Second Chances (13 page)

Anna fought the urge to do more than glance at the couple. Their intimacy now quite
apparent, Anna forced herself to walk a bit farther away, but not before she heard
Freman respond.

“Is that so, Leah? Why! I find that most honorable!”

The combination of her words and his response, coupled with his previous statement
about the home being, for some, where the heart is, cut straight through her. Her
memory flashed back eight years prior, to the long discussions Lydia had with her
regarding Freman's position being too precarious for her to consider marriage at
such a young age as well as her father's insistence that not
one of his daughters
would marry a penniless Whittmore, regardless of whether or not he was in good standing
with the Amish community.

Her hands shook and her cheeks turned red, embarrassed at her imprudent decision
to have permitted herself to be persuaded to follow their counsel, not paying any
mind to how much she had disagreed with it. She had used him ill, abandoning a man
she cared about despite the understanding that they would wed.
Oh
, she thought, making
a fist with her hands so that no one could notice her reaction,
if only I had shown
greater fortitude
. . .

“It's getting cold!” Mary's complaint broke Anna's concentration, for which she
was, actually, most thankful. “And my hem is wet!” She glanced at the sky. “And there's
a dark cloud rolling in from the east! Why, this was a horrible idea. I'll be sick
again before the morning sun rises!”

“It's not going to rain,” Cris reassured her. As if to emphasize his statement, he
gestured toward the sunset. “Just enjoy the beautiful colors for a moment, Mary.
That is why we all went walking,
ja
?”

Ignoring his words, she continued to fuss. “I'm not prepared for rain! I haven't
brought an umbrella!” With pursed lips and creases in her brow, she turned to face
her husband. “Cris,” she proclaimed in front of everyone, “I would like to return
home immediately.”

He sighed. “I do believe you know the way.”

Anna thought she saw Hannah snicker at the rebuke from her brother to his wife.

Mary found it less than humorous. “I would think that you would take my arm and help
me. That incline . . . ” She gestured over her shoulder. “Why, I could slip and fall
again!”

Without further argument, Cris took ahold of her elbow and guided her back down the
trodden path that their shoes had made on the trek to the top. Hannah seemed content
to stay, but a fierce look from Leah quickly convinced her otherwise.

“Come, Anna,” Hannah said, her tone cheery despite realizing that Freman's attention
focused on her sister and not herself. “Let's go down together. We can help each
other!” Without waiting, however, Hannah started down the hill, her steps quick and
sure in complete opposition to Mary, who, even with Cris's help, struggled with each
move she attempted.

Realizing that Leah wanted time to walk down alone with Freman, Anna quietly proceeded
down the slope. While her distance from the couple was great, the breeze carried
their voices, and she could not help but overhear their discussion as they slowly
meandered down the hill behind her, obviously not in any hurry to reach the bottom.

“She's good-natured in many ways, that Mary,” Leah said, the intonation of her voice
indicating that there was more to her statement than a compliment. “Her self-regard,
however, does vex me at times.” She sighed. “How we so often wish that Anna had accepted
Cris's offer! She's much more suitable to our family.”

Freman seemed taken aback. “Anna refused him? When did this happen?”

“Oh, I'm not quite certain.
Mayhaps
a year before he married Anna.” Leah laughed
nervously, clearly put off by his interest in Anna. “
Maem
and
Daed
were disappointed.
Maem
blames that Lydia Rothberger. She has such a hold over the family and apparently
felt that Cris didn't suit,
being that he's not as principled as Anna.” Another laugh. “She is rather well-tempered
and irreproachable in nature.”

Freman hesitated before he said a soft, “Indeed.”

Anna heard no more.

At the bottom of the hill, just a quarter mile from the farm, Cris and Mary stood
beside an open-top buggy, conversing with the occupants who, in the dim gray of
evening, Anna could not quite identify. As she approached, however, she heard a
joyful Sara Coblentz call out her name.

“Such a refreshing night,” Sara said as she reached down to take Anna's hand in greeting.
Her eyes flickered over the group's heads. “Why, there's my own
bruder
! What are
all of you young people doing?”

Anna did not respond, presuming the question was intended for Hannah or Leah, who
approached them from the meadow beneath the hill with Freman following just a few
paces behind.

With her mood much improved, Mary took it upon herself to answer. “We went walking
to see the sunset over the hill.”

Sara nodded her head, and with a half-turn toward her husband, said, “We saw the
gorgeous colors in the sky, didn't we, George?”

“
Ja
, sure did.”

Freman approached the side of the buggy, glancing at Anna as he passed her. The look
could have gone unnoticed but for what happened next. He leaned over and mumbled
something to his sister before asking George about his family. No sooner had George
finished catching everyone up-to-date with his ailing sister than Sara moved over
in the buggy and patted the seat next to her.

“
Kum
, Anna,” she said. “You look peaked. Come ride with us.”

The request startled Anna. While she was fatigued, especially since she had been
up early that morning, she felt discomfort with the attention. “
Nee
, it's just a
half-mile, but
danke
.”

“I insist,” Sara said, a smile on her face as she, once again, touched the empty
space beside her.

To Anna's surprise, Freman reached for her arm, his touch sending a shiver throughout
her body. If the close proximity in which he stood to her didn't unsettle her, the
physical contact with him did. He guided her toward the carriage. Speechless, Anna
followed. Truly, she had no choice. Wordlessly, he placed his hand out, gesturing
toward the buggy, quietly insisting that she oblige Sara's request.

Stunned, Anna stared at him as she settled into the carriage. His perception that
she had been tired from the walk and his resolution to tend to her needs left her
wordless. How was it possible that, despite his apparent resentment and disdain on
account of the pain she caused him so long ago, he still remained sensitive to her
unspoken needs?

She stared at him as George clicked his tongue for the horse to start trotting down
the remainder of the lane toward the farm. He, however, did not look after her, for
he had already returned his attention to Leah and Hannah. No one seemed to think
twice of Freman's gesture; however, Anna knew that it spoke of a remaining sentiment
that, while lost to another now, still indicated a degree of unstated friendship
and spoke highly of his fine character.

“I do believe,” Sara said to her husband, obviously unaware of Anna's thoughts, “that
we shall have a wedding soon,
ja
?”

“You women! Always trying to guess what's on a man's mind.” George laughed at the
expression on his wife's face. “It's a wonder anything is left to privacy at all!”

“George!”

Sobering, he reached over and covered her hand with his, the teasing clearly over.
“Although I do admit that he does seem intent to call on one of those Musser girls.”

Unable to mask her dismay, Anna stared straight ahead at the house as the buggy approached
it. While Freman's interest in the two sisters, particularly Leah, was more than
apparent to her, Anna couldn't help but feel a tightness in her chest when George
spoke his opinion. Those words! So direct and candid. A truth spoken was more bitter
than a truth suspected.

Before George turned down the driveway, Anna tried to change the subject. She noticed
a light from the kitchen glowing through the front window. She pointed toward it
and changed the subject. “It's later than I thought if the lamp was lit. I do hope
that little Cris and Walter didn't give Salome any troubles,” she managed to say,
eager to disembark from the carriage.

After thanking them for their kindness, she quickly retreated into the house to relieve
Salome. She was grateful that, being tired herself, the older woman did not stay
to visit. Instead, she bid Anna good night, obviously eager to return to her own
home. For Anna, it was a relief to shut the door and lean against it, catching her
breath from the conflicting emotions that raced through her.

Had he returned to Charm already married and with
kinner
, surely she could have borne
that in much grander style,
mayhaps
even joy! But to watch the unfolding of a courtship
right under her nose? It was more than she could bear, although bear it she had to
for there was no alternative. Choices had been made, even if she now recognized
the coercion and ugly prejudice from both Lydia and her
daed
. She did not blame them;
nee
, she only blamed herself. After all, she had lacked the fortitude to stand up
to them or to suggest to Freman that they should wait patiently until he had established
himself and proven his viability as a carpenter. But not knowing how to navigate
the stormy waters between two men she cared so much about, father and fiancé, she
had thought it better to follow her father's wishes. The hurt that she had felt at
her breakup with Freman was almost as great as the hurt from the idea of having to
attend his wedding to Leah Musser.

She heard voices approaching, the high-pitched shrill sound of Mary's words mercifully
countered by the soft, gentle baritone of Freman's voice. When Anna heard the group
nearing the house, she suspected that they would sit inside to visit. Alarmed, she
hurried toward the stairs.

The comfort of her small room beckoned her, its darkness a shield from the pain
that she felt in her heart. Despite knowing that it was not quite adequate, she also
knew that it was the only safe harbor for the emotional storm that brewed inside
of her.

Chapter Seven

L
ANCASTER?”

Anna wasn't certain if she had correctly heard Leah and Hannah. It was Monday morning
and they had just burst into Mary's kitchen, laughing with glowing faces. They both
talked at once as they practically jumped up and down, looking more like schoolchildren
than young women of eighteen and twenty. Anna laughed at their jubilation, especially
when little Cris followed their example, bouncing on his feet and knocking into
Walter. When the younger boy fell to the floor, Anna was quick to pick him up and
make him giggle before he could think of complaining.

“Heavens to Betsy!” Mary scowled. “Such a ruckus! And what an example you are setting
for Cris and Walter!”

No one listened as Leah took a hold of Cris's hands and spun around, both laughing.
Walter, quite content to sit on Anna's lap, clapped his hands. Hannah sat down at
the table, a big smile on her face as she watched her older sister.

“If you happen to think about calming down,” Mary said, “
mayhaps
you'll tell us what
brought on this childish display. What is this about Lancaster I hear?”

“Freman is headed there to visit his cousin,” Leah gushed, her eyes glancing in Hannah's
direction at the mention of Freman, a look of advantage in her eyes. “His cousin,
Benjamin Esh, suffered a great loss recently, and Freman intends to visit him before
the weather changes.”

“A loss?” Anna asked.