Seeing Red (22 page)

She mulled it over. He was right. She didn’t even
know how Alexander felt, except for possibly horny, but she knew
how she felt, and she knew that risking their friendship wasn’t
worth the price. “I wasn’t planning on starting anything up with
him either. But, you’re right, Oliver. His feelings may not be
genuine, but I still can’t hurt him or risk us not working out and
losing you. Please understand.”

He took a deep breath with his eyes closed. “When I
saw you getting out of the car yesterday, I couldn’t believe how
you could have gotten even more beautiful than the last time I saw
you. I still love you, Jillian, but I guess I understand, for now,
because I know that you and I will happen sooner or later.” He said
it with a fierce intensity that left her completely and utterly
unnerved.

Before taking Oliver home, she swung by her
apartment and brought a box of journals down and put it in her
trunk. When she dropped him off, he grabbed the box and took it
with him. Before he headed to the door, he turned and asked through
her open window, “Why me, Jillian? Why not Alexander?” Why isn’t he
reading these?”

“I don’t know. I guess because Alexander has this
weird big protector thing going, and he becomes clingy, and I don’t
want that.”

“Hmmm? Clingy? No, we wouldn’t want that, would we.
Alexander hovering around you would not be acceptable,” Oliver
replied with a mischievous grin. Jillian shook her head side to
side with a knowing smile.

Before she drove off, she noticed that the yellow
car and the bike were still there, causing her hand to
involuntarily clutch her heart.

Relationships are like garage
sales. From a distance they look interesting, but up close it’s
just a bunch of crap you don’t really need.

-Helen

Jillian

Suddenly, it was the last week of the semester.
Everyone was frenzied, studying for final exams. Oliver called Jill
earlier that week and asked her to dinner to talk about some of the
things he read about in the journals, but Jill put it off until
after final exams. Although the anticipation of knowing what he
discovered was killing her, she needed to pass these final exams in
order to give her full attention to the journals.

Alexander reverted back to being withdrawn. He
ignored her in school and never contacted her outside school. Black
continued his tough inquisition in class and avoided her outside of
class. On one occasion, she was less than a minute late, and when
he saw her come in, she thought she saw a smile form on his
hard-lined mouth.

But even Alexander was not immune to the stresses of
finals. He was in the library often, Jill noticed. The Saturday
before the week of final exams, she got an email from Alexander,
who sat three tables in front of her in the library facing her.

Red,

Just wanted to wish you luck on the exams. If you
need help, let me know. (This is not a snide remark. I’m being
sincere.)

Love,

Xander

Dear X,

Thanks for the offer. I feel good about the exams.
As good as I could possibly feel. I want to get chosen for the Mock
Trial seminars so badly! I wish you luck too. I’m here to help if
you need me (being sincere, too).

Love,

Jill

Red,

I always need you.

Love,

X

She almost melted. He had a special way of getting
under her skin when she least expected it. There was no way to
answer that email. She couldn’t answer it. What would she possibly
say?

She also received a text from Oliver.

I understand you’re in finals, but I have to talk to
you. I’ve found out something very interesting and very important.
WE HAVE TO TALK SOON.

Jill: Ok. Ok. No need to yell! I promise you’ll have
my full attention by the end of the week.

Oliver: Ok! Good luck on exams, baby.

Thursday was her last exam and she felt
accomplished. The moment Jillian stepped out, she saw Professor
Black leaning against a column in the atrium of the school. He was
unusually casual in dark jeans and a black polo shirt, making him
look younger—more like a student than a professor. His black hair
was slicked back with the end slightly curled up at the nape of his
neck. As soon as he saw her, he pushed off the foot that was
propped on the column and walked towards her.

“You’re done?” He asked.

“Yep. All finished. I hope I did well. Your exam was
tough.”

“I know. So . . . you’re not my student
anymore.”

“I guess I’m not.”

“Now we can go out. I’ll pick you up at 7 p.m.” Just
like that, he turned to walk away, but she grabbed his elbow,
forcing him to turn back around.

“Excuse me?”

“What?” He asked very matter-of-factly.

“You can’t just tell me that I’m going out with you.
That’s very presumptuous of you. I’m not a foregone conclusion.
What if I were busy? What if I weren’t interested?” She crossed her
arms in indignation.

“First of all, were you busy tonight?”

“Well, um . . .”

“That’s a no.” he said. She went to say something,
but he put a finger over her mouth to prompt her to be quiet. He
smelled wonderful, and the finger touching her lips tempted her.
She felt like a Venus Fly Trap—she almost snapped her lips over his
fingers. “Second, I know you’re interested. I see the way you look
at me. It’s the same way I look at you. You’re in no way a foregone
conclusion. I’ve been waiting months for a date. Are you really
going to deprive me of that?” He pouted—actually pouted—and it left
her speechless. He turned and walked away. She was left wondering
if he knew where she lived. What she would wear? What would she
tell Heather or anyone for that matter?

It wasn’t against school policy to date a teacher so
long as the teacher was not your teacher during the time you
dated—she had done her research as soon as she’d laid eyes on
Black. The problem was he still kind of was her teacher. He hadn’t
graded her exam yet, and if she were lucky and got top of the
class, he would resume being her teacher during the mock trial
seminar in the summer. This could become a sticky situation. She
decided to go on the date, as if she really ever had a choice, but
not to mention it to anyone.

Luckily, Heather was on her way out by 5 p.m. to
celebrate the end of the semester with some friends. Jill made a
few excuses about not going along and stayed behind to get ready
for her date.

Since she had no idea where he would be taking her,
she opted for a little black dress. A girl could never go wrong in
a little black dress. She matched it with simple black heels and
straightened her red curly hair until it was perfectly smooth and
straight, and of course, she wore her signature red lipstick. She
thought how much Alexander would have hated her outfit and hair but
how much Oliver would have loved it.
Why the hell am I thinking
about either twin?

At exactly 7 p.m., the black Mercedes Benz pulled
up, and she didn’t wait for him to get out of the car. She locked
her front door and practically ran to his car.

“What’s the rush?”

“I don’t think people should see us together.” She
got in, locked the door, and crouched down on the seat. She even
wore sunglasses.

“You look ridiculous. It’s nighttime. Take off those
stupid glasses. Sit up. Buckle your seatbelt. Why shouldn’t people
see us together, Ms. Stone?” The “Ms. Stone” caught her off guard
and reminded her of the reason she felt nervous.

“Um, well, because—”

“Please. Stop with the ums and wells and the
stuttering.” He was so nasty sometimes that she didn’t really know
how to react to him. He clouded her mind when he acted domineering,
and it was difficult for her to make coherent sentences. “Go on.
You were saying.”

“I was saying,” she cleared her throat and composed
herself, not wanting to seem vapid to the professor, “that going on
a date with you may not be such a good idea. You haven’t even
graded my exam. Technically you’re still my professor, and I want
to be part of your seminar this summer.”

“First, the test is graded electronically. I have
nothing to do with your grade. I won’t even know if you passed my
class. Second, I am coordinating the seminar, but I will not be
teaching. There is a panel of attorneys and judges that will do the
honors. What else is the problem?”

“Um . . . I guess nothing.”

“Good. Let’s go.” He made her feel so nervous and
intimidated, but also intrigued, and dare she say it—aroused.

Surprisingly, they didn’t go to a pretentious café;
instead, they went to a casual seafood restaurant. He opened the
door for her, helped her out of the car, and held her hand. He was
a true gentleman. They sat outside and ate oysters and crabs with
their hands.

“I must look like such mess: eating with my hands
and wearing a bib with butter all over the place.” She giggled.

“The word I was thinking was sexy. You look damn
sexy, Jillian. Every time you savor those buttery fingers...” He
let out a deep growl. She knew, by the heat on her face, she was
blushing. They drank beer, talked about school, his family, and
Alexander and Oliver. He asked a lot of questions about her
family.

“Are your parents still married?”

“They passed away a long time ago.” She gave her
usual boilerplate answer. It usually stopped people from digging
further, but not this time.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” He sounded sincere.
“How did they die?”

“Plane crash.” Technically my mother died in a plane
crash, and my father may be a homicidal killer and may actually
still be alive and trying to find me. But she opted for lying.

“Both of them?” That was a strange question, Jill
thought.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Why did he sound surprised? Almost
accusatory? She lied, but he didn’t know that.

“And you didn’t have any family to raise you? That’s
why you went to boarding school?”

“What’s with all the questions? Paul, I’m a private
person. I don’t really like talking about this, and it’s not a good
first-date topic. It’s kind of a bummer subject, actually.”

“Sorry. I just want to get to know you.”

“You’re so intense, you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned that before.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be what? Less intense?” He
laughed.

“Yes. Chill a little bit.”

“Chill?”

“Yes, chill. Relax. Loosen up.”

He laughed and ordered them another drink. “You look
stunning tonight. Did I tell you that earlier?”

“Thank you, professor. You look quite handsome
yourself.”

After what felt like the inquisition, they had a
great evening. In fact, it was the best first date she’d ever
had.

“I had a great time, Paul,” she said in front of her
door.

“So did I. May I pick you up tomorrow for lunch? I
can’t do dinner because I’m meeting my sister and her kids.”

“Sure. That sounds lovely.” He kissed her cheek and
walked away. When she opened the door, Heather stood on the other
side. Jill nearly tripped over her.

“Ms. Southern Belle, were you spying? That’s not
very ladylike.” Jill laughed.

“Was that who I think it was?”

Jill nodded. “We went on the most perfect date. It
was . . . perfect.”

“I can tell by that ridiculous smile on your face.
Can you date you teacher? I mean, is it allowed?”

“He’s not my teacher anymore, and he says that it’s
fine.”

“He’s one good lookin’ teacher. You should see my
professors; they look like they could be his ugly great-aunt!” They
both laughed. They had a glass of wine and sat and talked.

“Sugar, you have three men pining for you. I mean,
what a great problem to have, but you goin’ to date three men? I
don’t think you have that in you, sweetie.”

“Alexander doesn’t even speak to me anymore. Oliver
knows I can’t date him. It’s just too . . . wrong. So I’m free to
date whomever I choose.”

“So, you’re over the twins?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be over them, but I just
can’t go there. I can’t choose.”

“Well, the professor is a great distraction while
you decide. Bless your heart, honey.” They laughed and talked some
more until they were both too sleepy to keep talking.

Lunch the next day was even better than dinner.
Jillian felt so comfortable with Paul. It was as if he had been
sitting around the corner just waiting for her to finish the
semester. She was surprised how much he knew about her. “Since that
first day in class, I’ve been counting down the days to the end of
the semester. It was a very long semester, sweetheart.”

“Really? I had no idea. You weren’t very nice to
me.”

“I called on you so much because I needed to hear
your voice. You didn’t know that you were driving me crazy?”

“I thought you hated my guts.” She laughed. They
kept eating and talking. It was a perfect second date. At the end
of the date, he walked her to her apartment, gave her a kiss on the
cheek, and said goodbye.

He didn’t call that night. Sunday she woke up with
Paul on her mind. She wanted to pick up the phone and call him but
refrained. Hours passed, and he didn’t call. She replayed the two
dates to see what had gone wrong. Why wasn’t he calling? Then, she
remembered that he had said he was meeting his sister for dinner.
Oliver texted again. He would be a good distraction.

Oliver:
Lunch?

Jill:
When?

Oliver:
Now.

Jill: I’ll come get u.

Oliver:
Ok.

She dressed very casually in jeans and a gray
boat-neck fitted shirt, and went to pick him up. She noticed the
yellow VW parked by the building again. Her surge of jealousy was
overshadowed by thoughts of Paul. Professor Paul Black. She
sighed.