Sean Donovan (The Californians, Book 3) (24 page)

"But you wish you could be elsewhere."

"Not without you," he told her simply. "Whenever I
think about visiting my family, or even going to see my
father in Hawaii, you're with me. The idea of leaving you
behind or leaving you at all is inconceivable to me."

Charlie searched his face and learned in an instant
that she had been blind to Sean's true feelings about her.

"Charlotte, will you please ask me the question that
you wanted to ask me days ago?"

Charlie didn't know how he knew about that, but
neither did she care. "Sean, how do you feel about sharing my room?"

Sean's smile was so tender that Charlie's breath left her
in a rush. They leaned toward each other at the same
time, and Sean suddenly understood the silly look Kate
always had on her face after Rigg kissed her-he would
have sworn he was floating.

He also knew that he could now tell Charlie he loved
her, but he knew he had time-all the time in the world.

It took Sadie exactly five seconds to notice the new
intimacy between Sean and Charlie. If there had been
any doubt in her mind, and there wasn't, it would have
been resolved when Charlie stayed in the kitchen to talk
with Sean during his bath. Naturally Sadie approved
wholeheartedly, and would have approved all the more
had she known the whole story.

Rarely had two people been so lovingly compatible.
Evening lessons with the primer were now spent in the
bed they shared as husband and wife, and Sean was
always ready with a kiss for a job well done.

Sean learned in no time at all that Charlie loved to
have her back scratched. In fact, she was downright
greedy about it! Her request for him to scratch a certain
spot on her back for a minute always turned into a halfhour. She was disappointed when he stopped, even
when he told her his arm was ready to fall off.

Their favorite times were Sunday mornings, because
they were able to sleep in. Since the livery was closed,
the only chores were feeding the stock and checking the
forge. They were usually able to cuddle and talk in bed
for more than an hour before they needed to get ready for church. It was during this time that they had their most
important discussions.

"Sean, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"The night you moved into my room, you asked me if I
liked children. Why?" Sean's shoulder vibrated under
Charlie's cheek and jaw. "What's so funny?"

"Me," Sean answered her, his voice still full of laughter. "I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to bring
the conversation around to intimate things, so I thought
if we talked about babies, you'd understand that I wanted
a marriage in every way and that I was going nowhere."

"Oh," Charlie replied thoughtfully. Sean shifted so he
could see her face.

"By the way, you never answered me. Do you like
children?"

"I think so. I haven't been around them much."

"What was your own childhood like?" It was a question Sean had wanted to ask for a long time, and he
prayed even now as he waited to see if his timing had
been right.

"Not much fun," Charlie admitted softly. "I could
never do anything right."

"You mean in your grandfather's eyes?"

Charlie sighed. "He was not an easy man."

"Tell me about him," Sean entreated, attempting with
his voice and eyes to tell her just how much he wanted to
know.

"Sadie told me he'd always been the same," Charlie
began. "Even when she was a little girl she remembers
him being overbearing and cruel. Sadie thinks his own
father must have treated him that way; it was the only
way he ever knew. She also thinks it would have been
better if either she or my mother had been a boy."

"You didn't know your mother, did you?"

"Not personally, no, but Sadie has been telling me
about her forever. She was a lot like Sadie I thinkwarm, caring, and nurturing."

"Were you ever able to talk to your grandfather?"

"He wasn't the talking type. Once, when I had a crush
on a boy, I tried to tell him about it, but Grandpa got so
mad I lit out for Sadie's and stayed away for the better
part of the day. He had cooled down by the time I got
home, but I never tried again. When I got a little older,
and I knew he was about to hit me, I would threaten to
run off like my mother had. That would calm him down
for a while, but there was no reasoning with him."

"How is it that your mother ended up back here to
have you?"

"Sadie said my father was a married man who lived in
another town. When my mother ran off and took up with
him, I don't think she was worried about getting pregnant, just about staying away from my grandfather for
the rest of her life. It's funny, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"That the man she was most afraid of was the man she
came back to when she found herself alone, hungry, and
scared because she was eight months pregnant and not
married. If only Grandpa could have been a little more
understanding."

"What did he do?"

"He hit her. Knocked her to the floor. Her water gave
way just about then, and I was born 15 hours later. Sadie
thinks my mother gave up after that. I didn't cry right
away, and she was certain I was dead. Sadie tried to tell
her otherwise, but she wouldn't listen. She just lay
there, fell asleep, and never woke up."

"Who took care of you?"

"Sadie found a wet nurse. I was pretty scrawny, but I must have something of Grandpa in me, because I survived."

"Where was your grandmother during all of this?"

"She died when Sadie and my mother were just girls."

They were both quiet for a few moments, and then
Sean asked one final question. "Do you have any good
memories of your grandfather?"

"Not many. When I was 12, I remember being thankful that he only hit me. A friend told me that her dad
would touch her the way a husband touches a wife."

Sean pulled her very close then and held her securely
against his chest. She's known such awful things, Lord. It's a
miracle she's as wonderful as she is. Sean desperately wanted
to tell her that as hard as this life was, it was only
temporary and if she chose, she could someday live
forever with God, but now did not seem the time to talk
of eternal things.

As Charlie cuddled into his side, Sean prayed silently.
Please, Lord, open the door in Your time and use me if it's Your
will.

Sadie had made Charlie a second dress for church, and
she wore it that very morning. It was a pale yellow print
that brought out the gold color in her hazel eyes. Sean
whistled when he saw her in it, and even with their
newly discovered love Charlie was so flustered her face
turned three shades of red.

They were again having dinner with Duncan and
Lora, and this time Charlie was taking a basket of muffins she had baked the day before. Just as they left the
house, Charlie stopped Sean with a question. She had
copied a word onto a small scrap of paper and, holding it
out to him, asked how to pronounce it and what it
meant.

"Remission," Sean told her. "Where did you read
this?"

Charlie looked uncomfortable. "In your Bible."

"Oh," Sean said simply, as though it didn't matter in
the least. "Well, if it's from the verse I'm thinking of,
about the shedding of blood, it means forgiveness."

He led the way to the buggy then, his heart pounding
in his chest. He kissed Charlie softly as he helped her
into the seat, and prayed once again that God would use
him to show Charlie that God was the true Forgiver.

"John, the son of Zacharias and Elizabeth, is often
referred to as the forerunner of Christ." Pastor Miller had
begun his sermon. "We're still studying the life of Jesus
Christ, but right now I'd like you to get to know John a
little better. We read about John in the books of Matthew
and Mark as a man whose 'raiment is made of camel's
hair and whose diet is honey and locusts.'

"I think it's important that the Scriptures tell us what
John eats and how he dresses so we get a picture of the
overall man. They help us to see that John is a man
of consistency. But consistent about what? Let's check
Mark 1:7. Let me read it to you. 'There cometh one
mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose shoes I am
not worthy to stoop down and unloose.'

"There isn't a one of us that hasn't heard the phrase,
'He's not good enough to tie my shoes.' This is what John
is saying about himself in regard to Jesus Christ. Mark
records here that John said he was not worthy even to
untie Jesus' shoes.

"What I'm trying to point out to you is that John was a
man of great humility and singleness of purpose. He
could have sought a life filled with riches, but we see in his food and clothing that he didn't. His purpose was to
prepare the way for the Savior, to tell others that the
Christ was coming. John knew that nothing was more
important than this task.

"John's mission on this earth as the forerunner of
Christ was a great one, but he knew he was not the Great
One. John couldn't save; he pointed the way toward the
One who could. John baptized with water, but the One
he pointed to would baptize with the Holy Spirit. For
salvation we can look only to Christ, as John states in
chapter 20, verse 31, 'But these are written, that ye might
believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that
believing, ye might have life through his name."'

Charlie could not get Pastor Miller's words out of her
mind. He made it sound simple, but it was all so foreign
to her. Salvation, the need to be saved, even words and
phrases like "forerunner" and "life through His name,"
were not in her vocabulary.

Charlie had tried to read Sean's Bible in an attempt to
please the husband who meant so much to her, but very
little of it had made sense. She hoped that as her reading skills improved, more would become clear. Charlie
wouldn't have hesitated to ask Sean what something
meant in the newspaper, but his Bible was different.

She was afraid to let him know just how limited her
knowledge of the Bible was. He said he wasn't going to
leave her, but in many ways Sean was just too good to be
true, and Charlie was still just a little afraid she would
wake up someday and find him gone.