Sisters in Love (Snow Sisters, Book One: Love in Bloom Series #1) (16 page)

“Okay, Rusty. Last time we spoke, you’d taken
him to practice and he’d ditched it, and if my memory serves me
correctly, he said some pretty harsh things about his father.”
Danica loved when she was on top of her game, and shifting the
focus to Rusty allowed her to fall back into line. This, she could
handle.

“Yes, well, the story thickens. Sally asked
me if I’d take Rusty out sometimes, just so he has someone to talk
to. She actually suggested every week. I think she needs the
break.”

“How do you feel about that? Will you feel
like a glorified babysitter, or is there more to this?” Danica
watched him settle comfortably in the chair, looking less like a
confused, frightened tiger.

“No. I think she really wants him to have a
guy to talk to. There’s more to it, though, and I just feel funny
talking about it all.” He clenched his fingers around his
thighs.

Danica cleared her throat, trying not to
notice that the frightened tiger was back—the criminally handsome,
frightened tiger. “Only you can decide what you want to share with
me.” Why did everything she say end up sounding a lot like she was
flirting?

He stood and paced, a habit Danica was
getting used to. She only hoped this time it didn’t end in him
blowing up.

“Sally told me some things about Dave that
I’m really having trouble with. I know we talked about my wondering
if I was a good enough friend, but my inadequacies…” He turned to
face Danica and lifted his eyebrows. “Your word, not mine.” He
smiled. “My inadequacies of friendship are worse than I thought.
Dave was having an affair, and I had no idea.”

“Ah, I see. And Sally knew this?”
That
poor woman
.

“Yes, she knew, and she knew about Rusty not
having practice. I didn’t ask for details—I don’t want to know,
really—but I think I should have known Dave was lying to me, don’t
you?”

“I didn’t know him, but my thought is, not
necessarily. You knew what he wanted you to know, or you saw what
he wanted you to see.”

“That sounds like a cop-out. You’re letting
me off easy.” Blake wasn’t joking.

“No, I’m being real. Think about it, Blake.
When you pick up a woman, do you let her see everything about your
life, or only pieces of it?”
How much would you have let Kaylie
see?

“
Pfft
. That’s hardly the same thing.
We were friends, and most of the women I’ve…Well, the women weren’t
friends; they were just hookups.” He leaned back again and crossed
his arms.

“It doesn’t matter. In any interaction—even
ours, now, here—we show only what we want to show. Everyone does
it. If Dave was fooling around, for whatever reason, he kept that
hidden from you, and probably all the prying in the world wouldn’t
have changed that.”

Blake leaned forward again. “If you could
have seen how hurt Sally was...It was awful. I’m sure she wonders
every day if it was her fault, or what he did with that other
woman—the woman who I actually saw at the funeral home.” He shook
his head.

“I’m sure she’s devastated. Trust is
everything in a relationship.” She waited until he looked up and
then reiterated. “In any relationship.”

“So, maybe Dave didn’t trust me?”

“Or maybe he did, and he knew you might tell
him something he didn’t want to hear.”

“Whatever the reason, it made me realize that
I don’t want to be that person. I’m not married, and who knows if I
ever will get married, but I don’t want to be the person doing the
hurting. On any level.” His eyes softened and he said, “I’m really
glad I’m here, because a few weeks ago I would have probably slit
my wrists before allowing myself to feel that way. I don’t really
want to be that guy anymore. I want to be someone who people are
proud of.”

“That’s a great goal to have, Blake, and I’m
confident that whatever you see as your inad—as your faults—you can
overcome them and turn things around.”

“Sally didn’t even tell her family. She was
too ashamed. I think on some level, Dave must have been ashamed of
himself, too. Otherwise, I’m sure he would have said something to
me. And not only that, but Sally doesn’t really have strong
animosity toward the other woman. She almost understands it.” He
shook his head. “I just don’t get it.”

“What goes on in a marriage will never be
understood outside of the walls around that union. You can’t guess
the whys or hows of someone else’s relationship, or what they’re
feeling. Some women might feel as though they’d lost their husband,
and nothing else matters, while others might blame the
mistress.”

Blake’s forehead wrinkled. “But she should
hate that woman. She should hate Dave and maybe even hate me for
who I am. I don’t know. It just seems weird.”

“That’s not for you to decide. You can feel
bad for Sally and Rusty—or not. You can make a choice to help them
through their hard time, or not. But whatever your decision,
recognize that you may never understand why Dave did what he did or
why Sally feels what she feels.” She set the notebook down. She
softened her tone. “We can only control who we are, Blake. You are
doing all the appropriate things. You are  working on
yourself, so that you—and no one else matters here but you—can take
pride in the person you are.” Danica thought about how true that
statement was. How many people had she counseled who had expected
others to make them happy or complete? That had to come from
within, and Danica had found that after her clients found a sense
of pride in themselves, the happiness had an easier path to follow.
Her thoughts turned to Michelle, which led her to think of Nancy.
What was she doing to find a sense of pride in her life? How much
must it have hurt to be turned away by Michelle? Danica wondered if
she should be having the same conversation with Nancy so she didn’t
spiral back down into the bottle.

“Intellectually, I get that, and I want to
help Rusty. I have no idea what I’ll do with him, though.”

“What does Sally want you to do?”

“Just be there for him, take him out
sometimes.” Blake glanced at the clock. “We’re almost out of time,
and I really want to talk about the last thing today, too.”

Danica was relieved. She wanted to hear what
he had to say about the bar, and she still wasn’t sure if she’d
mention that Kaylie was her sister. “Are you okay with the whole
Rusty thing? We didn’t really define what you should do with
him.”

“Yeah, it helped. I do want to help him, and
I’ll find something to do with him. How hard can it be?”

“Okay, then let’s move on.” Danica’s pulse
sped up as she thought about Kaylie and Blake together.

“The other night, I went to Bar None.” He
searched her eyes, and Danica did her best to keep them
nonjudgmental. “Kaylie was there.”

Oh God. It’s now or never
. “Yes.”
Chicken. I should have told him.

“Well, she and I…we were talking.” He looked
down, then sheepishly up at Danica. “Flirting, we were flirting.”
He blushed. “This is really hard for me, talking about this, but
it’s important. Especially if I’m going to be a good influence on
Rusty.”

“It’s okay. Take your time. I’m glad you’re
thinking of Rusty. That’s nice.”

“Okay, well, I was ready to go home with her,
and I mean ready.” The way he said
ready
made Danica swallow
hard. She envisioned him standing with a huge erection. She felt a
flush run up her neck and cleared her throat to distract her own
thoughts.

“Go on.”

“I didn’t do it. I didn’t go home with her.”
He searched her eyes again, and this time Danica smiled. “But you
probably already knew that.”

Danica didn’t confirm or deny his statement.
“How did that feel?” The term
cold shower
came to mind.

 “Good, actually. She’s beautiful, but
she would have been a one-night stand, and not that I’m looking for
a relationship, but I am trying not to be
that
guy anymore.
So, well...you know your sister is very attractive.”

Ouch. I know it all too well
.

“I was really proud of myself.”

“Yes, she is.”
If I had a dollar for every
time I heard that
. “That’s a really positive step, Blake. I’m
proud of you.” Danica blinked away her fear, gathered courage like
a blanket around her.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was your sister?”
he asked.

“There wasn’t a need. When we met, you
weren’t my client. It would have seemed inappropriate for me to
bring it up out of the blue, but now, well, I’m glad you know.” She
watched him process the information.

A smile crept across his lips. “Good thing I
came to my senses before taking her home.”

“Blake, you can date anyone you’d like. We’re
therapist and client, and it’s none of my business who you spend
time with.”
Even if the little, green-eyed monster chases me in
circles
.

“Of course, right.”

They looked at each other, each waiting for
the other to break the silence. Danica felt the pulse of their
hearts in the space between them. She reached for the notebook, the
pen, anything to carry her out of the trance of the energy
emanating from Blake’s body.

“Okay, well, what would you like to talk
about with regard to…all of that?” she asked.

“Just that I’d done it, and it wasn’t as
difficult as I’d imagined it might be. But it made me realize that
maybe I’m a pretty lonely guy after all. I never would have guessed
it, but when I went home that night, my condo was too quiet. I
don’t spend much time at home—well, I never used to—and lately,
when I’m there, I find myself thinking of my father and what he
must have felt like without my mom for all those years. I think he
was lonely, even though he was busy and he had me.”

“You know, being alone doesn’t have to equate
to being lonely, although it’s fine if it does. Maybe you should
spend time getting to know yourself a little better. You’re a skier
and a business owner, but what else?” She glanced at the clock. “In
fact, let’s use this for our next session. I’m going to give you
homework.”

Blake lifted his right eyebrow.

“Not an essay, just a list. If you could come
up with four things that define you, I think it would help us
through this.”

“Four things.” Blake nodded, thinking. “Okay,
sure. And, there’s just one thing I want to leave you with.”

Danica stood, “Yes?”

Blake stood, just inches from her, his chest
within touching distance. He looked down at her, and the space
between them once again filled with desire. She saw it in his
smoldering, dark eyes, felt it coming off him in waves.
I’m
losing it
. Danica took a step past him toward the door.

“I’m beginning to wonder if Dave committed
suicide.” Blake grabbed his coat and followed Danica. He clenched
his thick parka within both fists. That hopeful,
help-me
look returned to his eyes.

“That’s a heavy one,” Danica said quietly.
“Work on your list, and let’s talk about that next time.”

Blake walked out of her office and turned
back as she was closing the door. “I almost forgot to tell you.
Jeffrey asked me to be in the wedding. Old college buds and all.
So, will I see you next weekend at the pre-wedding hurrah?”

College buds? Danica made a mental note to
work with him to explore his friendship with Jeffrey. Maybe Blake
wasn’t as inept at social and emotional situations as he thought he
was. Danica had forgotten all about the pre-wedding party, and now
he’d be there, too. How would she pull that off? She’d have to
remain sober, that was for sure. “Yup.”

Blake wondered if everyone experienced
life-altering crossroads, or if he was the only one who felt swept
away with the avalanche of chaos in his life. He stepped onto the
sidewalk, the icy air stinging his cheeks. Was he hallucinating, or
had there been some sort of underlying romantic current running
between him and Danica? He swore he saw want in her eyes. This
celibacy routine must be affecting his senses or something. He
zipped his coat and headed for his car.

The main road to AcroSki was backed up, so he
took the back roads. When he came to the stop sign at the corner of
Cemetery Drive and Nauget Street, he turned right instead of left.
He didn’t think about where he was going. He didn’t intentionally
head for Dave’s grave. It was as if the car had a mind of its own
and he was along for the ride.

He parked in the cemetery lot, grabbed a
scarf from the backseat, and wrapped it around his neck, covering
his nose from the bitter air. He stepped from the car and stood in
the wind, staring in the direction of Dave’s grave. There were
three cars in the parking lot, though Blake saw no other people on
the cemetery grounds. He didn’t know what he was going to do when
he got there, but he was drawn toward Dave’s grave. He shouldered
the wind, and a few moments later, he was standing above the
freshly tilled earth. With his hands buried deep in his coat
pockets, he stared at the rich, brown soil, a sharp contrast to the
fresh, snowy carpet around the gravesite.

Blake looked up at the sky. “Dave? Was I a
good friend? Was it my life that made you reach outside of your
marriage, because if it was, buddy, I’m sorry. It’s not so great.”
He heard the footsteps before she appeared beside him. He expected
to find Sally, but instead was faced with the woman from the back
of the church.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hello,” Blake said, and shot his eyes back
to the ground, feeling awkward in her presence. What if Sally came
by and saw them? Would she think he’d been lying and that he’d
known about her the whole time?

“Dave was a good man,” she said.

Blake nodded, unsure how good of a man Dave
had really been. “Were you a friend?” Blake couldn’t help it. He
wanted to know if she’d cover up the affair.