“We always think there’ll be more time. William was only twenty-nine when he died.”
Michael squeezed his dad’s arm. “Mom’s going to be all right, Dad.”
His dad rubbed his forehead. “I can’t help but wonder. We thought she was home free after the first operation. Are they going to have to keep cutting out parts of her each time it comes back? And what will repetitive bouts of chemo and radiation do to her?” He choked and then covered his face. His shoulders shook with sobs.
Michael drew his dad against him and hugged him tight. His throat and chest tightened. Ileana moved to his dad’s other side and completed the circle around his father that Michael had begun. Michael ducked his head and let his own tears and fears loose. His burden had been nothing compared to his father’s. His father was facing that thing that Michael feared most—losing someone he loved. And his father’s love was so much deeper than anything Michael had ever experienced. How did his father do it?
Mr. Ziffkin’s tears finally spent, he wiped his face on a white handkerchief he pulled from his pocket. “I’m sorry to fall apart like that.”
“You love her,” Ileana said, her voice husky. “We understand. I lost my
novio
, my nearly-betrothed, when I was seventeen. People said we were two halves of a whole. He completed me. When he was killed, I couldn’t find a reason to go on without him. And yet I did. I walked the path Roberto had laid out for his life. I went to college in his place. I joined my father’s company and did the job Roberto would have done. My family didn’t understand. But I had to do it—for Roberto.
“One day not long ago I discovered I was alive again, that it was my life, not Roberto’s. I had made it. That was the day I met your son.”
Michael felt stripped raw. He refused to consider what her words meant.
His father nodded. “I felt that way when I met Jane. What I lacked, she had. She’s so much more than I am. I feel like I’ve lived in the brilliance of the sun since I met her. I still feel giddy sometimes when she smiles at me. God gave me a precious gift the day I met her. I don’t want to fail her.”
“How can you? Hasn’t she been happy having you for a husband?” Ileana responded.
“I think so. But I’ve been the lucky one.”
“I think you’re both lucky to have each other.”
“Yeah.” His father straightened. “Tell me more about yourself. You’re Cuban, right?”
Ileana smiled with pride. “First generation American.” She proceeded to tell his father about the Calderons and the Alvarezes. She talked about her siblings and their families, including her brother the doctor who made her parents so proud.
“My parents couldn’t believe their good fortune to produce a doctor. We’re a merchant family from generations back. But when Federico told Papá he wanted to be a doctor and heal the sick, there was no question of making him give that up. My distant cousin Roberto Herrara was to be my father’s heir in Federico’s place. He would become heir through his marriage to me. And our child would see that Calderon stayed in Calderon hands. It was arranged at my
quince
, my fifteenth birthday party. Papá was so pleased when Roberto and I fell in love.
“So my brother becoming a doctor opened the door of Calderon to me when Roberto died. My sisters are traditional Cuban wives. They stay at home and raise children. I’m the only one of my father’s children in Calderon. If I perform better than my cousin Juan Carlos, Roberto’s brother, I’ll inherit Calderon.”
“What if your father chooses your cousin over you?”
Ileana cocked her head. “I’d be sad to see Calderon pass out of my family’s hands. But I’d still work for Calderon. I belong there.”
“And where does Michael fit in?” his father asked.
“We’re still working on that,” Michael said.
Ileana gave him a smug, half-smile. Then she talked more about her family and her grandparents’ escape from Cuba when her parents were children.
Her life was so different from Michael’s. Traditions he could barely understand, like
quinces
and
novios
, defined her colorful personal history. Yet she’d broken out of the traditional female role and molded herself into the male Cuban role, something she couldn’t have done in Cuba. She was Americanized, but not fully, immensely feminine, but with a searing intelligence and business acumen. She’d been limited solely by the fact of being contained in the Cuban community. Had she broken out, she would have been someone else entirely. He found himself thankful she was Cuban.
Her tales were so interesting that a step in the room finally alerted them to another’s presence. They all turned towards the doorway, only to find not the surgeon, but Rick.
“What’s going on here? Michael, your office said you were at the hospital. I was worried sick. I’ve combed this place for you. But you’re not hurt. Dad? I want to know why you’re all here.”
Michael rose. He’d wanted his brother to share the load, but he found he had mixed feelings about Rick’s presence.
“Tell him,” Ileana said. “He has a right to know.”
“He has enough to worry about with Analise,” Mr. Ziffkin objected.
No, Ileana was right. Michael put his hand on his dad’s shoulder. “Mom’s having surgery. The cancer is back.”
Rick collapsed into a chair. “What?”
Michael and his father explained everything to a white-faced Rick, who finally exploded, “You had no right to keep this from me! I came home. I came back to the family. I’m not a stranger anymore. I’m your
son
. I have just as much right as
him
.” He jerked a thumb toward Michael.
Rage propelled Michael out of his seat once more. “Who stayed here and kept in touch with Mom and Dad? I did. I didn’t run off to live my life somewhere else. I didn’t give them the cold shoulder after Billy died...”
“No, you did that to me and Charlie. Are still doing it.”
“I couldn’t keep Billy in Miami where he was safe. Where his big brother could protect him. I couldn’t keep any of you here. You just left. You left me, and you left Mom and Dad. They needed you, but they only had me. I needed you, too.
“Mom said you weren’t to be bothered, not when you’re getting ready for the baby.”
Rick waved around the waiting room. “The baby will be fine. Does Charlie know?”
“No,” their father answered. “He was getting married and now he’s on his honeymoon.”
“Cancer’s a hell of a lot more important than a wedding or honeymoon, Dad,” Rick declared.
“We didn’t want to spoil his day.”
“You were wrong. I’d have wanted to know. I bet Charlie will feel the same way when I tell him. I should have been here.”
Ileana’s quiet voice broke the silence. “Yes, you should have been here. Families stick together. Can you stay?”
“Hell yes. I need to call my captain and Analise. Oh, the doctor put her on bed rest. That’s what I wanted to tell you.”
“Do you need anything?” Michael asked. “A specialist? Does Analise need someone to take care of her at home?”
A small smile crossed Rick’s face. “We trust her OB/GYN and she just needs to stay off her feet. But thanks for asking.”
Some of Michael’s bitterness thawed. “That’s what brothers are for.”
Rick pulled out his cell phone. “Excuse me. I have to make those calls.”
“I hadn’t considered his feelings,” his dad reflected, staring down the hall after Rick. “We only wanted what was best for him.”
“Tell him,” Ileana urged.
“I will.”
Rick returned and after awhile his father went to use the facilities. Ileana’s eyes urged Michael towards Rick.
Michael groped for words to breach the gap with Rick. “I was angry at you. Because I had to carry the burden alone.”
“But...”
Michael waved his brother to silence. “I was angry because you got to leave and I couldn’t.”
Rick signaled for Michael to continue when he stopped.
“Billy died, Mom got sick—it was like even God abandoned me. Then you and Charlie came back and you had everything. You both had someone.” Michael rushed over that part. “Then Mom got sick again and they didn’t want to burden you.” Words clotted in his throat. “It was a heavy burden to carry alone. I had no one to talk to.”
“I’m sorry, Michael.”
Michael spun to face his father in the doorway. “I’m not complaining, Dad.”
“No, you never complain. You’re a good son.” His father included Rick in his glance. “You’re both good sons.”
Rick stood. “I’m here for you—both of you—from now on. I never meant to be separate from this family. I’m sorry.”
He looked at Michael and a heavy burden lifted from Michael’s heart. Michael, his father, and Rick hugged. His mother was right. It was time to make up with his brothers.
Michael envied his brothers’ good fortune in love. Of the things Ileana had learned this morning, that amazed her the most. Yet he hadn’t sought a relationship of his own. And it seemed for every two steps forward she took with him, they took one step backward.
He wanted something—her—but wouldn’t allow himself to have it. A less confident woman might have walked away from him, given up on his moods, might have taken the moods personally when they weren’t. A woman who didn’t have the experience of true love that Ileana did might not recognize the rare connection she had with Michael. She’d had a soulmate once; she thought she may have found another. Michael was a complex man with layers of self-protection built up over the past few years. But she’d seen enough glimpses of the man behind the shields to know he was worth fighting for. Even if half the time she seemed to be fighting him.
Michael and Rick were talking. She sat beside Michael with her hand laced with his on his thigh. His father sat on her other side holding her other hand. A small, satisfied smile played on his lips as he watched his sons.
Ileana could grow to love this family, as different as they were from her own. If Michael would let her become a permanent part of his life. Convincing him would be difficult. His reticence wasn’t based in logic but in emotion. But so long as they were together, there was hope. Which was good because she liked the picture she envisioned of them sharing a life together.
Quick steps approached the door. They all looked up to see a Hispanic man in green surgical scrubs. They rose to their feet.
“How is she, Dr. Ramos?” Michael’s father asked.
“She’s still asleep. She’s in recovery. The nurse will come get you shortly.” Dr. Ramos stepped forward and gripped Mr. Ziffkin’s hand. “Joe, the surgery went well. I believe I got everything. I sent the tissue to the lab to be biopsied. I’ll have the results tomorrow and we’ll start chemotherapy later this week.”
“Thank you, Dr. Ramos.” There were tears in the older Ziffkin’s eyes.
“Do you have everything you need, Dr. Ramos?” Michael asked. “I sold a lot of inventory so I’d have liquid capital, just in case.”
“No, I don’t need anything. I’ve arranged for your mother to have the private room as you asked. She’ll also have a private duty nurse, although this hospital has a good reputation with patients.”
“I want my mom to have whatever she needs.”
“She will.”
“Dr. Ramos, this is my younger son, Rick,” Mr. Ziffkin waved at Rick.
The doctor shook hands with Rick. “Your mother has the best care possible. Your brother has seen to it.” He nodded at them all and walked back the way he’d come.
Michael slapped his dad on the back. “The surgery went all right.”
Although his dad smiled, tears stood in his eyes.
“You paid for all this?” Rick asked Michael.
“Only what Mom’s insurance doesn’t cover.”
Ileana thought it was a lot more than Michael was telling.
Rick seemed to think so, too. “A private room, a private duty nurse—those cost money.”
“I want Mom to be as comfortable as possible. Look, Rick, it’s not a hardship for me. I live a simple life. I make enough money so she’ll have what she needs.”
Ileana wasn’t sure Rick understood or appreciated what Michael had just admitted. But she did. She’d also caught what he’d said to the surgeon about selling inventory. Her heart filled with a warm feeling for him she’d only experienced once before in her life. It couldn’t be love, not this soon, yet she’d known in an instant with Roberto.
A blonde woman in green scrubs appeared in the doorway. “Mr. Ziffkin?”
Michael’s dad answered. “That’s me.”
“Would you like to see your wife for a few minutes?”
He smiled. “Oh, yes.”
She looked around at the rest of them. “You’ll be able to see her when she’s fully awake. For now, it’s just the spouse.”
“Go ahead, Dad,” Michael urged.
His dad followed the nurse down the hall.
When he was out of earshot, Rick turned to Michael. “I appreciate what you’re doing for Mom and Dad.”
Michael shrugged. “They’re my parents.”
“You’ve made sacrifices. You didn’t have to.”
“Yeah I did. I had to protect Mom. I couldn’t let her die like Billy did. If the money made a difference between her living or dying, then I sure didn’t need to spend it on me.”
“It wasn’t your fault Billy died, you know. He was an adult.”
“You were all adults. That didn’t stop me from being your big brother. That’s never going to stop.”
“I didn’t feel like you were my big brother the past few years, even since I’ve been back,” Rick said. There was hurt in his eyes.
Michael inhaled and exhaled a long, slow breath. “I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me. The few times I spoke to you, you sounded so distant.”
“I had my own guilt to deal with. I’m a cop. I should have been able to solve Billy’s murder. But I couldn’t. Until I met Analise, I thought all of you felt I should have done more.”
“You weren’t in homicide when he died. I never even thought about you finding his killer.”
“Analise told me it’s not all about me. And it’s not all about you, either. I’ve put Billy to rest. Have you?”
Michael hooded his eyes. “I visit his grave regularly.”
“That’s not what I mean. Ileana, would you excuse us for a few minutes?”
Just when she was getting insight into Michael, his brother dragged him away.