Sebastian - Secrets (19 page)

My legs
still wrapped around him, I feel the slick head of his cock pressing at my wetness as he grabs my hips and purposefully guides me down onto his shaft.  He is pounding into me again and again as his grip on my hips controls the pace of our movements, forcing me to ride him faster and faster, down harder and deeper - chasing our orgasms together. I feel the delicious waves coursing through me as I grind down harder, taking all of him greedily.   His breath catches as he finds his own his release, the spasms of his climax shuddering through my core.  The strength leaves my body as my climax abates - I sag forward into his arms, not daring to move my hips or legs, wanting him inside me still.  Savouring this moment neither of us moves, and the dying fire throws just enough heat to warm my buttocks and back.

“You’re so amazing…” I whisper. “This is what I’ve been missing all these years.”
At this moment I feel a flood of warm emotion and gratitude toward Sebastian.  Could this be love?

“You’re pretty amazing too, Mrs. Dove,” he murmurs as he plants a gentle kiss on my forehead.  He strokes my hair as he holds me.  I’ve longed for this for so long, fantasising and imagining how good sex could be. I feel almost drunk with contentment right now.  Our breathing steadies, my eyes are heavy and I listen to the faint ticking of the Grandfather clock mirroring Sebastian’s heartbeat and breathing and it lulls me. My eyes lazily adjust to the growing darkness of the room as the fire fizzles out… and then I see her!

16

A shadow at first, it could be the failing light playing tricks on my eyes but then the shadow moves … the shape is that of a woman, I’m certain.  It moves from its’ position by the long heavy drapes at the mullioned window and glides silently toward the door.  My breath catches.  I sit up and my eyes are wide now, trying desperately to focus and the doorway is more illuminated with the light from the hallway casting sufficient yellow glow upon the shadow to reveal that it is not a ghost, it’s her… Scarlett.

“Oh my God,” I gasp, “Scarlett was right here … watching us!” I feel his body stiffen.             

“Where?” he asks and I detect just a hint of annoyance in his voice
, but certainly not the shock that I feel and that unnerves me. 

“Over by the window, she must have been watching us the whole time.  When I saw her she left.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Elizabeth,” he scoffs.  “Why the hell would Scarlett be watching us? Anyway, so what if she was?” 
So what
? Is this another, freaky ‘normality’ in this house?  Voyeurism certainly is not normal in my humble opinion and after … what we did!  I’m furious suddenly, and I want answers from her, as it’s painfully obvious that none shall be forthcoming from him.

“I’m sorry Sebastian, it may be perfectly acceptable to you but not to me.  I’m going to ask her what the hell she was doing spying on us.”  I get up quickly pulling my robe tightly around
me, tie the belt firmly, and leave before he has the opportunity to stop me.  I exit the great hall and make my way to the kitchen but when I enter, the room is empty.  

Instinct takes me to Sebastian’s study next and I find the door ajar.  I can hear Sebastian moving a
round in the great hall, and imagine that he’s hastily putting on his clothes and is sure to follow me.  I move hastily through the doorway, which hides the steps to the basement and, flicking the light switch on, begin my descent.

Scarlett’s door is closed but I don’t bother knocki
ng. I firmly twist the handle and open the door, to find Scarlett sat at her dressing table brushing her long dark hair.  She turns as I enter her room, her rosebud lips pursed at the intrusion.  “Excuse me, don’t you ever knock?” she asks indignantly.

“No I don’t bloody well knock
, and I hardly think you should be questioning me so bloody huffily, when you just spied on us having sex!” I reply, rage turning my cheeks red now, my hands firmly on my hips in a challenging stance.

“Believe me, Elizabeth, you’ve a lot to learn if you find that so disconcerting,” she retorts and continues
languidly brushing her glossy locks. 

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” I screech.  She’ still brushing, and I’m tempted to rip out a handful of her
lustrous dark hair at this point.

“What exactly upset you?  Was it the fact that you were watched
- or the fact that you were watched doing things you haven’t done before?” 

I’
m horrified by her insolence but she continues.  “Because it seems to me, Elizabeth, that you’re ashamed and truly, you have nothing to be ashamed about – it’s all perfectly natural.”  I take a step back, trying to comprehend what she’s saying to me.

“It’s not natural Scarlett
… to watch two people having sex is absolutely not natural, and I don’t think Sebastian is happy at all about you watching us.” 

“Oh?  I think you’ll find he
’s fine about it Elizabeth, why don’t you ask him?”  The blatantly disrespectful harlot has gone too far, and I intend to see to it that Sebastian dismisses her ass immediately.

“Ask me what
?”  Sebastian stands in the doorway, one arm resting on the frame and the other stroking his chin, his expression unreadable.  I spin around and beseech him to take action against the tramp.

“She admits spying on us Sebastian!  You have to fire her
…” I exclaim in exasperation, ignoring his question.  His eyes are on hers I notice, not mine and I click my fingers at him impatiently to snap his attention back to me.

“Admits it hmm?” he turns his gaze to me now.  “
Some people find it rather erotic being watched.  Does that not turn you on?” he asks, his eyebrow arched awaiting my reply.  I’m speechless. 

“
Hello? Am I the only person here who has a sense of decency?” my high-pitched voice enquires, my eyes darting from him to her.  Neither of them shows any sign of remorse.  Each has a smile on their lips – a knowing smile as if they’re part of a club and I’m the outsider, not party to some secret handshake or coded language. 

Scarlett sighs,
puts her hairbrush down onto her dressing table and rises.  She’s wearing a sheer white night dress made of delicate tulle, the thin straps barely supporting the floaty garment.  I can see the dark shadow of her nipples through the fabric - the outline of her slim figure silhouetted by the lamp on her nightstand.  She’s so beautiful – an ethereal beauty.   I feel sure Sebastian has noticed her near nudity.

“Come Elizabeth
,” he proffers his hand toward me but I ignore it, shooting him a disdainful glare.  I want him to object and hiss at her but instead he continues to hold out his hand to me.

He’
s staring at Scarlett - at that moment I’m sure that they are still lovers, and it sickens me to my core. 

Scarlett steps toward me and sh
e, too, reaches out for me.  I’m between them both.  Each is reaching for me and yet I trust neither and I back away from both, until I feel the cold metal of her bed frame behind my knees.  She reaches me, where I stand, her arms encircling me.  She embraces my rigid body – rendered immobile by the shock of her audacity - her lips close to my ears, her warm breath against my neck and she whispers,  “everything’s fine, sweet girl, you have nothing to worry about, you’re here where you belong …” She releases me from her embrace and pads barefoot to Sebastian’s side where they both regard me with matching smirks.  “I think we’ll be good friends Elizabeth, we’ve a lot in common – more than you think,” she says.

“Ok, I get it,” I snarl
.  “It’s still going on isn’t it?” I look from one to the other but neither seems to be willing to explain anything to me.  Then Sebastian moves toward me and takes my hand, pulling me down with him to sit on the side of the bed.  He looks up at Scarlett and I notice the coldness in her expression as she eyes Sebastian’s arm around my waist protectively, she averts her eyes from his. 

“I’d rather eat my own eyeballs, than be friends with you, lady,” I hiss at Scarlett.

Scarlett sighs resignedly. “You need to lighten up. You really do not want to make an enemy of me, trust me.”

“Is that a threat?” I yell, harnessing the last remnants of self-control so as not to slap her smug face.
             

“
Enough, you two,” he barks sharply.  Leave us Scarlett I want to talk to Elizabeth in private.”

“Yes Sir, if you need me I’ll be in the kitchen, I’ll make cocoa.”  She closes the
bedroom door behind her and we’re alone. 

I chew my lip nervously, feeling unexpectedly self-conscious in his presence now and feeling angry and hurt too.  Jealous – I feel
insanely jealous of the bond that the two of them clearly share.

“I want to know,” I declare.  “If you and Scarlett
still sleep together, then I have a right to know; though how you manage to maintain the charade of ‘employer,’ I have no idea.  It’s just plain weird Sebastian  - plain weird and wrong.”  He’s still clutching my hand in his and when I try to withdraw it he increases his grip.

“We don’t sleep together Elizabeth, I promise you that,” he says quietly.

“I don’t believe you,” I whisper, tears pricking my eyes as my dreams are shattered, as the brutal reality of his betrayal crushes my heart.  Then the anger boils within me.  “No, I get it.  God I’m stupid; you have free sex with me – hell it’s probably a novelty for you not to have to pay for it!  Shit, I’m so stupid, men are all the same; why did I think you’d be different?” 

He places a finger across my lips to hush m
e and turns my chin so that he’s looking into my watery eyes.

“It’s not like that Elizabeth
, and you’ll see that if you give me … us … a chance. This isn’t about me - it’s about you.  You’ve been goodness knows how many years living a frigid and suppressed existence and what you’ll find here is the panacea to your discontent. You’ve so many insecurities.  Fuck, what has he done to you?  You see only the darkness, never the light.”

He wipes away the tears, which roll down my cheek, but I flinch at his touch
, confused at his aptitude for turning the tables so intuitively, when I am still mad at him.

“I want to unlock your deepest desires and release your inhibitions and frustration my darling.  Think of your time here with me as your time to be who you want to be.  No one here will judge you or disapprove of anything you do or say.  Equally, you must afford the same courtesy to me, to live as I please and be who I am, without judging me or thinking you can change me.  You have to trust me.  Everything I do, or ask you to do, is in your best interests. Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know… I want to but it’s all so far removed from my normal life.
  To lose control, like you want me to, is so alien to me.  I need time.  Shit, I feel jealous of her.  You have to understand that I’ve no self-confidence any more.  I doubt myself all the time.  Why the hell are you with me?”

He pauses while he digests what I’ve said to him

“Y
ou’re my girlfriend Elizabeth, my love.  I’ll take care of you and the children, and I’ll allow you to experience things that you’ve never even fantasised about.  You can pass your fears, your insecurities to me to shoulder them for you, and the real Elizabeth can be free and unburdened.  Now, isn’t that tempting?”  It is tempting, so enticing but so wrong.  He seems to know exactly how to tap into my psyche, to extract my weaknesses and vulnerabilities and lay them bare in front of me.  I find myself aroused by his offer – like Eve wanting to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, aware of the dire consequences, but giving in to temptation regardless.

I’
ve always been one to push boundaries and take risks, never overly dwelling on the consequences of my actions, nor analysing potential pitfalls prior to choosing a path to follow.  It doesn’t surprise me how easily I push aside the weird freakery of this house.  My inner she-devil is awakening after a seventeen-year hibernation, and I’m sure there is little that can stop her. 

“I don’t want to
be made to feel jealous about Scarlett.  What you do when I’m not here is up to you but when I am here, you are only with me.  Understood?” 
What on earth am I suggesting
? 
It will never be alright for him to be with her, under any circumstances.

“Only you,” he sooths
.  “There is only you, anything Scarlett and I shared was superficial and short-lived.  I’ve told you this before.  She’s a vulnerable girl and sometimes her expectations and romanticism needs to be tempered, and I will do so.  She’s not a threat to us, Elizabeth.”

“She needs to be reminded to respect our privacy.  You and she may think it’s ok to do all manner of things, but I’m not like that.”

His hand strokes my back in comforting circular movements.  His deep hazel eyes are unflinching as they stare into my soul.  “We just live a more liberal lifestyle here.  Don’t judge us here.  Just know how I feel about you.”

“It’s bloody perverse
though,” I counter.  He shakes his head in apparent exasperation before leading me from Scarlett’s bedroom. 

There is
so very much to absorb and think about, but right now, I am exhausted.  I’ll think about all this evening’s weirdness in the morning. It’s Christmas Eve and I want my children to have a happy day tomorrow.