Authors: Janice Pariat
Finally, I walked out. One step down and the flood light blazed on. It felt as though I was alone on a stage, and didn't quite know which part I was meant to be playing.
I walked across to the house, my breath forming spirits before my face. Should I go to the back door? No, I was a guest. Not a family friend.
I pressed the doorbell, and waited. The piano player had stopped. Above the wooden mailbox hung a nameplate carved in dark grey stoneâWintervale.
I expected Myra to come to the door, or her father, but it was opened by a boy, no older than nine or ten, breathless, clutching what looked like a decapitated toy penguin. We stared at each otherâthick dark hair curled messily around his ears, his cheeks flushed.
“Hello,” I said.
He had bright, wide eyes with no hint of wariness or fear. They were green or grey, it was difficult to tell.
“Is that for me?” His gaze had fallen on the gift under my arm.
“Elliot.” It was Myra, coming down the stairs at the end of the foyer. “You mustn't keep people waiting.” She looked at me. “I do apologize.”
We entered the drawing room, spacious and surprisingly modern, with an ivory sofa set in the centre, arranged around a fireplace draped with holly. At one end, wide shelves and an elegant chaise longue, more for style than convenience, and at the other a deep bay window. The ceiling rose pristinely white, while the walls were papered by pale floral damask, tinged in leaf-green. In a corner, a Christmas tree gleamed and flickered, decorated in silver and gold.
For a moment, everything seemed touched by something unreal.
“This is Elliot⦔ Myra paused before adding, “my son.”
I tried to sound casual while greeting him, hoping the surprise didn't show through.
“Elliot,” she continued, “this is an old friend⦠you can call him Nem.”
The boy, still holding on to the headless seabird, gave me a long scrutinizing stare. “Mummy told me you're from India⦠is that true?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Do you have an elephant? I saw on TV⦠a man from India who had a pet elephant.”
“No⦠but I know a man who can speak to birds.”
The boy's eyes widened.
“You can ask him all about it tomorrow,” said Myra. “Now, go find Flapper's head, and put all your toys away.”
You didn't tell me you had a sonâ¦
Except, of course, she had no reason to. We'd shared no more than a fleeting encounter, years ago, in a bungalow in the old city on the other side of the world. Nothing in common but Nicholas. Then and now. Running through us like a fault line. But it was enough to have drawn us here together so we could untangle the past.
“This is for you⦔ I handed her the chocolates.
“Thank you, Nem⦠you shouldn't have⦔ She walked over to the tree, and placed it alongside a pile of other gift-wrapped boxes.
“What's in it?” Elliot stood at the door, Flapper dangling inelegantly by his side.
“It's a surprise, darling,” said Myra. “Now, let's get you ready for bed. Come along⦔
She said she'd be down soon and ushered him upstairs.
I stood by the fireplace and put my hands to the flames. It made me nervous, this scrupulous pristineness. What if my shoes had dragged in dirt? I checked, quickly. They hadn't, but I wished I'd worn a smarter
pair. (Thank heavens I'd splurged on the chocolates.) The overmantle mirror calmly reflected the door and walls, a large impasto painting of white tulips, a floor lamp, me. A framed certificate hung left of the fireplace, a blue insignia with a declaration of an appointment to the Order of the British Empire. I stepped closer: for services to education. More intriguing, though, was the cabinet below that held an assortment of alcoholic beverages, as well as a decorative glass dome covering a pair of taxidermy birds. Mud brown apart from a gash of scarlet on their heads, they looked eerily, disconcertingly alive.
On the mantelpiece, stood slender candle holders on one end, and on the other, two tilting black and white photographs. Of Myra's motherâclear skin and fine bones, her eyes, I imagined, in shades of cloudy skyâand a man in uniform, glancing into the camera, rippling with youth. A heavy mustache, a strong chin. I leaned in, drawn to the shape of his mouth, the curve of his jaw.
“When did you arrive?”
I whipped around.
“Half-past five,” Sir. I almost added.
“Just off the boat then?”
He held out his hand. “Philip.” It was firm, cold to the touch.
“I'm Nehemiah⦠Myra's friend.”
“So she told me. From London, did you say?” His eyes were pale blue, shadows in the snow.
“Yes, I mean, that's where I am now⦠for a few more months. I'm from India.”
“India.” He said the word with affected grandeur. “Brought the monsoons here, have you?”
I smiled. “Seems like it.”
He gestured to an armchairâI sat downâand he moved to the table with the bottles and birds.
“Would you like a drink?”
My polite refusal was met with boisterous disapproval. “Come now, nothing to warm you up? Whisky? How about a gin and tonic? Or a nice dry sherry? Yes?”
“I was offered a job once in India⦔ He mentioned a public school in the north of the country. “You might have heard of it⦔
I said I had. Did he take it up?
“Oh no⦠I didn't.” He didn't offer a reason why.
Since the conversation seemed to have halted, I asked the most perfunctory of questionsâwhether he'd ever visited the Indian subcontinent.
“I'm afraid not,” he said. “The closest I got⦠was Australia⦠no, Jakarta, for some conference or the other.”
The glow from the fire spilled into the room; above the spit and crackle of the wood, I could hear the low drum of rain. Discreetly, I studied Philip's profileâan outline of bold strokes, a long, sturdy nose, a rugged expanse of forehead and cheek, and oddly delicate, feminine lips. A portrait by Francis Bacon, completed by someone else.
His face seemed strangely familiar.
Where could I have possible seen him? Perhaps it was a trick of light. Or alcohol. My G&T, I could tell, was more generously supplied with gin than tonic.
“So how do you know Myra?”
The safest answer was we'd met through a common friend.
“Over in London?”
I hesitated. No, years ago in India.
Surprise glimmered on his face for a moment, and then it was gone, replaced by mild curiosity.
“Oh, I don't recall when she went⦔
I could tell him. To the day.
He laughed. “But then, one can't be privy to everything in our children's lives, can we?”
“No.” It was Myra, at the door. “One can't be privy to everything in anyone's life.”
Supper, she went on to announce, was ready.
The dining room across the foyer was a smaller space painted eggshell blue, with a series of still life paintingsâfruit, fish and gameâon the wall. We sat on slender, high-backed chairs; Philip at the head and Myra and I on either side. Her dress matched the hydrangeas arranged at the centre of the table, a deep royal purple. Strung around her neck, a discreet line of pearls.
As with every meal shared, this too began with a ritualâthe flurry of napkins, the polite passing around of food. A dance of hands and cutlery. We started with a creamy mushroom soup, and moved on to long-simmered coq au vin. On the side, glistening Brussels sprouts, potato mash, and rolls of crusty, rosemary-infused bread.
Myra served herself small, tidy portions. Philip poured the wine, a rich Burgundy Bouchard Aîné Fils, elegantly woody and spiced. I was ravenous but ate slowly, taking care to compliment the foodâ“Did you make this, Myra?”
She laughed. “No, I'm afraid my culinary skills are mostly non-existent. We have a lady coming in to help around the house⦠Mrs. Hammond⦠you'll meet her tomorrow.”
Of course, I should have known, and not asked what now seemed a silly question. Given where they lived, it was hardly likely Myra managed the household. Somehow, the exchange dampened my hunger, compressing it into a tight, leaden ball at the bottom of my stomach.
“What are you doing in London?” asked Philip. “Do you play a musical instrument too?”
No, I didn'tâ¦
“Ah, you play cricket then, I'm sure.”
“Not everyone in India plays cricket,” interrupted Myra.
“Daddy⦔
“I'm only joking.” He looked at me. “You know I'm joking, don't you?”
I nodded.
“Besides,” he said, “I prefer tennis. Do you play tennis, Nehemiah?”
No, I was afraid not.
“Swim?”
Not much.
He went on to say that was a pity; else we might've used the pool or courts at Kingsley, a school nearby where he used to be headmaster.
“They're indoors,” clarified Myra. “What are your plans for the holidays?” she added, perhaps in a bid to change the subject. She sounded like Eva.
“Let me guess,” said Philip, looking at me over the rim of his wine glass, “you don't ski either?”
“I do.”
“
Do
you?”
“No⦠I was joking.”
Philip laughed, a hearty, wholesome laughâwith me, or at me, I wasn't sure.
We'd just started dessertâapple crumble and warm custardâwhen Philip said he'd met Geoff, while taking the horses out that afternoon. “Geoffrey Ritchie⦠he lives down the road from us,” he added for my benefit. “Poor chap⦠still having problems with his neighbors.”
“You mean the young couple?” asked Myra.
Allegedly, they'd driven a fence a few meters into his property, and after a number of rows, each more escalated than the last, he was taking them to court.
“Oh, dad, he's a crotchety old man.”
Her father chuckled, sipping his wine.
“I think it's silly, to fight over a bit of mud⦔ said Myra.
“I suppose he feels, well, three meters today⦠four tomorrow⦠and soon he'll be feeding them supper too.”
“What horses do you have?” I asked.
Philip leaned back, appraising me, my question. “Only ever kept Irish Hunters.”
“May I come round to see them? If that's alright⦔
“Do you ride, Nem?” Myra seemed surprised.
She didn't remember.
“Yes⦠although it's been a while.”
The dessert sat tart and ripe on my tongue. I could feel the tiredness now, seeping into my limbs.
“Come see the horses tomorrow,” said Philip. “General and Lady. Fine animals. Unless you have other plans⦔
“I thought I'd take Nem for a walk⦠down Triscombe Way.” Myra sketched out our plans for the next three daysâperhaps a drive to the moors, a visit to the village. “All depending on the weather⦔
“I'm in London on Saturday,” said Philip. “You can do what you like, but don't take the horses out. Not if I'm not around.”
“We won't.” She turned to me, “Dad goes up for monthly meetings at the Whiley Club.”
“What sort of club is it?” I asked.
“Like the Bullingdon,” he replied, “only the members are fifty years older.” He pushed himself away from the table, “Now, how about a whisky? I've got a lovely twelve-year Lochnagar⦠they say it's the Queen's favorite.”
Later, Philip retired to his study, while Myra and I sat by the fire; the flames now burning low. I still cradled the whisky; denser than I was accustomed to, though with a pleasant dryness around the edges.
“I know it's absurd but I feel like I've seen your father before⦠some where⦔
“It
is
absurd! Dad doesn't leave the house. Apart from going riding or hunting.”
“And London.”
“Yes. To mooch around with a bunch of stuffy old men.”
I hesitated. “I hope I haven't offended him in any way⦔
“Good grief, no. He'sâI told you, he can be a bit⦠forthright.”