Authors: J.K. Hudson
“It’s not like that Preston. There’s so much more to him, to us, than that.”
Preston raised an eyebrow in question, “Is it really? What makes you so sure that this isn’t going to end in a spectacular failure?”
Brenae felt like the wind had been knocked right out of her. What guarantee did she have that this would be more than just a fling? Could it really ruin their careers?
“It looks like you have a lot to think about Brenae. Female news anchors have to have an approachability to them; something you can’t have in a committed relationship. Once you’re married and have children, that dynamic changes. But until then, the girls in the studio need to remain attainable to keep the male viewers. You need to decide if this cowboy, this man you met a week ago, is really worth losing everything you’ve worked for.”
Brenae stood and nodded slowly, struggling to make sense of her jumbled thoughts. Roy was amazing, vibrant, sexy, and more than she’d ever dreamed of. But was one man worth losing everything over? She walked down the hall, eager to put as much distance between herself and her hate-filled inbox as possible. She had to think. There had to be a way out of this.
***
Brenae sat at the table in the Jalisco Café, her mouth dry and her nerves shot. Her food sat in front of her, untouched. Roy watched her from across the festive table, his concern evident. Never one to mince words, he decided to ask her outright.
“What’s wrong with you today? Rough day at work?”
“You could say that. A lot has happened since we last saw each other.”
Roy chuckled softly, “How much could’ve happened since we last saw each other yesterday morning?”
The look on her face cut him short. Something was wrong, he could see it written all over her sweet face. He reached out to grab her hand on the table, and she pulled away. Now he was really confused. Had he hurt her? Had he said or done something stupid? It wouldn’t be the first time; he often had to remove his foot from his mouth with the ladies. But Brenae had felt different, she’d made
him
feel different. He couldn’t pinpoint what had changed her attitude towards him, but he would lay money that it was nothing he’d done.
Brenae took a deep breath, staring at her hands as she spoke. She recounted her conversation with Preston, and summarized a few of the emails. Roy cussed under his breath, his face turning red with rage as he thought about her reading those words on her computer screen.
“Preston had no right to let that nonsense through. He should be ashamed of himself. Being in the limelight brings out the crazies, but there’s no reason you should’ve seen that stuff.”
Brenae held up her hand. She’d made her choice and it was already hard enough. He was delaying the inevitable, and Brenae wanted this to be as painless as possible.
“Roy, we can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?” he drawled out, anger pitching his voice low as her words hit him hard.
“Roy, we both have careers and dreams. Those dreams aren’t meant to coexist. I couldn’t ask you to give up bull riding for my career, and I couldn’t give up my dream of making news anchor for anything. Even love.”
Roy blinked. Had she just declared her love and broken up with him in the same breath?
“No one needs to give up anything. If we love each other we can–”
She cut him off, “I’ve made up my mind. You have your dreams and I have mine. They don’t work together, and neither do we. I’m sorry, Roy.”
Without another word, Brenae fled the café. She got into her car and left, Roy bursting through the door as she rounded the corner. She drove aimlessly for a long while, fighting back the tears. She pulled into a parking lot and cut the engine. Deep sobs wracked her body as she was overwhelmed by the pain.
I’m doing the right thing. He deserves a woman who can be exactly who he needs her to be. Not a woman who’s afraid of horses and manure.”
She gulped desperately for air, trying to calm herself so she could drive the rest of the way home. Whether or not it was the right decision, her heart was broken in two, and so was his. She would never forget the look on his face, or that moment when she’d said the words that had crushed her soul.
*****
The cellphone on her desk buzzed, the caller ID showing Roy’s number for the umpteenth time. Brenae let it go to voicemail. Her heart was broken, but ending her relationship with Roy was the right thing to do, she just knew it. They were two very different people, on different paths in their lives. They would only hold each other back, and that wasn’t good for either of them. Roy had begged and pleaded with Brenae, his words cutting her to her very soul. He said that love could conquer anything. But she wouldn’t give up her dreams to follow him around the country while he competed, and she couldn’t ask him to give up his dreams so that she could follow hers. The only kind thing, the only logical thing, was for them to go their separate ways.
Brenae threw herself into her work, looking for anything to keep her mind off Roy. She scrolled through her emails, answering a few here and there, but otherwise completely lost in thought. She’d had her heart broken before. She had recovered then, and she would recover from this, too. She wasn’t so sure about Roy, though. The look on his face had been pure and soul-shattering devastation. He loved her, really loved her. And she’d rejected him to save her career.
A single tear escaped her eye as she sat there trying so hard to convince herself that she’d done the right thing; it was the right thing for both of them, it had to be.
Then why does it feel so wrong?
Why should society get to dictate who she loved? In what alternate universe did her boss claim the right to tell her that she must stay single if she wanted the position as news anchor? “The men need to be married because it makes them seem more dependable,” he’d said, “and the girls need to be single because it makes them more approachable.”
Brenae felt utterly disgusted every time she thought about that conversation. “Girls”, as if the men were men, but the women were mere children playing in a man’s world. She slammed her fist down on the desk. Who was Preston to tell her anything? She was a grown
woman
; a woman who paid her own bills and made her own way in this world.
Why did I let that ignorant fool convince me that I needed to be alone to be successful? What a load of crap!
She stood up and gathered her things, headed for her car and her man. Preston could take a long walk off a short pier for all she cared, she would have her man
and
her career. She walked briskly down the hall, her mind made up. Preston stepped out of his office and stood in the hall. He opened his mouth to speak, but Brenae cut him off before he could say a word.
“Preston, I’m going to the Nationals to support
my
man. I’m not your possession, I’m an employee and a colleague. I will date who I want, when I want, and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem.” She didn’t shorten her stride to give him a chance to move, just continued on without faltering. Preston was either going to move or get run over.
He’d better get used to it, because he’s not going to tell me how to run my life ever again.
*****
Roy sat on the rails, watching the other bull riders as they fell, one by one. The nationals were no joke and Roy was one of only five bull riders to secure a spot in the final round. Men from all over the country had come, chasing their childhood dreams. Most failed, but some, like Roy, would not.
He glanced at the list on the wall, mentally ticking off the ones that had already gone. Just five more rides and he could get on that final bull. He was ahead in points, and as long as he stuck to his bull for eight seconds, he couldn’t get below third place overall, both for this single event and for the year-long event.
Guaranteed at least a quarter of a mil, then I can find myself an island somewhere and forget about Brenae.
Roy shook his head. He couldn’t risk thinking about her right now. He had to focus. He hopped off the fence and started walking, circling the arena at a fast clip to clear his mind. After this round they would have a short break while they dragged the arena and pulled out the rankest bulls for the final round. He had at least half an hour before he climbed on that final bull, maybe more.
Outside, and nearly out of breath, Brenae ran to the ticket booth, throwing money at the cashier and begging him to hurry.
“All I have are the nosebleed seats.”
“That’s fine, that’s fine. Just hurry please.”
The man handed her a ticket and she ran through the halls, headed for the aisle that circled around the arena. A security guard tried to stop her, and she flashed her press pass. He let her pass and she continued, walking at a brisk pace, searching the crowds for her cowboy.
There were cowboys everywhere, and their protective gear made them all look alike. Brenae searched frantically, desperate to tell him how she felt before it was too late. She stopped a man who looked familiar and asked him where Roy was.
“He’s in the hole, so I would guess that he’s in the chutes.”
She took off before he could add that she didn’t belong back there. She did belong, she belonged wherever Roy was, and nothing would ever change that. She looked towards the chutes, finally spotting Roy as he chatted with the bull’s owner as he waited to get into the chute. The arena was loud; there was no way he could hear her over the crowd. She ran for all she was worth, slipping between cowboys as they sauntered around the walkway.
She was almost to him when he looked up and their eyes locked. He looked confused and then he looked relieved. He hopped off the rails, ignoring the man who shouted at him that he was on deck. He ran to her, swinging her off her feet as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.
“I’m so sorry. With you, I belong with you, Roy.”
He held her tight, unwilling to let her go. The chute opened and the rider before him burst into the arena. She let go of him and all but shoved him towards the chutes.
“Don’t miss your big chance, Roy. I’ll be here when you’re done. I’ll always be here.”
He smiled at her and stole another quick kiss. He climbed the rail and put his helmet down on his head. He slid onto his bull and started pulling his rope up as the buzzer for the rider before him went off. The crowd cheered and gasped as the bull fighters distracted the bull and helped the cowboy limp away. He’d ridden his bull, but the landing was hard and he had twisted his ankle. He waved to the crowd as he limped out of the arena, the crowd cheering him on.
Brenae climbed the stairs in the box seats and settled in to watch Roy ride his final bull of the night. He was currently in slot number three. One good ride would propel him to the top. All he had to do was ride the bull until the buzzer sounded.
The gate opened and the bull ran out, settling into a bucking spin immediately. It twisted and turned, trying its best to unseat the cowboy on his back, but Roy stayed on. Brenae’s knuckles were white as she held the seat under her.
Three, two, one!
She jumped up and cheered while the crowd roared with applause. He’d won!
He let go of his rope and the bull flung him into the air. He landed on his feet just as the bull crashed into him, tossing him up and over his head with his horns. Brenae shrieked as Roy spun in the air and hit the ground with a thud. The bull sailed around the arena, challenging the bull fighters as they tried to lead him away from Roy’s still body. Brenae went to the rail and started to climb over it to get to Roy. A firm hand grabbed her.
“He’ll be ok, but you won’t help anything going into that arena while the bull is still loose. Let them do their jobs, you meet him over there.” He pointed towards a small arena gate beside the one that the bulls ran through. She thanked him and glanced one last time at Roy. He still wasn’t moving, but the bull was calming down and heading for the gate. By the time she got to the side gate, the bull would be in his pen munching on hay. She walked quickly, trying to avoid all the people who had piled onto the track to get a better look at the motionless cowboy and the medics waiting to get the all-clear to attend to him.
She reached the gate after what seemed like an eternity, holding her breath while she watched the medics checking Roy over. Without warning, he raised his hand and waved to the crowd while he lay prone. The announcer came over the loud speaker to let him know that he had won it all. Roy gave a thumbs-up and then let his arm fall back down. He still hadn’t moved, but it looked like he was talking to the medics.
It seemed like forever that she was standing there, making deals with God if he would just let Roy walk out of here on his own two feet, when the medics helped him sit up and he slowly got to his feet. He’d had the wind knocked out of him and his arm looked like it might be broken, but he was okay. Tears spilled out of her eyes as she sank against the rails with relief. The man beside her opened the gate and gave her a gentle nudge. He winked and smiled and she ran towards Roy, her cowboy.
He saw her and smiled as she ran through the dirt towards him. She stopped just short of him and tenderly wrapped him in a hug. He pulled her away from him and wiped the tears from her sweet face.