Signing For Dummies (59 page)

Politics is a topic of conversation, the same as hearing people. Deaf people are also trying to make sense of political affairs as they, too, have family members who are in the military in these troubled times.

Deaf people also enjoy the company of significant others. Conversations about dates, marriage, disagreements, and making up are topics most people, Deaf or hearing, have in common. Problems and solutions in relationships cross all cultural and linguistic barriers.

Chapter 13: Deaf Etiquette

In This Chapter

Understanding Deaf norms

Practicing Deaf customs

Using Deaf words

Just like all other groups of people, the Deaf have reasons for certain norms. Bringing this to life and understanding social norms gives you a better understanding of Deaf etiquette and makes the language of the Deaf people become clear.

Deaf etiquette
refers to behaviors that are acceptable norms to the Deaf community. This chapter helps you understand the ways of the Deaf, their nuances, and their customs, as well as the reasons behind them. As you read through this chapter, you find out how to participate in the Deaf world, which allows you to appreciate the complex and silent world that lives around you.

Being Sensitive to Being Deaf

This part of Deaf etiquette is really for the hearing. Deaf people already know what it means to be Deaf, but those who can hear probably never think about the day-to-day struggles that the Deaf have to overcome in this world.

Getting close to a Deaf person requires a little vulnerability on both sides. Many Deaf people are just as insecure about not being understood as you are, but most of them are patient and incredibly skilled at getting their point across to you. Like all people, the Deaf come from all walks of life. Deaf men and women have the same careers that hearing people do — they’re doctors, lawyers, teachers, homemakers, construction workers, and so on.

Living together in a hearing world

Here are some tips and hints to keep in mind when interacting with Deaf people:

As your signing progresses, a Deaf person may ask if your parents are Deaf. This is a high compliment about your signing. It doesn’t mean that you’re fluent in ASL, but it does mean that your signing or facial expressions have characteristics of being influenced by someone who’s a native Signer.

When visiting Deaf people, don’t assume that you can just walk into the house since they can’t hear the doorbell. Deaf people have strobe lights connecting the doorbell to the phone. When either one rings, a light will flash. One light is inside by the door; the other is in a lamp by the phone.

If you’re out to a meal with a Deaf person, don’t feel obligated to order for them unless you’re asked, even if it’s just to practice your Sign. Deaf people have been eating in restaurants longer than you’ve been friends, and they’re accustomed to pointing to an item on the menu for the server.

As you learn more Signs, do your best to sign when you’re talking with your hearing friends and a Deaf person joins the conversation. It may be hard to sign what you’re saying, but you’ll be able to do it in time with practice. It’ll help the Deaf person feel included if he or she knows what you’re saying.

Getting the Deaf perspective

After reading this book, no doubt you see that knowing Sign is just one piece (albeit a large one) of the puzzle to understanding the Deaf community. To really get a grasp on Deaf etiquette and culture, you have to get involved with the Deaf community. One sure way to get involved is to take an introductory Sign Language course from a Deaf instructor. Although you can find some awesome Sign instructors who can hear, a Deaf Sign instructor can teach from the Deaf perspective and may very possibly be a native Signer.

An introductory class gives you exposure to Signs, interaction with others and, hopefully, an opportunity to learn from Deaf guest speakers. You also get an understanding of the many Signing styles that different people possess. An instructor can guide you as to where Deaf activities are taking place, who Deaf community leaders might be, and issues concerning your local community. Consider this class to be a passport to the Deaf community.

Participating in the Deaf Community

We can say a lot about this subject. A good rule to follow is, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” In other words, when you’re with Deaf people, respect their customs; what you don’t know, you can figure out by observation and through asking questions. Basically, just watch and learn. Some of the things you may notice include the following:

A sense of unity:
Depending on the size of the Deaf community, Deaf people will congregate at activities such as bowling leagues, Deaf clubs, Deaf plays, and fundraisers. In Los Angeles, California, the Deaf community is very large. Subgroups inside the community consist of Russians, Chinese, Italians, Hispanics, and Jews, not to mention many others. Each of these groups has its own respective traditions, customs, and celebrations. As a whole community, they come together for events such as the Lotus Festival, Deaf West Theater, and Deaf Awareness Month.