Shadow Walker (36 page)

Dawn didn’t believe him. “Can you honestly say you are over Morning Mist? That her memory won’t intrude upon our life if we marry?”

“I can truthfully say I know you’re the woman I want.”

Those weren’t the words Dawn wanted to hear. She needed to hear him say that Morning Mist had been laid to rest once and for all. Her self-esteem
was too fragile to be dealt another crippling blow. Billy Cobb had all but destroyed her sense of self-worth, and she needed more assurances than Cole appeared willing to give.

Her silence roused Cole to anger. “What more do you want from me? Morning Mist is my past, you’re my future.” He saw her tremble and pulled the blanket up over her. “Oh, God, Dawn, what did I do to make you so bitter? What must I do to prove you’re the only woman for me?” His arms tightened around her, as if he feared she would disappear. “Get some sleep. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

A pleasure she refused to acknowledge washed over Dawn as Cole gathered her into his arms and pulled her against him. When she was with Cole, he could talk her into anything. But she was stronger now than she’d ever been. Until she could be assured of the kind of happiness she’d only known in her dreams, she would not marry Cole Webster.

Sometime during the night the rain ceased. By morning a weak sun pierced through the watery gray sky, but the promise of rain still remained. Cole slept late, more at ease than he had been in months now that Dawn was back in his arms where she belonged. Accustomed to late mornings after working into the wee hours, Dawn did not awaken early from her exhausted sleep.

A loud pounding on the door startled both Dawn and Cole from a sound sleep. Cole leaped out of bed, struggling into his pants and shirt as
the door burst open. Why hadn’t he thought to lock it last night?

Dawn sat up in bed, holding the blanket to her chin, her eyes wide and frightened. Then she recognized Sandy, and her fear turned to embarrassment.

“Are you all right, honey? Milly told me about the auction. I’ll kill that damn Porter when I get my hands on him.” His expression was murderous as his gaze fell on Cole, whose face was buried in the folds of his shirt. “As for you, mister, I’m going to tear you apart limb from limb.”

Cole’s head burst through the neck of his shirt. “Hello, Sandy.” His expression was unreadable but his green eyes glittered fiercely.

“Good God! Cole!” His gaze flew to Dawn. Her face was tinged a delicate pink, and he knew without being told what had taken place in that bed last night. He was happier than hell to see Cole but couldn’t help wondering what his intentions were toward Dawn.

“Surprised to see me?” Cole’s voice held only a trace of friendliness. “It didn’t take you long to claim my woman.”

Sandy’s eyes widened in surprise. “Now wait a damn minute. I was merely protecting Dawn in your absence.”

“Dawn tells me you proposed.”

Sandy shot Dawn a quizzical glance. Dawn shook her head, warning him to say nothing about her condition. “Did she tell you why?”

“She didn’t have to. Any man would value a woman like Dawn, and you took advantage of her vulnerability.”

“You’re the one who left her alone and vulnerable,” Sandy charged. “I’ve grown damn fond of Dawn. Marrying her was the only way I could think of to protect her against predators like Cully Porter and his like. You’d been gone so long even your sister gave up on you. I hope you’ll correct the mistakes you made now that you’re home. With you here, Dawn is no longer in need of my protection.”

“Damn right she doesn’t need your protection,” Cole snarled fiercely. Suddenly he realized he was speaking to his best friend as if he were his worst enemy, and the harshness left his voice. “I’m sorry, Sandy, I know you’d never do anything to hurt me. Thank you for all you’ve done for Dawn. You can be the best man at our wedding.”

“Soon, I hope,” Sandy said meaningfully.

“As soon as it can be arranged.”

“No!” Dawn protested. She wasn’t going to sit back and let Cole arrange her life. He walked in and out of her life at will and expected her to be waiting for him like a pet dog. “I’m not marrying Cole.”

“You are so,” chimed Cole and Sandy in unison.

“Are you forgetting something, honey?” Sandy reminded her.

Cole’s green gaze pierced her. “What is it you’re forgetting, love?”

“Nothing! Nothing…. Both of you get out of here so I can get dressed.”

“I’ll wait downstairs for you,” Cole said. “We’ll leave together.”

“No, I have to pack and—”

“No excuses, love. We’re riding home together.”

“Ashley’s house isn’t my home.”

“It will have to suffice until I can build a house for us. Come on, Sandy, Dawn needs some privacy.”

“You might have to wait a long time,” Dawn warned. “I want a bath and I’ll need to pack my belongings.”

“An hour. Meet us downstairs in an hour. Meanwhile, Sandy and I can have a long talk.” He sent Sandy a look that suggested there was much his friend had to account for.

“Very well,” Dawn sighed, “an hour.” Cole should have been suspicious of her easy capitulation.

Once the door closed, Dawn leaped from bed. She washed quickly and dressed in her sturdiest riding clothes. Then she threw the rest of her belongings into a pillowcase and cautiously opened the door. The hallway was deserted. Most of the girls were either still abed or downstairs having their breakfast in the kitchen. She could hear Cole’s voice drifting up to her and hesitated with her hand on the doorknob. Was she doing the right thing? she asked herself. How far could she get before Cole found her? What if he decided she wasn’t worth following?

What about the baby?

Dawn utterly rejected the notion of telling Cole he was going to be a father. She would have to trust Sandy not to divulge her secret. Cole had to want her for herself, not because she was carrying his child. Indecision sat heavily upon her shoulders. Just hours ago Cole had told her he loved her, that he wanted to marry her and settle down.
He’d sworn that Morning Mist no longer stood between them, that his heart was free to love again. Suddenly Dawn came to a decision.

She would claim Wally from the livery and ride west to Portland. If Cole came after her, she would know he truly cared. If he let her ride out of his life, she was well rid of him. She had a feeling she was being unreasonable and foolish. Maybe her pregnancy made her that way. But she wanted to be sure she was more than a warm body to Cole.

Closing the door softly behind her, Dawn slipped down the back stairs. The livery was but a short distance away. Within a quarter of an hour she was on her way.

Cole tried to relax but couldn’t. He worried that he hadn’t convinced Dawn that he loved her. What would it take to make her realize she meant everything to him? He glanced at Sandy, noting that his friend was as edgy as he was.

“Perhaps we should have that talk while we’re waiting for Dawn,” Cole suggested. “Exactly what is there between you and her? Why did you propose, and why did she accept? She flat out refused my proposal.”

Sandy sent him a disgruntled look. “You abandoned Dawn. You gave her scant hope for a future with you. For God’s sake, Cole, you forced her to leave Dodge City against her will! Why? Was it for your own selfish purposes?” He shook his head. “I just don’t understand you.”

“I told you why I took Dawn away from Dodge. I planned to leave her with Running Elk, but circumstances made it impossible. I couldn’t in good
conscience leave her there, with all the trouble brewing on the plains. The Indians were on the warpath. My protective instincts run deep where Dawn is concerned.”

“It wasn’t your protectiveness that got her with child.”

Cole flushed. “You know about that? It was a mistake. Dawn never knew how deeply I grieved when she lost our child. I’m glad you know. Now you understand why I feel responsible for Dawn.”

“Do you love her?”

“Deeply. I realized how much I cared shortly after I left Oregon City. It was too long in coming, but I’ve finally accepted Morning Mist’s death. She’s part of my past, remembered and loved, but finally laid to rest. She will never interfere with the future I intend to share with Dawn. I want to marry Dawn, to settle down and have children with her. But now Dawn doesn’t believe me.”

“Do you blame her?”

“No. I blame myself.” He stared at Sandy, suddenly wanting answers. “What are you doing in Oregon City? What does Dawn mean to you, and why in the hell did you propose to her?”

“After the home office informed me you’d resigned your job, I felt at loose ends. Without you as a partner, the job no longer held the same appeal. I decided if you liked Oregon well enough to stay, I’d like it too. I turned in my resignation and took the next train west.”

“You’ve answered only half my question.”

“I’ve grown extremely fond of Dawn. Fond enough to want to protect her.”

“Is that why you asked her to marry you? Seems like a flimsy reason to me.”

Sandy sent him an oblique look. “Did Dawn say nothing to you?”

“About what?”

Sandy was silent so long Cole felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. He felt it in his bones. And whatever it was, Sandy seemed loath to reveal it to him.

“Spit it out, Sandy. What is it you’re hiding?”

“If Dawn wanted you to know, she’d tell you. You
did
spend the night in her bed, didn’t you?”

Cole was puzzled at the accusatory note in Sandy’s voice. “I don’t deny it. Nor do I deny asking Dawn to marry me. She refused. She said she was going to marry you. What in the hell is going on?”

“Dawn refused your proposal?” Sandy asked, aghast. “Dammit, Cole, she couldn’t have been thinking clearly. The only reason I asked her to marry me was because …” His sentence fell off and he dropped his gaze, refusing to look Cole in the eye.

“Go on,” Cole gritted out. “You may as well tell me. You asked Dawn to marry you because …”

“This should come from Dawn.”

Frustration made Cole’s voice harsh. “You’re supposed to be my best friend. What are you hiding?”

“Dawn is carrying your child,” Sandy blurted out. “I asked her to marry me because everyone assumed you weren’t coming back and her babe needed a name.”

Cole leaped to his feet, stunned. “Why didn’t Dawn tell me?” His eyes narrowed. “Unless the child doesn’t belong to me.”

“I ought to punch you in the nose for even thinking such a thing,” Sandy blasted. “You don’t know Dawn if you think she’d consort with another man.”

Some perverse devil made Cole say, “Obviously she was willing to share your bed when she agreed to marry you.”

“You don’t know a damn thing, Cole. Our marriage was to be merely a formality to give your child a name. We both agreed we wouldn’t share a bed. I could have let Dawn bear your child in shame, but I felt too strongly about your babe being raised without a father or a name.”

Cole felt like a jealous fool for doubting Dawn’s loyalty. His heart told him she loved him but she had been hurt too many times to trust again. “I’m sorry, Sandy, jealousy does strange things to a man. I just can’t figure out why Dawn didn’t tell me about the baby. Especially after I asked her to marry me.”

“You haven’t earned her trust, Cole. Dawn’s past life must have been a living hell, if only half of what you told me about her is true. She needs someone who will love her without restrictions, someone she can depend upon. Until now you’ve given her scant hope of enjoying a future with you. She doesn’t want to be second best in your heart.”

Sandy’s astute observation astounded Cole. How could Sandy know what was in Dawn’s heart after so short an acquaintance? Had he, Cole, been blind to Dawn’s needs? Had his stubbornness,
his refusal to listen to what his heart had been trying to tell him, cost him the only woman with the power to reach inside him and free him from his past?

Suddenly Cole became aware of the passage of time. It was long past the time Dawn was supposed to join them. He glanced toward the staircase, concern creasing his brow. Sandy followed the direction of Cole’s gaze, a gnawing suspicion grinding inside his gut.

“You don’t think … ?” Sandy’s question ended abruptly.

“I’d put nothing past Dawn when her mind is set on something.” Cole sprinted up the stairs, with Sandy close on his heels.

Cole knew before he flung open the door to Dawn’s room that he wouldn’t find her inside.

Sandy’s concern was apparent. “Where do you suppose she’s gone?”

“Damned if I know. When I find her I don’t know what I’ll do first, kiss her or wring her beautiful little neck. She has more than just herself to protect, she has my child growing inside her. She’s already lost one child, what if …” Cole nearly choked on the horrible notion that sprang unbidden into his head. “What if she loses this child? She’s fragile. She might not survive this time. Oh, God, what have I done to her?”

“I’ll help you look for her,” Sandy said. “Does she own a horse?”

“She probably boarded Wally at the livery. Let’s start there. It’s raining again. I have to find her before she freezes, or catches pneumonia. The little
fool! What in the world possessed her to leave like this?”

“You can ask her when you find her,” Sandy said, urging Cole down the stairs and into the cold drizzle that froze into hard pellets before it reached the ground.

The hostler told Cole that Dawn had been there earlier, and that she’d seemed in a great hurry. He mentioned that she was carrying a bulging pillowcase that she’d tied onto her saddle before she left. No, he didn’t notice the direction in which she was headed, nor did she say where she was going. The stableboy volunteered the information that the lady had ridden west out of town, along the Portland road. Cole thought that made sense. Losing herself in a big city was safer than being alone in the wilderness.

“I’m going after her,” Cole told Sandy.

“I’ll come with you.”

“I’m going alone. You return to the house and tell Ashley and Tanner what happened. Dawn doesn’t have too much of a head start. I should catch up with her easily.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been traveling for days. You look about done in. Let me go in your place.”