Authors: Judy Baer
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #General, #Religious, #Christian
My uncle says that Ill have to work hard to keep a good reputation if I plan to be a politician. He says I dont want to do anything that an opponent could use against me in an election.
So?
I know its not your fault but what you do is pretty weird. I dont think I can risk it. What if you jump in a car and run somebody over? How would that look?
Youre dumping me because I sleepwalk? I burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it. Then I really looked at the expression on his face. Youre serious!
Im sorry, Suze, but its my life were talking about. I cant take any chances, if you know what I mean.
No, I didnt know. Not then and not now. All Id known was that I was risky to care about because I might embarrass someone who tried to love me.
I stared hard at Bens photo again and noticed, now that I was so far from the heady blush of love, that his chin was weak and his eyes, even in a photo, were averted.
It was another case of being fortunate to have escaped. Ben now runs his fathers machine shop in rural North Dakota, has six children and, according to Darla who still keeps track of him, has a string of failed political attempts including for Congress, state senate and mayor of a town of nine hundred people.
Yes, indeed, its a good thing Ben got rid of me.
Hey, Suze, its Charley.
A thick knot tightened in my stomach. Ive been waiting for his calland dreading it.
He sounded terribly cheerful, something I wasnt after my sleepless night. It made me angry that Ben had the power to keep me awake even now. Of course, it wasnt really Ben that was troubling me. It was the legacy of hurt and self-doubt hed left me with. I knew his excuses were feeble and ridiculous but how theyd made me feel had, through the years, stuck with me like glue.
Chippers new owner will be there about 7:00 p.m. to pick him up. Apparently she didnt come any sooner because she wanted to go on a dog-shopping extravaganza first. She read me her listbed, bones, collars, jacket and booties, treats, customized water and food dishes and who knows what else. Shes also ordered a dog house made to match her furniture so that if he needs privacy he has somewhere to go.
Shes not going to dress him in those outfits they sell, is she? Id hate to see Chipper dressed up like Tinker-belle and come to my door trick-or-treating at Halloween.
I thought youd be happy to know what a good home hes getting. This dog has landed in the lap of luxury.
Its just that Ill miss him on my lap.
I know, Charley said sympathetically, but now, thanks to you, another animal has a second chance at life.
I told you, Im not taking another one for a while so dont bother bringing it over. Ive got my hands full. Having my nephews in the house is equal to providing foster care for a dozen ferrets, sixteen kittens and a rhinoceros.
He didnt even tell me he thought I was exaggerating. He knows my nephews.
Are you sure? Chester is going to need an experienced foster parent and youre my best.
Flattery will get you nowhere, Charley. I just cant.
At 8:00 p.m., after Chippers new owner had come to pick him up, I began to rethink my decision.
I had to be happy for the little dog. Mama , as his new owner prefers to be referred to when speaking of her budding relationship with Chipper, popped a rhinestone dog collar around his furry neck, fed him treat after treat from the pocket of her Donna Karan coat and cooed over him as if shed just given birth. No, Chipper will do fine. Im the one whos lonesome.
But how can one be lonesome when one has two darling rascally boys to keep her company?
They are too much company, actually. Nonstop, indefatigable, ridiculously enthusiastic company. Hed been gone less than an hour and I already wanted to sit serenely on the couch with Chipper, pet his fur and feel his little body relax against mine.
I almost reached for the phone to call Charley and ask him that if he had something less difficult than this needy Chester he kept talking about, but it rang before I could pick it up.
Suze? Hi. You go it on the first ring. I didnt expect that. It was David. Even over the phone his voice is splendid.
Im glad you called. You just saved me from doing something very foolish.
And that is?
I handed Chipper over to his new owner today.
The little-three legged dog?
David probably thought I should be happy to get rid of such a yippy, snippy creature.
Yes. Its the hardest part about fostering animals. I always fall in love with them. Then I recalled Chipper leaving my house wrapped in a cashmere throw and having sweet nothings whispered in his ear and added, But hes going to have it much better than he had it here. Designer dog food and everything.
So whats wrong? Sounds like a great gig for Chipper.
Im lonely, thats all. If you hadnt called I might have picked up the phone and called Charley. He runs the rescue site and he says he has a new animal for me. Im taking a couple months off while the boys are here and if Id followed my impulse I would have regretted it later.
So glad I could help. He paused before adding, But Im sorry youre lonely. Is there something I can do about that?
There was definitely a lot he could do for me, but I didnt have time for a new relationship as long as the twins had me wrapped up 24/7.
I dont think
How about dinner? Ill be only a few blocks from your house tomorrow. Ill pick you up and bring you home again.
I have the boys.
Did your sister leave you a list of babysitters?
Oh, hes a smart one, this Dr. David.
A short one. Not many people come back to Mickey and Jeffs place twice.
See if you can get someone to come for a few hours. We wont make it late. Besides, I hear in your voice that you could use a break.
Oh, boy, how could I!
Have the sitter there by six forty-five. Ill pick you up at seven.
How could I resist?
Ill have to call you if I cant coerce someone into watching the boys.
Youll find someone. I already know that about you. If you want to do something, you get it done. And if you dont want to do it, nothing can convince you otherwise.
Was he referring to an admirable if tenacious quality in my personality? Or my stubbornness about not letting him play with my brain, give me an electrode helmet and watch me through a one-way window while I sleep?
I backed out the door to my house just as David pulled into the driveway. He got out of the car, opened the passenger door and strolled up the walk, smiling.
Immediately I put a finger to my lips to signal him that he was not to make a sound. The babysitter, a mature woman who should have known better than to agree to come to my house, was in the kitchen with the twins. Shed engaged them with the offer of some very sloppy finger-painting if they didnt cause an uproar when I left. Their promises always have time limits and I only had about two minutes to get out of the way.
Hurry, jump in the car. Lets go!
We were turning the corner when I glanced back and saw my front door fly open. Tommy stood in the doorway scanning the street. Terry, no doubt, had the sitter, a woman who had raised nine children, occupied in the kitchen.
That was close. I sank down in the lush leather of his car seat. I almost didnt make it out.
What might have happened if wed been seen?
Who knows? Maybe nothing, maybe everything. The boys like it when I go out and have fun. They just want to come with me.
Tonight is yours, Suze. Your wish is my command.
My wish was that I didnt have a barrelful of sleep disorders, I hadnt met David under such bizarre circumstances and that hed plucked me out of a roomful of beauties as the love of his life, not picked me up off a hotel-room floor while I was gnawing ice cubes and begging for heavenly help. I also wished hed stay interested in me until my responsibilities with the twins were done so I could rest and stop looking like a sleep-deprived prisoner. It just wasnt going to happen.
Still, I had this perfect late spring evening and I planned to enjoy it.
What are my options?
What do you like? Baseball, dinner and theater at the Guthrie, the zoo, the IMAX, the conservatory
A picnic at Minnehaha Falls. Its a warm, beautiful evening. It was a test. Not just anyone can come up with a picnic on a moments notice. Of course, I had underestimated David.
We stopped at a strip mall where David got out and went into a store, then came out with a large wicker basket outfitted with plates, forks and glasses.
Next stop, the market. Tell me, what do you like to eat?
Picnic food. I was enjoying this.
At the market we found roasted chicken; potato, fruit and pasta salads; olives; croissants, watermelon and a half-dozen pastries. Before I knew it, we were sitting on the rocks near the falls watching the churning water and feeling the spray on our faces.
After we ate, David lay on a blanket hed brought from the trunk of his car and I sat at his side, my arms wrapped around my knees, my face to the sky.
What were you like as a child, David? I keep imagining you in a tiny suit reading encyclopedias.
His hearty laughter enveloped me. I can assure you that I didnt own a suit until junior high. I did, however, like pants with large pockets. With all the stones, sticks, frogs and lizards in the world, one can never have too many pockets, you know.
We talked idly and watched the couples who came to the falls. A wedding party moved into view, the bride in a painfully white gown embellished with bows and a groom who looked as if he was not old enough to drive.
When did weddings become competitions to see who could fit the most bridesmaids around an altar? The couple was trailed by nine women in pale blue dresses. The unfortunate dresses either made their wearers look pencil thin or like lumpy bags of marbles. Lagging even farther behind was a cluster of grooms-men who looked like a clutch of unhappy penguins.
Silently we watched them posing for photos with the falls in the background.
The thing that stood out above all else, at least in my mind, was the comfortable, easy relationship between the bride and groom. It was obvious that most of the time the gaggle of people with them and the curious passersby were invisible to them.
A verse from Proverbs popped into my mind. The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the Lord. This young man had obviously found his silver and gold.
I had never been Bens treasure, nor he mine. We would have had a life of emotional poverty together.
I dont know why I asked the question but it spilled out of my mouth before I had time to filter it. David, are you easily embarrassed?
I shouldnt have looked at those old photos of Ben last night.
His handsome face was blank, as if he didnt understand the question.
Have you ever been ashamed of someone close to you?
Embarrassed about what? He looked genuinely puzzled.
Oh, I dont know, I mumbled vaguely. Insanity in the family, criminals, sleepwalkers
He burst out laughing. Insanity, crime and sleepwalking? Youre talking apples and oranges here, Suze. Whats more, we love people for what they are. We dont have to like what they do but that doesnt mean we cant love them. He studied me intently. I sense a hidden agenda here.
I jumped to my feet and held out my hands to him. I have a sudden urge to see a movie. When he hesitated, I added, You promised, you know.
I didnt breathe a sigh of relief until we were settled in our theater seats, cloaked in darkness and burdened with popcorn and soda enough to feed a football team. I was too transparent. David seemed to see right through me. Still, its comforting to know that hes not as judgmental as my youthful boyfriend had been.
Somehow between the previews and the movies conclusion, Davids hand had found mine in the bottom of the popcorn tub and wouldnt let go. I cant say I fought it either. We were still happily clinging to each other as we left the theater.
To my surprise and delight, the babysitter said she had actually enjoyed the experience and yes, she would come again. For a price.
Theyre more work than I thought, the woman said. I had to catch each one and put them to bed several times before they realized I meant business. And bathsWell, youll have to get all new toiletries. Theyd made a concoction with the lot of them in the bathtub before I caught them. Youll need milk and eggs, too. I couldnt get the shelf back on the inside of your refrigerator door after Terry tried to ride on it and pulled it off.
I held my hand in the air to stop the torrent of information. I didnt care. The boys were alive, the house had not burned down and the woman, for only twice what Id offered her tonight, would return. A cabinet full of shampoo and perfume and the cost of a repairman was a small price to pay for a night of freedom.
I wandered around after she left, closing drapes and turning off lights.
The house was too quiet. Hammie was asleep on the wheel but even if hed been awake, I wouldnt have heard him now that David had repaired it. Chipper was not there to greet me at the door with his high-pitched yap. And after an evening with David, the night seemed surprisingly empty without him.
C harley caught me as I was about to leave my office the next afternoon.
What are you doing here?
Thought Id come by and take you out for a quick cup of coffee before you pick up the dynamic duo. He stared at me. You look horrible, whats up?
Im not sleeping well, thats all. I thought Id get a nap before I got the boys.
Chamomile tea, then. I need to talk to you.
I stared at him. Charley and I have known each other forever but Id never had him come to find me at the office. Is something wrong?
Yes and no. He pointed to a java joint. How about there?
It must be serious, for you to drive here to talk to me.
Let me get you some tea, then well talk.
I had nervous butterflies in my stomach by the time he returned with the beverages. Dont keep me in suspense any longer, I ordered. Why are you here? Is it good news or bad?