So Worthy My Love (41 page)

“You hated me once, remember?”

“Never!” Maxim denied.

Elise ignored his astounded mien and returned to him an injured air. “I was sure you did.”

Maxim answered in exasperation, “To enter into a union that is well-suited to both of us, do you need to examine my heart so closely that you must rend it from my chest? Are we not both alone in this
world? I've no family, and you very few whom you can trust. We cannot say what has happened to your father. If for naught else but shared comfort and companionship, will you not accept my proposal?”

Elise fought against the logic of his words. She wanted something far more out of marriage than a union which seemed right or sensible. “Are you sure of what you want, Maxim?” she asked quietly. “Mayhap there'll come another in your life whom you'll want more than me.” She ignored his light scoff as she continued her argument. “And you may want to marry her.”

“Madam, I've never met another woman—” he paused for effect as he leaned forward to fix her with an intense stare—“who is as exasperating as you are!”

Having fully expected him to make protestations declaring his desire for her, Elise opened her mouth several times, completely at a loss for words. In a huff, she finally settled back into the seat with an injured comment. “If you find me so aggravating, my lord, why should you even bother asking me to become your wife?”

Maxim's mouth twisted in a lopsided smile. “Because I've never wanted a woman more than I want you.”

Placated, Elise sat for a long moment in thoughtful silence and finally responded. “Your proposal has come upon me suddenly.” She spoke with measured care, not because she was unsure of herself, but because she felt a need to be cautious of him. With his stirring good looks, he would always be confronted by women who wanted him and would do
anything to have him, if naught else but to take him into their beds for no more than an evening or an hour. And how could she manage to hold him against such odds? Oh, truly, she would have gladly yielded him an affirmative answer if only she could be sure that in time he would not find another and come to regret their marriage. “Before I can give you answer, I must know truly what my own heart would say.”

The green eyes conveyed Maxim's disappointment. “As you wish, Elise, but . . . I beg you . . . have a care. My emotions are rent asunder when I stand aside and watch you being courted by another man.”

“I will take care, my lord,” she murmured softly, understanding only too well what jealousy would do to her.

Feeling a need to be out in the cold air where she could think clearly and rationally, she reached for the old hide boots. “If you'll excuse me, my lord. I'd like to take a walk outside.”

“The snow has blown into drifts,” Maxim observed, glancing from the window. “You'll likely ruin the hem of your gown if you try crossing them.”

“There's no help for it,” she replied, taking up the boots. An earnest need had arisen, and though she fretted over spoiling her new clothes, she could not travel the rest of the day and not seek relief. “I'll only be gone a few moments. Perhaps the damage will not be too severe.”

Maxim knelt before her and, taking a boot from her grasp, slipped it on her foot. “I doubt if these will suffice to keep your feet warm.”

“I dare not wear my new ones.”

“If you must go out, let me assist you,” he urged.

“If you will, my lord,” she murmured with a smile.

Removing her other slipper, Maxim rested her stockinged foot upon his thigh as he prepared her boot. The contact warmed her pleasantly, and though it might have been a small service he performed, for Elise his ministrations gave evidence of the sort of man he was. He had fought his battles and faced the foe, yet he was not without a gentler side. His solicitousness brought home the realization that the two of them had grown quite compatible in the past weeks. Little services performed one for the other had drawn them into a unity that had been both comfortable and immensely satisfying. Perhaps she was a fool to demand all the answers at once. Though he might not love her, if he could be the kind of caring husband she needed and wanted, it was a very practical reason for them to come together. Perhaps in time love would find its way into his heart.

Maxim raised himself to his feet and reached out to take her hand. Pulling her from the cushioned seat, he brought her hard against him and for a long moment held her as his eyes searched hers.

“Tell me you don't feel what I feel when I hold you.” His voice possessed a rich timbre that could, by itself, start her pulse leaping in her veins. The assault on her senses seemed to advance threefold as he leaned forward, and she caught the clean, masculine scent of him. She could hear, smell, and feel him; she needed only to taste him, and even that
experience seemed near as his lips hovered over hers. “Tell me you don't tremble when I touch you,” he whispered huskily, “and then try to tell me you don't want me to make love to you.”

With a gasp Elise raised her head to stare at him, knowing that she should be offended by his words. The denial was ready to be spoken, but the only words that stumbled from her lips were confused and faintly chiding. “You shouldn't talk to me that way, Maxim.”

His eyes burned into hers, and he read the truth of her desires as he searched the sapphire depths. “Why? Are you afraid to hear the truth? You need loving, madam.” His nostrils flared as his eyes blazed with fiery passion. “By damned, madam! ‘Tis my torment that I want you here and now!”

He was too close! She could not breathe!

Snatching free, Elise stumbled to the door, but Maxim was immediately behind her, taking her hard against him. His hand slipped beneath her cloak and clasped her breast as he pressed his face into her hair. His hoarse, ragged breathing sounded loud in her ear, then with a low growl of frustration he tore away and presented his back to her.

“This is humorous,” Maxim jeered derisively over his shoulder. “I've had you close beneath my hand for these many weeks past, and though you roused me to heights I could not endure, I did not try to force you. The moment we're away, my wont is to throw up your skirts and set upon you like a rutting stag.” He looked down as he ground out the words. “Truly, with less clothes you'd have surely served my pleasure.”

Elise's heart would not stop its chaotic flight, but she whispered unsteadily, with all the dignity she could muster, “I should be most glad for your help through the snow, my lord.”

His head snapped up, and he looked at her in surprise. He saw her troubled profile and knew that she was genuinely upset, but not with him. Stepping past her to the door, he looked back and found uncertainty clouding her eyes. He sighed mentally, feeling chagrined. There were times when he forgot that she was very young and she had no real knowledge of men or the lusts that goaded them. “The fault is mine, Elise,” he assured her gently. “You did nothing that was deserving of my rudeness.”

Alighting from the coach, Maxim paused a moment to let the cold air cool his mind. The guards were huddled near the campfire, talking and warming their hands, but when he reached up and swept Elise into his arms, he could feel the stares of the men come full weight upon them. Nicholas had made his claims upon the girl obvious to everyone, and it would not be long before word reached the captain of this encroachment.

Elise laid her arms about his neck, but when Maxim looked at her, her flitting gaze portrayed her shyness and a reluctance to meet his eyes. He could not blame her, for he had acted no better than that pompous oaf, Reland.

He trod through the rolling, motionless waves of white until he reached a still, silent clearing surrounded by a copse of evergreens. Only a light layer of snow covered the ground within the shelter of the trees. It was a place of peaceful enchantment, where
green boughs glistened with a heavy frosting of white, where the snow squeaked beneath the feet, and where spirits soared as high as the birds that flew near the treetops.

Suddenly Maxim chuckled, feeling a need to lighten the moment, and whirled about in a circle, snatching Elise's breath as he clasped his arms close about her. When he halted, she pressed her brow to his temple and, dizzy with delight, breathed out a plea. “Oh, please, my heart is spinning as fast as my head.”

“And thus I would have you swoon from my kisses, fair maid,” he murmured, turning his face to hers until their lips were nearly touching.

Unconsciously Elise threaded her fingers through the short-cropped hair that lay on his nape. “Are you so sure of your mastery over me, Maxim?”

“I'm certain of naught but your firm hold over me,” he avowed softly. “Would that you could feel the same.”

Elise felt the threat of blurted-out confessions and commitments that had not been thoroughly considered hovering near the tip of her tongue and spoke with more than a wee vein of truth. “Methinks I would do well to use caution when considering life with you, for I would be ever-fraught with the fear that you would whisk away another young maid to your palace far afield.” She chuckled. “There also looms a threat that you might be tempted to give Spence and Fitch the task of carting me off to some other foreign port to be rid of me. Should that ever happen, I vow to see you drawn and quartered ere my revenge be sated.”

“The deuce you say!” Maxim gave her a quick toss into the air, eliciting a gasp. When his arms closed about her again, his grinning face pressed close above her own. “Perhaps I should be wary of your intent?”

“As much as I should be wary of your purpose,” Elise rejoined. Once again feeling her defenses weakening, she pressed a hand to his chest and pushed herself away until she could look him squarely in the eye. “Now behave yourself, foul fellow, and my good behavior will stand. I would have a moment of privacy from you and all mankind.”

Maxim slowly grinned and jerked his head toward a thick growth of trees. “Might you consider that secluded spot sufficient for your needs, madam?”

“You are uncompromisingly bold and brash,” Else accused.

Maxim rubbed his nape against her soft fingertips as she unconsciously teased the curling ends of his hair. “I've naught to offer you but myself, fair maid,” he breathed warmly, touching her brow with his lips. “Flawed though I be, ‘tis all I have.”

An incredible warmth enveloped Elise's heart as she searched his eyes and found a strange sincerity there. They stared at each other so long it seemed the world had ceased its motion. Then a shout from the camp echoed through the forest, shattering the spell.

“Maxim? Elise? Vhere are yu?”

Maxim let her legs slide beneath her until her feet reached the ground, and though her cloak, skirts, and petticoats were twisted askew, Elise
became conscious of the presence of a booted knee between her own and, ever so boldly, a large hand sliding over her breast. She found no desire in herself to pull away, and Maxim battled his own mounting desires as he forced his hands downward to her narrow waist. Reluctantly he set her from him, and as she appeared somewhat befuddled, he bent and swept down her rumpled skirts until they swung free of his leg. Behind him he could hear Nicholas thrashing through the woods.

As if she were naught but a wooden doll incapable of her own movement, Maxim took Elise by the shoulders and, turning her about until she faced the thick growth of trees, gave her a gentle shove. “Go tend your needs, madam. We've been found out.”

Cooling his mind and his body, he watched her enter a thicket and then faced Nicholas as that one charged into view.

“There yu are!” the captain exclaimed, puffing from his swift advancement through the deep snow. It was obvious from his haste that he had been informed of their exit from the coach. He halted and glanced around in confusion when he realized the one he sought was not in sight. “But vhere is Elise? I thought yu vere together.”

Maxim indicated the lone tracks leading into the trees. “She'll be back in a moment.”

Nicholas contemplated the small footprints, then twisted around to consider the pair of furrows opened through the drift, recognizing one as his own.

At his pointed stare, Maxim shrugged casually, hating to make an excuse, but knowing that any other declaration would have to come from Elise. “I
could hardly leave the maid to struggle through the drifts by herself. She was reluctant to ruin her hem, and I offered her assistance.”

Feeling some annoyance at the other man's boldness, Nicholas snatched the fur collar of his chamarre up close around his neck “I could have performed the service just as vell.”

“You were attending your own needs,” Maxim reminded him. “And the lady was in distress.”

The captain was hardly placated. “Yu needn't vait for her. I can escort her back to the coach.”

“As you wish,” Maxim replied and swept his hand before him in a brief gesture of obeisance.

A piqued frown touched Nicholas's brow as he stared after the man. The uncertainty of where he might now stand with Elise made him question his wisdom in asking Maxim to act as escort. He was not a fool to underestimate the magnetism of his lordship or the man's attraction to women. It was just that he had sensed a great measure of security while the pair waged their battles and aired their complaints against each other. He had not even questioned the sincerity of their emotions, for they had good cause to hate each other, and he had certainly never expected a softening of their hearts.

Elise suffered a moment of disappointment when she returned and found Maxim gone and the Hansa captain awaiting her. She could find no solace for the sudden feeling of guilt that assailed her in his presence, and though she was reluctant to admit her love for Maxim, she knew she had to dissuade the captain from further involvement. She searched for the words that would gently sever
whatever ties that had formed between them. Esteeming his friendship, she wanted to compose a rejection that was both tender and suitable, but she found nothing that seemed adequate, and for want of something better she gave comment on the weather. “It doesn't seem to be snowing as much now.”