Shattered (9 page)

“No, Mom, just stop. You have to leave. I’ll be fine if you are with me. I don’t want him to hurt you anymore. Stop trying to save us and save yourself, Mom, please.”

There is anger in her voice now. The apartment door opens and Tyler stands there looking at me. Into the phone, I say quietly,

“Gen, baby, everything will be ok. Stay close to the boys and your uncle as well as Liam. I’ll be fine, baby. Don’t call this number anymore, ok? I love you. Never forget that. Tell your brothers that you guys were the best things that ever happened to me. I love you guys with all my heart. Stay away from me, baby. It will keep you safer if you do. Don’t forget that I love you, baby.”

When I hang up the phone, I have to take a minute. My chest hurts bad. I know she is in pain but if I go to her, Tyler will hurt her more. This is killing me. I have said goodbye to my kids, now, it’s time to say goodbye to life. I can’t deal anymore.

I wipe the tears from my face and turn to face Tyler. He is closer to me now; as in right behind me. My face goes hard when I meet his eyes. Fuck him. I won’t give him my fear anymore.

“Was that one of your boyfriends? Are they ready to charge in and save the day?”

“No, asshole, it wasn’t one of my boyfriends. It was Genesis. I was saying goodbye.”

I push past him but he grabs my arm stopping me in my tracks.

“Who do you think you are talking to? Where is the fucking respect? You know what, don’t answer that. What kinda respect do you get from a whore? I should have listened to everyone when they told me you were a whore. I’m surprised you haven’t given me something.”

I’m sick of this shit. So I do something I have never done: I go head to head with Tyler.

“Me give you something?” I jerk my arm from his hold and finish signing my death certificate.

“You dumb fuck, you call me a whore. I have been faithful to your stupid ass the whole time we have been together. Never, not once, I have I stepped out on you. I sat back and watched you bring whores in my house and take them to my bed while I slept on the sofa. I have been here to hear the moans and screams of all the simple bitches you bring in here.  And you call me a whore. You call me worthless. You say I’m not shit. Have you looked in a fucking mirror?”

At this point I’m shaking, and I’m crying but I can’t stop. The words just pour out. Years and years of build up all at once.

“I have taken your beatings, I have had sex with you. I have dealt with the rapes and the names, I allowed my kids to leave to keep them safe from you. All these years, Tyler, you don’t fucking love me. Why not just let me go? Stop threating my kids, let me be free, Tyler. We lost our love a long time ago. Why can’t you just let me the fuck go? I’ll stay out of your life and you stay out of mine.”

Before I know it, Tyler has me against the wall. I knew it was coming. I’m really surprised it took as long as it did.

“Do you really want to know why I keep you? Why don’t I let you go? Fine, I’ll tell you. I don’t want you to be happy. You ruined my fucking life, Rain. I had a whole life ahead of me, and you got pregnant. I could be rich. They wanted me to play pro ball.”

When he says that, he slams me against the wall again, making me lose my breath.

“If I let you go, you run right to the man you have loved your whole life. You get your happily ever fucking after. But me, my life ended the day I stuck my dick in you. You will never be free of me. I’ll do whatever the hell I want and you will be a good little bitch and do as I say.”

“The hell I will, Tyler. I’m tired. I’m tired of it all. Two choices Tyler, you kill me now or you let me the fuck go.”

We stare at each other like we are having a war and we will see who will strike first. Turns out he does. I don’t even see his fist coming. His fist slams into the side of my face, my eyes water, and I taste blood but I face him again.

“Isn’t this sweet? You think you can take me on? Well let’s see what you got.”

Tyler backs up and lets me get off the wall. I’m not crazy enough to think I can take him but if I can stay away from his fist long enough to make it to the door, I can get away.  He pushes my shoulder.

“Come on, big bad Rainy. Let’s see your balls.”

So much for getting away. I just start swinging. My fists connect to his face but I doubt they do any damage. Tyler grabs me around the waist and throws me to the floor. My breath is knocked out of me again. He straddles me but I keep fighting. I don’t know why I’m fighting when I know that I will lose.

“Fight me, Rain. You know I love it when you fight me.”

He rubs his dick against my leg.

“You feel how much you fighting gets me going. FIGHT ME, YOU STUPID BITCH!!!”

Tyler pulls his work knife from his pocket and cuts my shirt open.

“NO, Tyler, don’t. I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me. I try to push his arms to get him away from me. My arm his the blade. I know it’s sharp. He makes sure of that every day.”

“You’re right, Rain. I don’t love you. I never have. I always knew that Liam wanted you. That’s why I went after you to begin with.”

I don’t know why but when he says that all the fight leaves me. Back when we first talking, Tyler told me that Liam wasn’t into me. He said he could see the love I had for Liam and he wanted to help me with that because HE was the one that loved me. He said Liam would never love me the way he did. In a way, he was right.

Tyler runs the knife from my collar bone to my belly button. He says, “I want everyone to know what a dirty, life-ruining whore you really are. But first I want you to feel the pain you have caused me.”

He punches me in the face again. Then in my ribs. After about the fourth hit, I feel his cock. He doesn’t push in easy, he just slams his cock in me. I almost wish that he would just beat me. When he fucks me is the worst. Not just the pain, but knowing that I have him inside me, makes me want to die right then.  Whenever things get this bad, the only thing that helps black out the pain is what I call my prayer. I know it’s everyone’s prayer, but I just say it over and over until I black out or can’t feel the pain anymore.

         Our Father, who art in heaven,

          Hallowed be thy name.

        Thy kingdom come,

        Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses,

Tyler punches me in the ribs again. I feel him moving inside me but I have lost all my fight. I keep on with my prayer.

As we forgive those who trespass

    Against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom

The power and the glory

Forever and ever

Amen.

Tyler finishes inside me. His grunts and moans make me sick. I’m on the edge of blacking out. Tyler pulls out of me and says, “Now for the real lesson, bitch. You are lucky to have someone like me inside you. Before the day is over, you will be filled.”  He does this one two punch on my face like you would see in the movies and it makes me see stars.  Before I lose all sense of the world, I feel the worst pain in my stomach but the pain is too much and I black out.

                       ***

I wake in darkness. I’m laying on the kitchen floor. My shirt is gone and I’m wet. Maybe he pissed on me again or, shit, maybe I pissed on myself. That has happened before. I pull myself up using the counter and pains just shot all through my body. I put my hand on my stomach and it burns. What the hell did he do to me? I walk out of the kitchen to go to the bathroom. I have to go through the living room. I see Tyler on the sofa and some girl is sucking his dick. The three friends he called are there as well. When Tyler sees me he says,

“Go get cleaned up, you have people waiting for you.”

Tyler says this while some girl is deep throating him. And he calls me the whore. I can’t really think about that right now. I feel too much pain. Tyler really did a number on me. I don’t know if I will live through the night with all the pain plus what his worthless friends have planned to do to me tonight.

I walk to the bathroom and start cleaning myself up. I don’t take my clothes off. I clean my face and arms and my legs. I don’t want to take my clothes off until I’m ready to change, in case one of his friends decide they want to start the party early.

It isn’t one of the guys that end up at the bathroom door, though. Instead it’s one of the chicks that was sitting with Tyler. This is the girl that was sucking his dick. She walks in the bathroom and pushes me out of the way, so that she can stand in front of the mirror. This bitch grabs my toothbrush and starts to brush her teeth. That’s not really what bothers me. What bothers me is what she says when she is done.

She places my toothbrush back in the holder but doesn’t turn from the mirror. I meet her eyes and that is when she decides to start running her cock sucker. Like she was waiting for me to look at her.

“You know you could just leave right? It’s not like Tyler wants you. Shit, it’s not like he loves you. I have my man covered. You can leave now.”

If only this bitch knew. Fucking bleach blonde big-titty cock sucking whore should really get a clue. So I give her one.

“Honey, if you want him, please have him. I have been trying to leave for years. Why don’t you go out there and ask ‘your man’ why he won’t let me go. You think you want him.” I try and do Tyler’s smirk. I don’t think I do it as good as he does. “You think you want him, but honey, I have seen too many of your kind coming and going. You think you are special because he let you swallow his fucking babies. Let me tell you something, baby girl. I have swallowed many of his babies. Shit, I even had five of them, and I still ain’t fucking special. You swallow his load and think he is going to fall at his feet and love you for forever and always? Stop being stupid. Tyler Childs will fall at no one’s feet. It will be the other way around. When he is done with you, you will be just like me. Broken and alone. The beautiful happy girl you were before, will be gone, never to be seen again.”

I can’t help but laugh. This chick thinks he loves her or some shit.

“How long have you known Tyler?” I ask her. “A few days, maybe a week? I have known that man almost my whole life. You are a fucking play thing. If you want him, have at him, baby girl. It may save me from some hospital visits, but if you knew what was good for you, you would put your fucking clothes on and get as far away from Tyler Childs as you can as fast as you can.” 

I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I can’t stop. I keep ranting at her. When we first started talking, she had a look on her face telling she was better than me. Now her mouth has gone slack and she is looking at me like I’m crazy. Shit maybe I am but fuck it. She wants him, I’m going to let her know what it is she is really asking for.

“Did he tell you I just got out of the hospital? He put me there. And if you stay with him thinking he loves you, you will end up just like me. How do you feel about being a sister wife, huh? Please stay if you want, I would love to share the beatings.

Now if you are done I need to finish getting cleaned up. My loving husband has asked his friends over to fuck me like a good little whore, while he sits on the sofa with two random chicks and they take turns seeing who can get him off the fastest.”

I push her out of my way and remove my shirt. I don’t really care that she is watching. I’ll be completely naked in front of her very soon, maybe the blood and bruises will make her see that it’s not the game she wants to fucking play.

I hear her gasp, I look at her face in the mirror but she isn’t looking at me, she is looking at my stomach. I look down. My stomach is covered in blood. It looks like he carved something on it. I get the rag and start cleaning. The pain is horrible. It almost feels like my heart is in my stomach. It’s pounding.  Once I get it cleaned I see the words, “dirty whore.” It’s deep and the bleeding hasn’t stopped. It’s going to scar. I will have the words “dirty whore” on my stomach for what’s left of my life.

I look back in the mirror and the bleach blonde is still standing there.  “Are you sure this is what you want your life to become?” I ask her.

She shakes her head. She has her hand over her mouth. It looks like she has tears in her eyes.

Holding her stare in the mirror I say, “Don’t cry for me. Don’t cry, run.”

I turn away from her and start the shower. I’d close the door but Tyler took it off the hinges. He said he wasn’t going to give me a place to hide.

I step into the shower and it’s like my whole body is on fire. Everywhere the water hits on my body pain sends piercing pains all through my body. I don’t think there was a place he didn’t beat on this last time. I haven’t even been out of the hospital a whole day yet and already I feel like I have been home for days while Tyler beats on me. I still have to deal with what’s about to go on in the living room.

Speaking of which, I need to hurry. I don’t want Tyler to come in here because I’m taking too long. I also don’t want him to send one of his loser friends to do it. I take a minute to try and figure out if there is a way I can get out of this. But so far I don’t see a way out. This is the life I have chosen to live.