Sleeping With The Enemy (11 page)

He was there, on
the other side of the door, hearing her pained sobs, and he cried too. The pain
in his heart was too much to take. Eventually, reluctantly, he steeled himself and
walked away. He took the elevator downstairs and descended to the streets of
New York. He took a cab to the Hudson River. He walked along the river as the
sun set. New York was alive at dusk, and the river was a beautiful sight to
behold at this time of the day, but he didn’t see the beauty in it all. His heart
was sore, and his mind was numb. He wanted a bullet to his chest that would end
all this pain. He walked aimlessly about, images of her filling his mind. A
deep pain churned in his heart and he found tears wetting his face.

If she has died at
least you know that she is never coming back. But she’s here, alive, breathing,
and you know you can have her…but she doesn’t want you. Nothing can be more painful
than that.

He walked around
for a long time, and still couldn’t find a reason why things had to suddenly go
off track when he had reached the finest moment of his life.

Seventeen

She was trapped
inside a big water tank made of glass. The top was shut tight with a lid. She
pushed hard against the lid but it didn’t move. She was holding her breath in
her lungs, and she felt them burn under the increased pressure of being denied
oxygen. She pushed with all the energy left in her against the lid, but the lid
refused to budge. She felt her lungs give up and her mouth begin to open
voluntarily. Water rushed into her and she choked…

She awakened
with an agonized scream.

Moments later
the door burst open and Paulina flung herself into the room with a deeply
concerned look on her face. She went to Rosina and sat next to her on the bed.
‘Rosie, what’s wrong?’

Rosin choked. ‘I
can’t breathe…can’t breathe!’ she gasped painfully and fell off the bed.

‘Oh my God!’
Paulina panicked. ‘I’m calling an ambulance.’

‘No,’ Rosina
tried to get out of the bed. ‘I’m…fine…I’m fine.’ Her feet were on the floor
now. She rose up. A dizzy spell caused her head to spin. The room revolved
around her in circles. She closed her eyes and tried to fight it, but the
dizziness refused to break free.

Then blackness.

* *
* * *

In her room at
the private hospital, Rosina lay awake, staring with unseeing eyes at the
ceiling. She was heavily sedated, but she could see her beloved sister,
Paulina, sitting there next to her on the bed.

‘Paulina,’ she
said in a dry, parched voice. ‘I was dizzy…I fell…’ her voice trailed off.

‘Ssh,’ Paulina
hushed. ‘Don’t talk. You’ll be fine.’

A moment of
silence passed.

Rosina spoke
again. Paulie?’

‘Huh,
sweetheart?’

‘Don’t tell
Ferdinand…please don’t tell him about me…’

‘Okay.’

‘Promise?’

Paulina searched
Rosina’s face until their eyes locked. She raised her sister’s left hand to her
lips and kissed it affectionately. ‘I promise.’

* *
* * *

The doorbell
rang.

He went quickly
to it, praying and hoping against all hope that when he opened it he would find
her standing there outside.

It was not her
though. It was her sister. Standing there with a very distraught face. He
recognized her from the portrait of her he had seen at Rosina’s apartment. ‘Mr.
Imposimato?’ she enquired when he opened the door.

‘Yes?’ he answered
concernedly, for some reason his heart beating wildly in his chest.

‘My
sister…Rosie…is very ill—.’

‘What happened?’

‘I don’t know,’
she said.

‘Where is she?’
he asked with growing concern, and then remembered his manners and invited her
inside the apartment. ‘Sorry, please come in—.’

‘No,’ she
quickly declined. ‘I can’t stay. Rosina needs me.’

‘Where’s—.’

‘She’s in
hospital. She begged me not to say anything to you, but I thought it was in
your best interests to know.’

‘I thank you,’
he said meaningfully.

‘Bye,’ she said,
turning to leave.

‘Wait,’ he said,
stopping her with a hand on her arm. ‘I’m coming with you.’

* *
* * *

She opened her
eyes from deep sleep and saw him sitting there on the bed next to her. Her face
transformed into an expression of rage, which swiftly transmuted itself into
murderous rage.

‘No,’ she
yelled. ‘Go away!’

She attacked
him, pummeling at him with her feeble fists angrily. He grabbed her wrists and
tried to calm her, but she fought him wildly, and her manic strength surprised
him. She broke free of his hold and clawed at his face with her fingers.

‘No!’ she screamed.
‘Paulina, get him out here! I don’t want to see you!’

‘Alright,’ he
surrendered, rising up and moving back from the bed. The agony of hurt was
etched in his face.

Rosina picked up
a glass of water from her bedside table and hurled it vehemently at him. It crashed
against his forehead and cut him badly. Momentarily blood trickled from a gash
the glass had made on his face.

At that precise
moment, nurses burst noisily into the room and forced him out. He stood outside
the room and looked in through the glass windows as they tried to calm Rosina
by drugging her.

Blood dropped
from the gash on his forehead and fell on his shirt. He did not feel the pain.
The pain he felt was on the inside. He felt helpless. He stood there and died a
million times, watching the love of his life fighting for her sanity, and
knowing that he had driven her to the edge of reason. He was guilty, he knew,
but he also wanted to hold her in his arms and make her forgive her.

He stood there
and felt helpless, and with each dying moment of his increasingly worthless
life, he knew that he would always love her more than she could ever hate him.

* *
* * *

She was heavily
sedated. She opened her eyes but they held no life. They were the dead eyes of a
zombie. She noticed him sitting there on the bed next to her and slowly pulled
herself to sit up.

They looked at each
other for a long time and didn’t speak.

He took her left
hand in his hands and stroked it gently, affectionately. ‘What happened, Rosina?’

She responded in
a weak, tired voice. ‘My mind told my body to commit suicide, but my body
refused…so my mind punished my body…’ She looked down.

He reached
forward to stroke her hair but she flinched back with such severity that he
shamefully drew back his hand.

A moment of
tense silence passed in the room.

It was broken by
her, pulling her hand from his grip. ‘I think it will be best for both of us if
you stop coming here.’

‘No, Rosina.’ It
was a cry of agony, a plea for reason to come to her mind. ‘You cannot do that
to me…to
us
.’

She fell silent.

‘You have to
think properly about this—.’

She glared at
him. ‘I’m irrational, practically losing my mind…and you want me to be
accountable for my actions?’

He didn’t
respond immediately. Looked down at his hands pensively, then brought his gaze
back to her eyes. ‘You told me once that to love is to receive a glimpse of
heaven.’ He paused and swallowed hard. ‘I would like to know what happened.’

‘I jumped high
for joy, and you removed the ground from beneath my feet.’ Tears fell in  rush
from her eyes and she fell back on the bed and sobbed bitterly, covering her
face in her hands.

He wanted to
take her in his arms, but he was also afraid of her reaction to his touching
her. He sat there and felt the tears race down his face.

* *
* * *

She came to him
in his dreams.

She was wearing
a pretty floral dress and was barefooted. He stared at the milky white of her
feet and loved her. She was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. She
looked beautiful and adorable, like an exotic princess he wanted badly but
couldn’t have.

She was holding
a mirror close to her face. For a long time she gazed into the mirror, until he
was forced to ask her, ‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m looking in
the mirror, trying to find myself, and it hurts me a lot because I can’t see
myself.’

He swallowed
hard and didn’t respond.

She placed the
mirror down and looked at him. Her eyes were lifeless. He felt a wave of mixed
desire and sympathy overpower him, but he didn’t move to hold her.

‘I’m trying to
let go of you,’ she said quietly. ‘But my heart won’t permit me to.’

A powerful
emotion overcame him and he fought back the tears that stung his eyes, but his
eyes clouded and she saw the hurt in them, but she was too far gone to accept
any mutual grief with him. She wanted him as far away from her life as
possible.

‘I want you to
go away. Please leave me alone, Ferdinando. If you care about me at all you’ll
understand that I don’t want you now,’ she said in a low, quiet, grief-stricken
voice.

He felt his
heart constrict and it became hard to breathe. It was such a painful feeling he
actually hoped the ground would open up and swallow him, to save him from this
churning, merciless torment he was facing.

It is very painful
to have to accept rejection by someone your heart has decided to love entirely,
wholesomely, without restraint. It is a feeling worse than death, because at least
death comes once – it doesn’t stay with the victim forever.

It is a pain greater
than anything you have ever felt. It is a torment worse than the worst grief
you’ve ever gone through. It is a pain that will not let go of you. It is a pain
that will never let go of you…until and unless you do something about it.

He looked into
her eyes, and he saw the loathing they held for him.

He went forward
to her and stood very close to her. For a long moment they looked at each
other. A tear rolled freely down the left side of his face. He swallowed hard
and said to her, ‘Rosina, I don’t want to harm you. I mean that. And I don’t
have much to say to you. What I want to say to you is that please don’t be
afraid of me…I won’t harm you. Please, do not be afraid of me.’

She didn’t answer.

‘Please, I’m
begging you, do not be afraid of me,’ he repeated.

Suddenly he
grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. He embraced her in a strong hug. She
didn’t fight. Didn’t move. Just buried her face in his chest and sobbed.

He cried with
her. ‘Don’t be afraid of me,’ he whispered. ‘Please don’t be afraid of me.’

He held her like
that and promised himself that he would never let her go. And he prayed to the
heavens that he would not wake up from this dream.

####

Discover other titles by M.N Providence at
www.smashwords.com

Connect with me:

e-mail:
[email protected]