Seduce Me All Over (Seduce #3) (3 page)

I woke early after a somewhat restless night of sleep. I had slept better than the night before, but still not my usual night's rest. I went to the bathroom to check my look in the mirror.
Not that bad
, I thought as I checked for puffiness under my eyes. A little makeup and I'd be okay.

I knew I couldn't get away with it for long, though. I would have to start sleeping better. Baggy eyes and zombie-walking through the day was not far behind if I didn't get my requested amount of beauty rest.

I decided to check if Chelsea was home was yet. I knew she had spent the night at Wes's apartment, but we had made plans for Sunday brunch at a little cafe around the corner from our apartment. I walked through the apartment and I was still alone. I didn't think she'd rush back this early, but I was already a little hungry and hoped we could catch brunch on the earlier side.

I put on a pot of coffee and then headed back toward my room to shower and get dressed. My cell phone was vibrating as I walked into my bedroom. I picked it up from my bedside table. It was Brandon.

I thought about whether I should answer. At some point I needed to make it clear that I intended on keeping my job. In the beginning we had agreed to keep our personal and professional lives as separate as possible. Friday night I wasn't sure if that was possible. After some thought on Saturday, I realized that we had to stick to the agreement.

By all accounts I was doing a great job. I loved the working world I found myself in and the salary was phenomenal. I also didn't have much of an option. I needed to keep that salary.

My dad was getting interviews, but my family still needed my financial help. I was the only thing standing in the way of them losing their house, insurance, and my sister not being able to attend college. Leaving my job at
Jacqueline
was not an option.

I stared at Brandon's name on my phone. I had removed his picture. That made it a little easier.

Despite Chelsea's urging, I couldn't just delete him off my phone. Or out of my life. Not completely. I did still work for him.

I waited until the third ring. One more and he'll go to voice mail I decided that was my best play. Let him either leave a message or hang up. I needed more time.

More time to decide exactly what I wanted to say to him. I knew that I wanted to go short and sweet. Well, short anyway. I hadn't decided on sweet yet.

“Son of a bitch!” I blurted out.

He screwed around. Yet he still had a hold on me. I had cared for him deeply. I couldn't just shut that off completely. Not in a little more than a day.

How long would it take? One month? Two months? Longer? Every day it would probably get easier to let go and move on.

I thought sleeping with Jeremy would help begin that process. It did and it didn't. The sex was pretty good. I enjoyed it. More or less.

I briefly forgot about Brandon, until I called out his name during my sexual release. I was disciplined the second round with Jeremy. But it took more than I thought to focus on him doing the deed.

My voice mail dinged with a new message. Okay, he decided to leave a message. Not now. I put my phone down and headed to the bathroom. I stopped. I went back and picked up the phone.

I hit the message to listen: “Ashley, I can't say sorry enough times. For the rest of my life . . .” I hit the stop button and put the phone back down.
No. I'm not ready yet
. I looked at the phone sitting on my table.
Nope. Taking my shower.

I went into the bathroom and started the water. I stripped and got in. A hot shower always felt so good. I let the water run over me.

My mind flashed to the morning after Brandon and I first slept together. The morning in the shower at
Lusso
. I tried to push the memory out of my head. I couldn’t because Brandon's naked body was beckoning me.

I scrubbed with soap as if I could wash the thought away. It wasn't working. I realized I was no longer washing. I was touching my sex.

I jerked my hand away.
No! You're not doing this!,
I told myself. Masturbation was perfectly natural. It wasn't something I had done often, but it's not like I had never done it. But I refused to give in to a sexual fantasy about Brandon.

What the hell is wrong? I just had sex last night. While not mind-blowing sex, I did have an orgasm. The first time any way.
Shit! I was fantasizing about Brandon the first time.

Poor, Jeremy.
Thank goodness we did it a second time. I had to fake it, but he didn't know that. He was happy when he left last night. Dammit
!
Beyond faking it, I actually had to concentrate on the fact that it was Jeremy doing the deed.

I remembered that I had kept my eyes open and was looking directly at Jeremy that second time we had sex. It was the only way to keep focused on him. I had closed my eyes one time and Brandon was there.

In that moment when I closed my eyes, it was Brandon fucking me. If I hadn't forced my eyes open, we would have had a repeat of the first go around. I knew it in bed with Jeremy. I knew it in the shower alone.

There was no denying how much I still craved Brandon's touch. Despite his cheating. Despite his lies. Despite my heart being broken. Despite all of that,
I knew in that moment that I still desperately needed him.
Go ahead, seduce me.
 

The steam from the shower warmed my face and reminded me of Brandon's hot breath. The memory of his lips on mine and against the softness of my skin sent a jolt of excitement coursing through my body. My mind formed a fantasy of him coming to my room and making everything right. I could picture him getting into the shower with me and pressing his solid, naked body against mine.

I was rubbing my hands over my supple breasts and circling my nipples, hardened and  excited by this fantasy. An image of Brandon's own excitement flashed in my head. How he could be pleasuring me now. I threw myself against the back wall of the shower as my hand moved down to my crotch.   

Trembling with excitement and anticipation, I worked my finger into position and began pushing my little joy button. I imagined Brandon's hot, passionate kisses on my neck as he worked his magic below the waist with one hand and fondled my breasts with the other. I let out a series of moans as I methodically rubbed the swelling of my arousal.

I imagined Brandon's huge cock pressing deep inside of me as I fingered my wet pussy. I let out another series of moans. Lost and uninhibited within my fantasy, I was bringing myself over the edge as my body quaked with scintillating tremors. In my mind Brandon was orchestrating his crescendo of pelvic movements that were leaving me dizzy. Inflamed from my fantasy-driven arousal, I worked my finger harder as steam from the shower encircled me and hot water washed over my sweet excretions.

I imagined Brandon withdrawing from me as I stood catching my breath. Opening my eyes I came back to reality. I had satisfied a basic need within myself. But I was unfulfilled. I still longed for the fulfillment and release that I was convinced only Brandon could provide.

Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and began drying myself off. Standing there, I couldn't help but wonder if this was how it was going to be or if I was just overreacting. I could hear my mother's voice inside my head saying, “Ashley, don't get so hysterical.” Admitting that I could have that tendency was of little consolation.

I toweled off and got dressed. I picked up my phone and listened to the rest of Brandon's message. I played it back two more times. I took a deep breath and touched 'dial' on my screen. I anxiously waited as the phone rang.

My heart raced faster as Brandon answered.

“Ashley, I'm glad you called . . .”

“Brandon, wait,” I interjected. I had worked up my nerve to call him back. I needed to
say what I needed to say and get off the phone. My episode in the shower proved to me that I still ached for Brandon.

Maybe what I needed was more time. Maybe we needed more time to arrive at a place where we could work something out. I wanted to be firm in not giving in to my desire for him. At the same time, I needed to leave the door open to the possibility of reconciliation 

“This isn't going to be a conversation,” I continued. “I need you to know that my calling doesn't change anything right now.”

“Ashley can we . . .” 

“I'm not finished. When I say what I need to say I am hanging up. Understood?” I said.

“Yes,” he replied. Brandon was not used to being in the position he found himself in. I think, however, he realized he had no choice but to accept my terms of the phone call. It was the first response he had received from me since I left him Friday night.

I took a quick breath to steady my voice. Then I continued.

“I expect you to honor our agreement that our personal relationship and professional relationship were separate. I have no intention of leaving my job at
Jacqueline
. Unless you have a good reason to fire me, I will be in the office Tuesday morning. Unless I say otherwise, please refrain from contacting me for anything other than business. That is all I wanted to tell you. I'm hanging up.” I hit 'end call' and put my phone down.

I sat on my bed and took a deep breath. My hands were shaking. But I had done it. I said what I need to say to him. My text message tone chirped.

I glanced down at the screen.

Brandon: Meet me in my office Tue 8:30 am. Brief business matter to discuss.

“He has got to be kidding.” I said aloud. I figured I didn't have a reason to say no.

Me: Fine. See you Tue 8:30 am
.

I didn't believe for one second that it was just a business matter. I only hoped that I could keep my longing for him in check. It would be easy to give in to temptation. I hated that I knew that to be true.

“Ashley, you home?” I heard Chelsea call from the living room.

“Be right there,” I answered. I put my phone down and headed to the living room.

Chelsea was still in her dress from the night before. More accurately, she had to put it back on after spending the night at Wes's. Chelsea had taken the 'walk of shame' so many times that I had lost count.

“So, how did it go last night?” she asked.

“It was okay,” I said. “Want some coffee?”

“What? That's all your going to tell me?”

“First, I want a cup of coffee. Next, I want us to leave for brunch. After we order, I may share a little more with you.”

“Alright. But if you are making me wait, it better be good.”

“It is what it is. You'll have to decide whether it is good or not.”

“You are such a tease,” Chelsea said. “Let me shower and change, then we can go.”

I was able to finish my cup of coffee while Chelsea got ready. She actually made record time showering and getting dressed. I knew she was anxious to hear about my night with Jeremy. I had been trying to decide how to approach the conversation. Chelsea was going to flip out over the fact that Brandon still consumed so many of my thoughts.

I needed to be selective. Leave out what I had done in the shower. Lead with my phone call to Brandon. Only mention how firm I was with him. I hoped she wouldn't probe any further. I also knew better than that.

“Okay, ready to go,” Chelsea announced as she returned to the living room.

Chelsea tried to pry details out of me as we walked the half block to the cafe. I would have no part of it and kept her waiting. I diverted the conversation to her night with Wes. She was chomping at the bit to hear about my night, but settled for telling me about hers until after we placed our order with the waiter.

It pleased me that Chelsea liked Wes. She was clearly happy with him and it seemed they were laying the foundation for a serious relationship. Chelsea deserved a loving partner.

For as many guys as Chelsea had slept with, she had always been looking for the right guy. Maybe she found him in Wes. I hoped so.

“Okay, Ash. We've ordered. Spill the beans,” she said the second the waiter had left our table.

I had never lied to Chelsea. I never would. But I reminded myself that I needed to frame what I said carefully. She could read me like a book. I didn't want all my chapters read over brunch.

“I'm starting with this morning and working backwards. However, there is a method to my madness,” I started.

“Ooh, is it juicy? Maybe some morning sex?”

“No. Nothing like that. Jeremy didn't even stay over last night.”

“Bummer. I hope your story is going to get more interesting,” said Chelsea as she poured cream into her coffee.

“Will you let me tell it my way, please,” I said passing her a packet of Stevia that I knew she would ask for in about two seconds.

“Thanks,” she said acknowledging the packet of sweetener.

“You're welcome. Now, promise me you will not interrupt,” I said.

“I promise,” said Chelsea raising her right hand.

“Good. I spoke with Brandon . . .”

“What?!” Chelsea interjected.

“What part of not interrupting do you need explained to you,” I retorted.

Chelsea held up her hands in surrender.

“He called and left me a message. Very apologetic. He seemed sincere in wanting to own what he did,” I explained.

I could tell from Chelsea's body language that she did not like the words that had come out of my mouth.

“Relax, Chels. I called him back . . .”

I thought Chelsea was going to reach over the table and strangle me. At some point we would probably need to address her level in trust for how I handle situations. I ignored her flaring nostrils and continued to tell her what I had said to Brandon on the phone. She seemed satisfied.

“Ash, I'm sorry. I was so caught up in how what he did impacted you personally, I didn't even think about what that could have meant for your career.”

“That's okay, Chels. I only really considered it yesterday. I'm good with the decision I made. I'll need to see how it plays out,” I replied.

So far Chelsea didn't seem to have any follow-up questions. If that continued, I could probably avoid discussing my continued longing for Brandon. I wasn't ready for that conversation with Chelsea. She wasn't either.

“So, did you start with that as a good lead in to what happened with Jeremy?” she asked excitedly.

“Not exactly. But it wasn't a bust, either,” I said.

Our food arrived and after I took my first few bites, I continued. “Jeremy and I did have sex. I have now officially had a one-night stand.”

“Good for you. I know it only happened because you already knew him, but I'm glad you went through with it. So, how was it? I'm assuming that your call to Brandon indicates that Jeremy was a step toward moving on?”

Two follow-up questions. I took a bite of my omelet to give me time to work out an honest answer that didn't require telling her everything. Wait. Hadn't she once told me never to ask a question you don't already know the answer to. I'm sure that has been honed in her classes at law school.

She couldn't possibly know. I stalled by taking a big bite of my omelet. I would follow it with a healthy drink of orange juice to wash it down.

I played a version of the Kevin Bacon game. Jeremy is friends with Rick from their time together at the University of Texas. Rick and Wes are friends from Columbia Law School. Wes is dating Chelsea. As far as I knew, Chelsea was not directly friends with Rick. I calculated that it was: Jeremy to Rick, Rick to Wes, Wes to Chelsea.

An unlikely chain of information from 1:00 AM this morning, when Jeremy left our apartment, to when Chelsea got home several hours later. Possible. Not probable. I then thought of the most convincing, and obvious, reason that Chelsea wouldn't know. I doubted that Jeremy would share that type of embarrassment.
Duh! Should have started with that.

“The sex was pretty good.” Vague, but true. “I can't say it helped all that much, but it didn't hurt.” A true statement.

“That's it?” Chelsea sounded disappointed.

“Yep,” I said taking another bit of my omelet. End of discussion. I hoped.

“Ashley Sullivan, there is something you are not telling me,” Chelsea said leaning forward.

Am I really that transparent? Or does Chelsea just know me that well? Another bite. Another sip of orange juice.

“I know we are best friends. Sisters from another mother, really. But do you really need all the details?”

“Well, no. But I was expecting more than what you gave me.”

“We made out like horny teenagers during the cab ride home. He is still a great kisser. We had our hands all over each other in the hallway outside of our apartment. He likes to talk dirty. We had sex. He went home.” All true statements.

“You don't need to get all snarky,” she replied.

“Chels, breaking up with Brandon is still raw. I'm still wrapping my head around putting 'ex' and 'former' in front of boyfriend and lover. I let loose last night and did something I had never done before. I was resolved in stating my position to Brandon. All-in-all, I would say that is progress. It's the best I can give you right now.”

“You're right,” said Chelsea. “You are absolutely correct. I'm proud of you, Ash.”

“Thanks, Chels. I wouldn't have even entertained last night without you. It was definitely better than crying on the couch and downing a carton of ice cream by myself.”

“You know I push because I luv ya,” said Chelsea as she rested her hand on my forearm.

“Yes, I know. Luv ya back.”

Phew. End of discussion. I knew there would be a time and place for the rest. Just not then.