She snorts, then gazes at the girls. “In the back,” she orders.
I catch Marisela by the arm. “I’m right behind you, darlin’. You don’t have to give them any information. Understand?”
She nods and walks away.
I sit down at a table in the dressing room while Ana examines each dancer’s identification. When she gets to Marisela, she starts questioning her about her motorcycle endorsement.
“Did you complete an MSB-8 course approved by the Motorcycle Safety Foundation?”
I’m getting pissed. I stand. “Come on, Ana. She’s new. This is her first night.”
Ana stares at her, then nods. “All right.” She gives Marisela her license back. “You can go.”
I sigh. Marisela mouths
thank you
as she walks by. She leaves the dressing room.
A minute later, Ana hands me her business card. “My cell number is on the back.”
I grin. Another one. Thank God Marisela isn’t here to see this. “Not married yet?”
“Engaged,” she replies. “But that never stopped us before.”
“You were single during academy,” I remind her. I don’t want to think about it.
“I wasn’t.”
“What?” That’s news to me.
“Separated.” She runs her fingers through her bobbed hair. “After he found out about
us
, we divorced.”
I fight the urge to look away. Rule number one: never come between married couples. Never. She lied. Rule two: if a woman isn’t honest—run. “I don’t mean to be rude, Officer Bullock, but I need to get back out on the floor.” I drop her card on the nearest table and walk away.
Someday my past is going to bite me in the ass.
Hell,
it’s going to swallow me. That was a close one. I spot Marisela by the DJ booth. She looks rattled. She’s had an eventful first night. I join her.
“Okay, baby?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You were a cop?”
I stare at the floor. “Yes.”
“What happened?”
I feel the icy fingers of my past slowly strangling the life out of me. I look her directly in the eyes. “Three years ago I submitted my resignation after getting busted for having sex while I was on duty.”
“With who?”
“A girl I met on a domestic abuse call.” I swallow, waiting for her to punch me in the face or scream.
Instead, she laughs nervously. Then she levels her gaze at me. “That’s extremely disappointing.” She walks away.
Strike two, asshole,
I say to myself. I’m starting to think I’ll never get another chance with her.
It’s Saturday morning. I survived my first week at the Devil’s Den. I made $1,800 in three shifts and managed to avoid Craig as much as possible. Even the girls backed off after they heard how I blew him off. I’m sure Macey had something to do with it, too. She’s a force to be reckoned with in that place. I pad downstairs, hoping to make a cup of tea before Robyn and Garrick get up. I jump when Robyn surprises me in the hallway.
“Grab a quick bite,” she says. “We’re driving to Odem.”
“No. I’m. Not.”
“Yes, you are.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
I’ve managed to evade a phone call until now. What makes her think I’m ready to see our parents in person? “I’m truly sorry, Robyn. I know you’re a peacemaker. And I love you for it. I do. Trust me when I say there’s nothing constructive or positive for me to share with Mom or Dad right now. I’ll let you know when it feels right.”
“I already called them.”
I watch her fidget with the buttons on her pink cardigan. “Good,” I say. “You saved me the trouble.” I open the cabinet next to the sink and rifle through several different flavors of herbal tea. “Don’t you have anything with caffeine?”
“God, you’re good at avoiding the subject.” She nudges me out of the way, reaches inside, and pulls out a box of Earl Grey. She drops the package on the counter. “They know you’re back. You owe them that much. Mom paid your tuition and room and board for a year, Marisela. And the car and guitar…What about the private music lessons? And the gym membership? And…”
I sigh. I don’t need her to keep inventory of what my mother paid for. If I had enough money right now I’d write them a check. I don’t like being beholden to anyone. “I told you two years ago I didn’t want to go into the pre-med program. I hate Biology—I hate Baylor. It’s a snob fest up there. I’d have settled for a program out of state if I could. Hell, Del Mar College if they had a four-year music program.”
Robyn hands me a clean mug from the dishwasher. “Then why did you ever consider coming back here? Wouldn’t it have been easier to transfer to the school of your choice
while
you were still enrolled at Baylor? What’s your standing GPA?”
Frustrated, I wave my hands. “It’s meaningless at this point. But if you must know, 3.86.”
She smiles. “Marisela—you’re so smart. Brilliant. Don’t you see where you’re headed if you don’t go back to school?”
“I’m no worse off then you were.”
“Garrick is the only reason I finished. Without his support, I’d still be a part-time student working at the club.” She watches me for a few moments. I stir sugar and milk into my tea. “You need Mom and Dad’s financial support.”
“No,” I say. “Give me a chance to work things out on my own.”
“Like you are with Estevan and Craig?”
It’s over with both of them, and I haven’t heard from Estevan in days. Robyn doesn’t know my ex is in town. I’m not sure what Garrick would do if he found out. I’m starting to think the wisest thing is getting my own place. Maybe an apartment, or if one of the dancers needs a roommate…I’ll call Macey. “I have some errands to run, sis.” I kiss her cheek, suck down the remainder of my tea, rinse the cup, set it in the sink, then run upstairs.
I dial Macey. She picks up on the second ring. She’s excited. “A party?” I ask. Macey won’t let me get a word in edgewise. “Where?” North Beach? That place is a hellhole. “The Radisson Hotel? Rooms 2201 and 2203? Five o’clock?” She confirms and hangs up.
My plans have suddenly changed. I’m not sure what to expect. Maybe a bonfire, barbeque, and hot guys. I need a diversion. I want a new boyfriend, someone I share common interests with. Maybe a guy who rides a motorcycle and plays guitar. I’ll wear one of my new outfits, skinny jeans and a backless leather halter top.
I’m on the road by four thirty. North Beach is located on the north side of the city, over the Harbor Bridge. The weather is perfect—bright sunshine, little wind—and the traffic is light. I arrive at the hotel within twenty minutes and park. I enter the building through a side entrance, walk into the lobby, and take the elevator to the second floor. It’s a clean hotel. I admire the gold-framed photographs lining the walls—a collection of native bird species. I find room 2201 and knock. There’s loud music coming from inside. Macey answers with a can of Budweiser in her hand.
“Girlfriend!” She grabs ahold of my leather jacket and yanks me inside. “So glad you made it.”
I give her a bear hug. “Thanks for getting me out of the house. Robyn is driving me crazy.”
She grins. “That’s because she wants you to make all the right choices.”
“I know.” I can’t disapprove of my sister’s affection or concern, but I can try to escape it once in a while. I scan the suite. There are ten people in the living room. “Introduce me?”
“Of course.” She takes me by the hand. We stop in front of one of the most enormous men I’ve ever seen—built like an NFL player. “Marisela, this is my boyfriend, Wesley.”
He stands and offers his hand. He’s even taller than Craig. I shake his hand gently. “Robyn’s little sister?” he asks.
“Yes.” I’ll never escape that label. “What gave it away?” I smile.
“Your brother-in-law is my best friend.” He gives me a sappy grin. It’s a small world—proof of that two-degrees-of-separation theory. “If you have any problems tonight, darlin’, find me.”
He’s nice—just like most Texas boys. I envisioned someone completely different as Macey’s boyfriend, not a jock. We have similar taste. “Not bad,” I say to her as we walk toward the wet bar where two guys are standing.
She giggles. “Yeah, remind me to tell you the story of how we met sometime. This is Robert and Justin.”
They both smile.
“Want a drink?” Justin asks.
“Sure,” I say. My limit is two for the night. Better to indulge early and have my second in a couple of hours. “Any wine coolers?”
Justin opens the fridge, then looks inside. “Blue Hawaiian or Fuzzy Navel?”
“Hawaiian.”
“Here.” He opens it and then hands it to me.
“Thanks.” He’s cute. Maybe twenty-five, with short blond hair and blue eyes. He’s built like a surfer—broad-shouldered.
“Ready, girl?” Macey distracts me.
“Where we going?”
“I thought we could take a short walk on the beach together before the real party starts.”
I like that idea. I follow her out of the room. “Everything okay?”
“Sure.” She places my hand in the crook of her arm. “I invited a few guys tonight with you in mind.” She looks delighted. “Only one way to solve that little Craig problem. Are you over him yet?”
It’s easier to confide in Macey than my sister. We walk down one flight of stairs to the lobby and exit through the front doors. “Not really,” I confess.
“Aww.” She looks positively miserable. “A lot of people from the club are coming tonight. Wouldn’t be surprised if Craig shows up. He’s always on the prowl. Desire might be here, too. Have a problem with that?”
I shake my head. “We worked together Friday night. She said hello in the dressing room. She’s not my favorite person, but I think we have a silent understanding about what she did. As long as it doesn’t happen again, I’m cool with it.”
She slants her head. “As diplomatic as your big sister,” she remarks. “Must be in the genes.”
“Not my mother’s,” I laugh.
“How’s that going?”
“Robyn called her today. She wanted me to drive to Odem with her. I can’t face my parents, not yet. That’s why I called you. Know anybody who needs a roommate?” I raise my face to the sun, breathing in the fresh air.
When I look back at Macey, she’s chewing on her bottom lip. I look at her quizzically.
“I’m hesitant to say this. But what the hell…you’re safer with me. I’m looking for a roommate. The rent is expensive, though.”
I’m psyched. After visiting Macey’s Ocean Drive mansion the other day, I dreamed of living in a place like that. “How much?” I’m almost afraid to ask.
“A thousand dollars a month.”
Ouch.
Well, if I keep a tight schedule at work and don’t go crazy with spending…“Do I have to sign a lease?”
“Nope,” she says. “Your word is good enough for me.”
We’re near the water now. I take my boots and socks off, cuff my pants, and let a wave rush over my feet. It’s warm. Pleasant. I missed the beach so much while I was in Austin. I missed it growing up in Odem, too. The more I see it, the more I feel I made the right choice coming back. Now if I can only figure out the guy thing. My cell rings. I take it out of my pocket. Estevan. I frown, then look at Macey. She knows. I’m sure Robyn told her everything.
“Which asshole?” she asks.
“The ex.”
“Oh, give me that phone!” She swipes it out of my hand before I can protest. She answers. “What do you want, asshole? No, Marisela isn’t available, but
I
am. Wanna carve my heart out and feed me to the dogs too? No? Really? I’m sure she doesn’t miss your tiny, shriveled excuse for a joystick. She’s a whore? Care to come over here and say that to my face? Anytime, sweetheart. You’re in town?” Macey throws me a stunned look. “The Radisson on North Beach—find me. My name? Ask for Macey.” She hangs up.
I’m close to puking. I can’t believe her.
Oh. My. God.
“Macey.”
She hands me my phone. “Look,” she says, holding my quivering hands in hers. “Robyn filled me in on everything. And now he’s here. Don’t care how long. You don’t have to say a word, baby girl. I’m deeply sorry about what happened to you.”
I turn away. I’ve never admitted it to anyone. I figure if I don’t, it never happened. But my sister reads me too well, evidenced by her best friend’s candid statement. The only person I ever had sex with before Craig was Estevan, and he assaulted me the first time. I’m rigid. Tears sting my eyes.
Shoot me now and put me out of my misery.
“You shouldn’t tempt him. He’ll come, believe me.”
She curls a finger under my chin and forces me to look at her. “I
want
him to. Wesley will kill him. He has a hit list. And Estevan Beltran is on the top of it.”
“I can’t believe your boyfriend knows, too.”
“Don’t ever be ashamed for being a victim, Marisela. Learn to rely on others for strength while you recover. And when you’re healed—return the favor someday.”
She speaks with such conviction. “Were you raped?”
She nods—a haunted look clouds her eyes momentarily. “Eight years ago.”
“How…”
“Time. Only time helps. Come on, let’s check on the bonfire.” She drags me away from the water.
“Wait,” I yell. “My shoes.” I scoop them up and run after her, feeling a bit happier for the first time in days.
Time to join the living again. Whether I have a chance with Marisela Gonzalez or not, I’m still a man. And moping around my house or at the club isn’t going to change a damned thing. She’s determined to forget me. In time, maybe I’ll forget her, too. I laugh bitterly. Neither one of us is capable of ignoring the other night. I grit my teeth, willing her to come back to me. Maybe I should text her. One more night in my bed and I’ll convince her of where she belongs. I’m pissed that I have feelings for her—real feelings, uncontrollable ones. She knows it; that’s why she’s hiding.
There’s a party at North Beach tonight. It’s ten o’clock, and I’m almost at the Radisson. I find a parking spot on the street a block away from the beach. I hear music thumping, screaming, and drunken laughter. I get out of my car and set the alarm. It’s humid. I’m in shorts and a black tank top. I walk briskly down the street. I hit sand and trudge past the Radisson cabana, which is strung with blue and red Christmas lights. There’s a DJ set up in there. Half a dozen picnic tables are occupied by people in swimwear. I recognize a few girls from the club and wave.
The bonfire is a hundred yards up the beach. It illuminates the cloudy sky. There are probably a hundred people drinking and dancing. A few guys are playing tackle football. I walk around the far side of the fire. Dozens of pieces of driftwood have been set up to sit on. I see Wesley and Macey.
“Hey.” I bump fists with Wesley.
“What’s going on, Craig?” Macey sounds wasted. She takes a swig from a bottle of Captain Morgan and offers it to me.
I take a long swallow. Then I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and hand it back to her. “Didn’t expect so many people.”
“Yeah, well…” she stammers. “Word gets around. There’s some roasted hog and corn on the cob over there.” She points to a smaller fire pit a few yards away.
I’m hungry. “I’ll check it out. Be back.” I casually scour the area as I walk. I laugh at a couple of guys wrestling in the sand—dumb-asses. I pass by couples making out. And then stop dead in my tracks. I blink.
What. The. Fuck.
Marisela is sitting on a lawn chair next to some guy, holding his hand. Bile burns the back of my throat. Instant rage.
Not happening.
I stalk over.
“Marisela.”
Her head jerks up. Her mouth opens and she drops the asshole’s hand. “Craig?”
I see red, fucking flames. “Get. Up. Now. Marisela.” Instead, the guy rises, ready to challenge me. “You get one warning,” I growl at him. “Sit down or I’ll do it for you.”
His eyes narrow, but he wisely heeds my advice. “Marisela?” He gazes at her.
“Forget it, Justin.” She waves her hand dismissively at me.
“I’m not playing, baby.” If she doesn’t get up by the count of three, I’m gonna throw her over my shoulder. “Now.”
She huffs. I can tell she’s been drinking. She climbs out of her seat and pierces me with the deadliest look I’ve ever seen. She staggers over. “You’re a fucking barbarian.”
I lean in. “Yeah—want to show
Justin
how much you like it?”
She holds a finger to her mouth. “Shhh.”
My patience spent, I take hold of her arm and drag her away. Far away. Out of sight. We’re face-to-face. “What the hell are you doing here with another guy?”
“The same thing you’re
always
doing with other women. Looking for meaningless sex.”
I count under my breath, hoping to maintain control.
One. Two. Three.
I swallow, hard. “Quit screwing with me, little girl.”