Sleeping Beauty (21 page)

I thought back to what Darla had said about my being worse before exams or when I was having trouble with a boyfriend. Hmmm

You mean thats all there is to it? I asked when he was done. Some blood tests, treating the migraines and not running in the evening?

Its slightly more complicated than that, but the medications on the market since you last went through an evaluation should make it easy to control. He smiled at me sympathetically. And all that time you suffered with embarrassment and fear of doing something to harm yourself or someone else. The compassion in his eyes was palpable.

I, for one, am able to say that I know exactly how you feel. You see, Im a sleepwalker, too.

You are? I was dumbfounded.

Yes. Some of those stories you told about yourself? I could say the same things only it may have been worse for me because my fraternity brothers egged me on. If I hadnt fallen off the side of a building, I might actually have crawled into a second-floor office and stolen test scores from a chemistry class. He smiled and his eyes twinkled. That would have made it much harder for me to get into medical school.

So you do know what I mean.

I was still absorbing the full impact of that when he added, Ive been giving Dr. Grant lots of material for his book. Hes a stickler for privacy and not revealing anything that might identify a patient but I told him Id like to be a part of the book. I want the word out there that people like us can be helped.

You didnt happen to have an experience with some shelving and a car, did you? I ventured nervously.

Six thousand in damages on a car that I toppled some shelves onto. He winced. One of my more expensive mishaps. I suppose I should be glad there werent more.

Have you told Dr. Grant about this?

Of course. We discussed it not long ago, about the time you came in for testing.

Youre a legend in your own mind, Suze.

I was easy to room with unless I was under stress, according to Darla.

And my mother? You were such an angel when you were awake that it made up for all that.

And what had put me under stress? Worrying about sleepwalking, no doubt. Maybe I was the cause of some of my own problems after all.

My head was still spinning when I met Darla for lunch.

Whatd he say? she asked eagerly. Can he help you?

He thinks he can.

Fabulous.

I retrieved the notes Id taken in the clinic and laid them on the table. He made it sound easy. Both migraines and the fact that I work out at night make it worse. It may be hormonal. He says there are several new medications on the market since I was evaluated before and he wants me to try relaxation tapes before I go to bed. And I have to quit worrying about it.

Thats it? No brain reconstruction or beds made like straitjackets?

Very funny. I sat back and stared at the single crisp sheet of paper in front of me. He said I was straight-forward and easy to help.

Darla whistled. If youre easy, then who is difficult to help?

I cant name names, but at least I didnt, like the good doctor, try to rob an ATM in my pajamas or set my own house on fire.

Ironically, now it is my turn to wish David would call me. I owe him an apology but so far he hasnt responded to the messages I finally left for him.

In months and years past, the stress of it would have probably made me a moving target around my own house but now, I rarely move at night. The medication, according to Dr. Fielding, is working perfectly.

Too bad it cant undo my behavior toward David.

H ome alone, I relished the unfamiliar moments of tranquility. Sometimes its difficult to remember silence when one hasnt heard it for over two months. In fact, it can be a little unnerving sometimes, especially when one is not comfortable with her thoughts, as I am today.

When Darla and my mother took the boys for haircuts, I jumped at the opportunity to stay home. Last time we went in for a trim, the owner of my salon suggested that I never bring the twins in again, at least not together. Perhaps they can find a more kid-friendly, damage-proof shop. I gave them my full blessing to try.

So, instead of trying to cajole a hyperactive child to sit still for five minutes, I was sitting in a lawn chair with my eyes closed, enjoying the warm, late spring day dreaming of David and how I should have done things differently. Sometimes dreams I have when Im awake are even more painful than those I have when sleeping.

What happened to the boys? Did your sister come home?

I twisted off the lawn chair at the sound of the male voice. David towered above me, blocking the sun. Had I dreamed him into reality? I could make him out only in silhouette, his wide shoulders tapering to a narrow waist, his already long legs even more elongated by my skewed perspective. He looked gigantic, forbiddingand wonderful.

I scrambled to my feet, my heart thudding in my chest. I knew how I wanted our meeting to be. My hair would be glossy, my makeup flawless and my clothesWell, so much for that fantasy. I was wearing a ponytail, lip gloss and a pair of khaki shorts teamed with a camouflage-print T-shirt and looked more like G.I. Jane than a Hollywood starlet.

David, I didnt expect you

I decided Id better come to you because you dont seem to pick up my calls.

But I left several

I dont know what is going on with you, Suze. He sounded frustrated and angry. We need to settle this between us so we can both move on. His jaw was set and a frown marred his features.

Move on? So he had decided to rebuff my apologies on his answering machine and come here to end it once and for all. It serves me right, I suppose, but that reality did nothing to stem the tide of emotion that flooded every cell in me.

David, there are so many things I want to tell you. I made a mis But before I could even blurt out the word mistake a cacophony erupted inside my house. Charley, who had entered through the front door, pushed open my patio door and walked outside. There you are.

He was carrying a large laundry basket lined with a blanket. The basket was shifting from side to side in his arms, yipping and squealing. Chester sat at the screen door and yowled while the neighbors dogs on both sides of my house began to bark.

Charley walked over to us and put his load on the grass in front of us. The basket was filled with fat, squirming puppies. The rescued Lab crosses, by the look of them, yellow, chocolate and black, with round bellies, soft ears and black noses like little gumdrops.

Hi, David, long time no see.

David, bemused, thrust out his hand to shake Charleys. Whats this?

Some careless owner didnt spay his dog and she had a litter of ten pups. Charleys usually benign expression was hard. If I were making the laws, hed be paying a fine for this.

If you were making the laws, hed be in jail, I corrected. Charleys passion for animals knows no bounds and his sympathy for bad pet owners is nonexistent.

I thought maybe youd want to take a few until we can find homes. Theyre really too young to be weaned and they cant be placed yeteven if I could find homes for ten puppies in a rush.

Charley, have you forgotten? Ive got the twins. Dont you want me to get any sleep at all?

Im desperate, Suze. Cant you

Ill take a couple, David volunteered.

This silenced even Charley.

You? But dont you live in some fancy building downtown? How could you take puppies?

Theyre small and I have an enclosed balcony they can run in. Theyre too young to train so all Id need is a mountain of newsprint for the time being.

I looked at him in admiration. This man had owned puppies in the past. He knew the ropes.

Theyll mess things up, Charley warned. Puppies can be a dirty business.

I also have a cleaning lady. David bent down, picked up one of the pups and snuggled it on his shoulder. The pup promptly put its tongue in Davids ear. Besides, things have been a littlequietat my house.

Dont you go out for dinner or something? Charley asked, still in shock. Why would you need puppies?

Feeling like a homebody, I guess. David gave me a sharp look. Not that anyone really cares.

Wow, you arent the kind of guy I thought youd be, Charley marveled.

And what kind of guy is that?

I felt like crawling in a hole. Any ideas Charley had about him, David would know had come from me.

Suze told me about your great place. It just didnt sound like somewhere, you know, homey, a place to have pets.

Maybe Ive changed. Perhaps homey is my new style.

Charley accepted that as if it werent a complete turn-around in Davids image. Okay, sure. He looked at me. Suze, have you still got that plastic kids swimming pool? Ill put the puppies in something larger. Without waiting for an answer, he sprinted toward my garage.

You dont have to take them, you know. I put a couple of the pups on the grass to roll around. They were so fat they looked like gold and brown sausages with tails.

I want to. He studied me but there was no warmth in his eyes. I dont think you know me very well, Suze. But you certainly like to decide what it is I think.

No, David, this isnt about you. Its myself that has been a stranger to me. I locked my gaze with his. Its me I need to get to know. I hope Ive discovered that in time.

My words piqued his interest. At least he didnt walk away and leave me with all the squealing pups.

Darla was the next to add to the confusion. She and my mother returned with the newly sheared boys. The twins immediately tumbled to the ground, rolling with the armload of puppies Charley had loosed. Mother eyed David slyly before turning her attention to rescuing the pups from the twins.

My father, here to pick up my mother, meandered into the yard next. He seemed unfazed by the commotion, taking it as an everyday event.

What is this, a family reunion? Charley inquired. If each of you will take two puppies to foster, Ill have my problem solved in no time.

David negotiated himself closer to me as the yard grew more crowded. Id hoped to talk to you alone, David said quietly. Counting the puppies, there were already eighteen of us present.

Get in line, I sighed.

Before David could respond, my father clapped him on the shoulder. So youre the fellow were hoping my daughter brings into the family.

Davids eyebrow tilted upward and he glanced at me. I shrugged helplessly. My life is totally out of control. Let him try to figure it out. Maybe I could get him to forgive me if I pleaded insanity. Looking around my yard, anyone could see how Id been driven to it.

Tell me, David, my father said chattily, since you understand sleepwalkers, did Suze ever tell you about the time she ran into the neighbors house wearing only her underpants and a smile?

Dad, youre saying that like it happened yesterday. I was only four years old!

David didnt seem to hear me. He grinned widely, enjoying being sucked into the madness.

Chester, still hearing the sound of canines in the backyard, skulked at the patio door, trying to get a glimpse of the foul beasts, the dreaded demon dogs. When Mother opened the screen door to go into the house, he bolted out, past her, around David and my father and straight up the oak tree in my backyard.

When Chester got as high as he possibly could, he looked down, realized he was scared of heights and began to meow piteously.

Well, there are three big strong men out there, get him down! my mother yelled from the kitchen. Im going to make lunch.

Mothers in the kitchen; Chesters in a tree; Charleys up a ladder; Davids in shock and the twins areOh, no. Where are the twins?

We found them in the tool shed my father had left open when hed gotten the ladder to rescue Chester. I dont have much in the way of gardening equipment or carpenters tools, but they had found a large glass jar full of nails and a magnet that was entertaining them royally. Tommy, in his pale yellow shorts, had sat in a spot of spilled WD-40, which had permanently blackened his backside. Terry had tried to help his brother clean up and had the rest of the oil smeared across his hands, arms, white shirt and the lower half of his face.

Not so much damage, really, when I consider what they could have done if theyd found the hammer and saw.

David watched me distract and direct the boys back toward the puppies before coming up behind me to touch my arm.

Darla, now on the ladder and holding a can of cat food, was still trying to coax Chester down from the tree.

How do you do it? David asked with wonderment in his voice.

Do what? This is a relatively normal Saturday afternoon for me.

Thats exactly what I mean. Can we talk? Privately?

I pointed to the gazebo in the back corner of the yard.

I was grateful for the cover of vines that hugged the latticed walls of the octagonal outdoor room. Privacy, at last.

David dropped onto the bench that circled the inside of the gazebo and I sat across from him. What I wanted to do was touch him, so the distance was not only useful but necessary

I came here, frankly, to attempt to put an end to whatever has been going on between us, he began, but now Ive lost my will. You and your life are fascinating to me, Suze. Even though you dont seem to care to be around me, I want to be around you. He appeared puzzled by the admission. And Im not quite sure why.

Chaos theory? I offered unhelpfully.

He leaned back on the bench and studied me. What are we going to do about us, Suze?

I held up my hand to stop him from going further. Before you say another word, you have to hear me out. I need to apologize. I know you arent interested in the ones I left on your answering machine, but I want to try one more time.

What apologies? I havent had a message from you. Comprehension began to dawn on his face and a flush started up his neck. Ever since the power outage in my building. I had a note on my door concerning it when I got back from my speaking tour.

So he hadnt received my brief embarrassed calls.

He raked his long, well-formed fingers through his hair. I just assumed that no one had called. It never occurred to me that the system might have been wiped clean. He looked genuinely grieved by the idea. I figured that your silence was your way of saying get out and stay out of my life.