Secrets of a Former Fat Girl (9 page)

Get a trainer.

First things first: Personal trainers are not just for people who have zero body fat or perfect measurements or who someday aspire to the Olympics. Trainers work with all kinds, from the superfit athlete to the cardiac rehab patient. Even so, the idea of working out with a personal trainer might make you kind of nervous. But the trainers I know are like the best coaches and the least annoying cheerleaders rolled into one. If they know what your goals are, they can push you just enough so that every workout is challenging but successful. The trick is to find one you click with. (See the sidebar on Chapter 2 for tips on finding a trainer you can trust.) You need someone with whom you're not embarrassed to talk about your goals and your challenges, because communication is extremely important. If you're too embarrassed to tell her that you haven't worked out in, like,
ever
or that there's an excruciating pain in your back when you try a particular exercise, you're not going to get the most out of your workout and might even get hurt.

Once you've found your match, a trainer can be indispensable in several ways. Her technical expertise in exercise (and nutrition, provided she has the credentials) is only part of it. She'll also be there for you when your motivation flags. And because you have a professional relationship, there's less of a chance you'll resent her when she calls you on missing a workout. You can always fire her; the same is not true of your mother.

Write it down.

Sometimes all you need is to vent. You don't need advice or encouragement. You just need to get it all out. Journaling allows you to blow off steam and even work through some issues without having to deal with backtalk from a second party. This is not an original idea: Many weight loss experts suggest keeping a journal along with a log of what you're eating and how much you're exercising. Not only will that help keep you “honest”—which you may need because you can't rely on the power of peer pressure—but it is a great way to chronicle your progress. Full disclosure: Journaling has never really been my thing. I've always thought I
should
journal (don't most real writers?), but I've never been able to keep it up. I've amassed an extensive collection of beautiful volumes that remain blank except for two or three pages. I did, though, keep track of my weekly weigh-ins on my office calendar when I went on Weight Watchers and for a long time after I had reached my goal weight. I also kept a food log as part of that program and jotted down the number of miles I ran each day. Paging through, seeing the pounds drop and the miles tick up, was such a powerful experience. It was a visual, tactile affirmation of all the work I'd been doing. The only thing better? Squeezing into a smaller jeans size.

Find another Fat Girl or, even better, a Former Fat Girl.

I was lucky to have Tracey when I started my own journey to Former Fat Girlhood. Not all fellow Fat Girls are as accepting and compassionate as Tracey. There are those who will tear you down so they can feel better about themselves (such as that stupid Mary Ann in third grade). There are those who will try to keep you from changing because they're afraid of changing themselves. There are those who simply are fighting their own battles and might take you down with them when they backslide. So latching onto another Fat Girl isn't a surefire solution. Teaming up with a Former Fat Girl, though, is a much safer tactic. We know exactly what you're going through; we know what worked for us; and we know how to share just enough information and then back off and leave you alone. The problem is, you can't recognize us when you see us. That is the point of this book: to let you know we're out there waiting to help and cheering you on. But here is a hint that will help you start your search: Some of the women most dedicated to exercise are Former Fat Girls. Aerobic instructors, trainers, marathon runners, triathletes—I can guarantee that if you tap into that network, you'll find a Former Fat Girl or two, or three, or more.

The Obstacle: Sticky Social Situations That Involve Food

Work parties, family gatherings, and nights out with the girls can't be avoided completely. You just need to be prepared to cope. These fixes will help.

Former Fat Girl Fixes

Play offense.

Let's say you're invited to a backyard barbecue and the cook's specialty is baby back ribs, something you'd rather not touch for fear of losing all control and eating an entire rack. Barbecues are particularly challenging for the wannabe Former Fat Girl because the traditional menu isn't exactly what you'd call healthy: potato salad, coleslaw, and macaroni salad dripping in mayo; baked beans swimming with chunks of bacon; and marbled meats oozing with oily sauces. If you are lucky, you might be able to scrounge up a lean piece of beef brisket or strip a chicken breast of its skin, and maybe snag a piece of white bread, but that's about it.

There are a couple of ways to deal with this situation without calling unwanted attention to yourself. (Staying home is not an option.) Eat something before you go—not a full meal but a heavy snack—say, half a peanut butter or turkey sandwich or a small bowl of cereal or some tuna over mixed greens. Then
nibble
at the party. Don't skip the meal altogether (see the next fix to find out why); instead, take small tasting portions of the dishes on the menu. But that strategy will backfire completely if you do let go at the party and eat a full meal. Another way to handle it is to bring a healthy side dish to share, making sure you get a substantial portion and leaving just a little space on your plate for the host's dishes. That way you'll have something to enjoy along with everyone else. Plus, you'll earn points for your “thoughtful” contribution to the meal—even though your motivation was more self
ish
than self
less
.

Don't refuse food.

This was a particularly hard lesson for me to learn. It would make sense that if you don't want to eat something, you shouldn't put any on your plate, right? Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Think about it: What would happen if you passed up a serving of your mom's special family recipe cheesecake with a simple “No, thank you”? If you think you'd get away with that, you've got another think coming. In my house, I'd be subjected to such interrogation and commentary, you'd think I was the latest nominee to the Supreme Court. It's better to accept some and keep your mouth shut. Don't even say, “I'll just have a small piece”; that will only draw attention to you. Remember, if you don't make a big deal out of it, the people around you are less likely to. Take the food—small portions if you can manage it—and try to leave some on your plate. Even one bite is a victory, girls. I know I'm advocating wastefulness, God and Grandmom forgive me, but you're got to sacrifice your membership in the clean plate club if you want to be a Former Fat Girl.