Anjelita’s head snapped up. “Of course I knew.”
“You said you’d had many lovers.”
“I know how to prevent a child, Marisa, and other things. I may have been a poor Catholic, but I was not stupid.”
“Then how did it happen?” Marisa needed to know.
“The condom broke. It was during the weekend Andrew and I spent together.” Anjelita hesitated and then added. “Before I knew he had a wife.”
Marisa did the math in her head. There was barely nine months difference between Carolyn and her. She guessed, “Carolyn had just been born and Mrs. Easterling paralyzed.”
“I did not know that then.”
“He spent the weekend with you while his newborn child was in the hospital and his wife was on life support?” Oh, it just got worse and worse. She sank into a chair.
“Andrew went a little crazy thinking they were both going to die. He told me this later. All I knew then was that I had found the man I wanted to marry and I gave myself to the man I thought would be my husband.”
Marisa’s fists clenched on her knees. “He was already married.”
“I found that out later, but it was too late. You were already conceived and I was hopelessly in love.”
Marisa had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could speak. “He’s the man you never got over?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did you become his housekeeper?”
“I have always done the best I could for you.”
Marisa wondered about the change in subject. “Yes, you have.”
“Everything I did, I did for you.”
“I know.”
“I told Andrew about you. His wife could not have more children so he wanted to adopt you. You would have been Carolyn’s sister in name. But I would not let him have you.”
“He just wanted you to give me away?”
“He wanted Carolyn to have a sibling. He hoped for a son. When I would not give you up, he asked me to live there, to let you be raised with Carolyn. How could I refuse? He gave us a house. He’d be able to see you every day and be a father to you.”
“So that one weekend tied you to him forever.”
“No,
mi hija
.” Sadness filled Anjelita’s eyes.
Marisa braced for worse.
“We were bound, Andrew and I, from the moment we met. He moved me into his house and his life … ”
“No.” The rumors couldn’t be true. Marisa wanted to clap her hands over her ears and block out the truth.
“We loved each other very much, your father and I.”
“No, no, no. Mamá, you had an affair with my father?”
“Not an affair, no. But I was his lover until the day he died. He was faithful to me.”
“And unfaithful to his wife.” Marisa could not contain her bitterness. She rocketed from the chair and paced to the window. It was sunny outside. It should be stormy, like she felt inside.
“Not unfaithful,” her mother said. “She could not be his wife in that way. But I could. She agreed this arrangement worked for everyone.”
Marisa spun around, incredulous. “She knew? You talked about it with her?”
“I was not a prostitute,
mi hija
.” Anjelita’s tone was sharp. “I was his other wife, in all but name. I did what his first wife could not do. But without her approval, I would not have kept his house, raised his children, or been his lover.”
The world had gone insane. Marisa could no longer make sense of it. “You could have married someone else, had other children.”
“No. There was no one but Andrew for me. He wanted to marry me. He bought the rings and everything. He wanted legal standing for our relationship and for you. Andrew said men had had more than one wife in the Bible. He hated that we couldn’t live openly as a couple. It was hard for me not to be able to spend the whole night in his arms. Slipping from his bed in the night made what we shared seem sordid. Committed love is anything but sordid.
“We discussed driving to another city where no one knew us and getting married. But I didn’t want shame to come to his wife if anyone found out he was a bigamist. Such an ugly word. I compromised, because he wanted it so badly.”
Marisa tensed. “Compromised? How?”
“We spoke our wedding vows to each other in private. In the garden. We renewed them every five years. Andrew was just as eager that last time as he’d been the first time.”
“But it wasn’t legal. You weren’t really married.”
“In our hearts and minds we were. What I shared with your father wasn’t an affair, Marisa. Not for either of us. We sealed our lives together. Till death do us part.”
Marisa couldn’t begin to understand her parents’ relationship. Her legs felt rubbery, so she returned to her chair to try to understand the rest. “Why didn’t you tell me he was my father?”
“It is hard for a child to keep a secret. During your early years, we kept our love for each other hidden. Later, when it would have been all right to tell you, there was Carolyn to consider. Andrew did not want to hurt her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth after … my father … died?”
“I had loved him for twenty-seven years,
mi hija
. My man was dead. I wanted to die too. I had no job, no lover, no life. I am sorry I did not think of telling you until Carolyn died.”
Marisa sat wordless. Her mother had grieved silently for her father. All those lost looks hadn’t been a woman wondering how she’d pay her bills, but how she’d go on without the man she loved. Since she’d met Nick, Marisa began to understand a little of how her mother must feel.
“Daddy really loved you, Mamá?” Marisa swallowed and winced. “It wasn’t just the sex?”
Anjelita’s smile was strained. “He told me so every day, even when we were not in bed.”
Marisa tried not to think that her forty-six-year-old mother had been sexually active until a year ago. With her father. Andrew Easterling.
“I will never love again. I am one of those women who can only love one man. That is why I held onto Andrew in the only way I could.” Her eyes filled with tears.
Marisa went to her mother, kneeling by her chair. She took hold of her mother’s hands. “Tell me about my father, Mamá.”
Her mother smiled a watery smile and began.
• • •
“How could Wentworth have an alibi?” Nick asked Brian. He’d walked to the smoking remains of Marisa’s apartment house and found her car parked in the street with the keys inside. Then he’d driven to the sheriff’s office. After seeing the charred remains of Marisa’s home and being reminded how close they’d come to dying, he was in no mood to hear bad news.
“He was with his secretary … ”
“Again?”
“You should talk,” Brian said with some asperity.
“Marisa’s the intended victim. Leave our relationship out of this.”
“You know I was joking when I said to guard her.”
Nick ground his teeth together. “Somebody has to protect her, but that’s not why I’m with her.”
“I know that.” Brian checked his tone. “Listen, I even felt the hood of Wentworth’s car. It was cold.”
“His mistress has a car too, you know. Besides, Marisa walks home from her mother’s house all the time. It’s not far.”
“What about the alibi?”
“He’s sleeping with her. Of course she’s going to lie for him.” Nick raked his hands through his hair.
Brian pierced him with a look. “Would you lie for Marisa?”
Nick opened his mouth to deny he’d lie for anyone. Instead, what came out was, “I’d die for her.” He began to shake.
“Man, I can’t believe it.” Brian shook his head. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“Then you’d better break Wentworth’s alibi. Get his mistress in here and grill her.” Nick lowered his voice so only Brian could hear. “Marisa got the DNA test results at the hospital this morning. She’s Easterling’s daughter.”
“Jesus.” Brian ran a hand down his face, staring at Nick. “What are you saying?”
“I think Wentworth knows. I don’t know if Easterling knew, but I suspect he did. Maybe there was something in his house that tipped Wentworth off.”
“If there was, then why didn’t Easterling split the inheritance in his will?”
Nick threw up his hands. “Who knows? I’m sure the man didn’t expect to die that young.”
“I guess not. Who does?” Brian walked around his desk and sat down, signaling Nick to do the same. “How’d Marisa take it?”
Nick settled in the other chair. “How do you think? She cried. This has been a very emotional week for her.”
“And on top of everything else, she’s sleeping with you.”
“Yeah.” Nick wished he could give her up in his last two days in town, but he couldn’t. He needed her.
Thinking aloud, he said, “If Wentworth killed his wife to get her money … ”
“That’s not proven.”
“Then he wouldn’t want Marisa in the way, either. Did the fire department find evidence at the scene?”
Brian shook his head and picked up a small tablet. His gaze moved over the words written on it. “It looked like the first floor tenant left her stove on when she went to work. The fire spread from her apartment into Marisa’s above it.”
“Does the tenant confirm leaving the stove on?”
“She doesn’t remember. She was hysterical until she found out her dog was safe at the vet’s.”
Nick felt a twinge of guilt for yelling at Marisa over the dog. “Can we prove she didn’t leave the stove on?”
“Most of the house burned, Nick. It’s a total loss. The fire department did confirm there was no accelerant used.”
“He wanted it to look like an accident. Can you call in a forensic specialist from New York City or the FBI?”
“And tell them what? That we don’t believe the accidents are really accidents? I don’t think a specialist will come here on that basis.”
Nick pounded one fist into the other. “Damn it, Brian, do you want to see Marisa killed?”
“No. God, no.”
“Then do something about Wentworth.”
Marisa stood beside Carolyn’s open casket and greeted mourners. The mortuary had done a magnificent job hiding the damage done by the train. Still, Marisa couldn’t bear to look, because she knew what the strategically placed flowers covered.
She still couldn’t believe Carolyn was her sister, but most of the town could. She’d notified the lawyer and the mayor, and it seemed they’d told everyone else.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” one of her high school classmates said to her now. “I had biology class with your sister.”
Marisa nodded, unable to speak for a moment. The silent refrain
if only I’d known
beat in her mind.
“So how does it feel knowing you’re Andrew Easterling’s illegitimate daughter?” The woman’s blue eyes sparkled with ill-concealed curiosity and speculation.
“I’m still in shock.” What else could Marisa say?
“Yeah, I guess you would be. But you practically lived with him all your life, so you kind of knew your dad.”
“Yes.” How many times today would thoughtless statements like that hurt her, reminding her that she’d lived a lie?
The classmate shook Marisa’s hand and moved on. Marisa had stood by the casket for an hour as townspeople filed through to pay their respects. It didn’t look like the influx would lessen any time soon.
Anjelita moved among the tables at the back of the town hall refilling refreshments. Marisa felt separated from her mother for the first time ever. Marisa was blood relation to Carolyn, but Anjelita wasn’t. Even though her mother had helped raise Carolyn, blood was what really mattered today.
Marisa wondered if her mother took the servant role now for the same reason she’d taken it twenty-six years ago — to hide her real role. In this case, that of surrogate mother.
How had her mother hidden her passionate love for Andrew Easterling all those years? Marisa and Carolyn were curious, intelligent girls. How had they missed Andrew and Anjelita carrying on an affair right under their noses?
As townspeople shared anecdotes about Carolyn, Marisa sorted through her own memories of her parents. They had stayed in close proximity when in the same room. They seemed to work as a pair on any task. As she thought hard about it, there was almost always time when her parents were together that they went missing. Five minutes here, ten there, an hour. So that’s how they’d hidden their affair, in plain sight.
“Marisa.”
Her reverie burst at her ex-fiancé’s familiar voice. “Hi, Kevin. I didn’t expect to see you here.” She winced at her words. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know what you meant. I knew Carolyn for years through you, remember? She was a good friend to you.”
Marisa couldn’t help asking, “Do you think I was a good friend to her?”
“Of course you were. You treat everyone well. That’s why you’re such an important part of this town. I’m sorry about Carolyn.” He hugged her.
Her body didn’t come alive like it did when she came into contact with Nick’s. Kevin didn’t set her body aflame like Nick did.
Kevin released her. “I’m leaving tonight. I came by to say good-bye.”
She clutched his arm, even now afraid to lose this part of her past. “Already?”
“Dr. Handler knows I’m anxious to fly to California, so he released me. He says he’s glad to work full-time for a while. So I’ll be surfing by the weekend. He says to tell you Peaches is fine.”
Unexpectedly, Marisa’s eyes misted. “I’m glad you stopped by.”
“I’m really sorry it didn’t work between us. I heard you’ve been seeing a friend of Deputy Nash’s. I hope that works out better for you.”
Marisa couldn’t respond through her tight throat. Nick would be home by the weekend, too.
Kevin leaned down to kiss her and she let him because they had a history together, although part of it had been make-believe. When he walked away, she dabbed her eyes. Her life had been a house of cards that had come crashing down.
• • •
Nick watched Marisa’s ex-fiancé kiss her, then watched her wipe away her tears. His fists clenched at his sides. In his head, he’d known she hadn’t gotten over Kevin yet. Too bad his heart had hoped differently.
She was a loyal woman. She’d stayed with her fiancé all through college and vet school. It was one of the qualities Nick admired in her. But he hated that that loyalty meant she wasn’t ready for more with him. He should break it off with her before they got hurt worse than they would.