Shades of Milk and Honey (15 page)

Miss Emily Marchand went to the pianoforte and began to play a simple air, faintly tinting the space above the instrument with colours reminiscent of the dining room. Jane contrived to avoid a rubber of casino, leaving such card games for Mr. Buffington and Lady FitzCameron, and joined Beth by the French doors overlooking Banbree Manor’s garden. Though she wanted to find out how the girl had fared during her conversation with Mr. Marchand, Jane recognized in herself another motivation: when Mr. Dunkirk entered the room, he would seek the company of his sister.

Beth was out of sorts, however, and the enthusiasm she had shown before dinner seemed to be smothered under a layer of melancholy.

“Are you well?” Jane asked.

“Yes, thank you.” Beth sighed, but seemed unwilling to continue the conversation. Jane stood by her in silence, reminded of her mood at Robinsford Abbey. In this silence, Jane’s mind turned to the aborted conversation with Mr. Dunkirk about his sister’s mysterious first tutor. Perhaps he had died from too much glamour and Beth was tragically reminded of him by Mr. Vincent. Or, more romantically, perhaps they had had an illicit liaison, but that was a silly thought given Beth’s youth.

Jane shook off her fancies by excusing herself from Beth and asking Miss Emily Marchand if she might take a turn at the pianoforte.

By losing herself in song and glamour, Jane was able to put most of these thoughts out of her mind, though they
continued to bubble under the surface. She had just begun on the second movement of Beethoven’s
Quasi una fantasia
when the door to the drawing room opened and the gentlemen joined them.

As she had expected, Mr. Dunkirk went to his sister’s side. Jane played, attempting to do justice to the music without shewing off. The folds which she worked around her were simple things of color and light, which represented the elements of the music, rather than literally interpreting it. After Mr. Vincent’s display in the dining room, Jane felt that the farther she stayed from realism, the more successful her chances of satisfying her audience.

At the end of the song she looked up to find Mr. Vincent standing by the pianoforte, staring baldly at her. Jane did not know what to say to him, so she let her fingers drift idly over the keys, waiting for him to say something. He finally said, “What did you think?”

“Your work is beautiful.” She winced at the banality of her compliment. “It made me forget where I was.”

His eyes narrowed. “Did you see her?”

Jane lifted her hands from the piano. “Her? I do not know what you mean.”

“Look again.” Before she could ask him to explain, he bowed and left the pianoforte.

Curious now, Jane stood and ceded her place back to Miss Emily Marchand; then she slipped across the hall into the dining room. The servants had already done their duty,
clearing the plates, cutlery, and linens from the table, leaving only the massive wood structure in the middle of the apparent glade.

Jane paced around the perimeter of the room, looking for a “her” among the trees and flowers of the glamural. On her second perusal, she suddenly spotted a face in the bark of a tree and understood who “she” was. The tree was a laurel, and the face, nearly obscured by the bark closed around her, was Daphne, as Jane had rendered her during their
tableau vivant
, or viewed another way, Mr. Vincent had rendered Melody in glamoured wood. Jane stopped, transfixed by the tree and its subtle compliment, though she could not say with any certainty if the compliment was intended for her or for her sister. She stared at the face, at the mix of relief and fear which he had captured in the features, and felt as if the nymph might open its eyes and observe her at any moment. The breeze that Mr. Vincent had placed in the room moved the tree, giving the nymph the illusion of breath. Jane watched until she became worried that she would be missed in the drawing room.

At the threshold of the drawing room, she stopped, arrested by the sound of her own name. Mr. Buffington was laughing and said, “Plain Jane? I should judge her fortunate if she were only plain!”

This provoked a round of merriment from his listeners, so near the door that it was impossible for Jane to enter without notice. Her cheeks burned and tears pressed against
her eyes. If she had taken Melody’s advice and played with glamour, he would not say such things. It did not matter; she knew it did not; and yet, she could not bring herself to cross that threshold and face their attempt to conceal the conversation. Jane stumbled back, her sight dimmed by tears, and retreated to the dining room.

Decrying herself as a weak and vain girl, Jane struggled to restrain her emotions. It did not signify that Mr. Buffington found her less than plain. He was not a man whose attentions she wanted, and so his opinion of her did not matter.

However little she thought of Mr. Buffington’s opinion, or of his unseemly attitude in mocking her, some part of her insisted that it was true, and that he must not be the only one who held that opinion. Was it not likely that Mr. Dunkirk also thought she would be lucky to be “only plain”? Had not Jane herself indulged in vanity by using glamour to shorten her nose? Miss FitzCameron did so regularly, and it had done her no harm in the eyes of her suitors, but Jane, plain
Jane, in her honesty and integrity, was mocked for an accident of birth over which she had little control.

Footsteps caught her ear as someone approached the dining room. The tears on her cheeks burned their tale of upset on her skin. Spinning in place, Jane sought another exit, but Mr. Vincent’s art had hidden the other doors.

Rather than let herself be seen in this state of violent emotion, Jane pressed herself back into a corner, and used the light from the room to blow a bubble of glamour around herself in the manner which Mr. Vincent had shown her.

Trembling lest she be discovered, Jane held herself as still as possible, trying to hold her breath even. Silently, she blessed Mr. Vincent for giving her the ability to hide.

First through the door was Beth, followed by Captain Livingston. He looked behind him as he came through the door and pulled it closed behind him.

And then she nearly lost her ability to keep still, for Captain Livingston placed his arm around Beth in a manner reserved for lovers. “Now, dearest. What troubles you?”

Beth shrugged his embrace off. “How can you pretend to not know? You must know what torment it is to watch you pay such attentions to Miss FitzCameron.”

He laughed. “Is that all? She is my cousin. Further, I was seated with her during dinner, and so could hardly fail to attend her.”

“But then you all but ignore me!”

Captain Livingston said, “Dearest, you must understand that if we are to keep from under my aunt’s notice, I must
share my attentions with others. I have no wish to hurt you, but my aunt, though good, is a jealous woman. She expects me to engage myself to Livia.”

“Why can you not tell her that you are engaged to me?”

At Beth’s words, Jane pressed her hands against her mouth to hold her shock inside.

“Because I am poor. Until I am assured of her good graces, I do not want to risk a breach. So I must broach the subject carefully. Trust me, dearest; let me proceed as I feel I must. If it were within my power . . .”

“I know, truly I do.” Beth lowered her gaze. “But it is hard to wait.”

“For me as well. But for now, we should rejoin the party so that no one misses us.” He patted his jacket pocket and winced. “Buffington expects me to sit in on the next round of rubber. Dearest, I told him I was going to fetch my wallet, but my room is in the east wing. I don’t suppose . . .”

“Oh! Of course.” Beth opened her reticule and pulled out a handful of bills. “Father just posted my allowance to me, so I feel quite flush.” She pressed the bills into his hand. “You go first. I should like a moment to collect myself. Besides, it would not do to be seen alone together.” Her back was to Jane, and hid her expression, but her voice was resolute.

Captain Livingston smiled and kissed her on top of her head. “Thank you, dear.” Without further word, he slipped from the room.

Jane clung to the wall, at a loss for what to do. She had
not been intended to overhear this conversation, but was it worse to explain her presence, or conceal it? It was clear that Beth and Captain Livingston had an engagement, but what sort of engagement was this that required secrecy and, worse yet, flirtation with others to conceal?

Standing alone in the middle of the forest glade, Beth seemed as fragile as a deer. Jane could not stand the thought of seeing her on the morrow and pretending that she knew nothing of this odd engagement. It was best to reveal herself at once.

Thankful that the girl’s back was to her, Jane released the folds which tied her bubble of safety in place. “Beth?”

As if a hunter’s shot had resounded, Beth leapt and spun, her eyes wide and staring. “Oh! Jane! I did not hear you enter. Heavens, you gave me such a fright. I have come to look at Mr. Vincent’s fine work once again. I find it quite entrancing.” Her face slowly changed as she looked around at the trees and grasses in the great room and came to the realization that there were no other doors visible. “But where did you come from?”

Jane faltered, even before she began to speak. Her mouth would not form the words.

Beth frowned. “Are you quite well?”

Swallowing, Jane tried again. If she could make Beth understand that she had not intentionally eavesdropped, then perhaps her intrusion would be more readily forgiven. “I had a small upset earlier and came here to collect myself.”

Before she could continue, Beth had crossed the space between them, all solicitousness. “Oh, you poor thing. Do tell me, if you may, what has upset you.”

Jane waved her hand to brush that aside; her own embarrassment did not matter in this conversation, save that it caused her to be in place to overhear the lovers. “It does not matter, so much; simply know that I had been somewhat upset, and took refuge in the—”

“No. No. You may not tell me that someone upset you without telling me who and how.”

“But it does not matter.”

“It matters to me.” Beth took Jane’s hands in her own. “Dear Jane, what upset you? Tell me that, and then you may continue with your story.”

Knowing that she would get no farther with Beth until she satisfied the girl’s curiosity, Jane conceded. “I went to look at the glamural again, and as I was returning to the drawing room, I heard a group of men standing together. One of them made a comment which—”

“What did they say?”

Even now, the words were still burned into her mind. “ ‘Plain Jane? I should judge her fortunate if she were only plain.’ ” Jane faltered for a moment, angry at herself that the words should still carry any power.

A vein pulsed at Beth’s temple. “Who said this?”

“I did not see the speaker.” True, though she
had
recognized Mr. Buffington’s voice; but she did not want Beth to be distracted by such a small injury. “It is not important
now. What is important is that I went to calm myself in the dining room, and—”

“Oh! And then you found me there when you sought solitude.”

“One might say that
you
found
me
, and I must beg your forgiveness for that. You see, I was here first, and too distraught to bear company, so when I heard voices I wove one of Mr. Vincent’s bubbles around me in a moment of panic. You must believe that I had no intention to overhear any private conversation, but once—”

“Do you mean to say you have been here since—since I entered?” Beth’s voice trembled with sudden understanding.

Jane nodded.

“And you heard . . . ?”

“Everything. Yes. Forgive me. When you came into the dining room, I was too startled to say anything, and then there did not seem to be a good moment to stop you. But I thought it best to tell you what I had heard.”

Beth left Jane’s side and paced the room, her hands twisting in restless agitation so their fine bones stood out in sharp relief. “I hardly know what to say. I am equal parts angry and dismayed and, to some measure, relieved, for I have had no one to whom I could unburden my heart. And then, too, I am frightened. Oh, Miss Ellsworth. I beg you. Do not tell anyone; you do not know what the consequences could be.”

“But surely you would not enter into a liaison of which your family would disapprove.”

Beth laughed with a bitterness far beyond her years. “They would approve of Henry, but my brother’s sense of honour would not permit him to allow the engagement to continue unannounced, and, if it is to continue, then it needs be kept secret for Henry’s sake. Please. I beg of you. Tell no one. Will you promise me that? Oh, Jane, will you promise? I do not know what I should do if anyone knew.”

Beth’s posture spoke of desperation, and Jane was reminded of the sadness she saw sometimes in the young woman’s eyes. Though it was not a conversation to which Jane should have been privy, she felt uneasy at contributing to the subterfuge of Beth and Captain Livingston’s engagement.

From without the dining room, voices drew closer. Beth turned to the door. “It is my brother. You must promise. Please, Jane, or we are undone.” She gripped Jane’s hand with such impassioned strength that it left Jane little choice but to blurt, “I will not tell.”