Silent Whisper (28 page)

“Anna did divorce me,” I admitted. I knew this was going to piss her off since it had been the cause of our daughter’s anger towards me.

“What?” she stopped and immediately took a step backward, her eyes flashing anger. “You’ve married someone else?”

“Five years ago,” I replied. “We met online.”

“On what?”

“On social media,” I tried to explain.

“I don’t know what that means,” she replied, “But I think you’ve got one helluva a lot of nerve, buster!”

I rubbed the back of my neck in frustration. “For god’s sake, Karlie, it’s not like I could’ve married you. You’re dead,” I said, stating the obvious, my arms outstretched as if pleading with her to understand this.

She turned away from me and paced back and forth over her own grave, her arms waving wildly as she laid me out verbally. “Did you know that because of my
eternal
love for you, I’ve delayed my own transition past the pearly gates? Huh?”

I shook my head, totally amazed at her energy when ripping me a new ass.

“Well I have, Dominic. I had unfinished business as they say here in Limbo, and my God, I’m fucking glad to see that
you
didn’t let the grass grow under
your
feet before getting on with
your
life!”

“Karlie, please?” I pleaded, not wanting her to be upset or hurt by something that had nothing to do with her or my love for her.

“Please what? Please understand that I obviously loved you more than you loved me? Or understand that I felt an eternal commitment to you which, obviously hasn’t been reciprocated? Or how about the fact that I haven’t had sex in over twenty-eight years and obviously you haven’t gone without!”

“Now stop!” I heard myself yell. I’d never yelled like that at Karlie while she was on earth, and here I was, yelling at her spirit. How totally fucked up was that?

But she did stop her rant, and I took that opportunity to close the distance and pull her into my arms once again. She couldn’t move, though she was trying.

“Listen to me,” I growled. And she knew that I meant business. She stopped struggling against me, and I gave her a moment to compose herself.

“I’ve loved you since the day I pulled your child’s body from the fire in that house, do you understand?”

She gave me a look, but remained silent.

“Years later I was so fucking haunted by the memory of you that I found you and I made contact with you against my better judgment. It was not anything that I wanted or asked for, it was something that continued to gnaw at me, and served to push me towards you and it was powerful.

“I fell
in love
with you then, and the magnetic force of that love became even stronger, Karlie. I loved you like I’ve loved no one else…ever. You are my heart - and my soul, but most importantly -
you
are my eternal love. There’s not one day that has gone by - not one - since the day that I found you at Belle’s that I’ve
not
thought about you. There are times to this day that I still ache for you because that’s just how strong my love for you remains. Nothing will ever change that.”

I looked at her and saw a single tear roll down her cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb. “Do you think that I don’t blame myself for the fact that you’re not here with me right now? Do you think that regret hasn’t washed over me at least a million times in the last twenty-eight years? I was
responsible
for you, and I failed. I
fucking
failed. So, tell me what to do, Karlie, and I promise you that I will do it. If you tell me to join you now, I will see that it happens. I will gladly leave this world if it means that I can be with you in yours, amore bello.”

“No Dominic,” she said quickly, pressing her fingers against my lips to silence me. “Don’t ever talk like that or we won’t be together,” she whispered. “Promise me?”

“You know, Karlie, they say that everyone has one true love in their life, only one, and I believe that. I know that you are mine. My wife, Sheila? She was a widow when I met her through social media. She still grieves for her dead husband, and I understand that because I know that he was her one true love. I don’t begrudge her that and she doesn’t begrudge my love for you. And it’s because when Sheila and I are done with this…walk of life, we both have faith that our true loves will be waiting for us, and that we’ll be together again. At least, that is what I pray for.”

“Oh Dominic,” she sighed, wiping another tear from her cheek.

“Tell me what to do, love.”

“You need to stay put. You need to keep our daughter safe for as long as you are in this world. Parrish has a gift, although I’m not sure she’s going to regard it as one when she realizes the magnitude of it. But she has a calling and there’s work to be done. She may need your support from time to time, do you understand?”

“Not really,” I replied, smiling, “But I have a feeling somewhere along the way understanding will be provided.”

“You can count on it,” she replied, returning my smile with her dazzling one. “I kind of need to be going now, Dominic, this take-over takes a lot of energy from Parrish, and I’ve got to say good-bye to her for now…and to you, my love.”

“I understand,” I said, but I didn’t. I didn’t want Karlie to leave because I knew that I wouldn’t see her again until - well I didn’t
know
when. It was a piece of my heart that was being ripped out all over again. We’d only just been reunited and I needed just a little bit more of her. Again, it was if she read my mind.

“Hey, Dominic,” she said, “Remember when we slow danced at The Ritz in New York on my twenty-first birthday?”

“Of course,” I answered, my voice cracking now with emotion. “It was the first time I ever told you that I loved you.”

I could feel my eyes well up with tears.

Fucking weak…. I’m a weak son-of-a-bitch. Just like my father had shouted out to me that day when they cuffed him and led him out of the courtroom…

“Yes!” she replied excitedly, clapping her hands together. “Do you remember the song we were dancing to?”

“Sorry, no,” I answered honestly, brushing a tear from my cheek. “I suppose that I’m a shit for not remembering?”

“No, no - not at all,” she laughed. “How about one last dance, our daughter selected the song.”

“Here?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow.

“Yes
here
, silly. I have some Eric Clapton tune that Parrish likes rolling around in my mind that I’d like to hear.”

“Anything you want my angel,” I whispered hoarsely, trying my damndest not to bawl like a baby.

I watched in bewilderment to see just how she planned on pulling this one off. But I never should’ve underestimated the power of my Karlie’s spirit, because with one nod of her beautiful head, the first chords of a song I recognized immediately floated up to my ears, and snaked their way around my heart. She wrapped her arms around my neck. I placed my arms around her; my hands rubbing the small of her back gently as we started moving to the words of the music. I closed my eyes, never wanting this moment in time to end…ever.

‘Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?’

Her body molded perfectly to mine one final time, and I treasured these precious last moments that I had with her, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair, willing it to be ingrained into my memory forever. I closed my eyes, drinking in this last little bit of time we had together as if it were heavenly nectar itself, which I was fairly certain that it was.

‘Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?’

“Dominic?” she whispered against my neck.

“Yes love?”

“Do you still go to confession?”

“Yes, baby. I do.”

“Good. Don’t ever stop.”

“I won’t. I promise you.”

We continued to move against the mellow music. My heart was breaking all over again, being shredded into a million pieces and scattered to the never world, but I wouldn’t have changed a second of it.

“Karlie?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Dominic. Forever.”

I pulled back from her just a bit, and we allowed our lips to meet softly and sensually for one last kiss, my tongue finding hers briefly in the rhythm that was ours and ours alone.

Then she put her head back against my shoulder and together we listened to the final chords and lyrics of the song that seemed so fitting for us…and for this moment in time that we were allowed to share from the beyond.

When there was silence once again, I opened my eyes, feeling the warm tears rolling down my cheeks and knowing that she was gone. I couldn’t stop the sobs that followed, weak bastard that I was. I reached for my handkerchief, trying my best to compose myself for my daughter.

“Arrivederci, amore mio,” I whispered.

I looked around and saw Parrish sitting on a stone bench near the mausoleum, her face buried in her hands. I hurried over to her.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“I’m fine Dad,” she said, looking up at me. “I’m just exhausted is all.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” I said, helping her up. “Your mother said it would do that to you.”

“So, how did it go?” she asked.

I tried to give her a smile, and she noticed the wetness on my cheeks.

“That well, huh?”

I brushed my sleeve across my face, needing to be strong for my little girl, who wasn’t so little anymore. “So, you weren’t privy to anything that we discussed?”

“Nope. Ma had the sound filters on I guess.”

“It was good,” I said with a sigh. “It was…what we needed. I think she wants you to stick around. She needs to say good-bye to you. Would you like me to give you some privacy?”

“No, let’s go,” she said standing up, and stumbling a bit as she started off towards the parking lot.

I immediately put my arm around her to support her, and then brought her to a halt.

“Parrish, your mother wants to say good-bye to you.”

“I don’t give a damn,” she snapped. “I’m not ready to let her go. I just got her back and now…
what?
I have to say
good-bye
when it hurts like hell? I don’t
think
so.”

She pushed away from me taking angry strides towards the car.

“You’re just going to leave then?” I asked her. “You’re going to let her go on without talking to her one last time?”

“Don’t you get it, Dad? She’s all about having her unresolved issues resolved or she
can’t
go on. So, if I don’t allow her to say what she needs to say to me, then she can’t go!”

“That’s pretty selfish, don’t you think?” I snapped at her instantly regretting it.

“You,” she shouted, turning and pointing her finger at me, “You don’t
get
to judge me on selfishness. I’m not going back there and you can’t make me.”

Now she was acting like a petulant child. I wasn’t going to let her rationale keep my Karlie from going to her final destination, no matter how much I wanted her to stay in-between for my own selfish reasons. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head…from somewhere.

“Listen Parrish,” I said gently. “I understand how you feel, and if that’s how you want to leave things then who am I to tell you differently?”

“Right,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the car.

“Look, I’m going to get a couple of rooms for us at one of the local hotels. We’re going to have to stay over because of something I promised Karlie that I’d take care of tomorrow.”

“What?” she asked, turning quickly to look at me.

“It’s just something that I promised her that I would do tomorrow first thing when the office opens at the cemetery. It won’t take long.”

“What is it she wants you to do?”

“Buy the plot next to hers for my final resting place.”

“You’ve got to be kidding. Seriously?”

“Yes,” I replied. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to come along with me if you don’t want to, but I also thought it might be nice to put some flowers on her grave. With Christmas coming and all, I thought maybe some sort of greenery or maybe a wreath?”

She shrugged. “I guess that sounds okay. I can help you pick something out.”

“Fine,” I replied, not about to press my luck.

“How about we get some dinner first?”

“Okay. I need to call Mom and let her know we’re staying over.”

“Splendid.”

I knew what my father was trying to do by stalling our return for another day. He hoped that I’d show the maturity of a woman my age and do the right thing.

That being—letting my mother go.

I didn’t want to; the little girl inside of me wanted to kick and scream; to display a temper tantrum complete with stomping my black patent leather Mary Jane’s on the pavement and scream, “No!”

But I wasn’t that little girl anymore; in fact, I’d never acted that way even when I
was
a child. I didn’t throw fits, but I sure as hell wanted to now. So, I did the next best thing. I called Ryan and vented, telling him everything that I’d held back from him the other day, and brought him up to speed with today’s events.

It felt good to vent, but I knew it made Ryan miserable because he was in Quebec and there was absolutely nothing he could do to help. It wasn’t that I needed his help; venting had been enough, but for some reason males have this innate need to “fix” things for the ones that they love. All I needed was someone that I loved to listen, and he was that person.

I called Mom and let her know that we’d be returning the following afternoon.

“Is everything okay, Parrish?” she asked, the worry prominent in her voice.

“Everything’s fine, Mom. Dad wants to buy the plot next to hers, so he’s meeting with the office there tomorrow I guess.”

“I see,” she replied. “I guess it’s good that you’re getting to know your real father, isn’t it?”

“I guess it is. Love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, Parrish.”