Seasons of Her Life (30 page)

There were so many things she wanted to say. She knew what the rules were now, so there was little point in saying anything. She nodded.

They made love twice that night and once again in the morning. Ruby made a pretense of enjoying the coupling and faked orgasm all three times.

 

Somehow Ruby managed to get through the holidays and the round of partying that went with the busy season. The Christmas she'd expected didn't happen at all. She blamed her lack of holiday spirit on her tiredness, on Andrew's attitude, and on Dixie's absence at all the festive parties.

It was two days after New Year's when Dixie knocked on Ruby's front door, a plate of holiday cookies in her hand and a small gift-wrapped box in her pocket. She looked the same, Ruby thought as she hugged her warmly and invited her into the kitchen. She immediately put on coffee, and as the first delectable aroma wafted through the kitchen, she bolted to the bathroom. When she returned Dixie was smiling.

“When are you due?” she asked warmly.

“For what?” Ruby asked stupidly.

“You know, the baby. Isn't it wonderful? I'm pregnant, too. I just found out a week before Christmas. Then I came down with this horrendous migraine, the worst I've ever had. I mean I was literally laid up all through the holidays. Hugo didn't want to go to all those parties, but I pushed him out the door. He had to go. You know how it is. Did you make your appointment yet? If not, let's go together.”

Ruby's head whirled in time with her stomach. My God, she was stupid. As the coffee perked, she walked over to the calendar and flipped the pages back to November. With her finger she counted off the days. How could she have been so unbelievably stupid? “Oh, God,” she groaned. “If you hadn't come over here, Dixie, I'd still be thinking I had some kind of flu or something. I'm pregnant!” she yelped.

“You didn't know? Well, congratulations!” Dixie laughed. “I hope this one takes. I've had three miscarriages. What do you want, a boy or a girl?”

Taken off guard with Dixie's words, Ruby blurted out, “A boy. But a girl would be nice. Oh, I don't care.” Later she would add up the times and remember each and every word Dixie said.

“Is Hugo happy about it?”

“Very happy. The other three times we were transferred, and I miscarried as soon as we got settled. It must have been the moves. They're never pleasant, with all that bending and lifting. It doesn't look like we'll be transferred this time, though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'd like a boy, but it doesn't really matter, as long as the baby is healthy.”

“How come you guys keep transferring? Everyone else seems planted for at least a year, mostly two from what I can gather.”

Dixie shrugged her shoulders helplessly. “You get orders and you leave, it's that simple. We've moved a total of seven times in eight years. You learn to live with it.” Ruby found her friend's words strange. She kept quiet, but there was something very wrong here.

“Let's go for a walk,” Dixie said. “It's so crisp and clear outside, it will do both of us a world of good. I've been feeling real pukey lately, and you look like you could use some color in your cheeks.”

Dixie went next door to get her coat.

“A baby,” she said to herself in hushed tones as soon as she was alone. “Andrew's and my baby.”

She wondered if Andrew would be pleased or unhappy with the news. She admitted to herself that she didn't know. When should she tell him? Tonight, or wait till she'd seen the base doctor? She made the decision to wait until she'd gotten the doctor's confirmation.

They walked until there was color in Dixie's cheeks and she complained she couldn't go another step. Ruby looked around for a place to sit, but there was none. “Do you think you can make it back? You can lean on me. I'm sorry, Dixie, I didn't realize we'd come this far.”

“It's okay, I'll make it, we just have to walk slow. I hate it when this pesky leg of mine gives out like this.”

“How'd it happen, Dixie?” Ruby asked bluntly.

Ruby could feel her friend stiffen. “It was the darnedest thing. I fell off the kitchen chair and fractured my hip. I guess you could call it a freak accident. I thought I just hurt it and didn't go to the doctor right away, and when I did it was . . . well, this is the result. Don't feel sorry for me, Ruby, I hate it when people pity me.”

Ruby managed to look properly horrified at the statement. “I wasn't . . . I'm not. The only reason I said anything was it's my fault we came so far and put you through the long walk back.” Fell off the chair, my foot, she thought. More like she was pushed off and denied medical treatment.

There was a hard little edge to Dixie's voice when she said, “I hope we get to stay here for a while now that I have you for a friend.”

“Being pregnant at the same time will make us closer than ever. You have to teach me how to knit, Dixie. You're so good at crocheting and all that stuff. We can make little sweaters, booties, and hats. Oh, Dixie, we'll have such a good time. As long as you're feeling well. How often do you get those migraine headaches?” Ruby blurted out.

Dixie blinked. “Ah ... well, it all depends on ... the weather mostly,” she said weakly. “Sometimes if I eat too many sweets one will ... hit me.” She was talking too fast and not meeting Ruby's gaze. “Or, when I get my period . . . guess I won't have to worry about that now.”

“No, I mean, do they come once a month, every six weeks, every three months? My old boss at the Pentagon used to get them every two weeks.”

Dixie cringed. “Why are you asking me all these questions? If you really need to know, I'd say . . . every six weeks or so.”

“Next time you get one, you let me know, and I won't bang on your door or ring your phone off the hook,” Ruby said cheerfully. “That must drive you batty.”

“I didn't mean to be sharp with you, Ruby, I'm just tired.”

“We'll be home soon. I'll make us a nice cup of tea, and we'll both feel better. Boy, I wish I could afford a car.”

“Me, too. Things would be a lot easier.”

“Isn't there anything to do around here to earn extra money?”

Dixie shook her head. “Even if there were, our husbands wouldn't let us take a job. Hugo simply would not permit it. Officers' wives don't work, didn't Andrew tell you that?”

Ruby shook her head. “I hate penny-pinching,” she said. “When I was on my own I did it, but it didn't seem so bad somehow. Now I have to worry about Andrew and pretty soon a baby. I just thought there would be more money at the end of the month.”

“It's a vicious circle, Ruby. The only way you get more money is if you move up in rank. But then you have to entertain more, dress better, buy better cuts of meat, so it goes that way. We chose this life, so we're stuck with it.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I'm going to give this some thought. There has to be a way to make money that our husbands won't object to. Even if they do, so what? Money in the bank and steak on the table has to count.”

“I can't help you, Ruby. Hugo is adamant on my not working. Lord, we're home. I can't wait to sit down. I think my feet are frozen. Ruby, don't stir up a hornet's nest, okay?”

“Okay,” Ruby said agreeably. She had no intention of doing any such thing.

During the following days Ruby felt the effects of her pregnancy more and more. Her bouts with morning sickness, afternoon sickness, and evening sickness abated during the first week in February, to her relief, but her weight started to drop, and when she went to the base clinic she was stunned to see that she weighed only ninety-one pounds. She looked awful, tired and pale, with horrible half moons under her eyes that no amount of powder could erase. Andrew, while not alarmed, had commented more than once on what he called her scarecrow appearance. Dixie, on the other hand, positively glowed with good health. Her hair was thick and lustrous, and her eyes sparkled with happiness. She suffered no sickness of any kind and ate more than her husband. In the fourth month of her pregnancy she'd already gained eleven pounds; Ruby, approaching her third month, had lost seven. Dixie was so deliriously happy that Ruby found herself envying the lame girl.

Both girls walked out of the clinic, Dixie with a bottle of vitamins and Ruby with the doctor's confirmation that she was pregnant. It was February 13, the day before Valentine's Day.

“What are you wearing to the dance tomorrow?” Ruby asked as they walked along at a slow pace.

Dixie laughed. “Nothing fits. Monica gave me a maternity top that's red and white, kind of in the spirit of the day, if you know what I mean. It seems kind of foolish to start wearing maternity clothes already. People will think I'm showing off my condition.” She giggled. “Oh, Ruby, I am going to love this baby so much. I'm going to rock it and sing to it and kiss and hug it as much as I can. I already love it,” she said, patting her stomach. “I asked Hugo if we could put the crib in our room, but he thinks the baby should have its own room, so I'm trying to get a picture in my mind of how I can fix up that little cubicle next to our room as a nursery. It's not as big as the room you have, but then, this little fella will need only a crib and a small dresser. I've never been so happy. You feel that way, too, don't you?”

“I guess so,” Ruby said listlessly. “Maybe if I weren't so wrung out, I'd be as excited as you are.”

“You
do
look tired, Ruby. I think you should go home and put your feet up and relax a little. I'll get you a cup of tea and some of the spiced cookies I made yesterday. Now that your stomach is settling down, you're going to have to build your strength back up. A banana, too,” she said in a motherly tone.

“Okay. Tea and cookies and a banana. Sounds great.”

“A nap might not be such a bad idea, either,” Dixie said as she bustled about Ruby's kitchen.

“Stop being so bossy,” Ruby grumbled. “Besides, I have to write a letter to Admiral and Mrs. Query. Did I tell you they're coming to North Carolina ten days from now? They have a house in Chapel Hill, and Admiral Query knows General Frankel. They're going to play golf and chess. We're supposed to have dinner together. Here. Can you just picture that? General Frankel and his wife are coming, too. I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't. I'm afraid to tell Andrew. I'll have to serve a roast or a turkey or something. I think that's what's been making me so irritable and sick. I don't have the right kind of dishes or a fancy tablecloth or anything like that. I know how terrible I look and I'm pregnant. It's awful,” Ruby groaned.

Dixie placed the cup of tea on a little table next to Ruby's chair. “Listen to me, Ruby. Both of those muckety-mucks were once exactly where Andrew is. Their wives were where you are. They won't have forgotten that. The fact that they
want
to come here has to mean they haven't forgotten. I bet anything they're all looking forward to it, and if you want my advice, I wouldn't worry about a roast or a turkey or anything expensive like that. You serve them that mess that won you the best leftover prize. Wine is cheap enough, so that's no problem. If you try to be something you're not, they'll see right through you. The admiral and his wife like
you.
You be yourself and nothing will go wrong. Trust me, Ruby. Now, while you're resting, I'll call around and see what I can find in the way of a tablecloth that isn't patched and see if anyone has a matching set of dishes and glassware. Don't worry about cleaning before they come. We'll all pitch in. Everything is under control!” Dixie said gleefully.

By nightfall the word was over the entire base that the Blues were entertaining flag officers in their apartment. When the word filtered down to Andrew, he covered his shock well and raced to the nearest pay phone to call Ruby, who didn't deny the story.

“Jesus Christ, Ruby, you could have told me!” Andrew blustered. “Where are we going to get the money to take them to dinner?”

“I'm cooking, Andrew. My brussels sprout casserole, the one that won the prize. I'll even make garlic bread. Wine is all we have to buy. The admiral invited himself. He also invited the general. Do you know how to say no to a general? Well? I thought not. But don't worry. The Querys are very nice people. It's going to be fine,” Ruby said in a shaky voice.

“Yeah, just fine. Do you have any idea of what I'm in for here now that that story is out?” Andrew muttered.

“The bottom line, as you tell me all the time, Andrew, is they all wish they were standing in your shoes. If it will make you feel any better, tell them, and this is the truth, that the admiral and his wife are
my
friends. Of course, if you want to feather your own nest, say they're friends of yours, too. I have to go now, Andrew. Mrs. Everly asked me to call her, and I'm late now. I'll see you when you get home, okay?” Ruby could hear her husband muttering as she hung up the phone.

Ruby slept, her body finally relaxed. She was still sleeping when Andrew walked through the door at five-thirty. His first anxious thought when he saw Ruby was that something was wrong. Ruby never napped. She didn't have time. It must be the business with the admiral and general coming to dinner. Now that he was over the shock, he felt rather proud that his wife had a flag officer for a friend. There was no way the dinner party could hurt him. If anything, it might help him.

Ruby woke when she heard the soft tinkle of silver and china in the kitchen. “Andrew, is that you?”

“It is, unless you're secretly entertaining some other guy I don't know about. I tried to be quiet.”