Someone Like me (18 page)

CHAPTER 35

Nora opened the door to reveal Michael standing in the doorway. He charged into the room.

‘What the hell is going on?’ he asked. ‘What are you girls doing here? Why aren’t you in London?’

‘It was a surprise,’ I said. ‘We thought you would be pleased.’ I tried to smile at him but my mouth wasn’t moving properly.

‘Nora, tell me what is going on here? How have they found you?’

Malika stood up. She went and stood behind her aunt’s chair and launched into a passionate speech in French. The words battered my ears and I wished I’d paid more attention in French lessons. At the end she burst into tears and her aunt pulled her onto her lap and started shouting at Michael.

‘Hello?’ I said, but Michael stood still, like stone.

‘Michael,’ Nora said. ‘It’s all out in the open now. It’s probably for the best.’

‘Excuse me,’ I said, ‘I don’t speak French. Can someone tell me what’s going on? Why have you been meeting Nora in secret? How could you do this to Sara and
Malika?’

Michael sank down onto the couch. ‘Nora was in trouble. She contacted me and asked me to help her. She swore me to secrecy. I can’t tell you
any  more  than that at the moment.’

             
‘Was it to do with Gran? Is that why you went to see her?’

He sighed. ‘No, I just took the opportunity to visit her. I was hoping she’d let me back into her life now
that we’re moving back to England. I showed her a photo of Malika, I was hoping she’d want to see her, but it just made her angry.’

‘So after you saw Gran, did you come back here, to this hotel, to see Nora?’

He nodded. ‘It was Malika’s birthday, and I felt terrible about missing that, but Nora needed to see me. We went out for dinner. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, I have to respect Nora’s wishes.’

‘I forgive you, now that Nora is back. I can’t wait to tell
Maman,’ said Malika. ‘She will be so happy.’ She looked at her aunt. ‘She never gave up hoping you would come back, you know?’

Malika
was a lot more forgiving than me. They were still keeping secrets from us.

Nora stroked
Malika’s hair. ‘I believe you, chérie, but I want you to promise me one thing. Not a word to Sara.’

‘But…’
Malika sat up in protest.

‘I want to be the one to tell her. You must understand that.’

‘So what happened to your child?’ I asked. ‘Did you have it?’

She nodded.
‘A boy.’

‘He’s my cousin,’
Malika laughed. ‘Can I see him?’

A sad expression crossed her eyes. ‘He isn’t here at the moment.
Maybe another time.’

Malika and I couldn’t stop talking on the way back to London. Michael was staying in Buckinghamshire for a couple of days more.

‘Did you think Nora was a bit funny about her son?’ Malika asked. ‘She didn’t seem to want to talk about him.’

I nodded. ‘I reckon this secret that Michael isn’t telling us has something to do with him. But at least he has an alibi.’
Malika had quizzed Nora on the meal she’d had with Michael, and they’d been together all evening.

‘I still don’t get why he left the scene of the crime. I think I’ll just have to ask him about it, tell him about
Crimewatch
. Otherwise I will always be wondering whether he had anything to do with Miriam’s death or not.’ 

Tess was pleased we were back.

‘I’ve persuaded Josh to have everyone over to his place tomorrow night – I’m hoping it will cheer him up. The band has got some stuff to talk about and Mark suggested you bring
Malika. Come about seven, OK?’

I went upstairs to my bedroom to have a rest before going out later. Malika was watching TV downstairs. As I hung my bag up in the wardrobe, a flash of pink caught my eye. It was Sadie’s jacket; I had forgotten all about it. I took it out of the wardrobe; despite having been scrunched up the material fell beautifully into place and was exquisitely soft to touch. I couldn’t resist putting it on. I looked at myself in the mirror, shoving my left  hand  in  the  pockets as  I did so. A wodge of paper was in the pocket and I drew it out, curious. My stomach did a somersault. I knew straight away what it was. It was the missing pages from the diary. I made sure my bedroom door was shut and I sat on the floor, unfolded the papers and started reading.

I went to the restaurant last night as arranged with Trevor. I deliberately wore my jeans and a jumper and he had a go at me for not dressing up. I said to him he sounded like he thought we were on a date and he said that of course we were. I told him not to be silly, then came out with my speech – how he had been really good to me, giving me presents and stuff but I was worried he had got the wrong idea. I told him when I kissed him that one time it was my idea of a joke – he knew I was going out with AJ after all. His eyes kind of bulged when I said that and that’s when I began to feel uneasy. I was right to be because then he told me that he had booked a room upstairs in the hotel. That really scared me. I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid. How could he think I would ever go out with him – he is so old, apart from being my half uncle. I pretended to go to the toilet but I went to reception and asked the lady there to book me a taxi. When the cab came I asked her to wait five minutes, then send a message through to Trevor that I had been taken ill and gone home. I spent the whole journey back watching the mirror, terrified that Trevor would try to follow. I was so relieved when the cab made it home and even more so when I ran into one of Josh’s friends just outside my house. I couldn’t hide how upset I was and burst into tears. I ended up telling him everything. We went for a long walk, then a coffee, before he walked me home. It was gone three when I finally went to bed. He helped calm me down and I made him promise  not to  say  anything. I  couldn’t tell Mum and Dad, they think Trevor can do no wrong. I am so glad we are going on holiday next week. I hope I never have to see that man again.

The pages came to an abrupt end. She must have taken them to stop anyone finding them. I stood up and paced around in circles; I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I realised I was still wearing the jacket, and put my hands back into the pockets, hoping there might be a few more pages. I hadn’t checked the right pocket and I thrust my hand inside, only to find another piece of paper. The paper was thicker; it was a photograph – the missing half of the beach photo to be precise, with something written on the back. A man had his arm around Sadie, his leather jacket on the edge of the shot as he awkwardly held the camera at arm’s length to take the picture. With a jolt I found myself looking into Mystery Man’s eyes.
Trevor
, I reminded myself. I turned the photograph over, ‘
Me and my girl
’ it said.

     If Khaled was the friend that Sadie had run into, this would explain how they knew one another and why he wouldn’t tell Fiona how he knew Sadie. I went to the wardrobe and took the diary out of my pocket. My hands were trembling as I turned to the extract before the pages had been removed. I needed to know what date this had been written on. The words burned into my eyes. May 25
th
. The day Miriam had been attacked. If I was right, then I was holding Khaled’s alibi. But how on earth could I use it, without betraying Sadie?

chapter 3
6

‘Jasmine, is that you?’ Mum’s voice rang out as I stepped into the hall. Malika looked at me, raising her eyebrows. I hoped my smile was reassuring.

I went into the room. Mum was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee.

‘Darling,’ she said. ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘I bet you have,’ I said, as I went and gave her a hug. She was looking quizzically at
Malika. ‘This is Malika, remember?’

‘Oh yes,’ she said. ‘I’m not likely to forget your
sister
am I?’ I gave her a warning glance. She held out her hand to Malika. ‘I’ve literally just got back,’ she said, sweeping her hand out with a flourish to indicate the bags dumped at her feet.  ‘I know we’ve got loads to talk about and I want to hear all about you,’ she said to Malika, ‘but I’m dying for a long soak in the bath. I expect you girls have got plenty to do as it is, so let’s catch up later.’ She eased herself gently off the coach, wincing as if in pain. ‘It’s jet lag,’ she said to Malika, ‘a long flight and not much sleep. I’ll be fabulous company this evening, I promise you. Let’s go out to dinner.’

‘We can’t Mum, Josh has invited us over.’

‘Josh?’

‘Tess’s boyfriend.’

Mum raised her eyebrows.

‘I can see a lot has been going on in my absence. Are
you going out with that, whatshisname, Karl yet?’

‘Mum!’ I said. ‘Go and have your bath.’

She stopped for a moment, staring at Malika. A pained look flittered across her face.

‘You do look a bit like Michael,’ she said. With that she disappeared off upstairs.

Malika looked puzzled. ‘This is very strange, how you live here. Is it always like this?’

‘Pretty much,’ I said, ‘I tried to warn you.’

‘I guess I didn’t want to believe you.’

Footsteps sounded overhead and the boiler in the kitchen started spluttering and gurgling.

‘She’ll be in there for at least an hour,’ I said, ‘then she’ll be on the phone to Clare. I bet we won’t see her again this evening.’

Malika rang Josh’s doorbell and we stood back and waited. I felt a trickle of dread run through me; I couldn’t quite believe what I had read this afternoon. The more I found out about Sadie the more shallow I felt for getting involved in her life. Guilt about taking the diary was eating me up. I still didn’t know what to do about it; it sat like a stone in my bag at the moment, along with the pink silk jacket.

Josh opened the front door. The
colours around his eye were muted, less obvious. ‘Cheers for tidying up the other day,’ he said.

‘I’m glad your dad has got rid of that Trevor,’ I said.

‘He turned up again, you know, even after Dad rang him – I thought they were going to have a massive bust up. He screeched off on that stupid bike of his. I hope we never see him again. My sister’s mad as well because she reckons he was rooting around in her things. I don’t know whether he would do that kind of thing though – I hope it wasn’t anyone at the party.’

A cold chill trickled slowly through my veins. The
name Trevor made me feel sick. Since I had read Sadie’s diary she had become real to me, a person with feelings and worries. What was I thinking, following her around like that, copying her? She didn’t have the perfect life that I thought she had. Now I knew stuff about her that I wished I didn’t and no way could I tell anyone. There and then I made up my mind to put the diary back. It was bad enough Trevor pursuing her. Wasn’t I just as bad?

Josh led us into the sitting room, where everyone was sitting on the floor. Beers and cokes were lined up on the table. I stared at the cans, memories of the party flashing through my head. I took two cans of coke and handed one to
Malika. She smiled. Tess was selecting some music on the iPod and Khaled and Des were chatting about their last rehearsal.

‘Are your mum and dad home?’ I asked Josh.

‘They’ve gone to the cinema. Sadie’s out but she’ll be back soon.’

Malika
sat down next to Khaled.

‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ I said, ‘I need the bathroom.’ I took the stairs two at a time.

Sadie’s door was closed. Even though I knew she was out, my heartbeat rose at the fear of being caught in the act. Supposing Josh was mistaken? This was no time to mess about. I pushed the door  carefully and  it swung open to reveal an empty room. I paused, listening. There was no sound from the bathroom either. I could feel the eyes on the large photo of Sadie watching me, following me around the room, judging me. Wasting no time I went straight to the drawer and put the notebook back where I had found it. I hung the jacket back on the door, making sure the papers were where I left them. As I shut the door I wondered if I would ever be able to put Sadie behind me. I squirmed with shame at the thought of how I’d behaved.

A sound like that of the front door shutting caught my ears. I rushed out of the room, closing the door quickly behind me. I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. The sound of a muffled conversation pricked my attention. I closed the door softly,
then made sure it was locked, as footsteps came up the stairs. My breath caught in my throat as I recognized Khaled’s voice. He was talking to Sadie. There was a shuffling noise and the stairs creaked. It sounded as if they were sitting at the top of the stairs.

‘You don’t look well,’ he said. ‘What’s going on? Did you tell AJ what happened that night?’

‘I couldn’t,’ she said. She was speaking so softly it was difficult to hear her. ‘I felt so guilty. It was all my fault for leading him on. AJ would have chucked me anyway, so I made it easy for him.’

‘But he’s in bits! He hasn’t got a clue what’s going on. And how is any of that your fault? Trevor threatened you. Has he been in touch since?’

She must have nodded. ‘He started contacting me through my website. That’s why I had to close it down. All those stupid presents – I thought it was  flattering at first, that he was finding out what I liked from my blog, but then it just got creepy, he wouldn’t leave me alone.’

‘So why not tell your parents?
Or at least AJ?’

‘Because I’m scared.’

‘Of what?
What can he do now? Your parents know what he’s like.’

There was a long silence.

‘Sadie?’

‘If I tell you will you promise not to tell
anyone.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I can’t tell AJ because he’d want to have it out with Trevor, And I don’t want that to happen because I think Trevor is dangerous. I’m scared of what he might do, what he might have done.’

‘What do you mean?’

Sadie’s voice cracked and she started to cry.

‘Haven’t you worked it out? Trevor lives in
Keston. I’ve seen his house. He took me there once on his bike. That night, that girl, Miriam. He would have been so angry with me. I think he killed her.’

I was unable to breathe.

A shout from downstairs interrupted the strained silence that had descended. ‘Khaled! Where are you?’

‘Coming!’ he replied. Sadie spoke again but I couldn’t catch what she said. I listened as Khaled ran down the stairs and waited for Sadie’s door to close. I lingered a few more minutes before I eased the bathroom door open and slipped down the stairs as fast as I could.

Back downstairs I went into the living room
and  picked up my drink. Malika was telling the group about her life in France. My heart was banging so hard I was convinced the others would be able to hear it.

‘Have you got a boyfriend back home?’ Tess asked.

Malika laughed and shook her head. ‘Nobody special.’ Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Josh dig Des in the ribs. Maybe Fiona was right.

‘Where’s Fiona?’ I asked.

Tess rolled her eyes. ‘She’s totally loved up with her new boyfriend. She’s so over you,’ she said to Khaled. ‘I suppose you want her back now, don’t you?’

Khaled
was  standing  over  by  the window, his arms hanging at his sides, his fists clenched.

‘Who wants another drink?’ Josh asked.

‘I’ll get them,’ I said. I went back into the kitchen and was standing in front of the fridge thinking how strange it was that I should be standing in Sadie’s kitchen when the door opened and then she was there in front of me. The ruby red lips were gone, the extensions no more, and she was a lot thinner. Her eyes were expressionless, the sparkle lost. She stared at me.

‘I’m Josh’s friend,’ I said, ‘well a friend of his girlfriend, Tess, really.’

‘Whatever,’ she said, looking at me as if I was some sort of specimen, before going to the sink and pouring herself a glass of water. Then she went back upstairs, pulling the door shut behind her.

I stood motionless, gazing at the closed door. I imagined calling her back, explaining,
apologising for intruding into her life. I shook my head; I couldn’t do it. Clearly I meant nothing to her.

Tess and I went to sit in the garden for a bit. A cool

breeze
was blowing through the trees.

‘You’ll have to go back home soon,’ I said. ‘Will you carry on going out with Josh?’

She nodded. ‘I’ve only got one more year of school, then I’m definitely moving back here. Mum will be fine with it; she just wants me to finish my GCSE’s at the same school. I’d be going to a sixth form college anyway, so it doesn’t matter where it is. And she’s happy that I can stay with Mark, he’s very sensible. Talking of sensible, isn’t that just what you need?’

‘Get lost,’ I said. ‘I’ve got far too much to think about at the moment.’ I told her what had happened at the hotel.

‘So  Michael’s  in  the  clear?’ she  asked. I  nodded. ‘I think so, although I still don’t know why he would leave the scene of the crime like that and there’s still something he and Nora aren’t telling us, I’m sure of it. I’ve decided I’m just going to be upfront about it and ask him.’

‘At least that way you’ll know one way or another.’

We were silent for a bit, listening to the sounds of murmured conversation and music coming from inside.

‘Tess,’ I said. She looked at me. ‘I’m glad you’re coming back. I lost it a bit when you left, you know? First Gran, then you,’ I held my can of coke against my forehead; it was cool, soothing the thoughts that were burning inside.

‘I know.’ I looked at her in surprise. ‘Your Mum rang my mum – don’t look at me like that Jas, she was really concerned about you. I was too, but they thought it would make it worse if I kept ringing you when you were trying to get used to me being away and made me stop calling for a bit.’

I shook my head. ‘I can’t believe it,’ I said. ‘I thought you were turning against me too.’ I took a deep breath. ‘That’s when I did something stupid.’

    ‘What do you mean?’

I took a long swig of my drink before I spoke.

‘I latched onto Sadie.’

She turned to look at me. ‘Sadie?
Josh’s Sadie?’

I nodded. ‘She just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and I thought it would be fun
to find out about her, but I kind of got obsessed. I thought she was the answer to all my prayers. If I copied her, looked like her, I would feel better about myself and people would like me. It didn’t happen – no surprises there.’ It was  hard  to  look  at  her. ‘This is so embarrassing.’

Tess’s forehead was crinkled up in astonishment.
‘The red hair! You’re not still…’

‘No! But I wanted you to know. It’s funny but since I met
Malika I started losing interest.’

‘You’re not getting obsessed with her are you?’

‘No!’

‘That’s a relief. I can’t imagine you in a headscarf.’

‘Idiot! Promise me you’ll never tell anyone, especially Josh.’

She pulled an imaginary zip across her lips. ‘You can count on Tess.’

She was right. I’d always known I could trust her. I could tell her everything. She’d know what to do about Sadie and Trevor and Khaled.

‘Talking of Sadie,’ I began, when Josh appeared at the back door.

‘Tess!’ he called.

A smile lit up her face. ‘One minute,’ she yelled, ‘
What is it?’ she asked, turning back to me.

She looked radiant, the yellow light picking out the blonde of her hair.

‘It’s nothing,’ I said, ‘Go to lover boy.’

She stuck her arm through mine and we made our way back to the house. I hesitated when I got to the back porch. Through the window I could see
Malika engrossed in conversation with Khaled. He left the room as I made my way across to her.

‘What were you and Khaled talking about?’

‘About his foster family again. His Mum was in some sort of trouble and couldn’t look after him, but the family he is with now are good to him. I think he’s a bit spoilt, but in a good way.’

‘Maybe  I
should  find  myself  a foster family,’ I said,  ‘Mum would like that, I bet.’