Secrets of the Heart (29 page)

“I’m doing the best I can for Meggie, Peter. I know you would like Tom if you met him. He’ll never take your place in my heart, but it seems a new place is being created for him. If I could hear you speak, I have no doubt you would say, ‘Kathleen, I want you to be happy. Find that happiness with Tom if you can.’”

A similar monologue was going on at the Harned household. As Tom lay sleepless, he began to voice his thoughts aloud to the only person he needed to tell them to.

“Loretta, you know I’ve missed you something terrible. It’s like a great jagged hole was torn in my heart the day you went away. Please understand that I’ll never forget you. How could I? I see you every time I look at our son. Kathleen is a wonderful woman, Loretta, and she’s so good for Caleb, as well as for me.

“I’m so lonely, and it’s so difficult to be both mother and father to Caleb. I can’t cook nutritious meals for us. I’ve kept the house neat and in order, but it needs more than that to be a home. Our clothes are clean, but my ironing skills leave a lot to be desired. At the end of a hard day at the mine, I’m just too tired to give much attention to cooking, cleaning, or even to Caleb.

“I’ll always love you, my sweet Loretta, but I know you understand not only my need, but Caleb’s as well.”

When Tom had finished his quiet talk with Loretta, a peace stole over him as though she had given him her blessing to marry Kathleen and to have a happy and full life without her.

Over the next several days, Tom carefully observed Caleb with Kathleen. The boy seemed perfectly at ease in her presence. She had been a tremendous help to him with his schoolwork, for which Tom was grateful.

Sometimes when Tom and Caleb spent time with Kathleen in her hotel room, he would watch the two play games, or listen as she read stories to Caleb from books she had bought. Most of the time Kathleen and Caleb just chatted about the events at school that day.

Tom could see a genuine love shining in Kathleen’s eyes for his son, and Caleb, needing a mother’s touch and care, responded warmly to her.

One day in late October, Kathleen could stand it no longer. She took the chance that a return letter sent to the hotel would only be seen by the desk clerk, and wrote to Hennie. In the letter, she simply asked that Hennie go by the Stallworth mansion and try to see Meggie when she came outside with her nanny. Kathleen needed to know if Meggie was all right.

On a cold night a few days later, after spending the evening alone together, Tom and Kathleen were sitting in the hotel lobby by the fireplace. Tom held her hand as they talked about Caleb for a while. When a small silence settled between them, Tom said in a low tone, “Kathleen, with every passing day I fall more in love with you.”

She smiled. “Its the same with me.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes. I’m in love with you, Tom, and I want to become your wife.”

“Whoopee!”

The night clerk and two hotel guests at the front desk stared at the couple sitting by the fireplace.

Tom glanced around as if searching for someone to share the good news. When he saw their startled faces, he said, “Hey, folks! I just got engaged! I’m going to marry the most wonderful and beautiful woman in the world!”

The guests smiled and nodded, and the clerk said, “Congratulations, Mr. Harned! And you, too, Miss O’Malley!”

Before Tom left the lobby, he and Kathleen had set the date for their wedding. They would marry on December 6.

When Kathleen asked Tom if he wanted Pastor Humbert to perform the ceremony, Tom said it might be best if they simply went to the town’s justice of the peace. If they had Humbert do the ceremony, he might put pressure on them to attend church services. Tom didn’t want any “preacher pressure.”

Tom and Kathleen had not discussed religion at all. She was relieved to know that he felt the same way she did.

Later that evening, Tom was helping Caleb get ready for bed. The boy talked nonstop about what he and Kathleen had done that day after school.

“Son,” Tom said, interrupting Caleb’s chatter, “can we have a man-to-man talk?”

“Sure, Dad. About what?”

Tom dropped to one knee to be on Caleb’s eye level. “You’re my son, Caleb, and I love you with all my heart. I need you to be honest with me.”

“Sure, Dad.” Caleb looked at his father steadily, his eyes big and round with curiosity.

“Son, are you ready to let Kathleen become your new mother?”

Tom felt a tiny tremble go through the boy.

“You mean am I ready for you to marry her and she will come and live here with us?”

“Yes.”

Caleb’s chin dipped for a moment. Then he drew in a deep breath, raised his head to look into his father’s eyes, and said, “My
own mommy was the very best, Dad. But…but since she can’t ever come back, the pretty lady who loves me so much is next best.”

Tom smiled. “Well, tonight Kathleen and I set a date for our wedding. Its not that far away—December 6 to be exact.”

“December 6! She’ll almost be our Christmas present, won’t she?”

Tom chuckled. “Yes, my boy. Almost.”

Caleb jumped into bed, and Tom tucked him in, telling him he loved him, then blew out the lantern.

When Toms hand touched the doorknob, Caleb said, “Dad…”

“Yes, son?”

“I suppose I should ask her now whether she wants me to call her Mom or Ma.”

“I’d say that would be a good idea.”

There was snow on the ground the next day, and the air was quite cold. Kathleen waited inside Tom’s house for Caleb to arrive home from school. She had built a fire in the parlor fireplace and had it toasty warm. When Caleb came inside, Kathleen was waiting for him.

“Well, how’d it go at school today, Mr. Harned?”

“It went real good, ma’am,” he said, smiling. “Since you started helping me, I’m doing a whole lot better!”

“That’s good. Ah…did your father tell you about what happened last night?” Kathleen slipped the stocking cap from his head and smoothed his blond hair.

“Uh-huh. And I’m real glad.”

Kathleen knelt down to look him in the eye. “Really?”

“Really! I’m glad you’re gonna be my
real new
mother.”

Kathleen hugged him. “I’m glad too, Caleb. We’re going to be a very happy family.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his eyes sparkling. “Uh…ma’am?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I…well, since you’re gonna be my real new mother soon, I
would like to call you Mom or Ma—whichever you like best.”

“Well, I like Mom the best of the two.”

Caleb wrapped his arms around her neck and said, “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, Caleb.”

H
ENNIE
O’B
ANION’S LETTER ARRIVED
at the Silver Plume Hotel on December 5. It was delivered to Kathleen’s room by Donna Mitchell. As soon as Donna left, Kathleen tore open the envelope and quickly read the letter.

Hennie explained that she had gone to the Stallworth mansion often, but it had taken her this long to send word because the nanny wasn’t taking Meggie outside while the weather remained so cold. However, when it warmed up some, Hennie had caught a glimpse of the child with the nanny, playing in the snow. Meggie was just fine, and she looked good.

Kathleen immediately sat down and wrote Hennie again, thanking her, and explaining that she would be getting married the next day. She hoped to see Hennie when she came to Chicago to get Meggie sometime soon.

That evening, as Kathleen and the Harneds ate supper at the Silver Plume Restaurant, Caleb gobbled his meal, noting that the adults were just picking at their food.

“How come you aren’t eating?” he asked.

Tom and Kathleen exchanged glances, then Tom said, “It isn’t every day that we get married. Tomorrow is our wedding day, and we’re both a little nervous.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not nervous, and I’m about to become a real new son to Mom.”

“I’m glad you’re not nervous, Caleb,” said Kathleen. “It’s good to see you enjoying your food.”

When supper was over, Tom and Caleb walked Kathleen to her room.

“Okay, son,” Tom said, “you get to hug her first.”

Caleb squeezed Kathleen’s neck as they embraced. “I love you, Mom,” he said, “and I’m really glad you’re gonna be my real new mom tomorrow.”

Kathleen kissed his cheek. “I am too, honey.”

“Tell you what, son,” Tom said, “how about you go down and wait for me by the fireplace?”

Caleb grinned. “How come?”

“Never mind how come,” Tom said, giving him a mock scowl. “Just get your little self down there.”

Caleb’s smile took on an impish look as he said, “I know why you don’t want me here, Dad. ‘Cause you’re gonna kiss her good-night on the mouth, and you don’t want me to watch.”

Tom chuckled. “Smart little dude, aren’t you? Now git!”

Caleb skipped along the hall to the top of the stairs, then looked back. Both adults were watching him.

“Git!” Tom said again.

Caleb laughed and disappeared down the stairs.

Tom folded Kathleen in his arms, kissing her soundly. When he lifted his mouth from hers, he said, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” she responded in a whisper.

“I’m excited about tomorrow.”

“Me, too.”

“Since I’m taking the day off, I’ll be here to check you out of the hotel at noon, and carry your things down to the buggy. We’ll take them to the house and I’ll go pick Caleb up at school. We’ll need to leave the house at 3:45 to be at Judge Olson’s house on time.”

“Sounds good to me,” Kathleen said.

“I assume the new dress we bought fits you all right.”

“Perfectly.”

“Good. See you tomorrow.”

Tom kissed her tenderly, then moved down the hall. When he reached the top of the stairs, he turned and waved.

She blew him a kiss.

Kathleen stepped inside the room, closed the door and locked it, and pressed her back against it. She took a deep breath and said, “Tom, you told Caleb we didn’t eat much because we’re a
little
nervous. Well, I’m a
bundle
of nerves!”

As Tom and Caleb headed down the street toward home the boy said, “You did it, didn’t you, Dad?”

“What’s that?”

“Kissed her good-night on the mouth.”

Tom’s breath plumed out before him as he chuckled and said, “None of your business, pal!”

Caleb giggled but said no more.

The night was cold, and a bright moon cast its silver shadows on the snow. Father and son walked together in silence, each lost in his own thoughts.

After bathing in fragrant rose-scented water, Kathleen put on a warm robe and slippers and sat before the mirror at the dresser, brushing her hair to a glossy sheen. It was still slightly damp on the ends that cascaded down her back to meet her waist.

Can this really be happening?
She walked to the window and gazed out at the sparkling, star-studded sky.

Aloud she said, “Peter, I feel guilty about keeping Meggie a secret from Tom. Am I doing the right thing?”

Her attention was drawn to a carriage that pulled up in front of the hotel. She watched the man and woman alight then disappear.

“I know I’ve fallen in love with Tom. And…and I’ll be a good wife to him. And a good mother to Caleb.”

Tears started down her cheeks. “Meggie, sweetheart,” she said in a whisper, “Mommy will be coming for you as soon as I can. Don’t forget me.”