled and Sadie.’

Fiona looked like she had just bitten on a lemon.

‘He said to us there was nothing going on, at the rehearsal, didn’t he Jasmine?’

‘Tess is right.’ I agreed. I didn’t mention what he’d said about Fiona being possessive.

‘What he says doesn’t mean anything. I want to know for sure,’ said Fiona sulkily.

‘OK,’ I said. ‘Tess, can you try and speak to Khaled and find out a bit more about that weekend … and about Sadie,’ I added hastily, aware of Fiona’s eyes on me. ‘You’re in the best position to do that after all, he’ll be round at your house to see Mark for rehearsals.’

‘Looks like this enquiry wouldn’t be going very far without me,’ said Tess. ‘I’ll have a go, but I can’t promise he’ll tell me anything.’

‘I can’t help having to go to France,’ I said. ‘It’s only for the weekend. I’m sure I’ll have had enough of them by then.’

A waitress appeared at our table with two plates of sandwiches and the conversation died out for a bit as they started eating. I watched Fiona out of the corner of my eye; she pulled a slice of ham out of her sandwich and picked at it a bit before pushing the plate to one side.

‘I’m not hungry,’ she said. 
‘I’m  going  home.  Mum wants me back by three.’ She pushed her chair back and stood up. ‘I’ll be waiting to hear from you, so don’t forget, OK?’ she said.

Tess and I watched her walk briskly across the square, her thin shoulders rigid, before she disappeared from view.

‘Why did that sound like a threat? She still doesn’t trust me.’

‘She’s still hurting about splitting up with Khaled,’ Tess reminded me. ‘Give her a break.’

Tess walked back to the bus stop with me. ‘How long do you think you’ll be gone for?’

‘It  depends
  on how we get on. It might be good if I go to Amersham, see where Michael lives, find out more about him. Try and Skype me without laughing, I can’t help what I look like.’

‘You’re such an idiot, Jas!’ she said, punching me. The bus arrived at that moment and I waved back at her until she had disappeared from view. I felt strangely empty.

I opened the front door and was greeted by the sight of a luxurious luggage set in the hallway.

‘Mum,’ I called out excitedly and she came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel. ‘It’s gorgeous!’ I said. There was one medium size black leather case with a small holdall that fitted on top. The kind of luggage Sadie would have. Damn! Why did she keep popping up? ‘I was going to take my old rucksack.’

‘You can’t travel with that,’ Mum said. ‘What would your father think?’

I stopped smiling. ‘Is that what this is all about?’

‘No,’ she said indignantly. ‘I wanted to make up for letting you down today and I managed to get off early. I’ve cooked us a mushroom risotto and some salad so we can have that later.’ I gave her a hug and she looked surprised.

‘I’ll go and have a shower then do some packing. Can we eat after that?’

Mum nodded and I went off upstairs. The first thing I did was
go into my bathroom and put the hair dye on. I left it on for thirty minutes to make sure the colour took. I wanted the red to be a thing of the past. I wrapped a plastic bag around my head and started sorting out what I wanted to pack. I was starting to feel edgy about meeting Michael.

Mum called upstairs that she was popping out to the
shop  so  I  took  the opportunity to run downstairs and get myself a drink. An icy looking bottle of vodka lay on the top shelf. I poured the clear liquid into a glass and took a can of diet coke out of the fridge. It tasted much better than wine. I went back upstairs and washed the colour out of my hair. The smell made my eyes water, but the results were worth it. I stared into the mirror. I looked more like I used to, before Sadie, my hair a chocolate shade of brown. I dried my hair under the dryer then rubbed some hair clay in. It didn’t look too bad. I put some music on, then set about packing my case.

Mum looked shocked when I went downstairs.