Read Self Preservation Online

Authors: Ethan Day

Tags: #M/M Contemporary, #Source: Amazon

Self Preservation (13 page)

 

Deseree tried to keep from laughing.

 

Davis thought,
I'm not guilty of anything. Okay, so I thought I was guilty, but I wasn't, so it doesn't count.

 

“That's true,” Jack said, looking at Davis. “You never speculated once.”

 

“Well, yeah,” Davis said, dropping an arm on the table. “Like I think you'd be marrying a hobag.”

 

Deseree and Alex burst out laughing as Davis reminded himself that it wasn't always necessary for him to speak.

 

“Davis is a very trusting man,” Candace said with a wink. “It's always been one of my favorite things about him.”

 

“And it's rapidly becoming one of mine,” Alex said, grabbing his hand and pulling it to his chest. “I'm utterly seduced by the Sandra Dee of it all.”

 

Tadd and Deseree laughed as Candace rolled her eyes. Jack looked on with a half smile.

 

Davis smiled and looked at Deseree when he saw Jack's agent come into the bar. She was looking around the room, and relief swept over her face when she spotted them at the table. She scurried across the room and pulled up at the table, out of breath, holding up a hand.

 

“Jessica, are you okay?” Jack asked.

 

“For God's sake, Jack,” Candace said. “Get the woman a chair.”

 

Jack got up and pulled over a chair for her. Alex leaned in closer to Davis and whispered, “Should I kiss you again?”

 

“Swine,” Davis whispered back through a smile.

 

“Jack, I've been looking everywhere for you,” Jessica said.

 

“Don't worry, love,” Alex said under his breath with a grin. “Your secret's safe with me.”

 

“Asshole,” Davis whispered.

 

“Don't you have your phone?” Jessica asked.

 

Alex leaned closer. “Now you're just deliberately trying to arouse me.”

 

Davis rolled his eyes and sat up in his seat, irritated by Alex's constant interruptions.

 

“Of course,” Jack said, reaching into his pockets.

 

“Oops,” Davis said, cringing as he pulled Jack's cell out of his pocket. He slid it across the table. “But I swear it never rang.”

 

Jack flipped it open and shook his head. “You turned it off, silly.”

 

Davis sank back into the seat as Jessica shot him a nasty look. “My bad.”

 

“I got a call this afternoon from casting at NBC,” Jessica said, turning back to Jack. “They want to test you for a pilot they're working on for next season.”

 

The table erupted with squeals and screams as Davis and Deseree glanced at one another and smiled. Alex looked at them both suspiciously.

 

This is it, Davis thought, so giddy he couldn't see straight.

 

“I didn't know you were sending my head shots to the studios,” Jack said, looking surprised.

 

“That's just it,” Jessica said excitedly. “Somebody from the studio saw you a year ago in
Speed-the-Plow
and remembered you when this part came along.”

 

Tadd looked at Jack with a huge grin. “This is great!”

 

Candace looked up at the ceiling. “My son…a household name.”

 

“Congrats, Jack,” Deseree said.

 

“There is one teensy, little, minute catch,” Jessica said, cringing.

 

“What?” Jack asked.

 

Here it comes, here it comes, Davis thought, scooting up in the seat, looking like he was about ready to leap out of it.

 

“They want you there tomorrow morning,” Jessica said, squinting her eyes, waiting for Jack to explode.

 

Come on, come on, damn it. Davis watched Jack's face as it all sunk in.

 

“We're getting married tomorrow. I'm not flying to Los Angeles. I can't believe you would even tell them I'd consider it.”

 

Davis's smile faded and Deseree looked over at him, confused.

 

“You most certainly can and will go. We can postpone the ceremony, Jack. We can get married anytime. You may never get another opportunity like this.”

 

Jack leaned over and gave Tadd a soft kiss. “That settles it then. I'm definitely not going. If they can't wait, then it's their loss.”

 

Davis stared blankly forward as Tadd shook his head, telling Jack he was crazy. Tadd kissed Jack and told him he loved him. Davis began to get up from the table, and Alex and Deseree scooted out for him.

 

“I'm so sorry,” Davis said, smiling weakly. “Please excuse me for a minute.”

 

Candace looked after him and asked Deseree, “Is he okay?”

 

“Oh yeah. I'll go check on him, though.”

 

 

 

Davis rounded the corner into the posh lobby, placing his hand up on the wall for balance. His ears were ringing loudly as people popped in and out of the revolving doors. He leaned back against the wall and slowly slid down, sitting up on his ankles. He couldn't breathe and didn't notice Deseree walk by, looking over the lobby for him. She stood up on tiptoe but still couldn't find him. Instead, she almost tripped on him as she backed up. She sank down beside him.

 

“I don't understand.”

 

“Look, I'm sure—”

 

“He left me for some tiny little supporting role in a musical,” Davis said, calming his breathing down. “Why isn't he running off leaving the Toad in a lurch?”

 

“I don't know,” Deseree said, afraid to touch him. “Maybe he learned from his mistakes. He was a lot younger—”

 

“Well, why now all of a sudden, damn it! This is all your fault! I should have never come here!”

 

Deseree took in a deep breath and rose. She began walking away, but stopped, turned around, and went back over to him. “Stand up!”

 

Davis peeked up at her and did as she instructed.

 

“Screw you, Davis! I don't need this shit! I have problems of my own!”

 

“Oh please,” Davis said, looking back at her. “I don't think trying to figure out where next year's hemlines should be constitutes a problem.”

 

“You selfish prick!” Deseree spoke too loudly, and a few people in the lobby began to take notice. “You haven't thought about anything other than yourself since I walked through your front door.” She stood there looking at him as if waiting for a response. “That's right! Have you even thought about why I might have possibly shown up out of the blue in the first place?”

 

“Well…” Davis said, looking down at the floor and then back up at her.

 

“Of course you haven't. You never even bothered to ask if I'm okay?”

 

“I know you're okay. I'm looking at you,” Davis said, fearing that she might deck him.

 

“Yeah, well, I'm not okay…okay! As it turns out, I'm pregnant.” Deseree paced back and forth for a second as Davis watched her in shock.

 

“On top of that,” she said, stopping to look up at him again, “I don't know what to do about it. Not only am I no longer seeing the father, but I also don't like him very much. Now I may have to deal with that asshole being in my life…forever! Maybe I don't have to tell him?” She tapped her chin with a finger and looked back up at Davis. “What do you think? Do I
have
to tell him?”

 

Davis started to say something, but she placed her hand over his mouth.

 

“Don't you dare speak to me,” she said, holding back tears. “Selfish, little, thinking-only-about-yourself ass!” Tears started to come down her cheeks. “I don't even know if I'm capable of handling a kid. So I thought…hey, go see Davis. He's my rock. He's always been my rock. He'll know what to do. That was a stupid assumption, huh? You can't even let go of a stupid-ass man that's been out of your life now longer than he was in it to begin with!”

 

Deseree turned and stormed out of the hotel. Davis watched as she went the wrong direction on the street. She came back the other direction talking to herself and flinging her hands through the air.

 

Davis glimpsed around the lobby as several people stood looking at him. He turned a few times, unsure of where to go, before finally walking toward the door.

 

Alex stood just around the corner from where they'd fought, leaning against the wall in front of the hotel bar entryway. He watched Davis leave the hotel and head down the sidewalk.

 

As Davis walked along the sidewalk, he realized how terrified she must be and felt horrible that he hadn't seen it. He'd never seen Deseree cry in all the time he had known her. He wasn't sure she could until now. It made him sick to his stomach thinking he hadn't been there for her.

Chapter Nine
 

 

 

Deseree sat on the corner of her bed in Candace's apartment. Her hair hung in wet curls and she was wrapped in a fluffy white terrycloth robe Candace had loaned her. She stared off into space and was startled by a soft knock at the door. She gazed at the door listlessly but got up to answer the knock. Davis stood in the hallway in his boxer briefs, cradling a pile of clothes in his arms. His eyes were puffy, and they began to well up again.

 

“I don't know what to wear.” A tear began to run down his cheek.

 

She smiled and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the room.

 

“I'm sorry I'm such a scumbag,” he said as she shut the door.

 

“You're my best friend of a scumbag, so what's a girl to do?” Deseree asked, giving him a hug. She pulled away and held up her arm to his face. “Dry your eyes.”

 

Davis wiped his cheeks over the sleeve of her robe. “I'm such a little shamelet, I know, but I want you to know that whatever you decide to do…you won't be alone.”

 

“I figured you wouldn't leave me knocked up and flying solo,” Deseree said as they walked over to the bed and she sat down.

 

“I'm so ashamed I didn't see it,” Davis said, dropping the clothes onto the bed. “You were having morning sickness the other day, and you haven't touched liquor the entire time you've been here. That alone should have tipped me off.”

 

“Okay,” Deseree said, holding up her arms. “That's the second time in two days my drinking habits have been called into question. I'm beginning to get a complex.”

 

“Sorry.” Davis sat next to her on the bed. “So what are you thinking? What do you want to do?”

 

She took his hand. “I don't know. I'm scared, Davis.”

 

“Please tell me the father isn't the dog man you stood me up for the night of Jack's play.”

 

“That would be the one,” Deseree said. “I'm such an idiot.”

 

“And I've been running around whining like a little bitch.”

 

“Actually, it's been a nice distraction.”

 

“Really? You're not just saying that?”

 

“No,” she said, smiling as she looked at him. “And I'm sorry I said those things about you and Jack.”

 

“I had it coming,” Davis said, looking over at the clothes. “Now I have to get ready to go to this stupid dinner whatever party thingy and watch as Tadd slathers himself all over Jack.”

 

“Rehearsal dinner?”

 

“I don't know… I'm so confused. Candace mentioned a band?”

 

“For the reception tomorrow?” Deseree asked.

 

“No, for tonight…they have an orchestra for the reception.”

 

“This is the strangest wedding I've ever been to.”

 

“It's the only one I've ever been to, and it sucks. Honestly, this whole thing is the most ridiculous Cecil B. DeMille-like spectacle I've ever seen. It's like they're trying to prove something.”

 

“Or rub it in everyone's face,” she added with a grin.

 

“Yeah.” Davis laughed. “That's probably it.”

 

“I still don't understand how they've been able to pull this off in such a short amount of time,” Deseree said, shaking her head.

 

“Candace and Tadd know practically everyone in Chicago. The two of them didn't have to work too hard after pulling in a few favors.”

 

“Well,” Deseree said, getting up off the bed and patting his shoulder. “I guess we better get you ready for your close-up.”

 

“Not that there's much point,” Davis said with a sigh as he stood up next to her.

 

“Honey, if you learn nothing else from all this,” Deseree said, grabbing him by the shoulders, “please realize that there is never any excuse to not look fabulous.”

* * *

 

Davis and Deseree entered the elegant banquet hall. An enormous and very elaborate buffet occupied the far end, with people surrounding it, filling plates with food. A large dance floor was set up in the center and a huge big band orchestra along the back wall played live music. Round tables with pristine white tablecloths radiated out from the dance floor. A large bar was located on the third wall, opposite, with several bartenders as well a champagne station. Enormous crystal chandeliers hung from the tall ceilings and the room was packed with people milling or standing in groups.

 

Davis and Deseree lingered in the doorway, surveying the room. Davis was wearing a sleek black suit Deseree had altered to fit him perfectly, paired with a pale pink shirt and a slightly oversize necktie. Deseree had on a vintage floor length gray silk dress that looked like something Jean Harlow might have worn in an old black-and-white movie from the thirties. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun with several sparkly silver clips.

 

“Nice spread.”

 

“Candace doesn't do simple,” Davis said, smiling as Candace approached them wearing a bright red dress that formed snuggly to her figure. She had on a headset that had a microphone attached.

 

“It's not polite to skulk about in doorways,” Candace said, giving Davis a hug.

 

“Everything's beautiful,” Davis said as they separated. “Especially you.”

 

Candace held up her hand, listening to a muffled voice in her ear. She pulled a small receiver out from between her breasts. “I love these things. I feel like Janet Jackson.” She pressed a button and held the receiver up to her mouth. “I'm on my way.” She placed it back down in her cleavage and looked up. “Tempura trauma… I'll find you two later.”

 

Candace made her way toward the food area and Davis and Deseree worked their way into the room. They spied Jack and Tadd sitting at a table. Jack smiled at Tadd and gave him a soft kiss.

 

Davis placed his hand on his stomach. “I think I'm going to be sick.”

 

“Have you eaten since lunch?”

 

“No, and I actually didn't eat much then.”

 

Deseree took him by the arm and headed for the buffet. “Let's get some food in you.”

 

“I'm not really hungry,” he said with a grimace.

 

“I don't care. I'm starving and you aren't going to sit by while I gorge. You don't have to take this whole looking pretty thing too far.”

 

As they walked along the buffet, Deseree piled a plate full of hors d'oeuvres, while shoving one after another into her mouth. Davis laughed as she glanced up and popped a crab puff into his mouth. She scowled as he put his arm around her and escorted her away.

 

“I'm not done yet,” she said, with a mouth full of food.

 

“Christ, woman, I know you're eating for two but leave some for the other guests.”

 

She gazed back at the buffet longingly as Davis led her to a table. He pulled out a chair for her. “I'll go get us something to drink.”

 

She plopped down, looking over her plate. Before Davis could leave, though, Alex joined them, smiling. He had two flutes of champagne in one hand and a club soda with lime in the other.

 

“Oh look,” Davis said, crossing his arms, “it's Judas.”

 

“Now, now,” Alex said, placing the soda in front of Deseree. “For the mommy to be,” he added with a wink as Deseree's mouth fell open, revealing a half-chewed stuffed mushroom.

 

“That's a charming look for you,” Alex said.

 

Deseree reached over and smacked Davis. “You told!”

 

“I did not!” Davis looked at Alex with a smirk. “The little weasel probably bugged us.”

 

“Don't be daft,” Alex said, handing Davis a glass of champagne. “It couldn't possibly be due to the fact you two were shamelessly screaming at one another like contestants on a reality TV show earlier today.”

 

“Way to go,” Deseree said to Davis as he looked down at her. She mumbled something about a scarlet letter under her breath.

 

“It's my fault. You're the one that thought Hagatha Christie here was so adorable. I don't want this.” Davis looked at Alex and set the flute down on the table. “It's all tainty with your lies and deceit.”

 

Alex pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. “I'm sorry. I didn't realize we'd switched to moral indignation. I do hope NBC won't be too disappointed about Jack declining that offer…which seemed to come out of nowhere.”

 

Deseree's eyes bulged as she shoved another morsel of food into her mouth, and Davis huffed as he sat down between her and Alex.

 

Davis picked up the glass and took a drink. “I really hate you.”

 

Alex laughed with a slight gleam in his eyes. “Well, it's a start.”

 

Davis rolled his eyes, glaring at Alex as Deseree watched the two of them smiling.

 

“Very well,” Alex said, getting up from the table. “I'll leave you to your intrigue.”

 

Davis watched Alex walk off. “That man irritates me to no end.”

 

“Gets right under your skin, huh?” Deseree said, smiling through a mouthful of food.

 

“Like you wouldn't believe.” Davis turned his attention to Jack. He let out a little whimper. “I don't know what else to do.”

 

“This may sound crazy, Davis, but perhaps you should just be honest with him.”

 

“Just tell him I'm still in love with him and to please marry me?”

 

“It's not like any of our scheming has gotten us anywhere. What do you have to lose?”

 

“Jack,” Davis said, sucking down the rest of the champagne.

 

Deseree watched Davis as he stared at Jack. She scrunched up her forehead, and a smile began to spread over her face. “I'll be right back.”

 

Davis nodded, not really listening to her.
I love you, Jack
, Davis thought. It's not that difficult. How many times in the past had he spoken those words? Why did it scare him so much to say them now? Was he afraid the reply wouldn't be the same? How could it not? How could Jack realistically choose a man he'd only known for a few weeks over him? It was unthinkable.

 

As Davis watched, Jack suddenly turned and noticed him. They smiled at one another, and Jack started to get up out of his seat. But in an instant Deseree came back and grabbed Davis by the hand.

 

“If we're going to leave empty-handed,” she said, dragging Davis out of the chair and across the room, “we're going out with style.”

 

Davis followed her onto the center of the almost-empty dance floor. The song the band was playing ended, and Davis grinned at her as the next, very familiar, song began—“Let's Face the Music and Dance.”

 

“You can't be serious.”

 

“We practiced this for an entire semester,” Deseree said, grinning like a little girl. “Are you telling me you don't remember it?”

 

Davis lifted her arms, locking their wrists into the familiar frame. “Oh, I remember.”

 

“Then shut up and dance.”

 

Davis began leading Deseree around the floor in classic Astaire-and-Rogers-style, all twirling and intricate steps. He spun, releasing one hand as he turned, snapping her out to present her at the end of his arm. They smiled at one another as they locked arms again and tapped across the center of the floor. Deseree laughed out loud, and they swayed back and forth as Davis took her in his arms again, spinning her around the floor.

 

Candace stopped, watching the two of them, and let out a little joyful laugh. Her smile faded when she noticed Alex standing a few feet away from her, grinning as he watched them. She smirked and scanned the room. Everyone had turned their attention to the dance floor.

 

Deseree placed her hands around Davis's neck and he held out his arms as he spun, lifting her feet off the floor. He grabbed her by the waist, lifted her up, then lowered her as she bent at the waist, and he slid her between his legs, letting go of her as she glided across the floor. He turned with an outstretched hand and brought her back to her feet.

 

Tadd stared at Jack, who was watching with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape. “Look at monkey face go,” Jack said, and Tadd turned his attention back to them.

 

Davis and Deseree came back together, facing one another briefly before he dipped her. Then the music stopped. They each smiled at the other, breathing heavily as the room erupted into applause. He lifted her upright and they each turned and bowed, laughing.

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