Second Chances (28 page)

Slowly, she nodded her head. “
Ja
, it is.”

It just so happened that the worship service was to be held at the bishop's home
this week. It was the last worship service before new members of the church would
accept their baptism, an event that triggered a busy season for the
g
'
may
. First
there would be the autumn communion,
a members-only service, and then the weddings
would begin. Most of the weddings would be held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the
homes of the brides. Some wedding seasons, Anna would attend five or six weddings,
most of them in her own church district or a neighboring one. While always happy
for the newlyweds, Anna couldn't help but feel a touch of bittersweet regret for
having given up her own chance at happiness.

“Will you be attending the fellowship meal afterward, then?”

His question surprised her and Anna couldn't help but laugh. “Of course! Surely you
remember that I am watching my
schwester
's
kinner
. It will do them good to see their
friends and have time to play outside while the adults eat.”

“The
kinner
must keep you busy all day!” He shook his head as he regarded her situation.
“Certainly you are too young to be so burdened with their care!”

Not wanting to point out that most women her age already had two, three, or even
four of their own
kinner
, Anna shrugged off his comment. “They are no trouble. Well,
at least not when they are with Salome or . . . sleeping!”

This time Willis laughed with her.

It was almost quarter to eight when he dropped her off at the house. She thanked
him for the ride, although she still wondered why he had taken the long way back
to the farm. With a wave of her hand, she watched him leave, the blinking lights
on the back of the buggy slowly fading as he drove down the road. Despite her unasked
questions it had been pleasant to spend some time with Willis, especially since she
suspected that he might, after all, have intentions of becoming her brother-in-law.

Chapter Sixteen

T
HE FOLLOWING DAY
Anna avoided Salome and Hannah, claiming she wanted to thoroughly
clean the house before Cris and Mary returned home. She kept the two boys busy by
challenging them to see which one could help scrub a section of the floor first.
Their reward was a batch of freshly baked sugar cookies. During the early evening,
she let the boys play outside while she cleaned out the flower beds, making certain
to look up each time Cris Junior or Walter cried out for her to “look at me” as they
climbed a tree branch or threw a rock into the fields. By the time that the sun began
to set, she hustled the boys inside to bathe and dress for bed. Having been a long
day, one that gave her enough distractions that she had little time to reflect on
her own concerns, she was thankful to hear the boys' evening prayers and tuck them
into their beds. An hour or two of quiet and solitude might be just enough to restore
her strength for her sister's upcoming return and the ultimate announcement that
she would eagerly share without regard to Anna's feelings. After all, Mary observed
little of Anna's emotions and certainly never gave one inkling that such an announcement
would all but break her sister's spirit.

At eight o'clock Anna was surprised when not one but two buggies pulled into the
driveway. Sitting in the rocking chair by the side window, she peered outside and
saw that one of the buggies pulled into the small gravel spot behind Cris and Mary's
house while the second buggy, likely Caleb's, continued down the lane to the other
house.

Shutting her devotional, Anna set it beside her on a small table and quickly stood
up. She could hear the sound of footsteps on the gravel and a low voice speaking
to the horse. A man, she realized. After straightening the bottom of her dress, she
hurried to the door, wondering if someone had come with news. She knew it couldn't
have been a message from Lydia, for she had visited earlier that morning and stayed
for the noon meal. And she could not think of anyone else who might come visiting,
especially at such an hour.

She stood on the porch, rubbing her arms to keep warm. The night air was cool at
this time of the year, and she almost retreated into the house to grab a sweater
from the mudroom. Her curiosity, however, kept her poised on the porch, waiting to
see who had arrived.

“Anna,” a voice called out.

Still standing in the open doorway, she frowned. Willis? Why on earth was he stopping
at the house so late in the evening? It was very late for visiting with the Mussers.
Besides, didn't he know that Cris and Mary had yet to return? Then it dawned on her
that Willis hadn't come to see the Mussers. Instead, he had come calling on her!

Before she could comprehend that thought, Willis walked up the steps to the porch
and stood before her. “You must be freezing!” he said.

Her teeth almost chattered. “I am!” She gave a soft laugh. “I didn't know who was
here. I must not have been thinking when I opened the door.”

In the darkness she could sense a smile on his face. “I won't stay long, but
mayhaps
you should get a shawl?”

Without being asked twice, Anna left him on the porch and hurried back into the house.
Alone, she stood there for a moment and tried to make sense of this unexpected visit.
Nevertheless, he was a relative, so she owed him the courtesy of her attention. Quickly
she put on a black sweater and grabbed a shawl as an extra measure of precaution.
On the way back outside, she paused and reached into the cabinet for a battery-operated
lantern. No sense in sitting in the cold and the dark, she reasoned.

“Better?” he asked when she emerged from the house, shutting the door behind her
and leaning against it. He kept a respectful distance from her, just in case anyone
drove by and saw them.

In the soft glow from the lantern she nodded, feeling shy in his presence. The idea
of being called on by her sister's former suitor made her feel self-conscious. She
didn't want to read too much into his visit, yet the idea of getting to know him
better was not entirely dissatisfying to her. After all, the only man she had ever
considered marrying would soon wed another, and that lingering fear of being a burden
seemed far too real.
It is time to be more open-minded
, she told herself.

“I wanted to check on you,” he said, breaking the silence. “I hear tell that your
sister and her husband shall return by the weekend.”

Again, Anna nodded, wondering where he would have heard that news but knowing that
it was not her business

to ask, even if she was curious. “That's what I'm told.” A letter had arrived that
morning, and Raymond had told her the news when she saw him earlier in the day.

He leaned against the porch railing, fiddling with his hat in his hands. He seemed
a bit nervous, and that made Anna even more curious, for he had always seemed overly
confident in the stories that her father told. Of course, her father hadn't been
particularly fond of Willis, either . . . at least back then. “They've been gone
for almost two weeks, ain't so? A long time for others to care for your
kinner
and
work.”

When he said it that way, she realized how long it truly had been. Not only had Anna
been burdened with tending to the children for the last week, Jonas been left to
tend to all of the farm chores without Cris's help since their trip to Lancaster.
The decision for both Mary and Cris to stay in Pennsylvania had impacted more people
than Anna originally realized. “
Ja
, it has been nearly two weeks,” she said. “It'll
be good to have them back.”

In that moment, as she spoke those words, Anna realized that she hadn't really spoken
the truth. After all, when Cris and Mary did return, everything in the house would
go back to the way it was before the Lancaster trip.

To Anna's surprise, despite the extra work and constant demands for her attention,
she had enjoyed her time at the house without her sister. The boys' behavior had
improved tremendously, something that Salome pointed out on more than one occasion.
There were fewer tantrums, arguments, and spells of crying, that was for sure and
certain. The stronger sense of peace, calm, and love that filled the house made her
long for her own home and family.

Anna feared that the peace and calm would dissipate immediately upon her sister's
return. Mary surrounded herself with noise, conflict, and controversy. In fact, her
younger sister seemed to thrive upon it. And, upon their return, Anna knew that she
would lose her authoritative role in the house, relegated to, once again, serving
Mary during
her
tantrums, arguments, and spells of illness.

The idea did not seem pleasant to Anna and she felt a sense of dread fill her chest.

“You're quite remarkable,” Willis said, a slight hesitation in his voice, “to have
taken on such responsibility during their absence.”

She was thankful for the darkness so that he couldn't see the color flood to her
cheeks. Compliments were far and few between among the Amish, and in her case, almost
nonexistent, at least from her own family. “It's no more than anyone else would do,
I'm sure,” she finally offered, a gentle way of deflecting the compliment so that
she didn't seem prideful in having received it.

They talked for a few more minutes, Willis telling her about a horse auction that
he had attended recently. She listened, appreciating the detail with which he described
a horse that he had bid on but lost. Then, after the conversation dwindled down,
he made his excuses and bade her good night. Since no one else was home, it was only
proper that the visit be kept brief. Anna, however, was left pondering whether the
visit had been a good idea at all. It was a question that remained unanswered when
she finally retired to her bedroom for the night.

The following day, Friday, she was washing the breakfast dishes while little Cris
and Walter were helping their grandfather, when Hannah waltzed into the kitchen.
The
glow on her face and the way she practically danced across the floor told Anna
all that she needed to know.

“Why,
gut mariye
, Hannah,” she said as she set down the dish towel. She tried not
to smile, wanting to let the young woman tell her own news before she congratulated
her.

“Oh, Anna! You'll never guess!”

At this, she smiled but still waited.

“Caleb and I . . . ” Hannah hesitated, lowering her eyes modestly for just a moment
as she sought the right words. “Well, I know it's supposed to be announced at worship
and all, but you are like a
schwester
to me, and . . . ” She laughed and grabbed
Anna's hands. “Leah is not the only one to marry this season!” Another laugh and
a quick embrace followed her announcement.

“What a blessing!” Anna said. And she meant it.

When Hannah pulled away, she still held Anna's hands. “I should like for you to be
one of my attendants, Anna. And I know
Maem
will be asking for help with the cleaning
and all.”

“Of course!”

She gasped as she gushed, “
Mayhaps
Leah and I might have a double wedding!” Then
she shook her head. “
Nee
, Caleb wouldn't like that at all, I reckon.”

Anna smiled. “It's to be your special day, Hannah.”

“Oh, you're right, I know you're right!” Laughing, she released Anna's hands and
hugged herself, giddy with happiness. “Oh, to think! I'll be Caleb's Hannah forever!”

Caleb's Hannah. While the young woman gushed on about Caleb's farm and his wonderful
family, Anna was haunted by those two words. She had given up being Freman's Anna;
that spot was now reserved for Leah.
Would anyone ever claim her, or would she simply
remain “Just Anna” or, even worse, “The Old
Maedel
Anna”? The thought sent a wave
of anxiety through her and she had to turn her back to Hannah, just for a moment,
to compose herself.