Authors: Desiree Wilder
“Shit,” I think she said,
but she wasn’t quite awake. She tried to reach up to her head.
“Brynn,” I whispered, “Just relax,
you’re gonna be okay.” I gently pushed her arm back to her side.
“Sean?”
“Yes, Brynn, it’s Sean,” I smiled at her unfocused eyes. She squinted and then grinned a little.
“I fell back,” she said.
“Yes, you did,” I chuckled.
“You were being a baby,” she said.
She’s gonna be fine.
“Yes, I was.” She was funny when she was delirious.
“What’s your name, Miss?” The paramedic was suddenly in her face.
“Brynn,” she said.
“What happened?” he asked.
“We were making out and I fell backwards into the corner of the cupboard.” I just shook my head and smiled at her. So honest, all the time.
The paramedic looked at me and chuckled. “Well, you need to be more careful next time.”
“For sure,” she said.
He checked her out and said she was going to need stitches. He was also concerned about the loss of consciousness and said they’d need to check her out at the hospital. As soon as we got there, I called and got my shift covered for the night, knowing there was no way I was leaving her alone.
Her doctor was really cool and when Brynn told him we’d been making out on the countertop when she fell back, I thought he was gonna die laughing. “You’re a lucky guy,” he told me. He was less concerned about the loss of consciousness when he found out that was after she saw the blood, but he did a couple of tests
, anyway. He said her motor skills were great and he didn’t foresee any further treatment besides the six stitches.
He told her no shampooing for two days, but she could rinse carefully in the shower to remove the blood. She needed to have someone clean it once a day with a Q-tip and a little soap and water to remo
ve any blood or crust that formed, put on some ointment and a clean bandage. She’d need to come back in seven days to have the stitches removed.
“Can I work out?”
she asked.
“No, not for at least five days. If it looks like it’s healing well, then you can after that, but I’m talking light stuff until after the stitches are out.”
“I’m a dancer,” she said.
“
Not for the next seven days you’re not.” He shook his head.
“Shit,” she said. I squeezed and kissed her hand I’d been holding the entire time.
“Will you be with her tonight?” he asked me. I nodded. “Watch for any warning signs on this sheet, especially in the next twenty-four hours, just in case.” He handed me a paper about head injuries and what to watch for afterwards.
“She’s in good hands,” I told him.
Brynn was quite depressed about them having to shave some of her hair, but they did a really good job by only taking what they absolutely had to. The layers above the wound would cover the spot pretty well, I told her. I couldn’t really tell with the bandage on it, but it made her feel better so I went with it.
As soon as we got back to my place
, Brynn called her boss. He was really nice about it and told her to try to enjoy some of her time off since she never took vacation days. She looked sad when she hung up.
“I’m sorry,” I told her.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Partially.”
“Well,” she smiled, “I was being greedy by wanting my entire neck kissed. I couldn’t be satisfied with only a partial, noooo; I had to have it all.” I laughed with her.
“I love your greediness, it’s very sexy,” I said.
“Is this sexy?” She pointed to her head.
“Yes, it is, because every time I see it, I remember how it happened.” I raised my eyebrows and it made her giggle. “Do you want to take a shower? I could help you get the rest of the blood out of your hair. Then you could relax while I make us some dinner and then maybe a movie or something?” I was going to love taking care of her for the next seven days. Who was I kidding? She’d never let that happen, but at least two or three days, that’d still be good.
“Yeah, that sounds really nice, thank you.”
I made a little shield for her wound so I could get her hair cleaned up without getting her fresh bandage wet. It worked well and a few min
utes later she was as blonde as before. I could tell she wasn’t feeling the best, so after I pampered her in the shower, I helped her get dressed and made her comfortable on the couch.
“Thanks
, Sean, you’re sweet,” she said, barely holding her eyes open.
“You’re sweet
, too,” I told her. “Now get some rest and we’ll eat when you wake up.” She nodded and closed her eyes.
I cleaned the kitchen from breakfast and the accident. I was surprised how much blood
she’d lost in there, but I hadn’t paid too much attention while I was panicking. I took out some chicken breasts and made a salad for dinner. I threw a load of clothes in the wash, put on some quiet music, and sat in the chair in front of Brynn with my laptop. I wanted to be right there when she woke up. It was hard to concentrate on the computer screen with her in the background.
I looked at the concert list Gia had sent again. I was hoping maybe I could talk Brynn into coming with me at the end of the month, but since she was going to miss a week of work now, I knew she wouldn’t take time off a couple of weeks later. I noticed the shows for the upcoming weekend were good.
Could I talk her into going this weekend? Will she be feeling up to it?
I was going to mention it to her and just see how she reacted.
I wanted to go all out for the Fourth of July, but the cupboard incident put a kink in those plans. I searched the web for fun ideas that didn’t involve swimming or physical exertion. I only had the rest of the day to make a plan, which didn’t leave me with a lot of options. She was going to be sore and probably a little tired, so I knew we’d better stick close to home.
I made a plan and got a few things together. I couldn’t believe Brynn was still sleeping, poor thing. I kept checking on her, but she was fine, she hadn’t budged. I needed to get some things from the store, but I’d wait until morning, maybe she’d feel like getting out for a bit by then. I sat in the chair again and made a list of things I needed to pick up. I noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye and when I peeked over, I saw sweet, sleepy eyes looking back at me. I went to her.
“How are you feeling?”
“Sore, but not as groggy.”
“Do you want a pain pill?”
“Do you have any ibuprofen? I think the pain pill is what knocked me out.”
I got her two and a glass of water.
“Thanks, Sean.” She sat up just enough to drink without spilling. It didn’t look like she was feeling as good as I hoped she would.
“Can I put in a movie or something for you?”
“Sure, just pick something,” she said.
I grabbed the remote and clicked on Netflix. I found the movie right away and as soon as the music started
, she smiled. “
Grease
,” she said. I kissed her on the forehead and went to finish dinner. I heard a faint giggle a couple of times and it made me feel good. By the time I had the food ready, Brynn was sitting up. She looked like she felt better.
We ate on the couch a
s we finished watching
Grease
. Brynn said she felt like getting up, but when she did she got lightheaded.
“I know it’s just because of those nasty pain pills and the fact that I’ve been down for so long. Could you just stand with me for a minute until I have my balance back?”
“Of course,” I said as I helped her stand and leaned her up against me.
“Yes, this is good,” she said
as she got used to it. “As much as I’d like to keep leaning up against you, I’ve got to pee.”
“I’m coming with you,” I told her. The last thing I wanted was for her to fall again.
“No, you’re not! I can’t pee if you’re watching!”
“I’m not gonna watch! I’m just gonna walk you to the bathroom.” I laughed. “Now who’s being a baby?”
She laughed. “Oh, okay then.”
She was pretty steady all the way to the bathroom so I trusted her not to pass out. I still waited outside the door and when she opened it
, she shook her head at me.
“I’m good,” she said. “But I have to admit,
it sure is nice to have you at my beck and call.” She gave me a sweet kiss.
“Don’t get too carried away,” I told her. “That was how you got into this predicament in the first place.”
“It was worth it.” She smiled.
We spent the rest of the night playing cards and watching movies. She knew a lot of card games. She said she used to play with Juanita a lot, along with board games and dice. I told her I knew how to play poker, but that was about it, so she challenged me to a game of strip poker when she felt better. I couldn’t wait.
“I can’t believe tomorrow is the Fourth of July,” she said as we snuggled up in my bed.
“I kno
w. The summers always go so fast. I was thinking, while you were sleeping, about going to The Lock for a couple of concerts. I’d love to take you. In fact, I don’t even want to go if you don’t come with me. Anyway, I was gonna talk to you about going at the end of the month, but since you can’t work now, I want to take you this weekend.”
Whew! I said it, now the shit’s gonna hit the fan.
She jerked her head up and looked at me.
Here it comes.
“Oh my god! That would be awesome! That’s where Gia is, right?” I was pleasantly shocked.
“Yeah. Are you saying you’ll go?”
“Hell yes! I mean, why not? I’ve never been anywhere, and I can’t work anyway, tips were really good last month, so I padded my fun money, which has been adding up since I don’t do anything fun. Hell yes!” She was sitting up by then, and her eyes were sparkling.
“You have
fun money
?” I laughed. I had never heard of it.
“Yes, money put aside for fun stuff. One of my friends at Sashay gave me the idea when I first started there. At the end of every week, after I pay my bills, seventy-five percent of what I have left goes to my school savings and the other twenty-five percent goes into my fun money account. It was exciting at first, watching it grow and thinking about what I would do with it, but then
life happened and treatment happened and there it sits.”
“
I think that’s a really good idea,” I told her. “But I think you missed what I said. I want to take you,” I repeated.
She sighed and leaned her head back, looking at the ceiling, thinking. She looked back at me. “I’ve worked long, hard hours for what I have. I
’ve put up with a lot of bullshit from drunks and perverts while keeping a sweet smile on my face. I just go in, do my job, and count my money at the end of the day. I’ve never been on vacation, or to a live concert. I’ve never flown or taken a bus trip or ridden on a train. I left my parents’ home when I was eighteen years old with the clothes on my back and a small duffle bag of personal items. That was five years ago, and although I’ve had a couple of rough years along the way, I’m in a really good place right now. I’ve never met anyone like you, someone who I enjoy being with more than being alone. Do you know how much it would mean to me to go on this trip, with you, with the money I earned from working hard and saving? It would be really rewarding for me, and I would be really proud of myself.” I was speechless. I mean, what could I say? She was amazing. She was absolutely amazing.
“If I wasn’t so touched by what you just said, I’d be telling you how stubborn and irritatingly independent you are, but your words inspired me to look beyond the obvious.” She smiled at me and I winked at her. “You
should
be proud of yourself. I’m proud of you and I’m even prouder that you allow me to call you my girlfriend. You’ve had it tough, yes, but you don’t use it as a crutch or an excuse, you use it to survive and succeed. I knew right away that I couldn’t assume anything with you and you keep reminding me of that. Thank you for being you.” She hugged me so tight I could feel her heart beating.
“Wake up! It’s gonna be a really great day!” I heard Brynn say while my eyes were still closed. I smiled at her enthusiasm.
“I thought you weren’t a morning person.”
“I usually don’t have exciting things to look forward to! Happy Independence Day!” She gave me a quick kiss.
“Same to you. How’s your head?”
“Sore, but better. I had to get up and take some ibuprofen a couple hours ago, but it took the edge off. I don’t know what you wanted to do today, but I may have to take it a little easy, I’m sorry.”
“I planned some
‘taking it easy’ stuff, so that’s perfect. Let’s shower and go have some breakfast.”
While Brynn finished getting ready, I checked on some flights and called Gia. She was so excited for us to come. I couldn’t wait to see her. Brynn and I decided on a flight and booked them. In twenty-four hours we’d be on our way.
We had breakfast and went to Brynn’s so she could pack and take care of a few things before we left. She was so organized that she knew exactly what she needed to take care of. We stopped at the store on the way back to my place and I was feeling as giddy as she was by the time we got there.
“Are you baking something?” she asked as
she helped unload the bags.
“
We
are baking something,” I told her.
She noticed all the sprinkles and candy decorat
ions by then. “Sugar cookies?” she said quietly.
“Sugar cookies.
” I nodded. “You seemed to like the memory with Juanita, and since we’re taking it easy today, I thought it would be a fun memory for us, too.”
She smiled and stared at me. It filled me with warmth. “I love it. Thank you.”
We made star, flag, and firecracker shaped cookies. I couldn’t keep my dough from sticking to the counter no matter how much flour I used, but Brynn’s looked professionally perfect. She tried to help me, but I was getting turned on by watching her hands work the dough, so I finally rolled the rest of it into balls and made round cookies.
“What are those?” s
he asked.
“Uh, y
ou’ll see after I decorate them.” I had no idea what they were going to be yet.
“Okay,
” she giggled. I think she was on to me.
Between cleaning up our mess from the flour war we got into and stopping to make out every five minutes, we’d spent a couple
of hours in the kitchen and decided to wait awhile before decorating. I decided I’d better pack, so Brynn laid on my bed to keep me company.
“
Have you traveled a lot?” she asked.
“We went on a lot of vacations while I was growing up, and I’ve taken several trips as an adult, so yeah, I guess so.”
“How many siblings do you have?”
“Two. One sister, Samantha, and a brother, Scott.”
“Are you close to them, and your parents?”
“Pretty much. I mean, we don’t talk every day, but usually once a week.” I felt bad talking about my family, knowing her parents were the scum of the earth.
“That’s nice,” she said. “Do you want to have kids?”
“I think so. Gretchen and I had planned on starting a family right away, but since I lost her, I haven’t seriously thought about it for a while.” It was true. “How about you? Do you want to have kids?”
“Probably. I guess I just figured I’d cross that bridge when and if I ever came to it. I have an implant, not because I needed birth control, but because of my job, so I don’t have a period, just in case you were wondering.” Her face turned pink.
“Good to know. Yes, I had considered birth control the other night, when I wanted to make love to you, so I’m glad you mentioned it. I’d never thought about getting the implant to stop your period.”
“Most of the dancers at Sashay have it. The last thing you want to worry about is hiding your string, when all you’re wearing is a string.” We laughed.
“Is your name Angel?”
“Yes. How’d you know?”
“When I picked you up the other night, that guy called you Angel, the one that wanted the l
ap dance,” I said. I was jealous. I didn’t want anyone else to see her body besides me. I knew I had to deal with it, but it would be hard.
“Oh
, yeah. He’s one of my regulars,” she said.
“Do you do a lot of lap dances? For regulars?” I wanted to be her only regular lap dance partner.
“It just depends, on the lap dances. Bachelor parties and birthdays mostly, but usually it’s the regulars who give the generous tips.”
“What’s a generous tip?” I was curious.
“Anywhere from a hundred to a thousand.” She shrugged.
I stopped packing and spun my head around to look at her. “Some of your regulars tip you a thousand dollars for a lap dance?” I couldn’t believe it.
She laughed at my reaction. “Yes. Crazy, huh? I think you’d be really shocked by the amount of money I bring home in tips alone. They’ll pay for my college education.”
“Holy shit. That’s unbelievable. I’d like a lap dance from you sometime, but I’d better hit the ATM first.” I laughed.
“Your first one’s free.” She smiled. “That just reminded me, we need to get some cigars and alcohol for our poker night. Unless…do you drink?”
“Sometimes, yes. I was wondering the same about you. You’d mentioned drugs and alcohol before, but I wasn’t sure about your treatment.”
“My treatment focused on relationships, depression, and eating disorders,” she said. I sat on the bed in front of her. “I tried to use drugs and alcohol, but marijuana didn’t seem to do a thing for me besides give me a headache, and I was such a lightweight with the alcohol that I’d be puking before I really had any fun.” She laughed. “My drug of choice was food. It was my friend, and my enemy, it made me feel good, and it made me feel miserable. Food is tough to kick, since you need it to survive. That’s why I have a love/hate relationship with it. I have to face it every day, every meal.”
“You’re doing really well with it though, aren’t you?” I noticed what she ate and when, just because she’d mentioned it when I asked her if she was only eating one slice of pizza. I couldn’t help but keep it in mind.
“Yes, most of the time. I have my moments, but if I keep calm and don’t let things get to me, I do really well. Part of it too, is that I don’t want to be fat again, so you won’t see me eating junk food very often. Once or twice a month I
have
to have chocolate, but that’s no biggie.”
“What kind of chocolate?” I assumed it was because of her cycle and her hormones.
“ANY!” She laughed.
“Good to know,” I chuckled. I loved learning new things about her. She was very interesting. “You’re so tiny. It’s hard to
imagine that you were ever overweight. That’s probably something someone put into your head.” I remembered her story and how her dad called her fat.
“I was about forty pounds heavier than I am now, so yes, I was fat. I learned pretty quickly that if I wanted to make enough money to make my dreams happen, I had to lose weight. That’s where the eating disorders came in. I didn’t lose it the healthy way, that’s for sure.”
“Where did you go when you left home?”
“To the streets,” she said. “I met some girls. They took me in. It was a crazy ride, not what I was used to, for sure, but one in particular took me under her wing. She probably saved my life, my virginity for sure. She’s the one who talked me into starting my ‘fun money’ fund.”
“Why do you say she saved your virginity? Did someone try to hurt you?”
“
The girls I met were prostitutes and I hung out with them a lot. I could’ve easily gotten into that, but Maria wouldn’t hear of it. She said I was special and that I had what it took to make something out of myself. She let me stay with her in her two bedroom apartment. Sometimes she’d bring her clients there and I’d stay in my room with the door shut. The guys never knew I was there, and I heard a lot more than I wanted to. Maria never let them get close enough to me to hurt me. She’d never bring someone there that she didn’t know. She was only three years older than me, but she was like a mother to me, still is, I guess.”
“She works with you at Sashay, right?”
I heard her name before, I think she’s covering Brynn’s shift tonight.
“Yes. She started there a few months after I did. She tried to talk me out of working there, but after three years of waiting tables and cleaning motel rooms for minimum wage, I was ready to make some changes. I applied and got hired in the same day, but couldn’t start until
I was twenty-one, which was a week later. When I told her how much money I was making, she learned how to dance. I think she felt better being able to keep an eye on me, too.”
“I’m so glad she saw how special you were, and I’m proud of you for making your own way and staying safe.” I hugged her.
“Me too,” she said. “Are you ready to decorate cookies?”
“Yep, I’m all packed.” I gently pulled her down on the bed and held her. “Of all the trips I’ve been on, I’ve got to say, I’m more excited about this one than I was any of them. I love watching you experience and see things for the first time. You inspire me and I feel very lucky to have met you. We’re going to have a lot of fun.”
“I feel very lucky, too. Thanks for letting Gia give me your number.” She kissed me, slowly at first, but then more seductively. I didn’t know how long I was going to be able to keep her satisfied, or myself for that matter. A month seemed like a long, long time.
We had a lot of fun frosting and decorating. Brynn’s looked like we’d bought them from the bakery and mine, well, they looked a lot different. I frosted the circles with either red, white or blue frosting and covered them with the same color sugar. I told Brynn they were the balls of fire that exploded in the air from the big fireworks, like the ones we were going to watch later.
“Very creative,” she giggled. “Now, what are we going to do with all of these? I think we should wrap a bunch of them up and give them away. Do you have any kids or elderly people in your building?”
“That’s really sweet,” I told her. “But, uh…”
“Don’t worry, you can keep some, but we’re leaving tomorrow and you still have the stuff I made you.” She was right.
“How many can I keep?” I started filling a freezer bag. “I can freeze them and enjoy them for weeks to come.” I was kinda selfish when it came to homemade goodies.
She leaned against the counter with her arms folded in front of her shaking her head. “And I thought I had a problem with food,” she said. “I’ll bake for you anytime, Sean. You don’t have to be a cookie hoarder.”
I laughe
d. “Okay, but I’m gonna hold you to that.” I uncrossed her arms and put them around me. “You’re sweet and bossy at the same time. It turns me on when you scold me.”
“I just don’t like to waste, and it’s fun to sh
are things that you’ve enjoyed making.”
“Will you boss me around sometime
s? Tell me what to do and what not to do to you?” I tickled her sides.
“How did we go from talking about cookies to that?” She laughed.
“Then if I did something wrong, you could scold me.”
“
You’re really into this, aren’t you?”
“Are you getting mad? Do you want to spank me?” I was trying to be serious, but her eyes got big an
d it made me crack up. She grabbed me and kissed me, hard. I’m pretty sure it turned her on after all.
We got back on track. Gia called Brynn to see how her head was and they talked for quite some time. I tried not to eavesdrop, even though I was curious, so I wrapped up some cookies while I waited.
“Would you mind if we swung by my place again? I forgot a few things,” she said when she hung up.
“
Not at all. How about we go by your place, deliver some cookies, and have a nice dinner before we watch fireworks?”
“So you decided you cou
ld share after all?”
“Some,” I said. “Just don’t look in my freezer.”
We freshened up and changed clothes. “This sucks!” she said from the bathroom. I walked to the doorway.
“What?” I asked.
“My head, my hair. Look at me. I have a big gauzy thing on the back of my head. I can’t even wear a cap. I feel unattractive.” She was frustrated, but beautiful.
I walked up behind her and put my arms around her,
resting my chin on her shoulder as I looked at her in the mirror. “It’s amazing how you’re looking at the same reflection I am, but we’re seeing different things. Nothing about you is unattractive, even the things you can’t see in your reflection.”
She put her hands on mine and smiled.
When we got to her place she went to her room and returned shortly with a bag. It looked like it had clothes in it and maybe some shoes. We dropped some cookies off at Sashay and she came out of there with another bag.