Seasons of Her Life (46 page)

Dixie looked as if she wanted to bite off her tongue the minute the words came from her mouth. Tears had come to Ruby's eyes. “Ruby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean . . . no, I'm not sorry. Once you're free, you can do whatever you please.”

“He's married, Dixie. I can't . . . I wouldn't . . . I'm not that kind of person. Calvin is like Nola. They aren't the people I thought they were.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Dixie muttered.

“I say so,” Ruby said through clenched teeth.

A while later, when Dixie had gone, Ruby realized she had to tell the children. She called Martha first.

“Mom, is anything wrong?” Martha asked anxiously. “You never call at this time of day. Aren't you working anymore?”

“As a matter of fact, I got fired today. I didn't realize I was such a creature of habit and routine that you had my calls fine-tuned to a certain time of day, and yes, Martha, something is wrong, depending on your point of view. Should we go through the how-are-you, you-don't-call-often-enough amenities first?”

“Mom, I'm sorry. I know how you loved your job. I spoke to Andy last night and he was fine, so that leaves Dad. Are you calling to tell me something in particular or to discuss whatever it is that's bothering you?” Ruby hated the way her daughter's voice turned reverent when she mentioned her father's name.

“A little of both, I guess. Your father and I are going to separate. We're not going to get a divorce right away. At least I don't think so. This is ... I came to the decision . . . your father doesn't know I'm planning all this, but he will when he gets home.”

“Do you want to tell me why?” Martha asked softly.

“Yes, I do, Martha, but I don't want to upset you.”

“Mom, when it comes to Dad, you can't upset me. I'm not a kid anymore. Tell me what he did to make you reach this point.”

Ruby told her. Once or twice she thought she heard her daughter gasp, but it was probably her imagination or, worse yet, her own guilt.

“It doesn't surprise me,” Martha drawled. “I thought it was kind of funny when he called and asked if I could lay my hands on eight hundred fifty dollars real quick. Don't panic, Mom, I didn't give it to him. I called Andy and asked if he had any idea why Dad would need money. Andy said he bet on sports events and the horses. He told me not to give it to him.”

“Martha, I'm sorry. I didn't know. This whole thing just socked me between the eyes. I guess I've been living in my own little dream world too long.”

“Are you gonna be all right, Mom?”

“I'm fine, honey. Don't worry about me.”

“You want to know something, Mom? You are the most together lady I know.”

“Thank you, Marty,” Ruby said proudly.

“Listen, I have a date, but I can call you later tonight, and we can have a real gab session. You probably want to call Andy now, since it's suppertime and you'll catch him in.”

Ruby laughed. “You could always anticipate me.”

“One more thing, Mom. Don't let Dad buffalo you. Stand firm. I'm behind you, and Andy is, too. I love you. Bye, Mom.”

Ruby smiled. It was good to know she had the support of the children. She dialed her son's number.

“Yo, Ma! How's it going?” Andy boomed.

“Some days good, some days not so good. This is one of those not-so-good days, Andy. I'm filing for a legal separation from your father. I wanted you to know. Your father is going to move out of the house, probably tonight. I'm going to pack his things after I hang up.”

“What'd he do this time?”

She told him.

“You okay, Ma?”

“I'm fine, Andy. That's not exactly true, but I will be fine. I got fired today, and Dixie and I are going into business.”

“Do you want me to come home? I can be there in forty-five minutes.”

“Absolutely not! Andy, don't lend your father any money. Marty told me you knew he was gambling. Is that true?”

“Yes and no. I suspected. I heard him a couple of times on the phone. Everyone lays down a bet at sometime or other, but when you gamble the homestead, that's something else. Do what you gotta do, Ma. And if you need money, I have a little put away . . .”

“Andy, no. I'll be fine. Once I sell the house in Georgetown, things will be fine. Promise me you won't worry about me.”

“You got it, Ma. I love you. Call me if you need anything, or even if you just want to talk. I'm a good listener. Be tough, Ma. That's the best advice I can give.”

“I love you, Andy. Talk to you later in the week.”

Ruby wished for a dog, something warm and snuggly that she could hug. Animals were loyal and they loved unconditionally. She had asked Andrew for a dog once, and Andy had cried for weeks after his father refused to be swayed. She should have stood her ground.

In a little less than an hour, Ruby had neatly packed her husband's bags, dusty Gucci luggage he'd purchased without her consent and took on his golfing jaunts, where he said he won prizes of money. She lugged the four matched suitcases out to the hallway. She looked back at the room they'd shared and would never share again. It looked the same. It was as if Andrew had never slept there.

The first time she walked down the stairs, her shoulders were slumped. The second time, her head righted itself. The third time, her shoulders were back. A lone tear trickled down her cheek when she made the last trip down the stairs.

Andrew wouldn't see the bags unless he went into the living room. He wouldn't know that he wasn't going to sleep in this house ever again until she told him. Of course, if he argued with her, didn't take her offer to pay off his debts in exchange for a divorce, he would sleep upstairs, but she wouldn't be in the bed. She knew he'd take her offer because it was his only salvation. Tomorrow she would have the locks changed on all the doors.

The minutes and hours crawled by. Eight o'clock ticked onward to nine, ten, eleven. She stopped watching the clock then and started to pace the kitchen. She stopped to drink two cups of tea. At twenty minutes to one, the Buick's headlights flashed on the window. Ruby drew in her breath and put her hands in the pockets of her robe so her husband wouldn't see them tremble. She clenched her hands into balled fists and gritted her teeth. She was ready.

“Here,” Andrew said, tossing a paper shopping bag full of bills onto the table when he came in. “It's all yours.”

“On one condition,” Ruby said quietly.

Andrew sneered. “You aren't in any position to make deals. Filing late tax returns, forging my name, keeping money that should have been ours, paying that crazy coot of a father with money I could have used. Uh-uh, that won't work. I haven't forgotten St. Andrew's either.”

“I never forged your name. Any time your attorney wants to see the tax returns, he can contact my attorney,” Ruby said in a level voice. “You have no grounds to fight me on, Andrew. If you want to pay a lawyer to find out what I'm telling you is true, then be my guest. It's your money. I don't want anything from you.”

Andrew snarled and stormed about the kitchen. “Now you don't want anything from me. What about before?”

Ruby ignored him. “I have a proposition for you. Would you care to hear it?”

“Not likely. You just get the money together you've been keeping from me and pay off these bills before we lose the house. I never thought you were a sneak like that, Ruby.”

Be tough, Andy'd said.

“Andrew, I'm going to ask you just once more if you want to hear my proposition. If you don't, you can go under with this house, and I'll move back to Washington.”

“You are a living, breathing bitch, do you know that? Okay, what's this proposition that's going to make up for the lies
you've
told all our married life.”

Andrew listened, his eyes narrowed, his face going from red to white and back to red. He raised his hand. Petrified, Ruby remained still. Her mother must have felt like this. Be tough, Andy said.

“If you strike me, I swear to God I'll make you regret it. Please, Andrew, don't be like my father.”

Andrew's hand dropped to his side. He licked his lips. Then he slammed his fist into the wall. He looked pleased when little bits of plaster and paint showered down on the floor.

“You're right, Ruby. As usual,” he said bitterly. “I'll sign whatever you want, but—”

“But what?” Ruby said stonily.

“It seems to me I'm giving up a lot here. You, on the other hand, have some pretty nice cushions to fall back on. Let's not forget the dirty dealing you did behind my back all these years.

I should be compensated for that. I could make a lot of trouble for you legally; but, like you said, why go through all that and pay a lawyer to tell us what we already know? A piece of the house your parents live in in Florida when they kick the bucket. I keep my military pension. Andrew makes it on his own. You don't hit me up for tuition. And,” he said craftily, “if you do decide to go into some kind of business with that cripple, I get a percentage if it gets off the ground. These are
my
terms.”

Ruby's head reeled. She'd been expecting something, but this was almost more than she could comprehend. She nodded numbly, knowing she was probably making the biggest mistake of her life by giving in. But Andrew was the father of her children. Actually, it would be the second biggest mistake. Marrying Andrew had been her biggest.

“Okay,” she said hoarsely. “Tomorrow I'll go to a lawyer and have him draw up an agreement and file for a separation. I want this legal.”

. Andrew smiled. He would be affable now, Ruby thought, even charming. It was after two in the morning when they finally had hammered out an agreement satisfactory to both of them. Andrew would receive semiannually, if the business got off the ground, one and a half percent of the gross. She would pick up all the car insurance premiums, and when the house in Florida was finally sold, he was to get another five percent.

“Okay, I'll need you to write some checks,” he demanded. “To pay off my debts.”

“Not on your life,” Ruby grated. “You get them tomorrow, when you sign the agreement, and not one second before. I want a legal opinion on all of this. Your bags are in the living room. I'll stop by the store tomorrow or you can meet me at the lawyer's office at five o'clock. If there's a change, I'll call you at the store.”

“Jesus Christ, it's three o'clock in the morning. Where am I going to go at this time of night?”

“Try the parking lot at Sears, or an all-night diner,” Ruby said callously. “Out! Now!”

“By God, the nut doesn't fall far from the tree! You really are like your crazy father. You better watch it or you'll end up just like him.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Ruby screeched.

Andrew laughed. “Did I hit a nerve, Ruby? You figure it out.”

Ruby's throat constricted. Her voice, when she managed to speak, was little more than a hoarse croak. “Andrew, why did you marry me?”

“I needed a wife. You were a virgin. You were available.”

If ever Ruby had held any illusions about her marriage, at that moment they shattered. Until now, this very second, she would have gone on with her life just the way it was, and settled for whatever little happiness she could find. Tears blurred her vision as she watched the taillights of Andrew's car until they were tiny red dots in the night. Almost instantly she saw a full set of headlights spring to light down the street. She frowned as the car drew closer and then swerved into her driveway. “Dixie!” she cried, running out the front door.

Dixie laughed. “Jeez, I'm almost frozen. I've been sitting out here since midnight. I thought you might need me. Hugo is dead to the world and I couldn't sleep. Are you okay?”

“Yes, no, oh, hell, Dixie, I don't know . . .” Ruby began to sob.

“You sit right there and don't move. I'm going to turn the heat up, it's freezing in here. You didn't eat, did you? I'll make some eggs and coffee. I'm staying right here till I talk some sense into you. While I'm doing all this, you tell me everything he said and what happened. Exactly as it happened,” Dixie ordered.

When the sun crept over the horizon, neither woman seemed to notice. All night Ruby had talked and Dixie had listened.

Now Ruby eyed the shopping bag Andrew had left. She gave it a kick with her foot and then bent down to pull it closer to her. “I have to go through this. I have a feeling things are worse than Andrew let on. You'd better go home, or Hugo will take a hissy fit. Come back after he goes to work. I'm going to take a shower and go through this stuff. I can't make any decisions until I know how deeply in debt Andrew's put us.”

“Okay,” Dixie said sadly. “But remember to do what your son said. Be tough. You'll make it, I'll be here for you. Together we'll work it out.”

Ruby cried all the way through her shower and while she dressed. She was still crying when she walked downstairs. She managed to fight her tears while she made her phone calls and scribbled notes. Then she made plans.

The very first thing she was going to do when she had money to spare was make a sizable donation to St. Andrew's in Hawaii. She was going to go back there, too, maybe take Martha, if she wanted to go. She'd go to Chapel Hill, too, to see Mrs. Query. She would do all the things Andrew objected to. All the things that were important to her. She'd track down Mabel MacIntyre from the Navy Annex and do something nice for her, too.

Ruby raised the blind at the kitchen window. January was always so cold, and it looked bitter outside. She wondered where Andrew had spent the night.