Seasons of Her Life (7 page)

Amber's thoughts boiled. She didn't want to go back to Barstow. She didn't want to live in her parents' house, and she didn't want to work in the shirt factory. If her father decided to come here and yank both of them home, she knew she didn't have the guts to put up a fight. Ruby did, though. Ruby would fight to the death, and she'd made a deadly enemy of Ruby tonight. Even though she was twenty-one going on twenty-two, and of age, she knew she didn't have the nerve to cross her father. Ruby had guts. She'd thumb her nose at George and make him carry her, kicking and screaming, all the way back to Barstow, while she herself meekly climbed into the car and said, “Yes, sir, I'm happy to be going home, and sir, I'm sorry I failed you.” A vision of Ruby thumbing her nose at their father brought a smile to her lips. She wished she could fall off the face of the earth into a deep hole that would truly route her to China. Her father would never find her in China.

A second vision of her father leering lasciviously at Grace Zachary made her want to vomit. All the neighbors looked at Grace in her shorts and skimpy halters. She wondered if her father ever saw her mother naked. Not likely, she decided. That was sinful, decadent, and wicked. It was a mystery how she'd ever been born. But then, she hadn't exactly been born. She'd come down as an angel. As long as she believed that, all the rest was bearable. This was simply temporary until ... Until what, she asked herself wearily. Until what?

“Till marriage,” she said aloud in the elevator. Nangi had spoken of marriage and going back home. He'd hinted, but he hadn't asked. His home was on the other side of the world. Her father couldn't touch her that far away. He'd also disown her. One of these days she was going to decide just how much that mattered to her.

 

The day was misty, overcast, with gray, plodding clouds circling overhead. Not a day for the zoo, Ruby decided when she bounded out of bed. Damn, the weather report predicted clear, sunny skies. Sunrise was a mere five minutes away. Ruby crossed her fingers. “Don't spoil my day,” she murmured to the empty room.

Her eyes fell on the wicker picnic basket, compliments of Nola. She had hoped to go with Calvin to the park after the zoo. “I emptied out my sewing box and lined it with a dish towel. I won't be doing any sewing today,” she'd said cheerfully. Nola had the answer to all her social problems. Now all she had to do was stop at the corner delicatessen and pick up ham and cheese sandwiches, Coca-Cola, hard-boiled eggs, and some peaches. Maybe a square of cheese for nibbling. It wouldn't hurt to get some potato chips, too.

She was flush, as Nola would say. With her paycheck yesterday Captain Dennison had given her a card with twenty-five dollars in it and a note saying she was the best secretary he'd ever had. He'd also wished her luck in her new job with Admiral Query, which she was to start on Monday. The moment she cashed her check at lunchtime, she'd gone to the personnel office and handed over her final payment to the director. She was now seven dollars ahead of the game and in debt to no one, a feeling she liked. The picnic would wipe out the seven dollars, but she didn't mind.

She should be thinking about her new job, planning her weekly wardrobe, and mapping out the way to the Pentagon, but that was pretty much a waste of time, as she would be moving in another week.

Ruby opened the window. Hot, humid air, thick as soup, rushed into the room. She closed the window just as fat raindrops began to fall. The leaves weren't moving. Her grandmother always said if you could see the underside of the leaves, there would be a storm, and that if rain fell in fat drops, it wouldn't last. Ruby crossed her fingers.

By the time she dressed and brushed her hair the rain had lessened and faint streaks of sunshine could be seen. She sighed happily. Somebody must be watching over her. Sunshine was important for this particular day.

Over a breakfast of coffee, juice, and toast at the Hot Shoppe, Ruby ran over the dialogue she would have with Amber on her return. Lie or not to lie? It all depended on Amber's mood. She dawdled over a second cup of coffee until it was nine-fifteen. Amber always got up at nine on weekends.

“You'd better not give me any grief, Amber,” she muttered as she made her way back to the Y.

Ruby spotted her sister in a local coffee shop. She was alone with a copy of
Redbook
open in front of her. Amber looked up as Ruby came to her booth.

“You aren't going to spoil my day, are you, Ruby?” she snapped.

“No. You don't mind if I go to the zoo this afternoon, do you? And to the park for a picnic. Nola gave me this great basket.”

Amber waited a long moment before she replied. When she spoke, she barely moved her lips. “Are you going with your friend?” The word friend sounded obscene coming from Amber.

Ruby nodded.

“You'll be back around suppertime?”

It was a question Ruby wasn't prepared for. She shrugged.

“Is that a yes or no?” Amber asked.

“I thought about going to the movies, the early show; it lets out around nine.
The African Queen
is supposed to be good. I can't get into any trouble at the movies, Amber.”

Amber debated another full minute. The zoo was okay, a picnic was okay, and the movie ... “You should start to make other friends. I told you before, I don't like that skinny girl.”

Here it comes, Ruby thought. She waited.

“When we move to Mount Pleasant, I don't want to see you palling around with her.”

Ruby would have agreed to anything just to get out of Amber's sight. She hadn't had to lie outright, either, which had to mean Amber had plans of her own. From the looks of things, Andrew Blue was going to give her more than one alibi.

How was she ever going to juggle things to keep everyone happy? Ruby made a mental note to start writing things down, and that thought reminded her to write to Opal and her grandmother.

 

Ruby left the Y at eleven o'clock to stop at a deli on Ninth Street, where she filled Nola's sewing basket with a delectable lunch. She dropped the two letters she'd written in a mailbox on the way. She'd planned on walking to the zoo, but the basket was heavier than she anticipated, so she turned right on Connecticut Avenue and boarded the trolley that would leave her off at Woodley Road and the entrance to the zoo.

She felt wonderful. The sun was definitely out now, the sky a rich blue with marshmallow clouds. She looked good, too, she thought, in her pink-and-blue plaid playsuit. Nola had sewn inch-wide white rick-rack around the legs, the collar, and pockets to give the outfit a touch of what she called Rubyism. She'd even lent Ruby her white sandals, which she'd polished till they looked almost new, and two combs for her hair.

Ruby craned her neck over the visiting throngs of tourists, parents, toddlers, and infants in buggies. Ahead she could hear the tinny music of an organ grinder. Thick, earthy, musty smells assaulted her as she searched for a bench. She wished she had sunglasses.

After what seemed a long time later, Ruby stopped an elderly couple to ask the time. “One o'clock, dear,” the white-haired lady said gently. “Are you waiting for someone?”

Ruby flushed, and her gaze dropped to the picnic hamper.

“Perhaps your friend is waiting at one of the other entrances.”

“Other entrance?” Ruby said blankly. “You mean there's more than one entrance?”

“Yes, child.” With the help of her husband, the woman offered directions to Hawthorne and Cathedral. Ruby sprinted off, the picnic basket banging against her legs.

He had to be there. Surely he would wait. She felt stupid; she should have checked to see if there were other entrances. By now Calvin should have done the same thing. “He probably thinks I stood him up,” Ruby muttered as she careened around a fat lady tottering after two dogs snarling in their leashes.

Ruby and Calvin spotted each other at the same time. The annoyance Ruby felt disappeared as soon as she saw the anxiety leave Calvin's face.

“I was waiting at the Woodley Road entrance,” she said breathlessly. Her tone was sharper than she intended. He should have known about the entrances.

“I'm sorry. It never occurred to me that there might be more than one entrance. I've never been here. I thought that maybe you had decided today wasn't such a good idea after all.” He was so apologetic, so ... obsequious that Ruby's eyes sparkled with irritation.

“You aren't going to pull that ... you're better than me routine, are you?” Ruby demanded. “You made a mistake and so did I. Let's forget it, okay?” she said.

Calvin reached down for Ruby's hand. “I would have come looking for you,” he blurted out.

It was a lie, she decided. He would have waited till four o'clock in the hot sun because he couldn't bear to search Ruby out for fear she'd stood him up.

“When?” Ruby teased. “When would you have started looking? You know, Calvin, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. For instance, if something came up, say I got sick or something. There is no way I can get in touch with you. I wouldn't know who to call to ask for you at the base.”

“I know. I guess it's just hard for me to believe you ... want to go out with me,” Calvin said miserably, his grasp on her hand tighter.

For a fleeting instant Ruby felt as though she were the protector, motherly somehow, to this shy young man. To a degree she understood his feelings of insecurity; after all, who was more insecure than she was? She had to bring a smile to Calvin's face so their day wouldn't be ruined.

“I wish I had a camera so I could take your picture, Calvin.”

“To remember me by?” Calvin asked, tight-lipped.

“No, well, yes, in a way. You see, I bought this photo album for my sister, but she was so nasty, I never gave it to her. Kind of silly, huh? Anyway, you look so handsome in your summer blues, I wanted you to be my first picture. If I had a camera.”

“I have a camera. I'll bring it next time, okay?”

“I'll buy the film,” Ruby volunteered. “We'll get two sets of prints, one for you, one for me.”

“Sounds good. I'll bring it tomorrow. We're still on, aren't we?”

“Let's sit over here on this bench, Calvin. I have to talk to you about something. I don't want you to get upset or anything, but I know you will. At first I was going to make up a story, tell you a lie so I wouldn't hurt your feelings, but you're twenty-four years old,” Ruby said as though that would make her explanation more tolerable. “Hold my hand and look at me while I explain. And don't be a shithead,” she said, using one of Captain Dennison's favorite expressions.

Calvin listened, his face glum, as Ruby told him what she was going to do in order to keep seeing him. His expression told her he didn't like it, not one damn bit, but he nodded. “How often will you be seeing this guy?”

“As little as possible. Calvin, I don't want to go back home. I have to do this.”

Calvin looked at her, saying nothing.

“Are you going to see ... other girls?” Ruby asked hesitantly.

“Hell no. No one is breathing down my neck. I can do whatever I want. It's all right, Ruby, I understand.”

“Listen, I've had enough of the zoo. Let's go to the park, I'm getting hungry.”

His breath exploded in a loud sigh as he reached down to take Ruby's hand. When they reached the park, they found themselves among other couples with picnic baskets looking for a shady spot and privacy. Overhead, birds chittered and squirrels scampered. Ruby laughed and pointed at a baby squirrel that wasn't as fast on his feet as his companions. Calvin stopped and watched. He felt light-headed when Ruby leaned against his shoulder.

He was meticulous, Ruby noticed as he spread the blanket, careful to smooth the corners and wrinkles in the center. As Ruby set out the food, Calvin arranged it geometrically. She felt irritated and didn't know why. This was a picnic, not a military drill. Picnics were supposed to be fun, haphazard. Poor Calvin. She wondered what Calvin would do if ants invaded the blanket. Probably panic and shake out the blanket and find a different spot. She couldn't help but laugh at the thought.

An hour later, with no sign of ants, Ruby gathered up the crumbs from their sandwiches and set them on waxed paper at the edge of the blanket. “A detour of sorts.” She giggled. When she turned to face Calvin he was leaning against the tree. Panic seized her. Where was she to sit? His broad back covered the tree trunk. She'd noticed other couples; sometimes the girl had her head in the guy's lap and sometimes the guy had his head in the girl's lap. Whichever way it went, she supposed she was safe.

Calvin motioned for her to sit next to him. He inched his arm up around her. She leaned against him.

Ruby's heart thumped in her chest. This was real ... she was actually sitting with a guy whose arms were around her, and if she was any judge, he was going to kiss her any minute. She sensed that Calvin was no more experienced in the kissing department than she was, so they would probably make a mess of it, but that was okay. They would go slowly and learn together. She felt safe with him. Andrew Blue would touch, or try to, but not Calvin. Damn, she hated it when the marine crept into her thoughts. She snuggled closer, her eyes on the couple down the hill. Talk about a clinch. Mesmerized, she watched a flash of tawny legs as the girl moved and thrashed about on the blanket. The fella seemed to have four hands, and they were everywhere. She heard Calvin suck in his breath and realized his arm had tightened its hold. She burrowed deeper into his arms; strange feelings rushed through her, feelings she knew her father would call sinful.