Shardik (74 page)

It was well over an hour before the meal had been cooked and eaten. Ankray and
Kelderek
, after going out of
the
gate to look round the house, test the barred shutters from outside and make sure all was quiet, returned to find that Melathys had taken two lamps from the kitchen to add to that already in the Tuginda’s room. The Tuginda welcomed Ankray and thanked him, praising hi
s strength and courage and questi
oning him so warmly and sincerely
that
he soon found himself giving her an account of the day’s adventures with as
little
constraint as he might have related it to
the
Baron. She told him to fetch
a
stool and sit down, and he did so without embarrassment.

‘Do they still remember the Baron kindly in Lak?’ asked
Melathys
.

‘Oh yes, saiyett,’ answered
the man. ‘There was two or thre
e of
them
asked me whether I thought it would be safe if they was to come here, to pay their respects, like, at the grave. I said I’d fix
a
day to meet
them
, to make sure of
them
finding the right spot They’ve got a great opinion of
the
Baron, have
the
folk in Lak.’

‘Did you get any chance to tell them about what’s happened, or to find out whether
we
may be able to go there ?’

‘Well,
that
‘s just it, saiyett: I can’t say as I was able to get far there. You sec, I couldn’t talk to the chief or any of the ci
ders. It seems they’re all greatl
y taken up with this business of the bear. They were holding some sort of meeting about it, and ‘twas
still
going on when I had to start back.’

‘The bear?’ asked
Kelderek
sharply. ‘What bear? What do you mean?’

‘There’s no one knows what to make of it, sir,’ replied Ankray. ‘They say it’s witchcraft There’s not a man of them but he’s frightened, for never
a
bear’s been known before in those parts and by all I can make out this one’s no natural creature.’

‘What did
they
tell you?’ asked Melathys, white to the lips.

‘Well, saiyett, seems ‘twas about ten days ago now that the
cattle
began to be attacked in the night - pens broken and beasts killed. A man was found one morning with hi
s head beaten in and another time
a tree-trunk that three men couldn’t have moved had been lifted out of a gap it had been set to block. They found tracks of some big animal, but no one knew what they were and everyone was afraid to search. Then about three days ago some of the men were out fishing, upstream and just a
little
way off shore, when the bear came down to drink. ‘Seems it was that big they couldn’t believe their eyes. Thin and sick it looked, they said, but very savage and

dangerous. It stared at them from the bank and they went off quick. The men I talked to were all sure it’s a devil, but myself, I wouldn’t fear it, because I reckon it stands to reason who it is.’ Ankray paused. None of his listeners spoke and he went on, ‘It was a bear hurt
the
Baron when he was a young fellow; and when we left Ortelga after the fighting - that was all to do with sorcery and a bear, or so I’ve always understood. The Baron’s often said to me, “Ankray,” he’d say, “I’d have done better if I’d a been a bear, that I would. That’s the way to make a kingdom out of nothing, believe me.” Of course, I reckoned he was joking but now - well,
saiyett
, if any man was to come back as a bear, that man would be the Baron, don’t you reckon? Them that saw it said ‘twas terrible scarred and wounded, disfigured-like, round the neck and shoulders, and I reckon that proves it. There’s no one in Lak ventures far now and all
the
cattle
are
penned together and fires kept burning at night. There’s none of them dares go out and hunt
the
bear. There’s even some kind of strange rumour that it’s come alive out of hell.’

The Tuginda spoke. ‘Thank you, Ankray. You did very well and
we
quite understand why you couldn’t talk to the chief. You’ve earned a good night’s sleep. Don’t do any more work tonight, will you?’

‘Very good,
saiyett
. No trouble, I’m sure. Good night,
saiyett
. Good night, sir.’

He went out, taking the lamp which Melathys sil
ently
handed to him. As his footsteps receded
Kelderek
sat motionless, staring down at the floor like a man who, in an inn or shop, hopes by averting his face to avoid recognition by some creditor or enemy who has unexpectedly entered. In the room beyond, a log fell in the fire and faintly through the shutters came the dist
ant, rattl
ing sound of the night-croaking frogs. Still he sat, and still none spoke. As
Melathys
moved across the room and sat down on the bench beside the bed,
Kelderek
realized that his posture had become unnatural and constrained, like that of a dog which, for fear of a rival, holds itself rigid agai
nst the wall. Still looking dire
ctly
at neither of the women he stood up, took the second lamp from the shelf at his elbow and went to the door.

‘I - I’ll come back - something - a little while -‘

His hand was on the latch and for an instant, in an unintended glance, he saw the Tuginda’s face against the shadowy wall. Her eyes met his and he looked away. He went out, crossed the room beyond and stood for a
little
beside the fire, watching as its caves and cliffs and ledges consumed away, crumbled and gave place to others. Now and then the sound of the women’s voices, speaking seldom and low, reached his cars and at length, wishing to be still more alone, he went to the room where he slept and once there, put down the lamp and stood still as an ox in a field.

What hold, what power over him did Shardik retain? Was it indeed of his own will or of Shardik’s that he had slept beside him in the forest, plunged headlong into the Telthearna deeps and at last wandered from Bekla and his kingdom, through none would ever know what terror and humiliation, to
Zeray
? He had
thought
Shardik dead; or if not already dead, then dying far away. But he was not dead, not far away; and news of him had now reached -was it by his will that it had reached? - the man whom God had chosen from the first to be broken to fragments, just as
the
Tuginda had foretold. He had heard tell of priests in other lands who were the prisoners of their gods and people, remaining secluded in their temples or palaces until
the
day of
their ritual, sacrificial death
. He, though a priest, had known no such imprisonment. Yet had he been deluded in supposing himself free to renounce Shardik, to fly for his life, to seek to live for the sake of the woman whom he loved? Was he in truth like a fish trapped in a shrinking, land-locked pool in time of drought, free to swim wherever he could, yet fated, do what he might, to lie gasping at last on the mud? Like Bel-ka-Trazet, he had supposed that he had done with Shardik but Shardik, or so he now suspected, had not done with him.

He started at the sound of a step and the next moment
Melathys
came into the dim room. Without a word he took her in his arms and kissed her again and again - her lips, her hair, her eyelids - as though to hide among kisses, as a hunted creature among the green leaves. She clung to him, saying nothing, responding by her very choic
e of acquiescence, like one bath
ing in a pool who chooses for her own d
elight to remain standing breathle
ssly under the cascade that fills it. At length he grew calmer and, g
ently
caressing her face between his hands, felt on his fingers the tears which the lamplight had not revealed.

‘My love,’ he whispered, ‘my prin
cess, my bright jewel, don’t weep!
I’ll take you away from
Zeray
. Whatever may happen, I’ll never, never leave you. We’ll go away and reach some safe place together. Only believe me!’ He smiled down at her. ‘I have nothing in the world, and I’ll sacrifice all for your sake.’

‘Kelderek.’ She kissed him in her turn, g
ently
, three or four times, and then laid her head on his shoulder. ‘My darling. My heart is yours until
the
sun burns out. Oh, can there ever have been so sorry a place and so wretched an hour for declaring love?’

‘How else?’ he answered. ‘How else could two such as we discover ourselves to be lovers, except by meeting at the end of the world, where all pri
de is lost and all rank and stati
on overthrown?’

‘I will school myself to have hope,’ she said. ‘I will pray for you every day that you are gone. Only send me news as soon as you can.’

‘Gone?’ he replied. ‘Where?’

‘Why, to Lak: to Lord Shardik. Where else?’

‘My dear,’ he said, ‘set your mind at rest. I promised I would never leave you. I’m done
with
Shardik.’

At this she stood back and, spreading her two arms wide behind her,
palms flat against the wall on e
ither side, looked up at
him
incredulously.

‘But - but you heard what Ankray said - we all heard him! Lord Shardik is in the forest near Lak - wounded - perhaps dying! Don’t you believe it is Lord Shardik?’

‘Once - ay, and not long ago -
1
meant to seek death from Shardik in atonement for the wrong I had done both to him and to the Tuginda. Now I mean to live for your sake, if you’ll have me.
Listen, my darling. Shardik’s d
ay is done for ever, and for all I know
Bekla
‘s and
Ortelga
‘s day as well. These things ought not to concern us now. Our task is to preserve our lives - the lives of this household - until we can get to Lak, and
then
to help the Tuginda to return safely to Quiso. After
that
we
shall be free, you and I.
I’ll take you awa
y -we’ll go to Deelguy or Tereke
nalt - further, if you like - anywhere where we can live a quiet, humble life, live like the plain folk we were meant to be. Perhaps Ankray will come with us. If only we’re resolute, we’ll have the chance to be happy at last, away from such loads as men’s spirits were never meant to bear and such mysteries as
they
were never meant to pry into.’

She only shook her head slowly as
the
tears fell and fell from her eyes.

‘No,’ she whispered. ‘No. You must set out for Lak at dawn tomorrow and I must stay here with the Tuginda.’ ‘But what am I to do?’

‘That will be shown you. But above all you must keep a humble, receptive heart and the readiness to listen and obey.’

‘It’s
nothing
but superstition and folly I’ he burst out. ‘How can I, of all people, still remain a servant of Shardik - I, that hav
e abused and harmed him more th
an any man-more even than Ta-Kominion? Only think of the peril to yourself and the Tuginda in remaining here
with
none but Ankray I The place is alive with danger now. At any moment it may become as though fifty Glabrons had risen from the grave -‘

At this she cried out and sank to the floor, sobbing bitterly and covering her face with her arms
as
though to ward off his unbearable words. Sorry, he knelt beside her, stroking her shoulders, speaking reassuringly as though to
a
child and trying to lift her up. At length she rose, nodding her head with
a
kind of weary hopelessness,
as
though
in acceptance of what he had said of Glabron.

‘I know,’ she said. ‘I’m sick with fear at the
thought
of
Zeray
. I could never survive that again - not now. But
still
you must go.’ Suddenly she seemed to take heart, as though by
a
forced act of her own will.
⁴
You won’t be alone for long. The Tuginda will recover and then we’ll come to Lak and find you. I believe it! I believe it! Oh, my darling, how I long for it - how I shall pray for you! God
‘s
will be done.’

⁴
Me
lathys, I tell you I’m not going. I love you. I won’t leave you in this place.’