Aubrey.
Aubrey would know what was going on. I had to find her. Only problem was I couldn’t remember where she lived. There had been a sculpture of some kind. I scrunched up my eyes, willing the image to become clearer. A statue of an elephant. Near an Underground station. I stood up, rubbed the tears from my eyes, and started running.
The row of rundown buildings was the most welcome sight I’d ever seen. I jogged past the doors, trying to pick out which flat was Aubrey’s. I saw a graffiti-covered wall and could have hugged the little ASBO who’d told the world to “Fuck of”.
My finger hovered over the line of buzzers. The scribbled names had faded under the plastic shields, but one name jumped out at me. I pushed the buzzer marked Jones and waited. I didn’t even know if she would be home.
“Hello?” a voice crackled through the intercom.
Hearing her voice was like walking into a warm room. “Aubrey. Aubrey thank God! It’s me, Scott.”
“Who?” Aubrey said.
“Scott. Please let me in. I don’t know what the hell is going on.”
“I don’t know who you are. Push off will you?”
I knew I had just seconds to prove that she knew me. Seconds before she hung up the intercom and walked away. I felt like a man grabbing at a fraying rope. In an instant it would snap and I would fall into the abyss. I needed something to make her understand. Some kind of password.
From somewhere in the depths of my dissolving mind a word appeared.
“Swordfish!” I shouted into the grey box on the wall.
There was a pause. Then a buzz and clunk of the lock opening. I pushed at the door and walked in. The black rail of the stairwell was oddly solid, as if it was the first real thing I’d touched all day.
When I made it to the fifth floor, Aubrey was waiting in her open doorway, wearing a silk kimono that came to just above her knee. Even amid the fog of my tears I was struck by how pretty she was.
“Who are you?” she said as I reached the top step. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Did the SLF send you?”
SLF. The name resonated. “No. I’m Scott. We met last night.”
“We really didn’t.”
“We did,” I snapped. “We met at the Rec. And you told me something about me being special. And then I woke up this morning on a park bench and my whole life is falling apart. My sister is dead. My little sister.” I slammed the wall in frustration.
Aubrey flinched. Then tilted her head and considered me. “I told you, you were special?”
I nodded. “Yes, but I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything. I can only remember you.”
“Did I tell you…” she paused and looked down the stairway behind me. “Did I tell you that you were a Shifter?”
It was like an alarm going off in my head. The buzzing bells and flashing alarm of a pinball machine. “Shifter! Yes,” I said.
“You’d better come in. Sounds as if you’re having a reality attack.”
I followed her into the hallway. Nothing had changed since the last time I had been there. The tangle of fairy lights still twinkled in the living room. The same monster movie posters snarled down at me. After what I’d been through, it felt like a kind of sanctuary.
The only difference was in Aubrey. She was being distant, as if she really didn’t know who I was. She stood, her arms folded across her chest, considering me through narrow eyes.
“You stink,” she said finally. “Shower’s in there. But be quick. The longer you leave it, the more you’ll lose your grip on the old reality.”
I didn’t fully understand her. Parts of it made some vague sense. But the idea of a shower sounded like the best idea I’d ever heard.
Her bathroom was small and painted purple, with a surprisingly large roll-top bath in the centre of the room and a Psycho-style shower over the tub. I peeled off my clothes, turned on the large taps and stepped in. It took a while for the water to heat up and the icy rain made me yelp. After a minute, it was steaming. I rubbed at my face, my chest and aching ribs. I looked down at my body and almost slipped over in shock. I didn’t recognise myself. My skin was covered in greenish bruises, but that wasn’t what was making my head spin. It was what I saw under my skin that was so unfamiliar. Muscles. Real defined muscles, rippling down my stomach. The last time I’d checked I had a small, pale pot belly. I had been almost proud of it. But now, I had a six-pack.
“Hurry up!” Aubrey shouted from the other side of the door. “I’ve left some clothes in the hallway. They were here when I moved in, but I think they’ll fit.”
I quickly scrubbed myself with a bar of soap I found, switched off the taps, then pulled a white towel off a rail and wrapped it around my waist, before carefully opening the door an inch. I pressed an eye to the gap and peered out. I wasn’t happy with the idea of Aubrey seeing me half naked. Although, a new feeling flickered across my mind. Pride. Aubrey seeing this new, ripped body, wouldn’t be so awful. The idea passed quickly and I opened the door and gathered up the pile of clothes.
When I emerged, wearing a slightly too-tight T-shirt and cut off tracksuit bottoms, I was still steaming from the shower.
I found Aubrey in the living room. She pointed to a mug of coffee on a side table: the same mug she’d given me last night. As I wrapped my hands around it, I wanted to cry.
“So…” Aubrey said. “Tell me what happened.”
I tried as best as I could to explain. Even as the words came out I knew how insane I sounded. I only had fragments of memories and they were being pushed out of my head by images of a new life I didn’t recognise. The two memories were fighting to take hold of me and there was only one I was willing to accept. The one where I hadn’t killed my little sister.
“What was the last thing you remember before waking up on the common?” Aubrey asked.
“I was thinking about the choices I made in my life. The ones I’d regretted. And I was thinking about…” I stopped. The thoughts were just out of reach, like when you’re trying to remember someone’s name and it won’t come to you. You know it, but it’s hiding from you in a dark part of your brain. “I was thinking about something I wanted to do.” It came to me. “Kick boxing!” I shouted. “I was thinking about how I regretted giving up kick boxing.”
“So that’s when you made the Shift. You Shifted to a reality where you hadn’t given up kick boxing. And everything else rippled out from there.”
“So I know kick boxing?”
“I don’t know. Do you?”
I closed my eyes and thought about it. Yes, I did. In fact, I knew a lot about it. Memories, at least that’s what I thought they were, unlocked themselves. Me and Katie going to classes. Me getting my brown belt before her. I opened my eyes and tried to follow the threads. In one reality I’d quit. But in this new reality, I’d woken up in a world where I hadn’t. And that had somehow got Katie killed.
I remembered now. I’d been taking Katie to class one night. Dad was away on a work conference and Mum was at one of her book club things. Mum had told Katie and I to stay at home, but I had a competition coming up and really wanted to go. And Katie refused to stay at home alone. So we hopped on my moped and rode off into the rain.
“I have to undo it,” I said, my nails digging into my palms.
“You can’t,” Aubrey said gently. “You can’t undo a Shift.”
“But my sister. It can’t be…” I couldn’t speak any further.
I buried my head in my hands. I didn’t know what was happening to me and with every second I was losing more and more of the old life. The life with Katie. I couldn’t even remember how I’d met Aubrey. All I knew was that she was my anchor in the storm I’d found myself.
I felt her rest her arm on my shoulder. “We can try,” she said softly. “Find another way. Where were you, when you made the Shift?”
I looked at her, my eyes clouded by tears. “I was here,” I said, pointing at the sofa we were sitting on.
“Here?” Aubrey said. “Here?” She jumped off the sofa.
I nodded, even more confused.
“Then you have to get out. They’ll be here any minute.”
“But you said you’d help me,” I said, sounding annoyingly pathetic.
“I will. But I can’t help you if you’re locked up.” She dragged me to my feet and pushed me towards the door.
“Maybe I should be locked up. At least I couldn’t hurt anyone again.”
“Don’t be an idiot.”
We’d made it as far as the hallway. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”
She paused in her shoving and considered me for a second. “Just hide out. I’ll find you.”
But it was too late. Someone knocked at the door.
Isaw outlines of bodies through the foggy glass of the front door. Aubrey and I looked at each other. “Is there another way out?” I whispered.
She shook her head.
“Ms Jones,” a cold male voice shouted from the other side of the door. “This is ARES. Please open up.”
Aubrey looked from me to the door. Her shoulders sagged, like a little girl waiting for her punishment. I didn’t recognise her. Right then, I was really afraid of the men on the other side of that door. If they could do this to Aubrey Jones, who was the most confident girl I’d ever met, then what hope did I have?
“It’s OK,” I said, trying to reassure myself as much as her. They banged on the door again and she flinched. I hated seeing her like this. “I’m coming,” I shouted.
I squeezed Aubrey’s shoulder, pushed past her, and opened the door. I had a glimpse of a man in a grey uniform and behind him a line of men in black combat gear. Then a bag was thrown over my head, I was pulled through the door, and pushed to the floor.
They were shouting at me to get down, which seemed kind of redundant seeing as my face was already pressed into the cracked tiles. How much more down could I get? My hands were yanked behind my back and bound together with something metal. It cut into my wrists and vibrated gently; my skin prickled with what felt like an electric current.
“Don’t move. Don’t Shift,” the men were shouting. I just lay there, wishing they’d stop shouting. It was hurting my head.
“Who is this man?” I heard the cold voice ask.
“I don’t know,” Aubrey responded. “He forced his way into my apartment. I assumed he was a rogue and I was about to call you.” She sounded convincing enough. She even had a hint of disgust in her voice when referring to me as a rogue. I prayed they believed her. I’d pulled all this trouble down on her head and the best I could hope for is that they would take me away and leave Aubrey alone.
“We’ll take care of it from here, Ms Jones. One of the Regulators will be back later to take a statement.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever I can do to help.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. But the man didn’t seem to register it.
His voice softened slightly. “I’m just glad you’re OK.”
“You really didn’t need to come out, you know? I could have handled this myself, Dick.” I heard the man cough. “Sorry. Richard,” Aubrey said. The man coughed again. “Commandant Morgan,” Aubrey finished and for some reason I imagined her pulling off a mocking salute.
Whoever this guy was, I already hated him. Hated that Aubrey was having to kowtow to him. Or maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she was flirting with him. Just what I needed along with all the mad mix of emotions that were flooding through me right now: jealousy.
“We’ll be in touch soon,” the voice I now knew as Morgan said.
I heard the door close and I was alone with the men from ARES. They frogmarched me down the stairs and out onto the street.
In the light, I could make out hazy images through the weave of the cloth: men and women gathering outside their houses to watch me being dragged away, small children laughing and pointing and, across the street, the silhouette of a huge man resting on a small wall. Even through the hood I could sense his dark eyes trained on me. He raised a podgy hand and waved. It sent a shiver down my spine.
I heard the clunk of metal doors being opened beside me and I was thrown roughly forward, banging my head on something hard.
I didn’t even try to get to my feet. I just curled up into a ball on the cold metal floor. I heard footsteps of men getting in around me and the hum of an engine start up. As the vehicle pulled away I slid forward on the floor.
I tried to gather my thoughts. I was in a van, most likely, being taken to ARES HQ. As for what was going to happen to me once I got there, I didn’t know. I had ideas all right. Horrible, nausea-inducing ideas, fuelled from watching too many spy movies. I pulled my knees up closer to my chest and hoped the men in the van couldn’t hear my sobs.
After what felt like hours, but was probably only about thirty minutes, the van rumbled to a halt. The door clunked open and I was dragged forward and hefted to my feet. The heavy hand on my shoulder guided me up some steps and across a slippery, I guessed, marble floor and into a lift. He let go of me for a moment and I heard the beep of a button being pressed. After a moment, the drifting in my stomach told me we were moving up. A second beep and he pushed me forward. I had the sense I was walking down a narrow corridor, as I kept banging into the walls. The man leading me wasn’t doing a great job. Or maybe it was his exact intention that I was roughed up a bit before they started on me. Something electronic beeped and I heard a door opening. A final push forward and the bag was whipped off my head.
I scrunched up my eyes against the sudden light and directed my face away from the glaring overhead bulbs. The room came into focus. It was about ten feet by ten feet, white walls on three sides and a mirror on the fourth wall. A table stood in the middle, with a metal chair on either side. Unless I did have an overactive imagination, like Mum always said, it was an interrogation room.
“Take a seat,” said the cold voice from behind me.
I turned around to face the man I assumed was Morgan and was a little taken aback. He wasn’t much older than I was. Twenty maybe. With neat, brown hair and a ratty, pointed face. He wore a grey, uniform jacket, with five golden stripes on the arm and a metal badge that read ARES pinned to the collar.
“Take a seat,” he repeated, gesturing to one of the chairs.
I kicked it away from the table and sat down, which wasn’t easy with my hands still tied behind my back.