For some reason Jessica climbed the stairs quietly as if afraid to make any noise and alert Charles of her presence. In fact, when she got to the top she almost turned around and went right back down. But she managed to screw up her courage and she walked into the guest room. That’s where she found her husband of three hours. He was stark naked with an equally unclothed waitress and the two of them were going at it like dogs in heat. Jessica gasped and Charles turned around. He had the gall to actually smile at her and ask if she wanted to join them.
Jilly listened to the horrible story with her mouth wide open. “Oh, Jessica, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry.”
Jessica smiled wearily and said, “Me too. I turned to run out of the room, tripped on the hem of wedding dress and proceeded to fall down the stairs. Sounds worse than a Greek tragedy doesn’t it?”
“Oh no, what happened to the baby?”
“I had a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for two weeks, recovering from my injuries. I broke one leg, my collar bone, got sixty-four stitches, a concussion and I lost the baby.”
Jilly asked, “Why did you stay with the bastard?”
“Initially, out of embarrassment. Here I just had the wedding of my dreams and I didn’t want anyone to know what Charles had done to me. Plus, when I was released from the hospital, I needed him to take care of me.” She added, “He hired a staff to help while he was at work and when he came home he spent hours apologizing, explaining that he was drunk and that it didn’t mean anything. On and on he went until I wanted to believe him so much that I gave in and said I’d give the marriage a chance.”
Jilly asked, “And is everything okay now?”
“No, it’s not. In fact, Charles has had two more affairs that I know of and I strongly suspect we moved back here because of another one he has going on with a woman in Chicago.”
“Oh Jessica, I am so sorry, I don’t know what to say.”
“What can you say? I’ve totally done this to myself. I only agreed to move back to Chicago if Charles consented to live in Bentley. I figured the least he could do is reestablish me in my home before I tell him it’s over, once and for all.”
Jessica smiled sadly, “So that’s how my life turned out. What do you think they’ll make of that at the reunion?”
Jilly and Jessica continued to confide in one another and established a bond that never existed before. Jilly was glad for it because she realized that she’d like to be Jessica’s friend, the past be damned.
At 12:30 they left the salon and walked next door to Luigi’s. They decided to have a glass of wine and celebrate their new friendship while they waited for Lila. Wine in the afternoon was not a regular occurrence in Jilly’s life, what with three little ones to look after. Jessica confessed it had sadly become a pretty common event in her own life considering all the problems she and Charles had.
After consuming nearly a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio, Jilly and Jessica saw Lila come storming into the restaurant. With one look at her face, they knew that something horrible must have happened. Lila plopped down in the booth next to Jilly and without so much as a greeting, launched into the story of what she just witnessed at Creigh’s house.
For some reason unknown to Lila, Jilly was inclined to believe Creigh, that things weren’t as they seemed. Jessica on the other hand offered to pay for the hit. At that moment, Lila was convinced that no matter what had happened in the past she and Jessica were destined to become good friends. Anyone who was willing to have Creighton Ashwood murdered, no questions asked, was someone she wanted in her corner.
Somewhere in the midst of her story a shot of tequila arrived in front of Lila. She slammed it back and then joined her friends in their second bottle of wine. Luigi checked on the women several times to make sure they were okay. His concern lay in the fact they had ordered very little food and had just asked for more wine. So before he brought it, he made a quick phone call.
Before the girls could start their fourth bottle, they saw Bitsy tearing across the dining room straight at them like a terrier to a bone. She threw some bills on the table and in her best, “I’m the mother and can take care of anything fashion.” She herded everyone into her car.
On the drive home she managed to decode enough of the drunken ramblings to discover what happened. She also added greatly to the conversation with her new and improved vocabulary, “That goddamned, mother-fucking, bitch whore from hell! How dare she?”
The scene was so funny through Lila’s drunken eyes that she started to laugh uncontrollably. Jilly had acquired a horrible case of the hiccoughs and the look on Jessica’s face was one of total bemusement. Jessica had a higher alcohol tolerance than her two cohorts, so while they were three or four sheets to the wind, she was only happily buzzed.
When Bitsy pulled into the driveway, she hit the brakes with such force that Lila almost lost her liquid lunch. Yet with superhuman concentration she managed to keep it down. Jilly wasn’t so lucky. She hurled all over the back seat barely missing Jessica’s shoes.
Bitsy was so mad at Creigh that she didn’t seem to mind that her car had taken on a malodorous new aroma. She just declared, “Will can take care of it. Damn men!”
As soon as Jilly got out of the car, she made another deposit in the hydrangea bushes. The smell of fresh vomit was really starting to take its toll on Lila. Her mom sidled up next to her and suggested, “Honey, you better join the fun. I’m afraid if we don’t get some of that alcohol out of you, you’re going to be in for the hangover of your life.”
Indignantly, Lila replied, “Mom, I can’t just hurl at will.”
So Bitsy helped her out by suggesting, “I know, maybe we should go inside and get you a nice big glass of raw eggs.” That’s all it took for Lila to let loose on the snapdragons, not once but twice.
Bitsy ushered everyone into the kitchen and brewed a nice pot of peppermint tea to settle the girls’ stomachs, then she whipped up a big batch of grilled cheese sandwiches to soak up the leftover booze. As they were feasting, Will walked in and announced, “Nothing happened between Creigh and Melinda.”
Bitsy barked, “And how would you know?”
“Because Bits, the boy just left here and he was positively miserable. He said that Melinda sneaked up on him while he was sleeping. When he noticed her, he yelled at her and that’s when Lila saw them.”
With one hand on her hip and the other waving a spatula in her husband’s face, Bitsy declared, “William Randolph Montgomery that is the most unbelievable story that I’ve ever heard. It’s so bad they wouldn’t even put it in a Lifetime Movie!”
Lila’s dad interrupted, “But Bits, don’t you see, that’s why I believe him. It’s too ridiculous not to be the truth. Plus, you didn’t see him. He’s positively livid with Melinda.” Will walked over to Lila and put his arm around her and added, “He really wants to explain it all to you in person, honey.”
Jessica, who had not yet met Lila’s dad replied, “What a load of horseshit. Of course he wants to convince her. That way he can have his cake and eat it too.”
Will demanded, “Who in the world are you?” Lila performed a quick introduction and her dad added, “Little Jessica Bowmen of the Looney Lila and Silly Jilly fame?”
Jessica stood her ground and answered, “Yes sir, that would be me. But just because I was a rotten little girl doesn’t mean that I don’t know a load of crap when it’s dumped on me, or in this case, Lila.”
“Young lady, it’s obvious that you have never met Creighton Ashwood, because if you had, you would never insinuate such a thing.”
Lila’s mom jumped in, still wielding her spatula and asked, “How can you defend that boy? If it quacks like a duck and tastes like a duck, it goddamned well is a duck. And if you have nothing more to add in further defense for the enemy, you better get the hell out of here before I take a frying pan to your head.”
Will immediately took in the seriousness of his wife’s tone. In their near forty years of marriage, she had never threatened to beat him over the head with cookware. He walked over to her, kissed her on the cheek and said, “Honey, I love you. You go right ahead and protect your young, but you’re wrong on this account.” Before she had a chance to collect her frying pan, he was out of there.
The girls stayed until they were sufficiently recovered from the afternoon’s alcohol binge, which was until seven o’clock. Once they left, Lila went up to her room and thought more about
She Sins at Midnight
. It was eerie how the life she wrote for Vivian was coming true for her too. It was almost like she had predicted her own relationship with Creigh.
Vivian stood by one of the many sets of French doors that led from the ballroom to the balcony, feeling numb with disappointment. Why did Julius dance with her as though she were his other half, one minute and then trail down the stairs after that trollop, the Countess of Trent the next? She was no fool. No matter that she wasn’t supposed to be aware of these things, when a man and woman strode purposefully toward the gardens during a party, she knew they were going to take part in a romantic assignation. As the Countess was known to tryst with just about any man who suggested it, Vivian was left with no doubt what was about to happen.
Feeling a sudden throbbing behind her eyes, she decided that she just wanted to go home. Vivian’s mother, the Duchess, was vastly concerned by her daughter’s sudden illness and immediately called for their carriage to take them back to their townhouse.
What Vivian didn’t notice as she took her leave was Julius walking back into the ballroom, alone, searching the assembly for the young woman who felt so right in his embrace.
L
ila dreamt that she was trapped in the marsh wearing a ball gown. She was on her knees trying to drag herself out, but no matter how much ground she covered, she never reached the bank. Then the hands came. Dozens of them reaching for her, grabbing at her arms and legs, trying to pull her down. As she was about to give in and let them drag her under the surface, she saw Melinda striding down the road stark naked in a majorette’s hat, twirling a baton. She was leading a marching band that was playing a very familiar tune. Just as Lila was about to start singing along with the music, she woke up and realized that her cell phone was ringing.
Blindly, she reached for the nightstand and answered, “Hello?”
Cynthia demanded, “Lila, what in the heck is going on in that crazy town of yours?”
Groggily Lila answered, “Hey Cyn, what are you talking about? What time is it?”
Her friend answered, “Its nine o’clock in the morning your time and what I’m talking about is ‘The Countrywide Inquisitor.’ You made this morning’s cover.”
Cyn’s words slowly seeped into Lila’s foggy brain and she bolted upright, “What?! How could I be on the cover of that rag?” Even as she asked, the pieces of the puzzle started to drop into place; Creigh’s pool, a naked Melinda at her feet. Whispering her next words, she inquired, “Am I on the cover alone?”
“No you’re not. And may I say, I didn’t realize you and Melinda had become so chummy.”
Lila gasped, “Oh God, Cyn. Let me call you back.”
Reluctantly, Lila left the security of her bed and went down to the kitchen to break the news to her parents. She found them drinking coffee and reading a fresh copy of “The Countrywide Inquisitor.”
Bitsy saw her daughter and immediately tried to hide the paper under the table. Lila announced, “Don’t worry Mom, I already know. But how did you find out?”
Bitsy grimaced and answered, “Viola Bergman, from the garden club, was doing her grocery shopping at seven this morning. She dropped a copy off for us on her way home.”
Lila reached her hand out and Bitsy handed over the tabloid. Lila couldn’t quite assimilate what she was seeing. The entire front page was dedicated to her standing over a naked ball of Melinda, who through the miracles of photography, actually appeared to be groveling at her feet. Lila looked like a demonic warrior princess as she towered over the hussy. Creigh was bent over behind Melinda, massaging his freshly kicked leg. But he too, appeared to be in a worshipful pose. The caption read:
Loyal Subjects Pay Homage to Queen Lila
Lila was too mortified to speak. Her dad interrupted her trance, “You better open it up, honey. It doesn’t get any better.”
Lila couldn’t imagine it getting any worse, but of course it did. The two inside pages were a time lapsed photographic essay of what occurred at Creigh’s pool the day before. The first photo was Melinda walking nude across the lawn toward Creigh, the second was of her lying down on a chaise next to him, the third, of her rubbing her magnificent rack across his back, the fourth was of Creigh running across the lawn at Lila, the fifth was the cover and finally the sixth was of Melinda leaping at the photographer. In the last picture she looked like some woodland nymph captured in mid-flight. Unfortunately, even though most of the obvious parts of her anatomy were blurred out, there was no denying the fact that she was entirely al fresco. Lila read on:
The latest adventures in the life of Melinda Forrester have taken quite a turn. The actress was caught mid-peccadillo in the arms of her most recent conquest, her lawyer, Creighton Ashwood. Let’s see, that makes the janitor, the agent, the movie mogul and now the lawyer. This little missy either has a very short attention span or she’s just a tramp. Of course that’s just one reporter’s opinion. The photos herein were taken at the estate of her legal counsel in Bentley Hills, Illinois, of all places. (Who knew there were such goings on in the Land of Lincoln?) The Amazon goddess on the cover used to be the assistant to Josh Furber, a.k.a. Lila Montgomery, the very same Lila Montgomery who has been relieved of her assisting duties because of Melinda’s claim that she was defaming the actress’s character. Alas, I must restate, who needs to spread rumors when Melinda is so busy spreading herself? When asked for a comment, movie mogul Oscar Solomon stated adamantly that the pictures must have been doctored as “Melinda would never cheat on me. We are passionately in love.” Mr. Solomon, not to bring up a touchy subject, but women always cheat on you. I, of course, cite the first and second Mrs. Solomons and the trainer and pool boy, respectively. Please, dear readers, stay tuned. I imagine that the loves and conquests of Melinda Forrester are going to get even more interesting.